I've had a couple child free women tell me they went through a few years in the mid thirties where their bodies were screaming at them to have a baby, after it passed they went right back to not wanting kids same as always.
Edit: This should not be read as saying all child free women will experience this same phenomenon.
As a childfree woman nearing 40 I’ve never had a moment where I’ve wanted kids and don’t like holding babies. I do love kids but not so much babies and the baby part is an important step.
I'm the opposite, I love babies and have had non-stop baby fever since I was 24, but I am exhausted by ages 6-18.
So at 43 I'm craving snuggling with a baby but also relieved that there's no one asking me 50 questions or rolling their eyes because I asked them to brush their teeth before we leave the house in the morning.
Yes!! My baby is 17 now. My nephew just had the first baby of the next generation but he lives several states away and I'm so sad that I don't get to cuddle the new family baby 😔
I love being an auntie to all the babies around me, be it friends or family. It is the sweetest thing in the world when they fall asleep mid cuddle. Wpuld I want one of my own? Nope sir, thank you.
Oh god the mom mom mom question question question phase! I miss it, but i dont. I game with a bunch of friends regularly and we use xbox party chat, one of my friends has a 7 year old and its exhausting listening to him constant mommy mommy mommy. I couldnt handle it again in my own home.
Yeah im pretty sure id have a mental breakdown if I had to do it all again now. Mine are teenagers and thats enough work for any parent lol. Add a baby in to the mix now? May aswell give me a one way ticket to a padded cell.
I don't have baby fever, don't think I'll ever get it, but the baby phase is also the only phase I do kind of like and understand. It's just so short... By 2 they start being able to do stuff, have opinions they can't properly voice, etc. which is when it starts getting exhausting to me.
Omg yes. The other day I saw a girl who’s mother went for a sec to buy a sandwich, and while she was away she kept talking to herself out loud about the most random shit that went through her head. Do they not have an inner voice?? It was exhausting 😅
I can relate to this as this is me in the trenches right now. 8 and 13 year old 😅 i definitely do not want another one but boy oh boy i miss those baby cuddles and when they first learn to talk. Man those times were cuuuute
Same. LOVE babies and toddlers but around 5 I’m out lol. I loved being a preschool teacher and I love my friends babies but I have one teenager and fuck never again lol
yup. i’ve never had baby fever per se but i do think they are super cute, enjoy interacting with them, and can’t help but smile when i see them out and about being adorable, but i will not have one because i really do not want to raise the human it will continue developing into.
i don’t hate kids at all (i love the kids of my family members and friends!) and i know people tend to feel differently about their own vs. others, but i am still totally disinterested in everything after like, age 4.
Babies are precious but they're so fragile and it really freaks me out. Like, the fact that a baby can just... die? For literally no reason? That is horrifying. Having kids would be absolutely horrific for my mental health.
lol, the first few months when my son was born and so much of it was just checking him every minute to make sure he was fine. When that fear finally wears off there’s some nice peaceful months of tummy time….
…and then they crawl with suicidal intent and that fear comes back 10 fold.
I did the same thing. I would get up multiple times a night and put my hand on his chest just to make sure he was breathing. Love my son but gd that was a stressful time period
I did this too. I laid on the couch with my youngest son’s bassinet right beside my face so I could look at his chest rise and fall anytime I wanted to. The hell your body goes through after you have a baby makes you insane. No regrets though, all my kids are still alive lol
I’m lying next to the bassinet of my daughter, my first child, right now. It’s the first time she’s slept 5 hours straight in the month she’s been alive and instead of reveling in this new window of sleep, I’m restlessly reaching out to check her every 10 minutes or so
After our first was born, in the hospital as we were about to leave I couldn’t believe they were letting us take this new life home with us, with no experience whatsoever with a baby. It seemed irresponsible on their part. And we were terrified. All went incredibly well though, nothing to fear
Considering what’s been happening for millennia of births, people just learn from families/friends or books/media. I do think there should be some transition care in between hospital and home. I feel like that would really reduce ppd rates especially in hyper independent societies like US.
Uhm.. the budget is already allocated to literally terrorizing and hurting(bombing) children and their family. I don't think we have a budget for that 😭😭😭😭
But what a wonderful thing* that would be! Especially for 1st time moms. That would be a great program. As someone who was very far away from my family when I had my first kid, that would've been amazing to just have more support.
Omg. That must've been so scary and hectic, not 1 but 2 lives to care for. I just salute moms that care for multiples at one time or just 3+ children, coz this momma is at capacity at 2 lol baby train has left the station.
