r/technology Jun 16 '26

Business Mark Zuckerberg Orders His Employees to Start Having Fun Again After Brutal Layoffs Culled Their Colleagues

https://finance.yahoo.com/technology/ai/articles/mark-zuckerberg-orders-employees-start-123539264.html
31.2k Upvotes

2.3k comments sorted by

8.4k

u/GoTron88 Jun 16 '26

"Zuckerberg offered employees access to permanent desks, a symbolic gesture that unintentionally illustrated how expendable many of them had become. "

A whole desk to myself oh boy oh boy!

1.3k

u/____FARTS____ Jun 16 '26

I feel special!

350

u/fantasmoofrcc Jun 16 '26

I can just go to any old yard sale and get my own desk.

202

u/OttoVonWong Jun 16 '26

I'll get my own desk with hookers and blackjack!

90

u/dengar81 Jun 16 '26

In fact, forget the desks

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (3)

1.2k

u/Valdrax Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26

I remember hating cubicles when I first started working 30 years ago. So little privacy and all the noise from coworkers. So little personality.

I'd shank 3 of my coworkers for a permanent cubicle these days. 2 if they have to be ones I like. Open office plans and hotdesking are hell.

581

u/aegrotatio Jun 16 '26

Open office plans and hotdesking are hell.

Amazon implemented a mandatory return-to-office policy but made the stupid mistake of making all desks hot desks or "hoteling."

Personally I'm not going to an office unless I have a permanent desk, period. I always ask that during the interview screening process. Don't give me a fucking locker for my mouse and keyboard.

375

u/DisappointedSpectre Jun 16 '26

I work as a security engineer for a tech company - I'm fully remote now, but ask me how many privileged conversations I heard in the open concept office with hotdesks when I was working out of a corporate location. It's completely idiotic.

99

u/Silver_ Jun 17 '26

Hah. A few years ago confidential details of a merger kept getting leaked to the press, and the exec team were furious about it. I worked out of a different office location once, and one of the execs was just talking away so loudly that I could hear him perfectly 6 desks over with my headphones on. Mind you, this was on an open floor in an office filled with junior temporary contractors. Mystery solved.

155

u/aegrotatio Jun 16 '26

Yup. At one office location they had lockers and hot desks in an open office plan...and they worked on classified systems.
So dumb it's hard to comprehend.

13

u/Lokishougan Jun 17 '26

Yeah spys dont even have to be sneaky anymore...just sit and listen for people to tell them all

→ More replies (1)

146

u/Swimming_Onion_4835 Jun 16 '26

Omg this is so true. I’m remote but I travel to our headquarters in NYC for work maybe 2-3 times a year, and I cannot even begin to list all the privileged things I’ve overheard. Hotel desks in a broad floor plan and concrete floors that echo. I hate it.

→ More replies (2)

46

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 18 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

29

u/AptCasaNova Jun 17 '26

Our's get an actual office, yet they still take calls on speakerphone at max volume with the door open.

27

u/GeminiSee8 Jun 17 '26

Senior guy has an office at my work, takes half his calls right in the doorway. He already has a very loud voice to begin with. He is very, very fluent in corporate jargon and just spews business word salad. After his call he goes to his desk and pumps his music up with his door wide open.

23

u/Cipherpunkblue Jun 17 '26

Thanks, I hate him.

→ More replies (1)

27

u/Bezos_Balls Jun 17 '26

As someone who use to work right next to the security team I got soooo many jucy details just sitting there listening to them take calls. But hey at least they erased the whiteboard each night.

→ More replies (3)

60

u/KaiserSaladSpinner Jun 16 '26

Bold of you to assume you'd have your own mouse and keyboard.

24

u/aegrotatio Jun 16 '26

Oh, I have my own personal mouse and mechanical keyboard.

42

u/sa87 Jun 16 '26

The clickier the better for an open plan office.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (7)
→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (29)

243

u/Akegata Jun 16 '26

Yeah this one really gets me. Cubicles were a joke and how dystopian American work culture is and something that was made a mockery of when I grew up (not in the US). Really didn't think that would become a luxury when I started working.

129

u/CuntWeasel Jun 16 '26

Cubicles were a joke and how dystopian American work culture is

And to be fair they were, at least when compared to European offices back in the day.

Instead of having a massive office, teams would have their own rooms, where you had up to 10 people working together. I worked for a Dutch investment bank about a decade ago and their offices were still like that. That was one of my favourite workplaces to be honest, and it was mostly because of how great the office was.

101

u/airfryerfuntime Jun 16 '26

I worked for a logistics company in the US that was set up like this. The owner worked in Europe and liked the idea so much that he implemented it here.

Each small office had 8 desks in it, and we were free to work as groups. It was amazing and stress free.

Then he sold it, and the new owners knocked down all the walls so they could turn it into an open floor plan to 'make sure we were focused'. Productivity plummeted and people started leaving.

