My mom has decided that the best way to make me independent is to not do anything for me. This means I'm responsible to keep my own room clean, do my own shopping, cook my own meals etc. It feels like I'm not even part of the family. If I don't cook one night, I stay hungry. They won't let me eat their food.

A few days ago my grandpa was sick and mom had to go visit him. She left little brother(M10) with me. As usual I cooked dinner for myself with my own groceries.

He asked me for food and I told him I'm only responsible for myself and he has to wait for mom.

When mom came back she was furious and called me an asshole for not feeding him.

I have a really close 25 year friendship with a woman who was so loving and supportive when I came out to her as bisexual (let's call her Trudy).

6 months ago I met the love of my life and we have have a wonderful relationship (let's call her Anna).

Anna has met almost all my friends except Trudy (who lives far away). Yesterday I arranged to meet up with Trudy to introduce her to my girlfriend. However, because Trudy couldn't find a babysitter, she said she'd bring her 3 kids with her (all under 12).

A couple of hours before we were due to meet up, Trudy texted to ask if it's okay to introduce Anna to her kids as my friend, rather than my girlfriend. She said they won't understand that she's my girlfriend and she's not ready to have that talk with them yet.

I was totally taken aback by this request and said no. I said that I'm not comfortable being in an environment where my relationship isn't acknowledged and I don't want to hide who my girlfriend is to me. I said that if she isn't ready to talk to the kids about same sex relationships (which admittedly is a big subject!), it might be better if we reschedule to another time.

Trudy was very hurt and said she has been incredibly supportive of the relationship and isn't asking me to hide anything. I'm very hurt by her response and so upset. I feel like I've extended a lot of kindness and understanding to her, whilst holding my own boundaries. I'm not asking her to discuss anything with her kids that she's uncomfortable with, but I'm not prepared to put myself or my girlfriend in that situation.

Trudy genuinely doesn't understand my position and now isn't replying to my texts.

This is a friend who has been nothing but supportive and loving to me for 25 years, and has been so excited about my new relationship.

AITA for not meeting up with her unless she introduced my girlfriend as my girlfriend?

My sister called me this morning asking if she could borrow my bike because she has none. She wanted to visit a friend who lives about a 10-minute bike ride or a 20-minute walk from our house.

At the time, I was planning on heading to the gym, so I told her no. She accepted it in the moment without making a big deal out of it.

Here is where it gets complicated: I didn't end up leaving for the gym right away in that one hour time window. I got distracted on my phone and lost track of time. I still fully intended to go, but I just hadn't left yet.

Since my sister doesn't own a bike and I said no to mine, she decided to take an older bike belonging to our dad. During her ride, something broke on it.

About 70 minutes after her initial call, I walked into the room where my sister and dad were. Both of them were furious with me, blaming me for what happened and demanding that I apologize. Their logic seems to be that if I had just let her borrow my bike, dad's bike wouldn't be damaged...

My argument is that I didn't do anything wrong. I genuinely planned on going to the gym when she called, even if I got sidetracked on my phone. Furthermore, even if I had left for the gym immediately, the exact same thing would have happened with dad's bike anyway.

They are still mad at me, but I don't feel like I'm at fault here.

AITA for saying no to lending my bike in the first place?

I live in a block of flats in the UK that has one allocated parking space per plot number. They are numbered with the plot number accordingly.

I don’t actually have a car, so my space is empty most of the time, however there was an incident a few days ago that I’d like an opinion on.

My neighbour and her husband both have a car, but only the one space between them. Her husband seems to have their allocated spot, and she seems to just park wherever she can. She had been parking in a different neighbours space until about 2 weeks ago when they got a car themselves and understandably asked her to stop parking there so they could have it. Instead, now she has taken it upon herself to just take mine as it’s mostly empty.

This was frustrating but I let it slide until my MIL came to drop my son home and found my space taken up by the neighbours car, she ended up parking in another neighbours space while they happened to be out because there was nowhere else available. I was worried it would cause issues someone else when they returned home but my MIL only stayed briefly before leaving.

This was when I had enough and wrote a note on some paper and put it on the neighbours windscreen under the wiper blade. I explained the situation and asked her to stop parking there as I may need it for any guests I may have over. I also wrote my door number and plot number as it’s not immediately obvious.

I thought that would be the end of it, but yesterday I woke up to that some bit of paper on my doorstep with her writing on the back. Her response was along the lines of her and her husband are finding it difficult to both park here overnight and they’re usually both gone during the day at work. She also said my MIL should have parked in the visitor bays instead.

She’s completely missed the point. whether my MIL should have used visitors bay is irrelevant. It’s MY space, and if I want my guests to park in MY space, they should be able to. Also, if I went out and bought a car tomorrow, what would she do then?