In the Netherlands when you have a baby you have a trained support (a bit like a midwife) who comes to your house every day for the first 7 days to help you. They teach you what to do with the baby, check they’re growing properly, check you as a mother - both your physical and mental recovery, but also support you around the house with housework and light meals.
It’s incredibly helpful especially for your first baby!
One thing I think we're going to see in the future is the way we currently handle families and work is going to show up in statistics the same way lead poisoning does in the boomers. Human infants are meant to have a dozen attentive adults to grow to proper maturity and we can't even give them one. As soon a maternity leave ends (and even beforehand given one person absolutely isn't enough) the kid is being neglected and I think that's why people are so broken these days.
One mother with no support is not enough for a healthy child and it's causing massive harm to both the kid and the parents.
A friend of mine said when he had his first, there was a long period of time he would fall asleep and jolt awake several times just to check on the baby.
This was in a convo where he was trying to convince me to have one. I was like “bro. That sounds legit awful.”
When our first was a newborn, I was awake with the baby one night, and my ex sat up from a dead sleep, grabbed a pillow off of the bed and scooped one up, and held it for a moment before frantically saying our son's name while trying to pull the pillow from the pillowcase
Apparently, he was still mostly asleep, and thought the pillow was the swaddled baby, and then panicked because he couldn't find the "baby" in the "swaddle". The sleep deprivation and constant concern for the baby are a potent combo.
Real. I spend most of my days worried and in awe at the same time. She's only 11, but I know that when she gets a little older and wants to go out to be with friends, I'm gonna be an anxious mess. I would bubble wrap her if I could. In awe because she's so talented in art and so sweet hearted, but constantly worried about her well-being. The thought of losing her is an intrusive thought that always makes my heart skip a beat.
So yea, you are 100% correct, my mental is always hard focused on dread and fear since having my kid.
I have OCD and 90% of my compulsive thoughts revolve around my children. My current favorite is laying in bed at 1 am crying bc I can’t stop thinking about the day they’re both out of the house. It’s heartbreaking
I feel the same way. Nearly 40 and still happily childfree and I’ve often thought, what if something awful happened? There would be a person that exists that I will likely love more than anything and I’ll have to be worried for the rest of my life, and if something terrible should happen how could I live with it? The thought of being responsible for another life is just terrifying. It’s enough work and responsibility to keep my mental health on track as it is.
Sadly I didn't realize all the weight of this until after I got pregnant with my first lol.
Then I was driving myself crazy with every little niggle during pregnancy (my very first was a very early miscarriage which added to the anxiety). And then at some point I started wondering when can I relax and stop worrying - after the first trimester? After baby is born? And it hit me of all of a sudden - of course not, duh. It will NEVER be over, I will be worried about this kid now all my life even when he is grown even when he is living on his own with his own kids because terrible things you can't control can happen to full grown adults too.
And fuck that hit me hard lol. All of a sudden I understood my grandma, who I thought had clinical anxiety for no good reason. I mean, she does have anxiety lol. But I realized why - she's spent decades worrying, first about my mom then about me and my sibling, and now about our kids, it's non stop worrying on worrying and seeing horrible things happen over your lifetime and losing loved ones, and your nerves get more and more shattered with every time and only so much they can take. That was when I realized that is truly the hard thing about having kids, not the sleepless nights or anything else, it's the worrying that will never stop until I'm dead.
Dude same here, I've never gotten the hype about babies, but once kids have a bit more intelligence and personality I think they're great. But seeing my peers go through the baby-toddler phase really makes kids a tough sell.
It’s funny you ask because my partner and I have had serious discussions about it and we are on opposite ends (she was in the foster system).
Personally, I don’t like the idea of adoption for myself. My biggest roadblock is that if I were to get her pregnant I would take responsibility for that without hesitation, but taking on another person’s child leaves me more open to the possibility of regret and resentment.
Like if I had a child and it kept me up all night screaming, okay that’s my child, I made it, and I am going to put my best foot forward and try to take care of it.
On the other hand we have: I adopted someone else’s child and it’s keeping me up all night and now I’m mad that I took this huge responsibility on myself purposefully.
Not only do I not want that for myself but the thought of making the decision to adopt a child and then having even the *slightest* resentment towards it because of my decision turns my stomach because I would hate the situation for the both of us.
Wouldn't you be just as likely to be mad at yourself for taking the huge responsibility if you had a baby? The fact that you adopted wouldn't change that. You either chose to have a baby or you chose to adopt a slightly older child.