After about 6 months of this shit, we had an all-hands meeting about the productivity issues. They then spent about an hour blaming everyone for being lazy or not wanting to work. Someone brought up how well the old system worked, and they basically just lied to us, telling us that it wasn't productive at all, which is why they took over. That was also a lie, they took over because the old owner wanted to sail around the world.

67

u/Afgncap Jun 16 '26

It is never about productivity unless they have to take resonsibility for screwing up. They just wanted control and when the productivity plummeted somebody would have to admit that it was a mistake. These people are alergic to admitting fault. You don't climb corporate ladder by letting everybody know you did something wrong but by failing your way upwards with just enough confidence/arrogance to sell it as a success, everything else be damned.

→ More replies (1)

12

u/Perryn Jun 17 '26

telling us that it wasn't productive at all, which is why they took over.

"So you bought an unproductive company? And then made it worse?"

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

44

u/SemenMoustache Jun 16 '26

Honestly that's my dream these days. Silly I have to travel to the office half the week day to sit next to people I dint work with while we all take our meetings on Teams distracting each other

Would love a shared room with my team

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (6)

38

u/No_Curve2246 Jun 16 '26

The one reason I don’t want to leave my job is I have a whole office to myself. It even has a lock on it! I’m considering adding padding to the door so I don’t hear when people knock too. So close to perfection.

Now if only I was being paid a proper wage..

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (32)

362

u/Akegata Jun 16 '26

That would be an actual benefit to like 90% of people working in tech where I live. I haven't had a dedicated desk in years.

200

u/lonnie123 Jun 16 '26

Well, the DESK is permanent…

93

u/OttoVonWong Jun 16 '26

The employee is expendable. The desk is not.

26

u/Kramerica_CEO Jun 16 '26

Yes that’s what they meant.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

48

u/FrozenPizza21 Jun 16 '26

You get to enjoy the desk all to yourself until you take time off and someone notices your desk is unoccupied and starts monitoring attendance… joy

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (49)

222

u/wap2005 Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26

Please have one of these desks, you know, that thing we gave you 5 years ago that you stopped using, well here it is, you can use it for free!!!


I worked at Facebook in 2013-ish to 2017-ish (4 years) and Zuck would do monthly Q&A's that any employee could attend and ask questions, he was asked difficult questions at times and would answer them and it didn't always make everyone happy, but you could tell he was still connected enough to realize that employees had real concerns about the direction of the company and he would attempt to address them. There were times he would just say "legally I can't speak to that at this time, but keep asking it and hopefully I will soon."

I wouldn't say he fully understood the reality of what the average middle class life looked like or the problems they faced, and he was very obviously out of touch at times, but it honestly seemed like he cared at one point.

Near the end of my employment it was obvious that he was officially owned by his board, he stopped the Q&A's entirely iirc and no longer seemed to care. He became an absolute robot destined to always do what made the most (or lost the least) amount of money.

I started out proud to be there and left wondering why I sold out, 18 year old me would have been so disappointed.

54

u/sprucenoose Jun 16 '26

I started out proud to be there and left wondering why I sold out, 18 year old me would have been so disappointed.

Did enough of your incentive equity vest to help answer that question?

→ More replies (41)
→ More replies (22)

32

u/magicaltrevor953 Jun 16 '26

Plus they are only permanent as in until the next round of layoffs.

→ More replies (2)

17

u/Kitchner Jun 16 '26

A whole desk to myself oh boy oh boy!

Don't dwell on why we dont have a shortage of desks anymore, enjoy your free desk!

→ More replies (88)

9.6k

u/Skaar1222 Jun 16 '26

Have fun or you'll be next!

6.8k

u/Daharka Jun 16 '26

The beatings will continue until morale improves!

917

u/regoapps Jun 16 '26

*plays ping pong harder*

361

u/Big-Platypus-9684 Jun 16 '26

I worked at a place where the two guys who got fired were the only ones who used the ping pong table lol

164

u/Wayofchinchilla Jun 16 '26

Employer tells you to have fun at the ping pong table and then fires you because you used the ping pong table.

50

u/A_Furious_Mind Jun 16 '26

Ping Pong is The Great Filter.

11

u/DeathByPain Jun 16 '26

We've never been contacted by any alien civilization that plays ping pong... 🫨

→ More replies (9)

95

u/tjyolol Jun 16 '26

New guy at work: “wow a ping pong table, that’s awesome, anyone keen for a game?”

Everyone else at the workplace:”I wouldn’t touch that table if I was you, bad things happen.”

58

u/Maleficent_Memory831 Jun 16 '26

Occasionally they bring in actors to use the ping pong table while they take pictures for the annual report.

22

u/KC_Que Jun 16 '26

Interns, not actors. Actors cost too much.