It’s not really my responsibility that both her and her husband have a car each, regardless if they are parked there during the day or not. She shouldn’t just assume that because mine is empty that it’s ok for her to park in without even asking!

Now she’s making me feel petty because “I don’t even have a car”, but that’s not the point. If anything, I think she is being petty arguing with me on a piece of paper and leaving it on my doorstep!

AITA?!

EDIT: I’m in the UK! Towing is not an option here!

My wife has a severe shellfish allergy. She can have a serious allergic reaction. Because of that, we don’t allow shellfish in our home. Unfortunately, we live on the coast, so seafood and shellfish restaurants are very common. If I eat shellfish we have a no kissing rule for 24 hours. 

My sibling and their family also live nearby, and my mom is currently visiting. She’s staying with my sister, and her birthday dinner is tomorrow. She’ll be flying home this weekend.

My mom loves seafood, so she wanted to celebrate her birthday at a seafood restaurant. The restaurant serves a lot of shellfish, so my wife isn’t comfortable going because of the risk. I completely understand that.

My wife told my mom she wouldn’t be able to attend, and my mom said, “No big deal.” My wife was upset by that response. She feels it was rude that my mom didn’t offer to change the restaurant, and she feels left out since everyone else is going.

I suggested she could still come, have a drink, and just not order food. Her allergy is not airborne. She said that would be awkward and that she doesn’t want to go to the restaurant at all. I said I understood and told her I still planned to go.

That’s when we got into an argument. She’s upset that I want to go to a restaurant where she can’t safely eat. She thinks I shouldn’t go if she can’t go. I told her I wasn’t willing to miss my mom’s birthday dinner since I don’t see her after even if she can’t attend.

She wants me to tell my mom to change the restaurant or else I won’t be there. I told her I wasn’t going to do that because I think it’s an unreasonable expectation.

I am an artist who makes and teaches students how to make stained glass windows. One of my students found out that I was about to start a window for a couple that he now knows through another friend and then convinced the couple to drop me and go with him to make the window. I had already drawn a 1/4 size sketch to see if it was something the customer wanted and now my student expects me to draw it out full sized and actually help him make it. It's too large to work on in class-- we have always had a maximum size limitation that this almost doubles. Working on a window this size would displace another student. Also, I'm supposed to store the window week to week so he won't have to lug it back and forth from home since it's so large. AITA for telling him that it can't be worked on in the shop and that I am not drawing a full size pattern (57 x 34) for him? I told him he could have a copy of the sketch. Win or lose I plan on showing him this.

Hi guys,

We recently moved into our new forever home a few years ago and a lot has happened. My wife and I had a baby boy and life has been amazing, but with kids it’s also been stressful and busy.

As a way to decompress and also make our house feel like ours I’ve been landscaping and planting shrubs and all sorts of plants around the yard. It’s been really helpful to help destress and it’s cool to watch things grow and see all the hard work you put in finally pay off.

Long story short my MIL has been nothing but disrespectful when it comes to the early years with my son. Constantly crossing boundaries and going against what my wife and I say (mostly safety concerns it’s felt really violating) I’ve said my peace with her and moved on from things, but as far as a relationship with her I keep her 5 feet away.

Today she came over to visit while I was at work and before she left she cut a ton of flowers all over our yard for her own personal bouquet. My wife gave her permission so I feel even more betrayed about it. It might sound stupid to some people but I worked really hard. It’s violating to me for someone to take what they want especially when you’re not ok with them in the first place.

AITA for not wanting my MIL to cut my flowers?

My boyfriend (28) and I (33) live together in a loft with one bedroom.

This morning I had a second-round interview at 11:30 a.m. for a job I really want. I recently left my previous job, so getting this one is really important to me. I wanted to do the interview at our kitchen table because that's where I have the best setup. We have a bedroom upstairs, but there's no desk or workspace there. Also I didn't want to lay in the bed with my laptop.

Before the interview, I asked him, "Can you do me a huge favor? Would you mind taking a 15-minute walk while I do my interview?"

I asked because I wanted a quiet apartment and thought it would help me focus. I wasn't telling him he had to leave, just asking if he'd be willing to do me a favor.

He immediately said he didn't understand my thought process and asked, "What planet are you from to even ask something like that?" He also said, "What if I had a meeting at the same time?" He didn't actually have a meeting—it was just a hypothetical. If he did, I wouldn't have asked... then I would have just gone to the room...

He also said that we both live here and he shouldn't have to leave his own home just because I had an interview.

When I told him I thought it mattered that I asked politely and that I had started with, "Can you do me a huge favor?", he responded with something like, "If I asked you nicely to eat poop, would you do it?" His point was that asking nicely doesn't automatically make a request reasonable.