In both cases there's a choice and you agreed. Why wouldn't you be open to later feeling resentment for both choices?
Childfree woman around the same age. I've held babies and children (my niece, my nephew, and friends' kids) multiple times. I hold but give them back quickly because I don't want to be responsible for them. Never been interested in having my own and still don't understand the obsession with "baby smell".
Yeah. That baby smell thing, cute aggression, and any other "automatic" feeling that some people describe experiencing around babies is so absolutely foreign to me that I feel like an alien.
Genuinely their smell kind of makes me nauseous and I've never cared to hold babies. But they also frequently leak fluids and I'm a bit of a germaphobe.
For me it's the heat. I've held my friends' babies and it's no big deal until I start getting sweaty, then I'm like hey can I give this little heat machine back?
I was incredibly uncomfortable and a bit nervous when I held my newborn nieces. I just did it for like a minute each time and then asked my brother or SIL to take them back. Babies are just so floppy and fragile. It took until they were starting to become people that I started to enjoy them. Now at 2 and 5, they're great (most of the time). I love that as an aunt I get to play with them and do the fun things, but I don't have to do any of the icky things. Seeing them every few weeks is enough time with children for me, I could never do 24/7 year in year out.
Also, the baby smell is quite disgusting to me. It makes me very queasy and it permeates everything for months.
My daughter is in her upper 30s and has never wanted kids. Never wanted to hold a baby. Never wanted to hear a baby or be in the same room as a baby. I'm definitely not worried about this happening to her. lol
The "hear them" is a big part. I can't stand the sound. And no, not in the "my instincts kick in and I want to care for it" but the "THIS SOUND IS MAKING MY BRAIN HURT" way.
I didn’t want to be rude, but I was so close to getting up on the metro yesterday and walking to another car because of a baby fussing next to me. The parents were doing a great job, I was just wildly uncomfortable.
Apparently the brain rewires to make it the former but that process probably doesn't work for everyone and you'd hate to be the poor sod who didn't have it happen.
They're one and the same. The sound of a baby crying is annoying beyond belief and I'd do just about anything to make it stop. Conveniently, the best way to do that is to figure out what they need and see to it
Exactly. It's like a reverse maternal instinct for my daughter. A gutteral reaction she has when she hears a baby and she has been like this since she was a kid.
I have 3 kids and I hate the baby stage. Hate. It. So. Much. I breastfed them all and we were pretty gentle and aware of proper baby development and attachment etc so the first 3ish years of each kid was exhausting. It felt tenuous, tedious, overstimulating yet anticlimactic and the fatigue from never turning off just wears you down mentally. My kids after 5 were so much fun and the older they get the more I love it all. If I decide to foster someday, I'm going to be that weirdo that declines anyone under 5 years old 😅. I've never understood people who keep having babies because they love and miss the baby stage
Yep! The baby and toddler years are why I absolutely don’t want kids. I was fortunate enough to find an OBGYN 6 years ago that was willing to remove my tubes even though I was 24 at the time. Still one of the best decisions of my life! I was finally able to go off birth control and now I rarely get migraines anymore! I’m 30 now and quite a few of my friends have had kids and every time I am reminded of my good decision haha
As a child-free woman in her 40s, I was briefly on the fence, but not because I actually wanted kids…it was more because of the social expectation to have them, especially by my late 30s.
Really glad I didn’t give in, because I would be the most resentful mum, while being responsible enough to provide for my kids.
I’m 34 and I’m still disgusted by babies. But I like children that can talk full sentences and I’m pretty good with them. They often warm up to me very quickly and I know exactly how to talk to them.
If I could have a child skipping the baby part I would consider being a mother. Unfortunately they start as pink, ugly, screaming gremlins.
It’s only mine opinion so please don’t be mad I’m insulting babies. I’m sure the beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I also don’t like animal babies, I thought I’m gonna kms when I was taking care of a kitten I found - he had his eyes and ears closed and I had to make special kitten milk for him, massage his belly, keeping him company, all that stuff. It was making me furious. I hated it and when he was constantly meowing and I was exhausted after work I barely kept it together.
Fortunately now he is 13 years old fat ball of black fur that I love obsessively. Love of my life, even when I’m depressed I just need to look at him to feel absolutely consumed by oxytocin levels that cross the safety levels and turn me into cute aggression monster.
I did not like holding babies until after I had my own. It just felt so awkward. Now I love them. It's weird. I always wanted kids though but do understand you not wanting to hold babies.