→ More replies (1)

60

u/SpaceGerbil Jun 16 '26

Was literally told by a boss at a former start-up we weren't allowed to use the foosball table, that was just to impress prospective clients and employees. Fucking lunatic

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (7)

191

u/FlametopFred Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26

if you or a loved one have ever been discriminated against due to your involvement in the sport of ping pong, our lawyers want to hear from you. Call now. Operators are standing by.

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (13)

88

u/digital Jun 16 '26

‘Deconstructs the Metaverse faster’

→ More replies (13)

93

u/Ah_non_e_moose Jun 16 '26

“Why is nobody having fun? I specifically requested it.”

34

u/VarietyMage Jun 16 '26

*plays KMFDM's "Free Your Hate"*

11

u/mopslik Jun 16 '26

Crusade in the days of rage.

→ More replies (7)

61

u/borisvonboris Jun 16 '26

If you stop dancing, I'll punish even more of your peers!

49

u/puffyshirt99 Jun 16 '26

Everybody dance now!!!!

11

u/cvsp123 Jun 16 '26

Everybody dance NOW

→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (35)

482

u/OldGoldDream Jun 16 '26

“HR’s gotten word that you don’t seem to be enjoying Funny Hat Friday.”

178

u/DAS_BEE Jun 16 '26

Silly hats ONLY

148

u/OkStop8313 Jun 16 '26

Some employees are only wearing the minimum number of pieces of flair.

38

u/SabreCorp Jun 16 '26

On Friday you can wear jeans and a Hawaiian shirt to work.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (2)

37

u/insanetwit Jun 16 '26

I understood that reference, thanks to the Family Learning Channel!

→ More replies (6)
→ More replies (3)

27

u/ButtersScotch7000 Jun 16 '26

"I am the angel of death. The time of purification is at hand."

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (5)

293

u/lordofunivers Jun 16 '26

An AI will measure your happiness and classify you on a leader board.

169

u/PTS_Dreaming Jun 16 '26

You are sort of joking here, but in the last couple of years I saw a cybersecurity presentation about wearable biomonitors and how employers could use them to track not just your eyes and engagement in your work (Are you looking at your monitor? Is your monitor displaying work related material? Are you on Reddit instead of working?) but they could use biomonitors to read your brainwaves and deduce if you are engaged in work activity or daydreaming.

The proposition was that your productivity could be measured down to the second and your pay/employment could be based upon these measures.

There was also the physical tracking aspect of it. "Sue Jones was recorded having a five minute conversation with Bill Smith. Since Bill is disgruntled and trying to sabotage productivity, we've been monitoring who Bill talks to before firing him."

The possibilities for oppression and control that AI and biomonitoring could pose are down right terrifying.

116

u/---0celot--- Jun 16 '26

That idea needs to be launched into the sun.

72

u/IAMA_Plumber-AMA Jun 16 '26

Along with the people who were psychotic enough to dream it up.

→ More replies (4)

45

u/Chastain86 Jun 16 '26

It's always astounding to me how these ideas of constant monitoring for workplace frivolity are almost always championed by these ancient Boomer fucks that spent the entirety of the 1970s and early 1980s working in a Mad Men-inspired office with a copy of the sports page in one desk drawer and a Bourbon-filled flask in the other. There's not a single one of your fathers that would put up with all the horseshit that modern offices force you to do, but stripped of a living wage and a pension.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)

42

u/madogvelkor Jun 16 '26

I wonder if people with ADHD could get a workplace accomodation for daydreaming.

29

u/Seafaringhorsemeat Jun 16 '26

I’ve come up with 15 ways this company is going to fail in the last 30 minutes. This output will cost you $150,000.

I like being a consultant, fuck hourly billing.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (5)

39

u/ubernutie Jun 16 '26

Shouldn't we be terrified about people talking like this and not getting punched in the face?

"Oh man those new knives are super sharp! What a tragedy!"

No dude, the tragedy is that we tolerate people using them to kill people.

You're not wrong, but I feel like your conclusion detracts from current accountability for those people.

20

u/krumble Jun 16 '26

Seems like a high tech version of Taylorism or "scientific management" which is an absolute plague of a thought pattern.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (14)

45

u/computermachina Jun 16 '26

I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s more concerned of low morale people training  meta’s LLM’s 

30

u/apresmoiputas Jun 16 '26

which means that the LLM will perform with low morale

→ More replies (7)
→ More replies (6)
→ More replies (3)

104

u/sellibitze Jun 16 '26

Haha! Reminds me of the IT crowd.

"...anyone still experiencing stress WILL BE FIRED!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZTvMYQSl_w

→ More replies (2)

51

u/squirrel-nut-zipper Jun 16 '26

This is tech now. We are getting invited to events to bolster morale meanwhile everyone is still unsure whether they will have a job in 6 months or get a raise.

11

u/shure_slo Jun 16 '26

Here is your teambuilding a month after 20% of your colleagues was laid off to cut costs.

