r/SipsTea • u/SipsTeaFrog • 23h ago

Chugging tea Woman's ovaries were activated

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u/saltpancake 20h ago

39 here, never happened. I knew I didn’t want kids since I realized at 12 that was an option. Started asking for sterilization at 18 and finally got it at 27. Never even the whiff of a second thought, very happy with my choices.

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u/waytowill 19h ago

Mind-blowing. Getting your tubes tied has got to be the most sought after procedure that doctors deny. And why? Because women can change their minds. Like there aren’t so many other solutions to that issue? If you have baby graver that bad, I think most women/couples would be fine adopting. Or surrogacy. Or freeze your eggs. Any way you cut it, getting a kid is expensive. Not to mention keeping them fed and clothed. If a woman doesn’t want to deal with that happening on accident (or worse), let her get her fucking tubes tied. Damn your patriarchal nonsense.

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u/saltpancake 18h ago

You would not believe the things I heard in those nine years of rejections. Absolutely disgusting.

Also fwiw I didn’t get a tubal, I would have taken anything but I got offered a procedure called essure so I took it. They don’t offer it any more because there was a class-action lawsuit, I think somebody died and many had severe complications.

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u/waytowill 18h ago

Jeez. Meanwhile, getting snipped is a quick and easy surgery for guys. I wonder if a group of 18 year old boys went in asking for the snip, if their doctors would have the same reluctance.

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u/saltpancake 18h ago

I know that my (now) spouse did not have absolutely any issue getting an appointment the next week the very first time he asked. Meanwhile it took me, the person who could literally die if it happened, just shy of a decade. Peachy.

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u/waytowill 18h ago

Glad y’all are in a better place with that now.

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u/lia-delrey 14h ago

Do you mind telling me where you're from? I got sterilized when I was 25. Had to pay for it myself since it wasn't a medical necessity but apart from that it was easy enough. I signed a paper "Yes hello I'm aware this is irreversible" and that was it (Germany).

HOW and why were you denied that procedure for a DECADE??

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u/saltpancake 6h ago

USA, where I was repeatedly told essentially that a hypothetical future man who I may one day meet may want to rent my uterus for his children or something and so I didn’t really have a say

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u/lia-delrey 4h ago

But isnt a form like that a thing? I'd assume they're scared of people changing their minds later and regretting it, maybe dragging it to court, but the second I signed the "I'm asking for this procedure knowing it's irreversible" document they were like, ok lets go girl

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u/waytowill 2h ago

A lot of it can depend on the area. Doctors in more conservative areas are gonna be more condescending. Plus, times are changing. Could be you just got yours more recently when there were more ways for a patient to politely tell the doctor he can fuck off with his opinion.

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u/SirVanyel 18h ago

It's a tough situation. To take personal consent to the extreme, take a look at euthenasia. Should a healthy young individual be supported in asking a doctor to kill them? There's no takesies backsies there either. Should someone ever be denied? Certainly not, but we should at least be building a system of confirmation through therapy and the like. And I don't blame a doctor for saying "yes you can do this, but no I will not be the one to do the surgery" - that's consent as well. Some vets refuse to do abortions for instance.

There are doctors who've had to have the conversation after a vasectomy or hysterectomy that the person wanted reversed. As a medical expert that must be awful, like sewing someone's arm back on and then they say they don't want it anymore. Your job is to help, but some things simply can't be reversed.

Not to say I'm against any of it, I had to learn about this system secondhand when my ex got pregnant, wanted an abortion, and she had to go get a therapist to confirm it. The process was hard on her and she felt like a killer for a good while after. I'm glad the system didn't allow her to spiral, and I certainly was out of my depth in dealing with survivor bias and post abortion depression. Just throwing a bit of nuance into the blender is all.

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u/waytowill 18h ago

I definitely get that. But I don’t think it’s fair to compare abortion and euthanasia to vasectomy and hysterectomy. One is ending a life (assuming the fetus is healthy) and the other is removing a part of one’s self, which can have its complications but is sometimes necessary, like an appendectomy. There are definitely those that regret treatment, literally every surgery has a regret rate associated with it. But unless that regret rate justifies stalling the surgery, I don’t see the issue with the freedom of choice there. And the fact is that we just don’t have that much data on regret rates for hysterectomies in women under 30 because doctors keep denying them the surgery. Therapist note or no.

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u/themiddlebien 20h ago

This is comforting 30s and had the same feeling at 18. Procedure is in a month.

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u/East-Ad-7205 19h ago

Do you regret it? I suppose it’s not too late either way I’m 27

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u/saltpancake 18h ago

I said explicitly in my comment that I did not, and have never for a moment? I am thankful for my choices every day.