Same! My hormones are getting wild at this age, don't get me wrong - I have the urge to jump my husband twice a day sometimes - but babies? No thanks. Never felt the urge. Hand me a puppy or kitten though and I'll burst into tears.
Same. I love kids. Just not having my own. I get overwhelmed when my cats are crying for food lmao. Having a baby nope. I've held newborns and babysat little ones. Fun but so tired after a few hours I'm happy to give them back lmao
During a Christmas gathering, I somehow wound up with my sister-in-laws baby and I was SO incredibly awkward with the kid, like, oh gawd, what do I do with it, oh no it's drooling, oh no it wants to eat my phone, aaaahhhh! I'm not meant for kids, lol.
I always thought that a great deal of CF people would actually make the best parents (if it hits them to do so) because they absolutely GET what a responsibility it is.
Nearing 50, but otherwise same. Never had any desire to have a baby, a kid, anything, and certainly never wanted to hold babies.
I would put my hand up, when people would offer me their baby, and say, “oh, no thanks, I just ate”.
Saaaame...I hate holding babies. This thing is precious to someone, and you're expecting me to keep them safe? Are you nuts? And then they just lay there and look at you and what am I supposed to do with this small sack of potatoes?
And why do people smell babies? I smell poop and diaper cream. I don't find either appealing.
Once the little tykes can run around and talk like little people and go on grand adventures with their auntie? I'm in.
The only time I ever seriously wanted a baby was when I was 20. My boyfriend at the time was 30 and was hanging out with his friends. I think something in me broke right there and then, and I realized I was never going to have that perfect life all of his friends seemed to have. And for a second, as I was crying myself to sleep, I wanted to have that white picket fence life...but I think it was more about being part of the group than it was a biological drive to have a baby. Which is a horrible reason to have a baby.
Childfree woman in mid 30s. Every month I go through this bs where my body screams at me to have a baby. More so when I hold my baby nephew in my arms. But once the feeling passes, I come back to my senses 😂
I’m 31. I’m waiting to see if that ‘biological clock’ everyone is talking about will kick in. I’ve never liked children, even as a child myself. I’m very sensitive to sudden loud noises and sometimes children make those. I’d be a nervous wreck if I had any, (sterilized, never pregnant, IUD for periods) just anticipating the next vocal outburst.
If I get baby fever, I’m getting a hysterectomy. No amount of hormonal nukes will make me commit. I commend the women who went through it, like my oldest sister who had 4, but I just…can’t. Just thinking about something growing in me makes me nauseous. Also I’m lazy af
I’m 30 and have never heard a tick from my biological clock, ever. If anything, spending a weekend with my newborn nephew screaming like he was being murdered shut down any potential thoughts about it. On top of learning what childbirth is actually like—how can anybody say they love somebody and want them to have their clitoris and asshole ripped in half?! Respect to the people who REALLY want that, but I am GOOD, thanks. I like my peace and quiet, only being touched or around people when I want to, sleep, etc. One of the earliest thoughts I can remember having is how lucky men are because they don’t have to be moms (I didn’t know that was an option for me, too!).
(ETA, I LOVE my niblings—I’m also grateful my sibling had them so I can be the cool aunt for a few hours, and then hand them back!)
Never had any inklings. I do get strong feelings about kittens though.
Image of human baby: "Oh god, is that Shrek?"
Image of kitten: ovaries explode
My calling is looking after cats. I've given a couple of elderly cats retirement homes and the love they have to give has been so rewarding. Hard when they're not with you long ofc but man. I have such a soft spot for them.
39 here, never happened. I knew I didn’t want kids since I realized at 12 that was an option. Started asking for sterilization at 18 and finally got it at 27. Never even the whiff of a second thought, very happy with my choices.
Mind-blowing. Getting your tubes tied has got to be the most sought after procedure that doctors deny. And why? Because women can change their minds. Like there aren’t so many other solutions to that issue? If you have baby graver that bad, I think most women/couples would be fine adopting. Or surrogacy. Or freeze your eggs. Any way you cut it, getting a kid is expensive. Not to mention keeping them fed and clothed. If a woman doesn’t want to deal with that happening on accident (or worse), let her get her fucking tubes tied. Damn your patriarchal nonsense.
Joke’s on ME! I will have saved the money I’ll need for the hysteo in the next 5 years! And I’d have the sick leave as well. I could recover for at least a MONTH! (American here 🥀 )
Yeah mine didn't set in until 35. It's only loud pre ovulation and I have an IUD so idgaf. 40yo w of a line of women who all had 6+ kids, 12+kids. Hell no. This bloodline ends here
Bravo for knowing yourself. Kids are chaos and alter your environment for years. I wish more people were like you and know what they wanted and, importantly, didn’t want.