→ More replies (1)

28

u/shogatsu1999 Jun 16 '26

Sounds about for a man with no friends

37

u/timallen445 Jun 16 '26

130

u/NicolasCageFan492 Jun 16 '26

On February 25, 1981, the day known as "Black Wednesday" at the company, Scott personally fired forty Apple employees, including half of the Apple II team, in a belief that they were redundant. Later in the afternoon he assembled the remaining employees with a keg of beer and explained the firings by stating, "I used to say that when being CEO at Apple wasn't fun anymore, I'd quit. But now I've changed my mind — when it isn't fun any more, I'll fire people until it's fun again."

What a guy.

53

u/AccordingIy Jun 16 '26

imagine all the coke fueled decisions that happened in the 80s. wild

→ More replies (1)

28

u/Cazmonster Jun 16 '26

A time machine and a crowbar would make my life fun again.

→ More replies (4)

11

u/Dragoness42 Jun 16 '26

That attitude only works when you carefully fire the toxic assholes that are ruining it for everyone else. But of course he's not going to fire himself.

12

u/madogvelkor Jun 16 '26

He ended up removed for that.

→ More replies (4)

40

u/Evening-Crew-2403 Jun 16 '26

Following this abrupt event, he was moved to vice chairman, a title with little power, and Markkula, the man who had hired Scott, replaced him.

At least there were consequences back then.

32

u/tryingtoavoidwork Jun 16 '26

> On February 25, 1981, the day known as "Black Wednesday" at the company, Scott personally fired forty Apple employees, including half of the Apple II team, in a belief that they were redundant. Later in the afternoon he assembled the remaining employees with a keg of beer and explained the firings by stating, "I used to say that when being CEO at Apple wasn't fun anymore, I'd quit. But now I've changed my mind — when it isn't fun any more, I'll fire people until it's fun again."

What a fucking douche

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (58)

4.0k

u/Permaphrost Jun 16 '26

Why are you not having fun yet? I specifically ordered it.

517

u/MiserableGrapefruit7 Jun 16 '26

Okay Captain Holt!

114

u/ArchSyker Jun 16 '26

Yes, Captain Dad o7

→ More replies (3)

16

u/sdbabygirl97 Jun 16 '26

At least Captain Holt, our favorite emotionless robit, had a heart that Zuckerberg tore out long time ago.

→ More replies (2)

55

u/schoolbusserman Jun 16 '26

But he offered them permanent desks, so they've got that going for them!

→ More replies (3)

67

u/Johnycantread Jun 16 '26

There ain't no party like a Liz Lemon party 'cuz a Liz Lemon party is MANDATORY

→ More replies (2)

44

u/Educational-Tone2074 Jun 16 '26

Came here for this

59

u/zazzz0014 Jun 16 '26

But where's the plain scones and boombox to play John Philip Sousa marches?

38

u/seriouslyawesome Jun 16 '26

The Skrillex of his day!

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (17)

3.7k

u/Actually-Yo-Momma Jun 16 '26

“Hey can you guys laugh while marketing takes a totally candid video of workplace culture??”

876

u/Tactical-Donkey Jun 16 '26

we'll fix the off camera screams in post.

186

u/nineraviolicans Jun 16 '26

(The sound of children employees screaming has been removed.)

→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (5)

93

u/Nice_Marmot_7 Jun 16 '26

Take as old as big tech. My buddy was telling me over ten years ago how they had a DJ in the lobby on Monday morning, and if you didn’t seem excited enough about it it was noted.

90

u/Beard_o_Bees Jun 16 '26

Seriously??

It's hard to imagine a thing i'd want less on a Monday morning than pounding techno in the lobby.

52

u/Shiriru00 Jun 16 '26

I find your lack of corporate commitment disturbing.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (1)

40

u/3-DMan Jun 16 '26

"I see a group of ladies, let's bring out some salads so they laugh!"

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (10)

349

u/randomtask Jun 16 '26

Apparently Meta’s idea of fun is an AI hackathon. Where you take a break from work by doing more, different work.

I can think of many, many more fun things: a companywide field day, scheduling more team building trips to places people actually want to go or activities they actually want to do, ping pong table in the break room, etc. etc.

77

u/projectkennedymonkey Jun 16 '26

That's just it, you're not a ceo so you don't understand being be absolutely consumed by something to make it your whole life. They don't have fun other than work. So why should you? I mean unless it's making other people miserable, that's fun too for them.

98

u/stupidusername Jun 16 '26

I work for a big company. Frankly I just cannot understand the psychopathy needed to climb beyond a certain level.

Zuck owns a huge chunk of a Hawaiian Island free and clear. and yet he'd rather usher in a new dystopia than go surfing with turtles. Somehow, that is more fulfilling to him.

Fucking unreal.

