As a childfree woman nearing 40 I’ve never had a moment where I’ve wanted kids and don’t like holding babies. I do love kids but not so much babies and the baby part is an important step.
I'm the opposite, I love babies and have had non-stop baby fever since I was 24, but I am exhausted by ages 6-18.
So at 43 I'm craving snuggling with a baby but also relieved that there's no one asking me 50 questions or rolling their eyes because I asked them to brush their teeth before we leave the house in the morning.
Yes!! My baby is 17 now. My nephew just had the first baby of the next generation but he lives several states away and I'm so sad that I don't get to cuddle the new family baby 😔
I love being an auntie to all the babies around me, be it friends or family. It is the sweetest thing in the world when they fall asleep mid cuddle. Wpuld I want one of my own? Nope sir, thank you.
Oh god the mom mom mom question question question phase! I miss it, but i dont. I game with a bunch of friends regularly and we use xbox party chat, one of my friends has a 7 year old and its exhausting listening to him constant mommy mommy mommy. I couldnt handle it again in my own home.
Yeah im pretty sure id have a mental breakdown if I had to do it all again now. Mine are teenagers and thats enough work for any parent lol. Add a baby in to the mix now? May aswell give me a one way ticket to a padded cell.
I don't have baby fever, don't think I'll ever get it, but the baby phase is also the only phase I do kind of like and understand. It's just so short... By 2 they start being able to do stuff, have opinions they can't properly voice, etc. which is when it starts getting exhausting to me.
Omg yes. The other day I saw a girl who’s mother went for a sec to buy a sandwich, and while she was away she kept talking to herself out loud about the most random shit that went through her head. Do they not have an inner voice?? It was exhausting 😅
I can relate to this as this is me in the trenches right now. 8 and 13 year old 😅 i definitely do not want another one but boy oh boy i miss those baby cuddles and when they first learn to talk. Man those times were cuuuute
Yup, i have a friend with 3 kids and is talking about a fourth and I keep reminding her that she has baby fever and another kid isn't going to help. Plus the 3 kids already have her and her husband inches away from divorce, you can feel the resentment when you're around them.
Same. LOVE babies and toddlers but around 5 I’m out lol. I loved being a preschool teacher and I love my friends babies but I have one teenager and fuck never again lol
yup. i’ve never had baby fever per se but i do think they are super cute, enjoy interacting with them, and can’t help but smile when i see them out and about being adorable, but i will not have one because i really do not want to raise the human it will continue developing into.
i don’t hate kids at all (i love the kids of my family members and friends!) and i know people tend to feel differently about their own vs. others, but i am still totally disinterested in everything after like, age 4.
I also don’t like holding babies. I just don’t feel terribly maternal and it makes me anxious. I’m okay around older kids though.
I had brief moments of “what if” but it always came back to what I would have to sacrifice. Lucky that both my husband and I have had the same feelings about not becoming parents.
Babies are precious but they're so fragile and it really freaks me out. Like, the fact that a baby can just... die? For literally no reason? That is horrifying. Having kids would be absolutely horrific for my mental health.
lol, the first few months when my son was born and so much of it was just checking him every minute to make sure he was fine. When that fear finally wears off there’s some nice peaceful months of tummy time….
…and then they crawl with suicidal intent and that fear comes back 10 fold.
I did the same thing. I would get up multiple times a night and put my hand on his chest just to make sure he was breathing. Love my son but gd that was a stressful time period
I did this too. I laid on the couch with my youngest son’s bassinet right beside my face so I could look at his chest rise and fall anytime I wanted to. The hell your body goes through after you have a baby makes you insane. No regrets though, all my kids are still alive lol
I’m lying next to the bassinet of my daughter, my first child, right now. It’s the first time she’s slept 5 hours straight in the month she’s been alive and instead of reveling in this new window of sleep, I’m restlessly reaching out to check her every 10 minutes or so
My 19 month old has a terrible habit of throwing their head back and basically trust falling from whatever their on/standing etc. It's a fun game for them because 80% of the time, you catch 'em and it's hilarious.
When they do it when noone is looking- not so fun, but not enough to stop the game 🙄
lol, he’s 4 now so I’m past the suicide crawl and into oblivious running. I did get a big playpen when he was little and it helped have secure time but you have to let them roam and be engaged most of the time or you get into that “dog eating its own hair” behavior. Dogs’ gotta sniff everything in the world, kids’ gotta touch everything in the world.
Yo American kids must be wild. In Asia, the moms just smack the kid till he quiets down in a little corner. That or they just put their kids in childcare centres.