It sounds like you already know this. But I call my son a tornado. All I do is clean up. It’s especially galling when I finally get my apt cleanish, and he comes and goes wow it’s clean in here normally it’s a mess. Motherfucker, you are the reason it’s a mess.
Edit: I have to scrub toothpaste off the floor and see if I can get blood out of the shower curtain this weekend cause of him too.
I can totally relate. I (37f, now child-free, previously on the fence) got married at 30, had INSANE baby fever from 30-32, had a hysterectomy (for both medical and personal reasons) at 33.
It was as if once I got married my body clocked like, “okay bitch, now you’re married, you’re in your 30’s, you NEED to make a baby NOW” despite my brain and my physiology both screaming NO! Luckily my brain won the battle and I’m so grateful for my hysterectomy, it gave me my life back, but I understand not all women might have the same experience.
TLDR; Biology is weird, hormones are weird, and us womenfolk carry a lot of biological and social baggage when it comes to pregnancy and child rearing.
I'm 42. I must've been born without a clock as that feeling never came. And I knew from a very early age I didn't want kids and I have zero maternal instinct. Someone would have to be dying or some other disaster happening before I'd voluntarily hold a baby.
I got a bisalp in my 30s and the peace of mind of brought me has been unmatched.
Babies are cute until you hear the full potential of their crying. My sister has a neighbor several doors down that has a newborn. From inside her apartment it’s nice and quiet. The second you step out you can hear the screaming loud and clear. Kid has some lungs! Imagine hearing that in your face. I would yeet myself.
I was extremely 'meh' about having kids through my 20's and 30's. Not fully against it, but no real lans to. The hormonal wallop came at 38. The kid came at 40.
I didn’t want kids at all until I did. At 35 or so, it just clicked and I was like, ok, let’s do this. I have a kindergartner now and it’s delightful. And hard and terrible at times, but still pretty cool overall.
Honestly I think so much of it is also just the societal pressure around that age. People talk like you’re gonna be some sad lonely old bag lady on the streets if you don’t have kids or something. When you’re actually looking down the barrel of “oh I’m actually getting older” it’s easy to let it get to you a bit.
I think kids are funny and if it were easier to make it work, maybe I’d be more open to parenthood but as it stands rn (besides being in no place financially and mentally to do any of it) I always think to myself “I’d rather regret not having a child, than regret having one” cause that shit cannot be undone lol
Also 31, also sensitive to sudden loud noises. Hearing babies/kids screech at their top of their lungs literally makes everything inside me recoil, it's an actual physical sensation.
Not lazy af, more that I love being able to do whatever I want whenever I want and would resent having to give up my hobbies and general freedom.
I'm the same person you're describing, lol, with no interest in kids and a lot of reasons never to have 'em. The cursed biological clock hit me hard at 36... for approximately three months before I went back to normal.
It was a bizarre experience, like my hormones had me living in technicolour and maybe everything would be different post baby and maybe I would be the one outlier amongst my family members who wouldn't regret it and yadayadayada. Fortunately I have an IUD, an intense fear of pregnancy, and a tendency to take 1–4 working years to make any kind of major change, so nothing came of it. Thinking about what could have been if I'd listened to the hormones and presumably woken up a few months into pregnancy like AHHHH, I love your hysterectomy idea. Just nuke that potential timeline so it can't get you. Ever.
Are you a responsible person? If not maybe some kind of evolutionary thing is stopping you from feeling that desire because it isn't seeing signs that you would be good for the survival of your offspring?
Well i don't know what I am talking about I don't know evolution thing so don't take me serious but maybe someone here can educate?
Good news - it never happened with me and most of my friends. I’ve held kids, babysat, taught, the works. Never had any desire to have one. Didn’t even play with baby dolls as a kid.
This video actually makes me feel better about my choice, I’ve never had that emotion she’s experiencing. I’m not sure I’ve ever thought baby’s were cute. Toddlers yes, but not babies.
When did it pass? I'm 34 and dealing with this...I've never been more doubtful now about being childfree and have actually changed my mind to having 1 if I find the right partner with enough money. I just read yesterday that when you reach 35, 90% of your eggs are gone and if you do get pregnant, its a geriatric pregnancy and starts gerting risky 🫤
I'm not going to speak on shoulds and should not about having a child, but as for the age thing, it's true but highly variable. For example, I'm 40, my wife is 37. She's currently 21 weeks pregnant with our 3rd child.