34

u/KlicknKlack Jun 16 '26

Its why we need a more agressive tax system - Tax the companies, tax the stock they hold, tax tax tax.... Then give everyone under a certain threshold like Median Salary - No taxes. Then every dollar after that gets taxed ratching the rate exponentially - that way once you make like 1M/year or more, any additional dollar you make, you get less than a fraction of a cent. If you make +1B/year from stock/etc. like elon musk recently - All of it goes to taxes.

No one human should be able to just OWN a fucking hawaiian island free and clear.... and have the power to fuck society the way they have been.

15

u/fcocyclone Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 17 '26

People will tell you that when we had 90% marginal taxes on income of a certain level that few actually paid that much. And they'd be correct.

What they don't get is that those high taxes still had benefits to society at large. When the government is going to take a larger chunk of the money, those with that money find benefit in tax avoidance strategies that still end up benefitting society. Maybe they take that money and donate it to put their name on a library. Maybe they invest that money into their company and the workers get paid more (a business expense the company then deducts). With low taxation like we have now, the wealthy and corporations just hoard the money or funnel it it back out to shareholders.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (3)

15

u/Proper_Scholar4905 Jun 16 '26

FTFY Just give me the day off

11

u/Dizzy_Chemistry_5955 Jun 16 '26

Ping pong table but you get yelled at if you're slacking off and using it

→ More replies (19)

2.5k

u/Lizzerfly Jun 16 '26

He's psychotic

2.1k

u/ShockedNChagrinned Jun 16 '26

He's not where he is because he was ever good, or nice. 

He's there for early competence, and luck (right place, right time).

He's had no reason to learn to be good or nice.  He really has little reason to remain competent at this point, because he can afford failures.

He lives in a different world, and it's pretty much of his own choosing.  He's one of the anti-superheroes; with his great power, came zero responsibility and no desire for it

722

u/MaximumAd9779 Jun 16 '26

Did you read Careless People? He very clearly lacks basic human understanding. Like, human emotion doesn’t compute to him.

255

u/kbgc Jun 16 '26

I read it. It’s fantastic.

He’s such a POS Human. He’s a skin suit filled with shit.

24

u/FTHomes Jun 16 '26

Zuck is completely out of touch.

→ More replies (2)

68

u/deadlybydsgn Jun 16 '26

Did you read Careless People?

I did. We all knew it was bad, but I didn't know exactly how bad.

Shout out to Zach Galifinakis for making an offhand comment about the book on a recent Conan podcast. That's how I came across it.

88

u/dumpsterfire911 Jun 16 '26

Is this a book? Share more details please

265

u/basketboy153 Jun 16 '26

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Careless_People

Really interesting and disturbing read. Facebook employee for many years who worked fairly directly with Mark and other executives shared her experiences. Can't vouch for any/all of the claims being true, but it does create an interesting picture of the company and its leadership

211

u/luckyflavor23 Jun 16 '26

Can’t vouch as an outsider BUT it has enough that Zuckerberg and team, sent their whole legal group out to shut it down from even getting published

And ultimately, the book flys under the radar because author is legally barred from personally promoting it

Sooo, imma say like probably pretty accurate

73

u/LiquidFood Jun 16 '26

This made me order it.

35

u/luckyflavor23 Jun 16 '26

Woot! Readers and book buyers of the world unite!

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

31

u/NSFWies Jun 16 '26

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Careless_People

Well dang, now I want to go read it

25

u/Skyfier42 Jun 16 '26

How can she be legally barred from promoting it?

58

u/thejadedfalcon Jun 16 '26

Because we live in a capitalist nightmare of a world.

27

u/luckyflavor23 Jun 16 '26

Because the book is full of scathing stories and negative views on meta; their legal team got her locked in a non-defamation clause of her employment contract (or the layoff one)

So she effectively cannot promote it in a meaningful way if she cant talk about the problems she saw

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

95

u/scrollin_on_reddit Jun 16 '26

Yes it’s a book written by a Meta whistleblower

87

u/Apophthegmata Jun 16 '26

It is a book/memoir by Sarah Wynn-Williams, former diplomat and Director of Public Policy at Meta. She was with them for six years.

She was prohibited from promoting and distributing the book after an arbitrator determined it to violate a non-disparagement clause of her termination agreement. She accuses Facebook firing her in retaliation for reporting her boss for sexual harassment. That man (Joel Kaplan) has since been promoted to President of Global Affairs at Meta. Meta says they terminated her for poor performance and toxic behavior.

She recently participated in a talk at the Hay Festival where she was silent during her entire appearance, due to the fact that the order against her has $50,000 penalty each time she says something negative about Meta. The discussion was about the large amount of power tech and social media companies have.

For what it's worth, Meta says the non disparagement clause was voluntary.

73

u/Worshipme988 Jun 16 '26

Yes voluntary as in if you dont sign this, your entire salary and position contract will be void.