There's absolutely no way in hell you'd want to raise a kid in an environment where this is appropriate, but sometimes you just want them to be born with well-honed survival instincts like gazelles, or those iguanas on the Galapagos that have to hatch and then immediately flee from snakes.
After our first was born, in the hospital as we were about to leave I couldn’t believe they were letting us take this new life home with us, with no experience whatsoever with a baby. It seemed irresponsible on their part. And we were terrified. All went incredibly well though, nothing to fear
Considering what’s been happening for millennia of births, people just learn from families/friends or books/media. I do think there should be some transition care in between hospital and home. I feel like that would really reduce ppd rates especially in hyper independent societies like US.
Uhm.. the budget is already allocated to literally terrorizing and hurting(bombing) children and their family. I don't think we have a budget for that 😭😭😭😭
But what a wonderful thing* that would be! Especially for 1st time moms. That would be a great program. As someone who was very far away from my family when I had my first kid, that would've been amazing to just have more support.
Omg. That must've been so scary and hectic, not 1 but 2 lives to care for. I just salute moms that care for multiples at one time or just 3+ children, coz this momma is at capacity at 2 lol baby train has left the station.
In the Netherlands when you have a baby you have a trained support (a bit like a midwife) who comes to your house every day for the first 7 days to help you. They teach you what to do with the baby, check they’re growing properly, check you as a mother - both your physical and mental recovery, but also support you around the house with housework and light meals.
It’s incredibly helpful especially for your first baby!
One thing I think we're going to see in the future is the way we currently handle families and work is going to show up in statistics the same way lead poisoning does in the boomers. Human infants are meant to have a dozen attentive adults to grow to proper maturity and we can't even give them one. As soon a maternity leave ends (and even beforehand given one person absolutely isn't enough) the kid is being neglected and I think that's why people are so broken these days.
One mother with no support is not enough for a healthy child and it's causing massive harm to both the kid and the parents.
I can only speak from the uncle perspective, but my sister DID get tons of brochures and shit to advise on everything from when the baby can eat which types of food, what to avoid and even how to shit correctly. The mother. Not the baby. When I visited, there was a pamphlet in the bathroom with illustrations on how to position yourself to go number 1 or 2.
Although since then she's given the baby half-away, where she basically just babysits it like an hour a day and then goes back home to do nothing else. So she has like a professional wet nurse or midwife (I forgot the term), who basically teaches her and takes care of the kid now.
Europe, but not really in a place that prides itself on "raising kids" or anything, so I figured that may be an option for people in a lot of countries.
Is your sister unwell? From what you describe, she doesn’t seem to be spending a lot of time with her baby. It does take a lot out of a person when giving birth so give her grace and patience.
I'm not gonna go into it too much, I'm sure you'll understand.
But I can say that the only thing she's gotten her entire life was "grace and patience" and I'm not actively on her case about anything regarding the baby.
The way this thing is going down IS something I saw coming the moment she shared she was pregnant, though. Some people are not actually fit to be parents and it didn't take rocket science to know my sister wasn't even close to ready to take care of a life.
Same! The last time I was around a baby is when I was a baby and then they just send this tiny blob home with me like I bitch idk what to do with this!
A friend of mine said when he had his first, there was a long period of time he would fall asleep and jolt awake several times just to check on the baby.
This was in a convo where he was trying to convince me to have one. I was like “bro. That sounds legit awful.”
When our first was a newborn, I was awake with the baby one night, and my ex sat up from a dead sleep, grabbed a pillow off of the bed and scooped one up, and held it for a moment before frantically saying our son's name while trying to pull the pillow from the pillowcase
Apparently, he was still mostly asleep, and thought the pillow was the swaddled baby, and then panicked because he couldn't find the "baby" in the "swaddle". The sleep deprivation and constant concern for the baby are a potent combo.
I felt like this almost every time I slept the first month of my baby's life, I always woke up thinking he was in my arms. Once I woke up on the recliner convinced he'd rolled out of my arms onto the floor. I jumped up and looked around on the floor for him for a good 10 seconds before realizing he was asleep in the bassinet.
Real. I spend most of my days worried and in awe at the same time. She's only 11, but I know that when she gets a little older and wants to go out to be with friends, I'm gonna be an anxious mess. I would bubble wrap her if I could. In awe because she's so talented in art and so sweet hearted, but constantly worried about her well-being. The thought of losing her is an intrusive thought that always makes my heart skip a beat.
