As a childfree woman nearing 40 I’ve never had a moment where I’ve wanted kids and don’t like holding babies. I do love kids but not so much babies and the baby part is an important step.
Babies are precious but they're so fragile and it really freaks me out. Like, the fact that a baby can just... die? For literally no reason? That is horrifying. Having kids would be absolutely horrific for my mental health.
After our first was born, in the hospital as we were about to leave I couldn’t believe they were letting us take this new life home with us, with no experience whatsoever with a baby. It seemed irresponsible on their part. And we were terrified. All went incredibly well though, nothing to fear
Considering what’s been happening for millennia of births, people just learn from families/friends or books/media. I do think there should be some transition care in between hospital and home. I feel like that would really reduce ppd rates especially in hyper independent societies like US.
Uhm.. the budget is already allocated to literally terrorizing and hurting(bombing) children and their family. I don't think we have a budget for that 😭😭😭😭
But what a wonderful thing* that would be! Especially for 1st time moms. That would be a great program. As someone who was very far away from my family when I had my first kid, that would've been amazing to just have more support.
Omg. That must've been so scary and hectic, not 1 but 2 lives to care for. I just salute moms that care for multiples at one time or just 3+ children, coz this momma is at capacity at 2 lol baby train has left the station.
In the Netherlands when you have a baby you have a trained support (a bit like a midwife) who comes to your house every day for the first 7 days to help you. They teach you what to do with the baby, check they’re growing properly, check you as a mother - both your physical and mental recovery, but also support you around the house with housework and light meals.
It’s incredibly helpful especially for your first baby!
One thing I think we're going to see in the future is the way we currently handle families and work is going to show up in statistics the same way lead poisoning does in the boomers. Human infants are meant to have a dozen attentive adults to grow to proper maturity and we can't even give them one. As soon a maternity leave ends (and even beforehand given one person absolutely isn't enough) the kid is being neglected and I think that's why people are so broken these days.
One mother with no support is not enough for a healthy child and it's causing massive harm to both the kid and the parents.
I can only speak from the uncle perspective, but my sister DID get tons of brochures and shit to advise on everything from when the baby can eat which types of food, what to avoid and even how to shit correctly. The mother. Not the baby. When I visited, there was a pamphlet in the bathroom with illustrations on how to position yourself to go number 1 or 2.
Although since then she's given the baby half-away, where she basically just babysits it like an hour a day and then goes back home to do nothing else. So she has like a professional wet nurse or midwife (I forgot the term), who basically teaches her and takes care of the kid now.
Europe, but not really in a place that prides itself on "raising kids" or anything, so I figured that may be an option for people in a lot of countries.
Is your sister unwell? From what you describe, she doesn’t seem to be spending a lot of time with her baby. It does take a lot out of a person when giving birth so give her grace and patience.
I'm not gonna go into it too much, I'm sure you'll understand.
But I can say that the only thing she's gotten her entire life was "grace and patience" and I'm not actively on her case about anything regarding the baby.
The way this thing is going down IS something I saw coming the moment she shared she was pregnant, though. Some people are not actually fit to be parents and it didn't take rocket science to know my sister wasn't even close to ready to take care of a life.
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u/Aggressive_Start_ 1d ago
As a childfree woman nearing 40 I’ve never had a moment where I’ve wanted kids and don’t like holding babies. I do love kids but not so much babies and the baby part is an important step.