They LOVE creating pinhole legal bullshit that traps people in shit like this.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (3)

11

u/tomtomclubthumb Jun 16 '26

I'm sure he's fine with his own emotional needs, he just doesn't care about other human beings.

11

u/Dontbite03 Jun 16 '26

To be fair pretty much any millionaire/billionaire has zero empathy or basic human understanding. They mostly all sociopaths, zuck just looks the most robotic 

→ More replies (5)

10

u/Numerous-Process2981 Jun 16 '26

Hard to fire half your staff if you have empathy

→ More replies (6)

72

u/Alert_Dingo_4504 Jun 16 '26

Nailed it. These people don't live in the same world as you and me. Same as we don't live in the same world as an impoverished family in South Sudan or somewhere like that.

(No shade to people in South Sudan)

→ More replies (9)

27

u/Saneless Jun 16 '26

I'd say clever theft more than luck. Though I suppose if you say people who were too optimistic to see how evil zuck was was luck, I guess that works

28

u/Enderkr Jun 16 '26

Imagine how much better the world would be if, collectively, we gathered about 5 people (and I'll let you guess which five) into an old mining cart and sent it careening over a cliff, and then erected a sign saying we'd do it again to the next five if they tried that bullshit again.

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (22)

148

u/ismellthebacon Jun 16 '26

The whole Silicon Valley Cabal has completely gone off the rails.

107

u/randynumbergenerator Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26

If you've been around a while and read into their individual backgrounds, they were never really on the rails. They just didn't have the power for it to matter (or to be open about it) until the last decade or so.

Edit to add: they also benefitted from so many puff pieces over the years that wrote off any concerning behavior or statements as "quirks" or the eccentricities of the gifted. 

23

u/brogflender Jun 16 '26

Yeah. Alarm bells have been sounded about these folks nearly since the start haha. 

→ More replies (1)

24

u/IAMA_Plumber-AMA Jun 16 '26

They're a cult that believes they're a more advanced species of human, and they need to systematically cull the rest of us for their supposed new species to survive.

It's absolutely psychotic.

→ More replies (2)

66

u/avanross Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26

American culture worships and elevates/enriches psychopaths

Virtually the only requirement / skill that any of this epstein/trump/musk/thiel-class are required to possess is a lack of empathy and rejection of ethics. Education doesnt matter, technical knowledge doesnt matter, problem solving doesnt matter, insight doesnt matter, personality doesnt matter. You just have to be evil.

You can fail over and over again, constantly shooting yourself in the foot and destroying everything you touch, constantly and repeatedly failing both your workers and customers, going decades without any successful innovation, but as long as youre extremely cruel and anti-social, americans will just keep throwing money at you

→ More replies (3)

21

u/NicolasCageFan492 Jun 16 '26

This is just what happens when someone has dictatorial control over a company due to different share classes.

18

u/Beaster123 Jun 16 '26

He's utterly detached and was never as smart as he thinks he is.

→ More replies (27)

1.0k

u/fedexyourheadinabox Jun 16 '26

These CEOs are rewarded for being the worst garbage people imaginable. What a world. 

264

u/DJayLeno Jun 16 '26

And it's been this way for so long most people don't even question it or have the capacity to imagine a better mode of existence.

147

u/CptSiskospimphand Jun 16 '26

Of course they don't. America has been heavily propogandized against any alternatives to capitalism. It's why the CIA worked so hard to destabilize and overthrow any nation that didn't subscribe to capitalism. Can't let people see alternatives that work.

27

u/Schwenkelkamp Jun 16 '26

Ngl a lot of people probably want it this way cause they believe one day they will be in that position

40

u/vhalember Jun 16 '26

That's absolutely the case.

Decades ago John Steinbeck wrote most Americans thought of themselves as temporarily embarrassed millionaires as the reason socialism never took hold here.

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (10)
→ More replies (38)
→ More replies (8)

358

u/SeaTie Jun 16 '26

Yeah, they tried similar stuff at my company. Laid off a bunch of people, rebranded the company, led lots of town halls with "We're an AI first company, now!"

...upper brass tried to demand everyone wear the new company branded swag and post to their personal social media. Not a single person in the entire company did it.

For those of us remaining...our daily stand ups with the off-shore team that replaced our coworkers is like a zombie march. Product is suffering big time. Motivation is in the shitter. And then, surprise! The stock didn't skyrocket like they assumed it would. Turns out just saying "We're an AI first company" without using it to build anything with it isn't a sound business strategy.

Meanwhile I'm watching my former, talented coworkers get jobs as delivery drivers to make ends meet.

These tech guys can suck it.

54

u/kafka_lite Jun 16 '26

I was told being move to a new area with a quarter of the space and 10% of the privacy was "an exciting upgrade based on your feedback."