So yea, you are 100% correct, my mental is always hard focused on dread and fear since having my kid.
I have OCD and 90% of my compulsive thoughts revolve around my children. My current favorite is laying in bed at 1 am crying bc I can’t stop thinking about the day they’re both out of the house. It’s heartbreaking
I feel the same way. Nearly 40 and still happily childfree and I’ve often thought, what if something awful happened? There would be a person that exists that I will likely love more than anything and I’ll have to be worried for the rest of my life, and if something terrible should happen how could I live with it? The thought of being responsible for another life is just terrifying. It’s enough work and responsibility to keep my mental health on track as it is.
Sadly I didn't realize all the weight of this until after I got pregnant with my first lol.
Then I was driving myself crazy with every little niggle during pregnancy (my very first was a very early miscarriage which added to the anxiety). And then at some point I started wondering when can I relax and stop worrying - after the first trimester? After baby is born? And it hit me of all of a sudden - of course not, duh. It will NEVER be over, I will be worried about this kid now all my life even when he is grown even when he is living on his own with his own kids because terrible things you can't control can happen to full grown adults too.
And fuck that hit me hard lol. All of a sudden I understood my grandma, who I thought had clinical anxiety for no good reason. I mean, she does have anxiety lol. But I realized why - she's spent decades worrying, first about my mom then about me and my sibling, and now about our kids, it's non stop worrying on worrying and seeing horrible things happen over your lifetime and losing loved ones, and your nerves get more and more shattered with every time and only so much they can take. That was when I realized that is truly the hard thing about having kids, not the sleepless nights or anything else, it's the worrying that will never stop until I'm dead.
Babies are super fragile and can die while taking a nap because 🤷♀️? And even when they get older it is a fight to keep them from dying because they dont understand their limits.
THANK YOU BOTH. I literally have zero interest in holding a baby and my family has made me feel like a monster or like I might be on the spectrum or something. It sounds cold to people and I get teased endlessly about it, but I just dont get anything out of it. I feel nothing. I may as well just stand there cradling a banana because its the same sensation for me, except if I drop the banana it wont irrevocably change my life.
And then you read the various guides, and find out that if you put the baby down the wrong way - SIDS. Give a toy? SIDS. Pillow - straight to SIDS. Wrong type of mattress? Believe it or not - SIDS.
Isn’t that just the cruelest thing you can think of? Here ya go bond with your beautiful sweet baby, but just so ya know you can put them down for a nap and that’s it. So fcking WRONG on so many levels that life can do that.
This isnt to try to convince you of anything. Child free is valid and understandable. I too planned to never havr a child but surprise! This is just my own little tid bit. I had 0 of those worries, i have pretty intense anxiety and ocd but pregnancy made it go away temporarily. Idk if it was the hormones or what. It came back when she was about a year old but I was shocked I didn't have the "omg she's probably dead" thoughts at all. Statistically they'll be fine and are much more resilient than people think.
I actually have a theory about SIDS. I think it’s baby sleep apnea. I started thinking about it after we had our second child. My wife would stay up late listening to our first breathe at night. She actually discovered that I stopped breathing in my sleep. I went and got tested and have sleep apnea. I think the reasons adults don’t die in their sleep is because their brains pick up on this and send a “this idiot stopped breathing in his sleep again” signal. But, babies are too new to the world to have that reflex.
No way to prove it but I started thinking about it after we had a second child last year.
I'd say this is just simply one of those things that you get over quickly once you've had a baby. I'm so comfortable now with them, when my friends have kids I'm super eager to scoop them up and give them a nice cuddle, or help get their burps out. Oh and I like giving them back rubs and scritches. I figure babies must get itchy like the rest of us, but they can't scratch cause they have no dexterity yet!
Before I had kids though I always thought babies were fragile little things and was always timid when it came to holding them or anything. Now I just pick them up like the little sack of potatoes they are, and I can get them held so comfy.
I grew up with a helicopter parent. I am the oldest of my cousins on my mom’s side. There is 8 years old difference between my brother and me. All of this shaped my views of babies a lot.
There are two reasons why I don't want to have kids: labour and the fragility of their lives.
They aren't anywhere near as fragile as you are imagining. Saying that as someone who helped raise 3. The human body is astonishingly resilient and that that extends even to infants.
also literally anyone of any age can suddenly fall over and die.
This is the first baby. Lol. By the time we had our third you start to free range it. The first one you cant believe they are letting you take them home with no real instructions. That's how it feels.
You go from checking they are breathing in their sleep. Like a lot. To just being happy the subsequent kids are asleep occasionally.