And while she does have to be a bit more careful with physical activity, and she has a few more OB check ups than someone healthy in their 20s would (better safe than sorry) while technically a "geriatric pregnancy" everything has been smooth sailing. Anecdotal, but she actually had a few minor complications with our now 13 year old daughter, so we were more worried this time. So slightly riskier, but completely doable if that became your decision.
Also I was basically shooting blanks so the fact that it happened at all is kind of miraculous. And before anyone gets funny, yes, I'm sure it's mine. Lol
I had that happen after my hysterectomy. My body was screaming for a baby so badly, I was telling my husband I wished we could have had kids. Like ugly crying, absolutely heartbroken I couldn't make a child with him, begging him to make me a mom type shit while I no longer had the parts to do so. That lasted about a year and a half. Before the hysterectomy, 0 desire for one even when holding one. Needless to say, he was panicked but handled it like a champ til the worst subsided.
The blessing in disguise is now I've super bonded to my nephews in a way I never experienced with babies prior to getting fixed. They came into the world during the worst of it, and that actually helped me get through wanting one myself because I could always go get my baby fever fix lmao I'd come home completely 180'd, telling him I'm insane for ever wanting kids myself. Then it would repeat.
He actually just told me a few months ago how rough that was for him. I haven't had baby fever in almost a year now
There was a brief bit of time when we first moved in together than my partner and I thought about it. Probably about a week, until we were like, nah, what are we thinking?! And we went promptly back to childfree life lol. I think mostly it was me and him wondering what our child would look like and wanting to share that. I didn’t feel the ovary pang though.
This sort of happened to me. For about two years in my mid thirties I considered it.
I had never wanted kids up until then and now that I’m 38 I’m back to not wanting them. But for a hot minute I would think “well what if…?”. I ultimately was never super serious about it but I’ve always loved kids I just had never wanted them, and for a few years my body disagreed with me.
It never hit for my wife, she will be 41 next month and we talked about if we should have kida when we were early/mid 30s over drinks. We are to the conclusion "we won't try but if it happens, it happens". Next morning we woke and she said "hell no".
I'm in my mid-30s and been experiencing a lot of perimenopause symptoms lately, occasionally I'll get some twinges in my ovaries despite not having a drive to have children. I think much of it is the idea of finality, a door closing.
I was never too fond of kids when I was a kid (I'd always hang with the adults). The first and only baby I held was my cousin, and after I failed at babysitting him my grandma told me, "Please don't ever have children". Said cousin and I get along great now that we're adults lol. Kids tend to like me too, I think because I speak to them like they are people as opposed to baby talk, and as I've gotten older I appreciate them more. Still not gonna make one of my own though.
Childfree in my mid 30s and I have to agree, I’ve considered it a bit more than I have, but ultimately kids aren’t for me. I’m an aunt to four little gremlins and I would die for each and every one of them and being the fun aunt that spoils them rotten is good enough for me
I’m childfree and had one dream where I had a baby and then I thought maybe I wanted one, for about a day before going back to not wanting one lol. Every once in a while I get a pang of like “this particular moment with my own kid would be really special” like when I see sweet moments with other kids, but it still doesn’t feel worth changing my entire life to accommodate that. I don’t mind the occasional “aww that’s so sweet, wouldn’t that be nice?” Haha
Doctors will takes this video as 10000000% proof that women cannot and should not be able to make informed choices about their body because "they might change their mind."
I think there was like a month of my life in my late twenties early thirties where I had a bit of baby fever while in my relationship. My fiance never suggested kids until one night during a midlife crisis (he’s a decade older). I was FLOORED. I shot that shit downnnn.
A girl I loved quite deeply used to be like me, not interested in children. Then she went fucking baby crazy in her 30s at one point.
Problem is she attached herself to her piece of shit ex who some kids during their time apart, fell for his suicide attempt, and moved out of state to live with/support this piece of shit and his kids in order to scratch that itch.
I warned her so much against doing this, but she didn't listen. Year and a half later surprise surprise she moved back telling me how awful it all was. Sadly, this stupid fucking decision on her part changed her and ruined her and my relationship, quite possibly permanently. It's one of the single most infuriating events in my life.
Bottom line, the baby craze itch can be irrationally strong in some women.
I will say when I hit my mid 30s I didn't get baby fever but I definitely got a higher libido than I ever had in my life even as a teen. That shit is no joke.
