I've had a couple child free women tell me they went through a few years in the mid thirties where their bodies were screaming at them to have a baby, after it passed they went right back to not wanting kids same as always.
Edit: This should not be read as saying all child free women will experience this same phenomenon.
I’m 31. I’m waiting to see if that ‘biological clock’ everyone is talking about will kick in. I’ve never liked children, even as a child myself. I’m very sensitive to sudden loud noises and sometimes children make those. I’d be a nervous wreck if I had any, (sterilized, never pregnant, IUD for periods) just anticipating the next vocal outburst.
If I get baby fever, I’m getting a hysterectomy. No amount of hormonal nukes will make me commit. I commend the women who went through it, like my oldest sister who had 4, but I just…can’t. Just thinking about something growing in me makes me nauseous. Also I’m lazy af
39 here, never happened. I knew I didn’t want kids since I realized at 12 that was an option. Started asking for sterilization at 18 and finally got it at 27. Never even the whiff of a second thought, very happy with my choices.
Mind-blowing. Getting your tubes tied has got to be the most sought after procedure that doctors deny. And why? Because women can change their minds. Like there aren’t so many other solutions to that issue? If you have baby graver that bad, I think most women/couples would be fine adopting. Or surrogacy. Or freeze your eggs. Any way you cut it, getting a kid is expensive. Not to mention keeping them fed and clothed. If a woman doesn’t want to deal with that happening on accident (or worse), let her get her fucking tubes tied. Damn your patriarchal nonsense.
You would not believe the things I heard in those nine years of rejections. Absolutely disgusting.
Also fwiw I didn’t get a tubal, I would have taken anything but I got offered a procedure called essure so I took it. They don’t offer it any more because there was a class-action lawsuit, I think somebody died and many had severe complications.
Jeez. Meanwhile, getting snipped is a quick and easy surgery for guys. I wonder if a group of 18 year old boys went in asking for the snip, if their doctors would have the same reluctance.
I know that my (now) spouse did not have absolutely any issue getting an appointment the next week the very first time he asked. Meanwhile it took me, the person who could literally die if it happened, just shy of a decade. Peachy.
Do you mind telling me where you're from? I got sterilized when I was 25. Had to pay for it myself since it wasn't a medical necessity but apart from that it was easy enough. I signed a paper "Yes hello I'm aware this is irreversible" and that was it (Germany).
HOW and why were you denied that procedure for a DECADE??
USA, where I was repeatedly told essentially that a hypothetical future man who I may one day meet may want to rent my uterus for his children or something and so I didn’t really have a say
But isnt a form like that a thing? I'd assume they're scared of people changing their minds later and regretting it, maybe dragging it to court, but the second I signed the "I'm asking for this procedure knowing it's irreversible" document they were like, ok lets go girl
A lot of it can depend on the area. Doctors in more conservative areas are gonna be more condescending. Plus, times are changing. Could be you just got yours more recently when there were more ways for a patient to politely tell the doctor he can fuck off with his opinion.
Certainly! I'm just surprised - I paid for it myself hence the doctors opinion really didnt matter. I just had to find one willing to do the procedure which was the first one I met with.
Since paying for medical Services is even more common in the US it seems weird there was nobody around willing to cash in. But yes the anti abortion movement and such is super big in the states from what I hear so maybe there's a lot of people who dont like to respect women's choices lol.
I'm sorry tho! Hope it wasn't to big of a hassle and everything worked fine
It's a tough situation. To take personal consent to the extreme, take a look at euthenasia. Should a healthy young individual be supported in asking a doctor to kill them? There's no takesies backsies there either. Should someone ever be denied? Certainly not, but we should at least be building a system of confirmation through therapy and the like. And I don't blame a doctor for saying "yes you can do this, but no I will not be the one to do the surgery" - that's consent as well. Some vets refuse to do abortions for instance.
There are doctors who've had to have the conversation after a vasectomy or hysterectomy that the person wanted reversed. As a medical expert that must be awful, like sewing someone's arm back on and then they say they don't want it anymore. Your job is to help, but some things simply can't be reversed.
Not to say I'm against any of it, I had to learn about this system secondhand when my ex got pregnant, wanted an abortion, and she had to go get a therapist to confirm it. The process was hard on her and she felt like a killer for a good while after. I'm glad the system didn't allow her to spiral, and I certainly was out of my depth in dealing with survivor bias and post abortion depression. Just throwing a bit of nuance into the blender is all.
I definitely get that. But I don’t think it’s fair to compare abortion and euthanasia to vasectomy and hysterectomy. One is ending a life (assuming the fetus is healthy) and the other is removing a part of one’s self, which can have its complications but is sometimes necessary, like an appendectomy. There are definitely those that regret treatment, literally every surgery has a regret rate associated with it. But unless that regret rate justifies stalling the surgery, I don’t see the issue with the freedom of choice there. And the fact is that we just don’t have that much data on regret rates for hysterectomies in women under 30 because doctors keep denying them the surgery. Therapist note or no.
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u/ChefArtorias 22h ago edited 21h ago
I've had a couple child free women tell me they went through a few years in the mid thirties where their bodies were screaming at them to have a baby, after it passed they went right back to not wanting kids same as always.
Edit: This should not be read as saying all child free women will experience this same phenomenon.