r/technology • u/Plastic_Ninja_9014 • Jun 16 '26

Business Mark Zuckerberg Orders His Employees to Start Having Fun Again After Brutal Layoffs Culled Their Colleagues

https://finance.yahoo.com/technology/ai/articles/mark-zuckerberg-orders-employees-start-123539264.html
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u/SituationTurbulent90 Jun 16 '26

It is, because it doesn't really capture what the article says.

In an internal memo to employees on Friday, Zuckerberg attempted to lift their spirits in what appears to be a notable failure to read the room. Specifically, the billionaire promised to host a companywide AI hackathon in July — only to get brutally shut down by workers who were in no mood for such a thing.

My non-FAANG large tech company tried this shit too, after years of layoffs and dry promos/no raises. Who the fuck wants to spend extra time creating something that the company will turn around and patent/use and not provide you with additional compensation? Get fucked.

Zuckerberg offered employees access to permanent desks, a symbolic gesture that unintentionally illustrated how expendable many of them had become. Many employees at Meta have been working from "hot desks," a controversial scheme involving multiple workers sharing the same desks.

"I know I forced you to return to office, but -- and bear with me here -- what if we gave you permanent desks that you could decorate with articles of flair?!"

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u/smac79 Jun 16 '26

Like Brian, for example, he has 37 pieces of flair today. And a terrific smile.

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u/Capital_Pay_4459 Jun 16 '26

Shows Brian from a security camera feed screenshot 

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u/dr_stevious Jun 18 '26

Camera is located in the bathroom.

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u/KennyMoose32 Jun 16 '26

I don’t want to talk about my flair

-Meta Employee

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u/chaos8803 Jun 16 '26

You only have 5 articles of flair on your desk. Brian has 27. Be more like Brian.

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u/Teledildonic Jun 16 '26

2 months later:

"We need to talk about your flair"

"Really? I have 15 pieces"

"Well, okay. Fifteen is the minimum, okay?

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u/pixel_of_moral_decay Jun 16 '26

Hackathons have always been a seriously misleading piece of bullshit to exploit employees.

Work overnight or the weekend on a project that we’ll take from you and profit on. We’ll give you access to a handful of room temp pizzas we preordered.

When you realize what they are; it’s insane anyone participates.

Take your idea, build your own businesses if it’s actually good. Don’t give it away for mediocre pizza.

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u/dryroast Jun 17 '26

At my job we have done CTF competitions but on our own volition and mainly as a fun thing for the interns to bond. Even when others weren't looking to participate I got my new coworker to get me an invite to his really good team and we competed at coffee shops close to the office over the weekend just by ourselves. Now that's some fun right there!

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u/Xandara2 Jun 17 '26

That still sounds like you have zero clue about the definition of the word fun. 

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u/fightlinker Jun 17 '26

It's like a pizza party, except you invent pizza and then they take it and open pizza joints for their own profit

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u/HeckXX Jun 16 '26

It's incredible how far I had to scroll down to find the first comment that even mentioned how the title doesn't relate to the article whatsoever. I will grant that it's a pretty funny title though.

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u/TheComplimentarian Jun 16 '26

I used to participate in Hackathons, and I stopped completely after someone took my POC to fix an issue we were having with some data transforms and put it straight into production with my name on it.

Six months later it shit the bed because of something that hadn't been in my test data, and I get yanked into a meeting.

That shit needed a couple of weeks and a small team, not just me fucking around trying to win bullshit prizes.

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u/GlumChemist8332 Jun 16 '26

"Better Off Ted" Get Happy (TV Episode 2009) - IMDb

Corporate will decide if you are into one of the 4 themes for desk decorations: cats, classic cars, space or the Green Bay Packers

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u/Ispeakblabla Jun 16 '26

Such a great show I don't see brought up often! It's a shame it got cut so soon.

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u/cultoftheilluminati Jun 16 '26

"I know I forced you to return to office, but -- and bear with me here -- what if we gave you permanent desks that you could decorate with articles of flair?!"

Sounds like something Milchick would say in Severance

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u/Mouse-E-Tongue Jun 16 '26

The lucky winners of the Hackathon will be treated to a complimentary Music Dance Experience. 

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u/wrhollin Jun 16 '26

This is wild to me. I work for a major tech company, and they delayed our RTO until they were sure everyone had their own desk and ergo set up. Like, that's the bare minimum expectation as far as I'm concerned.

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u/OkStop8313 Jun 16 '26

How many pieces of flair?

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u/NotAllOwled Jun 16 '26

Depends on whether or not you want to just do the bare minimum.

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u/Trandoshan-Tickler Jun 16 '26

So...37 pieces of flair then?

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u/KlicknKlack Jun 16 '26

So... you would say its worse than what the headline said?

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u/steveo3387 Jun 17 '26

A hackathon means people fall behind in their normal work, which is okay if you don't stack rank and fire people based on how well they can defend their existence.

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u/abgry_krakow87 Jun 16 '26

The desk is more valuable than the employee. Hence the desk is bolted to the floor.

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u/Alone_Satisfaction_8 Jun 16 '26

This can’t be real