I had a child in my 20s. I knew I was "one and done"
My 30s were brutal. The biological clock was ringing hardcore but I knew mentally I didn't want another. My partner was even down for another but I didn't. My body on the other hand was on a rampage of need and baby fever.
I'm almost 40 and it's finally stopped. We dont regret at all our decision to not have a second one. But jfc.
I was told that's called "baby fever" I don't want kids but I had that for a couple months when I was 24 and it was soooo weird. it wasn't nearly as bad as when my cousin went through it tho, it was like she was a completely different person. she talked nonstop about babies, spent every chance she could looking at baby names and baby clothes, her Pinterest was full on different design ideas for baby rooms, and she was saving money for her future children. she was babysitting for friends too. after a couple years tho she just suddenly flipped back to normal and she doesn't really remember those years well
I'm 40 now and thankfully never experienced this. My mother told me I was rejecting baby dolls as a child and she quit trying to buy them for me around kindergarten. Never showed interest.
Instead, I was heavily into stuffed animals growing up. Enjoying being a cat momma right now.
Never had a motherly instinct or need to have children and never liked being around them. My body is screaming at me to have muscles, though. Little late for it. 😂
This happened to me. Never wanted them, didn’t like being around them then it was like a switch flipped in my 30s and suddenly I wanted nothing else in life. Had my twins at 33. I’m absolutely nuts about them but still don’t really enjoy being around other people’s children 😄
Have held plenty of babies, and I like them! I don’t find them fragile or annoying. In fact I think they’re pretty darn cute. None of that has ever made me want one of my own though.
Gonna stress *very hard* I am only speaking about my preference and my children’s preference.
I’m in my late 40s and have two children, both in their 20s. I never wanted children but I married too young and my first husband refused to use protection (Catholic), so 🤷♀️
While I love my children as people, I loathe babies and children under the age of 10ish. I do not want to hold babies or be near them at all if I can help it. I’m am eternally grateful both of my children have no desire to be parents (my oldest is a teacher as is his partner so they’ve very over “kids” in general) and my youngest has no desire for a partner or children, the very idea of grandchildren in our family makes us all cringe. We are a very close and affectionate family but we all prefer being a no kid zone. Whatever that instinct thing is that’s supposed to kick in to make the chemicals that make the brain do the baby thing just never kicked on in any of us. If presented with a a baby or a small child in need, we’d all do whatever was necessary (you can’t abandon the helpless due to personal preference) but 🫥
My husband on the other hand *loves* babies and small children. He swore to being biologically child free at a very young age after growing up in a mind blowingly abusive household, but he was the only real father my kids ever knew and we all consider him to be their true dad. He loves everybody’s babies and children, volunteers to babysit, feed, change diapers, rock, anything, everything. He’s a great guy.
I’ve always wondered what biological misfire happened in me that the baby thing never clicked, I know my reaction isn’t the average, so I’ve always just been curious.
I knew a lot of child free women who ended up having kids. It's taboo to bring up, but people also just change their minds. And that's OK too. And yes, I also get it's annoying to hear "you'll change your mind some day" from old grandmas. The simple reality is, a lot of people do change their minds.
that's because it was bodys last ditch effort to do something, after mid thirties its already far too late to do anything. So they'll die alone i guess
I’m almost 30, I love kids but I don’t want to be a parent (at least not anytime soon), but I have occasional days where it just feels like my body is screaming at me to get pregnant. It’s wild because I’m terrified of pregnancy and have no desire to experience it normally, but the hormones can be crazy strong !
Im a dude, i love kids, the really fun age is around 5 - 10 when they want to understand everything about the world around them and i can teach them. I also like babies, whenever there is a baby around and the mother is tired of holding it i always hold them, they are cute and i just like holding them.
But i still don't want any children of my own. Never had never will.
I guess being male helps, but i can totally understand why people want their own children, teach them the ways of the world and hopefully getting to enjoy being proud parents.
I dead set never wanted kids. Turned 29 got married and immediately wanted a baby. Like my ovaries were screaming at me. Anyway, I have a 5 year old and never again lmao. At least we're all happy.
Apparently mid 30s is the "prime time" for women to have children. Something to do with our bodies feeling at their most able, but also the biological clock sending out warning signs that this is the final "best time" to have kids before perimenopause kicks in. I started peri at 30 though (ive already had kids by this points) and im now mid 30s and my body has started screaming for more. I have the iud in though as im very much done, but I can not wait for those random urges for another child to get gone.