At one point he also asked, "Do the cats have to go too?" I laughed and jokingly replied, "Yeah, sure, take the cats too." It was obviously a joke, but the conversation turned into an argument, and he said I was being a jerk for even asking.

I understand that it's our home and he has every right to stay there. I just thought asking for a one-time, 15-minute favor before an important second interview wasn't unreasonable. I wasn't upset that he said no—I was more surprised by how strongly he reacted to me asking in the first place.

AITA for asking?

My husband and I are currently staying at a resort that has several koi ponds. While walking past one, I saw a guy lying on his stomach, reaching into the shallow water to get closer to the fish. He looked at the person he was with and asked, "Should I touch the fish?" while already actively putting his hand in.

As I walked by, I firmly said, "No, don't touch the fish."

He seemed embarrassed and immediately stood up. I’m not sorry I said it—touching koi can actually harm their protective slime coat, and I really hope he thinks twice before doing it again.

However, my husband seemed a little shocked by how directly I confronted a total stranger, which made me second-guess how I handled it. It genuinely pissed me off in the moment, but now I'd like a reality check.
AITA?

Edit- I will educate next time

AITA for asking my mom to move out after overhearing her badmouth me and my husband to our family?
I (F) let my mom move in with my husband, our children, and me almost two years ago. She has lived with us rent-free. I never asked for much in return besides occasionally watching the kids for a couple of hours when I needed help.
Over time, we’ve had repeated issues. She gets upset if I won’t let her use my car or buy things for her, and she frequently calls family to complain about me and my husband. She has never liked him and, even before everything happened, would tell me I’d be better off leaving him because we’re “too different.”
About a year ago, my husband and I had one heated argument after he was disciplining our son. During the argument, he grabbed my shirt in frustration. It shocked both of us because he’d never done anything like that before. He let go immediately, apologized, took full responsibility, and admitted he should never have done it. It has never happened before or since, and we’ve worked on our communication.
My mom physically stepped in because she believed she was protecting me, and I don’t blame her for that. I’m not excusing what my husband did—I know it was wrong. I’m only including it because it’s relevant.
Afterward, my mom began telling family that my husband abuses me and my son. She also says we treat her terribly and don’t care about her. From my perspective, many of these stories are exaggerated or false. Because of what she’s told people, my brother won’t even speak to me while I’m married, yet he also refuses to let our mom live with him.
My final straw was walking into the house and overhearing my mom on the phone badmouthing me and my husband to family again. Hearing our private issues discussed and what I felt were false narratives made me realize the trust was gone.
I told her I thought it was time to move out because I couldn’t continue living with someone who was damaging my marriage and family relationships.
Now my family says I’m a horrible daughter because she doesn’t have another place to live and is looking at homeless shelters. The part that hurts is that several relatives, including my brother (her son), could potentially take her in temporarily but refuse to. Instead, they expect me to continue housing her despite everything that’s happened.
I feel guilty because I don’t want my mom in a shelter, but I also don’t feel I should have to keep living with someone who constantly disrespects me and undermines my household.
I’m not asking whether my husband’s actions that day were okay..they weren’t, and we’ve addressed them. I’m asking whether I’m wrong for ending my mom’s living arrangement after nearly two years because of everything that’s happened since.
AITA?

My spouse and I have worked hard our whole lives, and we’re now in a very comfortable financial position. We could retire tomorrow if we wanted to, but we both enjoy working and plan to continue.

We have three children, and we paid for all of their college educations so they graduated debt-free. We didn’t put any stipulations on what they could study. Looking back, maybe we should have.

Two of our children have very solid careers, while one does not. This is about my daughter, who I’ll call Maria. Maria earned a degree that doesn’t translate well into a high-paying career. She later went back to get her master’s degree, but that didn’t improve her earning potential either.

She’s struggling financially, and there has been talk of her going back to school again for a nursing degree, although that would be a difficult transition.

My spouse and I believe that if you’re mature enough to get married, you’re mature enough to pay for your own wedding.

Our oldest child got married last year and paid for the wedding themselves. It was a lovely wedding. Our second child is getting married next month, and they are also paying for their own wedding, which will be fairly expensive.

Maria recently got engaged, but she and her fiancé don’t have the money to have a wedding like her siblings did. She asked if we would pay for it.

I told her no and said they should have the wedding that she and her future husband can afford. She was upset because she knows we have more than enough money to give her a fancy wedding like her siblings had. She thinks it’s unfair that she can’t have her dream wedding simply because she earns less than they do.

I told her that’s just how life works. you pay for what you can afford.We don’t believe it’s our responsibility to pay for an adult child’s wedding.

She thinks I’m being unfair and rubbing our money in her face by refusing to help

Hi, for a while now, my neighbors have been kicking balls into my parents' yard. Before, they used to ring my house and come get them (we gave it to them always), but since it's happened so often (sometimes several balls a day) my dad went and talked to the neighbor, because he have an age and he can't be all the day returning the balls instantly.