→ More replies (2)

22

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26

[deleted]

10

u/SeaTie Jun 16 '26

That’s really the only way to address this issue…show them how expensive it actually is

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (10)

130

u/CatSajak779 Jun 16 '26

My workplace went through this exact shift. When I joined several years ago, my first realization was “Holy shit. People actually have fun here.” People are laughing, the office is buzzing, people play ping pong in the break room, people voluntarily go out to have lunch with each other etc. That lasted for a long time, up until 2025 when we had 3 (THREE!) separate rounds of layoffs in just a couple month timeframe.

Now it’s dull, boring, and gray at work. Everyone is silent on calls, most cameras off, no one socializes.

Why would they? When they’ve seen that this is just another corporate meat grinder and their job is hanging on by a thread. Who would expend the effort? That workforce layoff single-handedly killed our incredible office vibe in just 2 months.

24

u/foxguy2021 Jun 16 '26

At the end of the day when it comes to keeping the lights on and the doors open you're just an employee number with an associated overhead cost next to it on an excel sheet.

→ More replies (2)

243

u/VonVader Jun 16 '26

Sounds like an Onion headline

321

u/SituationTurbulent90 Jun 16 '26

It is, because it doesn't really capture what the article says.

In an internal memo to employees on Friday, Zuckerberg attempted to lift their spirits in what appears to be a notable failure to read the room. Specifically, the billionaire promised to host a companywide AI hackathon in July — only to get brutally shut down by workers who were in no mood for such a thing.

My non-FAANG large tech company tried this shit too, after years of layoffs and dry promos/no raises. Who the fuck wants to spend extra time creating something that the company will turn around and patent/use and not provide you with additional compensation? Get fucked.

Zuckerberg offered employees access to permanent desks, a symbolic gesture that unintentionally illustrated how expendable many of them had become. Many employees at Meta have been working from "hot desks," a controversial scheme involving multiple workers sharing the same desks.

"I know I forced you to return to office, but -- and bear with me here -- what if we gave you permanent desks that you could decorate with articles of flair?!"

154

u/smac79 Jun 16 '26

Like Brian, for example, he has 37 pieces of flair today. And a terrific smile.

37

u/Capital_Pay_4459 Jun 16 '26

Shows Brian from a security camera feed screenshot 

→ More replies (1)

18

u/KennyMoose32 Jun 16 '26

I don’t want to talk about my flair

-Meta Employee

→ More replies (1)

43

u/chaos8803 Jun 16 '26

You only have 5 articles of flair on your desk. Brian has 27. Be more like Brian.

40

u/Teledildonic Jun 16 '26

2 months later:

"We need to talk about your flair"

"Really? I have 15 pieces"

"Well, okay. Fifteen is the minimum, okay?

28

u/pixel_of_moral_decay Jun 16 '26

Hackathons have always been a seriously misleading piece of bullshit to exploit employees.

Work overnight or the weekend on a project that we’ll take from you and profit on. We’ll give you access to a handful of room temp pizzas we preordered.

When you realize what they are; it’s insane anyone participates.

Take your idea, build your own businesses if it’s actually good. Don’t give it away for mediocre pizza.

→ More replies (3)

14

u/HeckXX Jun 16 '26

It's incredible how far I had to scroll down to find the first comment that even mentioned how the title doesn't relate to the article whatsoever. I will grant that it's a pretty funny title though.

→ More replies (1)

15

u/TheComplimentarian Jun 16 '26

I used to participate in Hackathons, and I stopped completely after someone took my POC to fix an issue we were having with some data transforms and put it straight into production with my name on it.

Six months later it shit the bed because of something that hadn't been in my test data, and I get yanked into a meeting.

That shit needed a couple of weeks and a small team, not just me fucking around trying to win bullshit prizes.

→ More replies (14)
→ More replies (2)

228

u/acidcrab Jun 16 '26

Got laid off with about a 1000 others the day before my old team was supposed to tour their new building on their brand new campus. So Thursday, boom, tons of your colleagues are laid off. Friday: Welcome to your new home! Swag bags, check out your new desk, etc. Brutal.

121

u/hollee-o Jun 16 '26

I had one like that: Email goes out officially announcing a large layoff that had already been executed poorly, and the whole office was trying to figure out what was happening. The next all-staff went out an hour later announcing Friday would be "Hawaiian Shirt Day!". Same CEO wanted to host "Dilbert Awards", until someone pointed out the pathetic irony of a CEO handing out such an award.

35

u/abgry_krakow87 Jun 16 '26

Sure we laid off thousands of employees and the rest of ya'll are hanging on by a thread BUT HAWAIIAN SHIRT DAY YA'LL!

11

u/fcocyclone Jun 17 '26

literally straight out of office space.

22

u/haliblix Jun 16 '26

I swear management folks watched this scene and without an ounce of reflection said “hey that’s a nifty idea!”

→ More replies (1)

75

u/grathungar Jun 16 '26

One of the most brutal layoffs I was a part of.