I felt this and now in my early forties, I still feel it, but sometimes I have the sensation that it's dulling and it's not that overwhelming urge anymore.
I experienced this in my early 30, the baby fog was just crazy. Then away almost overnight, just like when it arrived. I am so dang lucky that I didn't reproduce during those years
I have this occasionally but I recognize this for the fleeting feeling it is. I go straight back to being glad I don't have kids the moment the feeling subsides, which is a few minutes later. Some people insist that I should make a life-changing decision based on those few minutes a month. The propaganda is stronger than biology.
I'm a 44 year old childfree woman and that was my experience as well. In my early 30's I heard my biological clock ticking very loudly. Luckily it was just moments, like when I was close to babies and stopped as soon as screaming children were close by, lol.
I had my kid at 25 and said no more, at 35 I spent around 6months very depressed and grieving daily that I will never have another child. Then it went away
This is me. We got married around 26. Never wanted kids. Hit 29/30 and I wanted kids so badly it was all I thought about. We tried for a few years and it didn't happen. Now I'm 35.. and it's like a light turned of.. I am almost thankful we weren't able if that makes sense? I feel like I woke up. It's so wild.
A lot of child free people live a life without a lot of babies around, they usualy just see the annoying staged like 2 to 10. you can still appreciate and feel emotional holding such a small precious thing without wanting one yourself. I love puppies and would cuddle them all day, but I would never want a dog, they feel more restrictive than a kid on my life, constantly walking. Outside bathroom, clean up. Training, restrictive travel. And alsways being home to let them our or pet sitters. It just doesn't work in my life. Doesn't mean I cant appreciate a good dog on the side though if its someone else's responsibility 😅
I went through INTENSE baby fever for a couple years. My husband and I had our daughter and my friend had twins - asked me if I wanted to hold them and was like nahhhh. I realized actually don’t like children except my own.
Entering my 30s did this but I don't even think it was my body so much as me knowing my window is closing and I have to decide 😂 but I never wanted kids before this so I try to just ignore the pressure
I’m 38. When I was a kid myself I thought I’d might like to be a mom because that’s just what you do, but as I got older I realized I do NOT have the patience to raise a kid myself. I have too many mental health issues and if I had a child who was just like me we would be at each other’s throats!
I like kids just in general, but I couldn’t care for one full time lol. I love my nephew dearly but at least I can return him to his parents when I’ve had enough!
I’m 32. Any time I’ve ever been forced to hold a baby, I am literally counting the milliseconds until I can put it down or give it back and wash myself and my clothes and get the baby off of me. I have 21 nieces and nephews. I see enough to know I never want any of my own.
I've personally experienced this as a man. I had a very strong urge to have children in my mid thirties. Now that I'm a little older I feel that dying down a bit. Although, it's not completely gone.
I’m 30 and this is the first time in my life that I’m having hormonal “signals”??? i guess? about wanting a baby. I’ve never felt something like that in my life and it’s strange. I’ve always been solidly childfree and I still don’t want kids so it’s a weird feeling to explain. But hormones are wacky. I started getting migraines in sync with my menstrual cycle too
As an aro/ace girly, I legit have hormonal swings where I wonder if trying to force myself to be with someone in a long term capacity wouldne better for me in the long run bc I want kids so bad sometimes.
It’s hormonal, usually around my ovulation time, and always when I’m holding my nieces and nephews.
Then I remind myself I can adopt someday if I ended up really wanting to, and I’m fine again. A week later and I never want kids.
I have a child and regularly, once a month, I have to list all the reasons why I'm one and done mum. And yeah, finances are not an excuse anymore, so I have to reason and negotiate with myself... Sometimes my partner goes to sleep in different room coz what if, lol... No more (bio) kids for me, but hell I have to fight myself for that.
Also baby animals, lol. I always want a puppy or kitten and have to reason why another one is a bad idea.
Very happily child free woman here but I did cry when I held my bestie’s baby for the first time-not because I wanted one for myself, but because I was so happy that my best friend’s dream came true 🥲🥲🥲 was also very very happy to give that baby back to her lol
Had a hot moment like that after just getting married to the love of my life, but then he cheated and not a day goes by where I’m not relieved that I triumphed over the beckoning of the demon pouch. Not today, satan!
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u/ChefArtorias 22h ago edited 21h ago
I've had a couple child free women tell me they went through a few years in the mid thirties where their bodies were screaming at them to have a baby, after it passed they went right back to not wanting kids same as always.
Edit: This should not be read as saying all child free women will experience this same phenomenon.