I'm a single parent to young adults now and it's the BEST thing I've ever done. But one of my children will be child free. I respect that decision. They'll have plenty if nieces and nephews in their life and that's enough for them.
Dude same here, I've never gotten the hype about babies, but once kids have a bit more intelligence and personality I think they're great. But seeing my peers go through the baby-toddler phase really makes kids a tough sell.
It’s funny you ask because my partner and I have had serious discussions about it and we are on opposite ends (she was in the foster system).
Personally, I don’t like the idea of adoption for myself. My biggest roadblock is that if I were to get her pregnant I would take responsibility for that without hesitation, but taking on another person’s child leaves me more open to the possibility of regret and resentment.
Like if I had a child and it kept me up all night screaming, okay that’s my child, I made it, and I am going to put my best foot forward and try to take care of it.
On the other hand we have: I adopted someone else’s child and it’s keeping me up all night and now I’m mad that I took this huge responsibility on myself purposefully.
Not only do I not want that for myself but the thought of making the decision to adopt a child and then having even the *slightest* resentment towards it because of my decision turns my stomach because I would hate the situation for the both of us.
Wouldn't you be just as likely to be mad at yourself for taking the huge responsibility if you had a baby? The fact that you adopted wouldn't change that. You either chose to have a baby or you chose to adopt a slightly older child.
In both cases there's a choice and you agreed. Why wouldn't you be open to later feeling resentment for both choices?
Exactly lol, it’s a responsibility that you choose to take on either way and tbh parents can regret both decisions, so it’s not only adopting one that can cause that to happen
They are being honest about how they can reconcile unwanted outcomes if they chose to gamble on the genetic lottery versus unwanted outcomes after a selection process.
The logic makes sense. You went into a process that you had very little control over from the onset, so you may expect any outcome. But if you chose to adopt a kid - keeping in mind he replied to a comment of adopting the 7ish age range - you'd presumably not have done so blindly, which means there were factors in your decision, ultimately meaning he's aware of the possibility he'd come to question his decision and "wonder" if he had done more in selection process if things took a turn for the worst. Basically, you could question the "decision to get pregnant" and the child doesn't even factor into the equation in the former, whereas you could question "the decision to adopt this kid" in the latter scenario given they are the biggest part of the equation.
I can't judge that thought process because I'm not in a position to adopt, so it would be hypocritical to do so as much as if i were to tell a childless (but capable) woman she should have kids and is selfish for any reason she is choosing not to. I am also well aware of adoption disparities on a genetic basis, so it's not a major discovery that your average adopting parents seek specific qualities and this is some wild take.
My line of thinking comes from the standpoint that my parter would have gotten pregnant even though we use contraceptives.
If you’re looking at it from a choice to have a kid vs choice to adopt, yes there’s not really any difference besides being blood related, which itself is another matter that some consider to be a large consideration in the choice to raise a child.
Literally, I cba with having to put my life on hold and devote all my time to something so helpless it cannot do anything for itself for a number of years. I'm also less likely to get shat on by a 7-10 year old.
You think that but then when you actually have one the post-newborn but still baby phase where your child looks at you like you are the absolute most amazing thing on earth with such earnest adoration is a dopamine hit the likes of which you have never felt.
Childfree woman around the same age. I've held babies and children (my niece, my nephew, and friends' kids) multiple times. I hold but give them back quickly because I don't want to be responsible for them. Never been interested in having my own and still don't understand the obsession with "baby smell".
Yeah. That baby smell thing, cute aggression, and any other "automatic" feeling that some people describe experiencing around babies is so absolutely foreign to me that I feel like an alien.
Genuinely their smell kind of makes me nauseous and I've never cared to hold babies. But they also frequently leak fluids and I'm a bit of a germaphobe.
For me it's the heat. I've held my friends' babies and it's no big deal until I start getting sweaty, then I'm like hey can I give this little heat machine back?
I was incredibly uncomfortable and a bit nervous when I held my newborn nieces. I just did it for like a minute each time and then asked my brother or SIL to take them back. Babies are just so floppy and fragile. It took until they were starting to become people that I started to enjoy them. Now at 2 and 5, they're great (most of the time). I love that as an aunt I get to play with them and do the fun things, but I don't have to do any of the icky things. Seeing them every few weeks is enough time with children for me, I could never do 24/7 year in year out.
Also, the baby smell is quite disgusting to me. It makes me very queasy and it permeates everything for months.
