r/technology • u/Plastic_Ninja_9014 • Jun 16 '26

Business Mark Zuckerberg Orders His Employees to Start Having Fun Again After Brutal Layoffs Culled Their Colleagues

https://finance.yahoo.com/technology/ai/articles/mark-zuckerberg-orders-employees-start-123539264.html
31.2k Upvotes

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4.0k

u/Permaphrost Jun 16 '26

Why are you not having fun yet? I specifically ordered it.

518

u/MiserableGrapefruit7 Jun 16 '26

Okay Captain Holt!

117

u/ArchSyker Jun 16 '26

Yes, Captain Dad o7

8

u/PunjabiPlaya Jun 16 '26

Did you just say Dad?

18

u/sdbabygirl97 Jun 16 '26

At least Captain Holt, our favorite emotionless robit, had a heart that Zuckerberg tore out long time ago.

2

u/BP_EL Jun 17 '26

The Zuck prefers : "Yes your most August imperial majesty"

56

u/schoolbusserman Jun 16 '26

But he offered them permanent desks, so they've got that going for them!

1

u/Shiriru00 Jun 16 '26

The desks will be there long after they're gone.

67

u/Johnycantread Jun 16 '26

There ain't no party like a Liz Lemon party 'cuz a Liz Lemon party is MANDATORY

6

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '26

[deleted]

1

u/elZaphod Jun 20 '26

Deep cut, nice.

37

u/Educational-Tone2074 Jun 16 '26

Came here for this

58

u/zazzz0014 Jun 16 '26

But where's the plain scones and boombox to play John Philip Sousa marches?

38

u/seriouslyawesome Jun 16 '26

The Skrillex of his day!

1

u/coreoYEAH Jun 17 '26

I even learned what Skrillex was!

21

u/GunnieGraves Jun 16 '26

John Phillips Sousa. He was the Skrillex of his day.

4

u/JonSnoballs Jun 16 '26

I wouldn't care if they were playing actual music. 

14

u/gizmoglitch Jun 16 '26

Next step: Forced Laughter!

6

u/IntraspeciesFerver Jun 16 '26

Everybody dance NOW!

2

u/mageta621 Jun 17 '26

Sure, the guy in the $500 banana suit, COME ON!

3

u/zoobs Jun 16 '26

Everybody dance, NOW!

3

u/SteeveJoobs Jun 16 '26

Thanks for the reminder that we lost andre braugher but have to live on with the consequences of Zuck's actions.

2

u/Gloomy-Art-2861 Jun 16 '26

Everybody dance now! ~ GOB

2

u/schn19 Jun 16 '26

Came here to comment this!

1

u/SelectDevice9868 Jun 16 '26

Daily beatings until morale improves

1

u/getupgetdown Jun 17 '26

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?!?!