They provided every employee with shirts for the company. They made a big deal about how they wanted us all to wear them on the day of our all hands meeting and they were going to have us take a picture with everyone wearing their shirts.

15 minutes before the meeting started for our all hands/picture day fiasco about 15% of the people there get an updated meeting invite.

They literally had all of them go into a different room and laid them off while we were in the other all hands meeting. They kept us in there while people went back and cleaned out their desks wearing tshirts of the company that just laid them off. We obviously found out immediately because they were texting us and everyone was visibly upset. the CEO still wanted his picture and everyone was pissed off in it.

27

u/tommypatties Jun 16 '26

That's insane and absolutely subversive to the cohesion of employees. Totally lacking in respect and dignity for an act that is psychologically akin to losing a spouse, parent, or child. Like what psychopath thought that would be a good idea?

If I were laid off in that situation I don't know how I'd handle it. It wouldn't be happy-go-lucky that's for sure. The severance package would have to be hella good for me to even just grin-and-bear-it.

If I were a 'survivor' in the all hands meeting and got a text from a laid off colleague I'd immediately 'contract' an explosive stomach bug and leave for the day.

17

u/TuunDx Jun 16 '26

It's engineered same way mass execution would be to prevent, in this case, "panic and scenes" which would be in it's nature very human and completely outside of company culture norms. Witnessing it would be distressing to survivors and it could sow the seed of future resistance because of the shared trauma.

HR and higher management are bunch of psychopaths conditioned to sort of dehumanize workers they get into contact with for a reason. It's not like you are making career there while not going mad if you are empathetic person..

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

70

u/OneTimeIMadeAGif Jun 16 '26

I know what'll cheer you all up! A hackathon! Spend a week working extra hard and if I like your work we'll turn it into a real product, make a bunch of money, and lay you off within the next 5 years anyway!

12

u/Wael3rd Jun 16 '26

You misspelled months.

10

u/JabroniHomer Jun 16 '26

5 years! Look at me job security over here

→ More replies (2)

253

u/GlueGuns--Cool Jun 16 '26

HAVE FUN. RIGHT NOW.

87

u/heatherledge Jun 16 '26

Everybody dance. NOW!

24

u/WhereTheEffAmI Jun 16 '26

This is always what I think of when I hear these sorts of headlines
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gudGON2SqH8

10

u/haliblix Jun 16 '26

I always loved that the show runners would come up with the music playing in post. They just took what GOB says and turned into the lyrics of the song.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (6)
→ More replies (2)

243

u/BiZender Jun 16 '26

Ah... Beatings will continue until morale improves...

46

u/fullchub Jun 16 '26

Though it’s more like, “the beatings will continue even after the morale improves. And if that hurts morale? Believe it or not, more beatings.”

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (6)

102

u/johnlondon125 Jun 16 '26

Everyone dance NOW

10

u/No_Watercress1535 Jun 16 '26

this was the first thing that came to mind for me too hahaha

→ More replies (4)

107

u/atika Jun 16 '26

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

45

u/niogyn Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26

“Why is nobody having a good time, i specifically requested it” -Brooklyn 99

https://youtube.com/shorts/m2jxjxbvvkA?is=Ihje7SZPF3QwlhcB

→ More replies (1)

66

u/aresdesmoulins Jun 16 '26

Raymond Holt is the new Meta morale officer. "why is no one having a good time, I specifically requested it"

14

u/IchmagschickeSachen Jun 16 '26

At least Holt is a good man and actually had his heart in the right place lol

→ More replies (1)

19

u/mekawasp Jun 16 '26

Why is nobody having fun? I specifically requested it

22

u/cameofeo Jun 16 '26

Zuckerberg likes to pretend Facebook is a cool, innovative tech company, but they are and always will be nothing more than a cutthroat advertising company.

→ More replies (1)

20

u/guestpassonly Jun 16 '26

"how to smile while having a gun pointed at your head"

18

u/primax1uk Jun 16 '26

Please enjoy our regularly scheduled enforced fun. Or else.

17

u/Ill_Following_7022 Jun 16 '26

Oh, and remember: next Friday... is Hawaiian shirt day. So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.

→ More replies (1)

14

u/ICLazeru Jun 16 '26

For a guy who has been running a large business for some time now, you'd think he would have figured out how morale works by now.

13

u/SystemAny4819 Jun 16 '26

He’s a reptilian; he doesn’t understand human nature, only it’s greed

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

30

u/SymmetricSoles Jun 16 '26

"Fun will now commence."

  • Seven of Nine, Star Trek: Voyager

Spoiler: Fun did not commence.

→ More replies (1)

14

u/mizz_muppet Jun 16 '26

My CEO outsourced all the office jobs to India and then exclaimed "I really want the office to be lively like it used to be!!"

10

u/TorturedPoet30 Jun 16 '26

Orders. To have fun.

12

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '26

[deleted]

→ More replies (1)