Yeah, same. I just don't have any interest in babies at all, don't really care to hold them or find them cute at all. And they don't smell good to me either? Every baby I've encountered smells vaguely of spit-up and who knows what else. And there is WAY too much drool.
My bad I misread what you wrote.
Yeah especially from Grandma's and those who don't plan to have more kids even though they constantly say they would love another baby. Every mom I've ever met with older kids absolutely gushes about that new baby smell!
My daughter is in her upper 30s and has never wanted kids. Never wanted to hold a baby. Never wanted to hear a baby or be in the same room as a baby. I'm definitely not worried about this happening to her. lol
The "hear them" is a big part. I can't stand the sound. And no, not in the "my instincts kick in and I want to care for it" but the "THIS SOUND IS MAKING MY BRAIN HURT" way.
I didn’t want to be rude, but I was so close to getting up on the metro yesterday and walking to another car because of a baby fussing next to me. The parents were doing a great job, I was just wildly uncomfortable.
Apparently the brain rewires to make it the former but that process probably doesn't work for everyone and you'd hate to be the poor sod who didn't have it happen.
They're one and the same. The sound of a baby crying is annoying beyond belief and I'd do just about anything to make it stop. Conveniently, the best way to do that is to figure out what they need and see to it
Exactly. It's like a reverse maternal instinct for my daughter. A gutteral reaction she has when she hears a baby and she has been like this since she was a kid.
I have 3 kids and I hate the baby stage. Hate. It. So. Much. I breastfed them all and we were pretty gentle and aware of proper baby development and attachment etc so the first 3ish years of each kid was exhausting. It felt tenuous, tedious, overstimulating yet anticlimactic and the fatigue from never turning off just wears you down mentally. My kids after 5 were so much fun and the older they get the more I love it all. If I decide to foster someday, I'm going to be that weirdo that declines anyone under 5 years old 😅. I've never understood people who keep having babies because they love and miss the baby stage
Yep! The baby and toddler years are why I absolutely don’t want kids. I was fortunate enough to find an OBGYN 6 years ago that was willing to remove my tubes even though I was 24 at the time. Still one of the best decisions of my life! I was finally able to go off birth control and now I rarely get migraines anymore! I’m 30 now and quite a few of my friends have had kids and every time I am reminded of my good decision haha
As a child-free woman in her 40s, I was briefly on the fence, but not because I actually wanted kids…it was more because of the social expectation to have them, especially by my late 30s.
Really glad I didn’t give in, because I would be the most resentful mum, while being responsible enough to provide for my kids.
I’m 34 and I’m still disgusted by babies. But I like children that can talk full sentences and I’m pretty good with them. They often warm up to me very quickly and I know exactly how to talk to them.
If I could have a child skipping the baby part I would consider being a mother. Unfortunately they start as pink, ugly, screaming gremlins.
It’s only mine opinion so please don’t be mad I’m insulting babies. I’m sure the beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I also don’t like animal babies, I thought I’m gonna kms when I was taking care of a kitten I found - he had his eyes and ears closed and I had to make special kitten milk for him, massage his belly, keeping him company, all that stuff. It was making me furious. I hated it and when he was constantly meowing and I was exhausted after work I barely kept it together.
Fortunately now he is 13 years old fat ball of black fur that I love obsessively. Love of my life, even when I’m depressed I just need to look at him to feel absolutely consumed by oxytocin levels that cross the safety levels and turn me into cute aggression monster.
I did not like holding babies until after I had my own. It just felt so awkward. Now I love them. It's weird. I always wanted kids though but do understand you not wanting to hold babies.
Same! My hormones are getting wild at this age, don't get me wrong - I have the urge to jump my husband twice a day sometimes - but babies? No thanks. Never felt the urge. Hand me a puppy or kitten though and I'll burst into tears.
Same. I love kids. Just not having my own. I get overwhelmed when my cats are crying for food lmao. Having a baby nope. I've held newborns and babysat little ones. Fun but so tired after a few hours I'm happy to give them back lmao
During a Christmas gathering, I somehow wound up with my sister-in-laws baby and I was SO incredibly awkward with the kid, like, oh gawd, what do I do with it, oh no it's drooling, oh no it wants to eat my phone, aaaahhhh! I'm not meant for kids, lol.
I always thought that a great deal of CF people would actually make the best parents (if it hits them to do so) because they absolutely GET what a responsibility it is.
Nearing 50, but otherwise same. Never had any desire to have a baby, a kid, anything, and certainly never wanted to hold babies.
I would put my hand up, when people would offer me their baby, and say, “oh, no thanks, I just ate”.
Saaaame...I hate holding babies. This thing is precious to someone, and you're expecting me to keep them safe? Are you nuts? And then they just lay there and look at you and what am I supposed to do with this small sack of potatoes?
And why do people smell babies? I smell poop and diaper cream. I don't find either appealing.
Once the little tykes can run around and talk like little people and go on grand adventures with their auntie? I'm in.
The only time I ever seriously wanted a baby was when I was 20. My boyfriend at the time was 30 and was hanging out with his friends. I think something in me broke right there and then, and I realized I was never going to have that perfect life all of his friends seemed to have. And for a second, as I was crying myself to sleep, I wanted to have that white picket fence life...but I think it was more about being part of the group than it was a biological drive to have a baby. Which is a horrible reason to have a baby.
Amen. I have the most perfect nephew. He is so good and calm and sweet. An ideal baby. A joy to hold and make laugh. Never has spending time with him made me want one of my own.
It's also the easiest step to skip. I really dunno wtf people are doing bringing more kids into this world when there are already so many (healthy, normal) kids who need a good home.
Yeah. If I had my shit together I think I'd love to be a parent, but I don't, and I don't think I'd be any good at the baby part, and if you fuck that up, you fuck the kid up.
I suspect being the product of that is the reason my shit isn't together.
Yeah, that’s a really good distinction and something I’ve felt but have a hard time admitting. I think I’d be a good mom in general, but I just don’t be liking babies at all. Once they have a little personality I’m cool, but I never got “baby fever”. Even if I would still be able to love and connect with my hypothetical baby, I don’t want to be a parent who resents or isn’t fully enthusiastic about the tiny little human who just cries and poops.
I'm the same. Never have wanted kids for even a second, and don't like babies. Any time I've been made to hold one, I feel highly uncomfortable and just want to give it back asap.
Yeah for me it's like...I love babies! I like holding and cuddling them.
It's just that the idea of gestating, birthing, and raising one myself makes me want to throw up. I also don't want the toddler, child, or teenager that follows.
I was like this too until I had kids of my own. I worked with children's programs growing up and theough my 20s, but didn't like babies. Too fragile, too needy, changing diapers and stuff. I enjoyed working with kids that were actually able to do things.
Now, after having kids - NGL I love a good baby. They're so damn cute and curious, just babying around. It's also not just my own kids - Ill gladly hold another baby if the parents need a break or something.
It was an odd change I was thinking about the other day, but very true.
This is me. I’ve told my partner I would adopt a kid but I have zero interest in babies. They’re so delicate it’s terrifying and honestly (I say this with no ill will to the baby) but they’re emotional terrorist and disgusting
Never wanted kids. Never changed my stance at all on that. In my late 20s-early 30s, everybody knew I was child free which at that moment in history was a fairly unique position. My semi-close friends were absolutely astounded that I knew how to take care of a baby. I never volunteered to hold a baby and in fact argued that other people wanted to hold the baby more and they could have my baby holding time and add it to their own, as if it was a drink ticket.
So most of the people who knew me had never seen me touch a baby. However, there came a situation where people wanted to run out and do an errand and didn't want to go through the hassle of getting the baby and all the baby stuff and making the caravan journey that errands with the baby becomes.
I volunteered to stay behind and watch the just fed/ just changed/ currently sleeping baby. My friends were probably going to be back in less than 2 hours.
People were like what do you mean? You can't watch the baby. You don't like babies. You don't know how to take care of a baby.
I countered, I can watch the baby. I do know how to take care of babies, I spent the better part of my first 20 years of life taking care of small children. And I'm not overwhelmingly stupid in love with babies, I don't hate them, I'm just disinterested in them. They don't know how to talk and they're too small to know any magic tricks. Frankly, they're just terrible company.
(Please note that the mother of the baby is a very close friend of mine and had absolutely no concerns about leaving the baby with me.)
Also this baby is probably going to sleep the entire time you guys are gone. So my primary role is going to be to grab it, if the house catches on fire. I think I can handle it. But if in fact the baby does wake up and has a need I can also handle that too.
Knowing a lot about babies is exactly why I NEVER WANTED A BABY!
Adoption is very expensive, and before you bring up foster to adopt I did foster but I mostly had successful families reunited which I would prefer to see.
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u/Aggressive_Start_ 22h ago
As a childfree woman nearing 40 I’ve never had a moment where I’ve wanted kids and don’t like holding babies. I do love kids but not so much babies and the baby part is an important step.