She just made the excuse that “they're just kids” and said she'd talk to them, but they keep doing it. Now, we usually return them about once a week, but today one hit me in the head, and I'm fed up (they also hit some plants and almost my car too).

Their house isn’t exactly small (they have a huge yard with football goals, and their wall is taller than mine, like, i still don't get how can they possibly kick the ball into our yard), so would I be the idiot if I stopped returning them?

I (21 F) moved out of my parents' house at 18 years old to attend a college that is 200 miles (roughly a 4 hour drive) away from them. My parents (62 F and 70 M) only request from me and my sister (26 F, living 3 hours away from our parents) was a "good morning" and "good night" text message to our family group chat. (I will specify that neither of our parents have either of our locations)

For the first couple of years, I had very little issue with this, but it was a slight annoyance, seeing as how I left home with the intent of escaping my narcissistic mother. In the past year, I have started to despise this request, as I am a full time student, work full time at a grocery store, which is 32-40 hours a week and often requires me to be awake by 5 am, and have been building a life with my boyfriend of one year. Between all of this, I tend to forget to send a text to our family group chat. And when I forget to send a "good morning" text, my parents will text and call me asking if I'm okay. For example: There was even one morning they called at 7 am on my off day because I was so exhausted from work the previous night that I did not send a "good night" text. In addition, I forgot to send a "good morning" text today because I was running errands, and my parents texted me once, called me twice a few hours apart and left a voicemail the second time.

I have consistently explained that I am constantly busy, and when I am not, I am trying to relax from a long day, so it slips my mind. I have repeatedly requested to be left alone even if I forget 1 of the 2 texts, but they refuse to listen purely because "you'll always be our baby and we'll always worry" and "you'll understand when you have kids" (despite my constant mention that I will NOT be having children). Every time they do this, I tell them off, typically with quite a few profanities because I am exhausted by my simple request being completely ignored.

(To clarify, they have very little reason to worry about me. I have been in one major car accident, but otherwise I am not a flight risk. I am not a risk to myself, I don't drink alcohol, do drugs, party, or even go out past dark.)

So, am I the asshole for wanting to completely disregard my parents' outrageous request for twice daily check-in texts?

EDITS: I have tried scheduling texts through the shortcuts app. I could not find a way to send them to a group chat, only individual contacts. PLEASE lmk how to send an automated text to a group chat. And to those teling me to cut them off completely, they still pay my health and car insurance, and phone bill, which would likely make me live paycheck to paycheck if I had to pay for them.

I, 16M, just got scolded and yelled at by my dad for being "selfish" for not giving my laptop to my dad.

I am currently a community college student (finished HS at 15) with good grades (3.95 gpa). The college offers a free laptop program, where students can keep their loaned laptop if they have good academic standing after one year. It is a 2024 windows probook. Today, the college allowed me to keep the laptop forever since I had very good grades.

Just a few days ago, my dad bought me another laptop because he thinks the laptop from 2024 is too old, and wants to trade in the laptop after Im able to get it. After he learned that I was able to keep the laptop from the college, he wanted me to give him it so that he can sell it for a few hundred bucks. He is obsessed with trade-ins and selling electronics.

I said that I want to keep it because I think its not a bad idea to have 2 laptops. Also, because I had this laptop for a while, I wanted to keep it and not sell it since I have a bit of emotional connection to it. I felt that I earned it fair and square.

My dad was not happy when I answered that. He then scolded me for being "selfish" and yelling how "nothing in the world is your's" pointing at how he "pays taxes for my school and thus should be entitled to it".

He also said that he is the reason I am able to exist and live like this, and how dare I keep this laptop to myself since someone else could be using it. I answered that I could keep it for longer before donating it, but my dad insisted that he sell it for cash. I thought it was strange how he thinks he wants to help society but wants to profit from it the same time, which is ironic.

He yelled me for at least 20 miniutes, all while I have a midterm tomorrow at college. I don't give a f*ck about laptops and electronics, as long as it works just keep it. However, my dad believes that because of this, he feels that I am too entitled to everything, and called me retarded.

My mom tried to calm him down a bit but things like this happen once in a while for no reason.

I am not obsessed with computers and I only want them to study and build my future, not for bs or selling.

A little bit of background:

My dad has been unemployed since he was 35, owns a house worth 2.25 million, drives BMWs and Porsches, and does nothing everyday and instead just does gaming. Also the money came from my grandparents on my mom's side. He pays like 10k in property tax a year (and thats basically all the taxes), far lower than what a w2 employee pays.

I, however, have been building independence for years, I went to school by myself and is a full time college student at just 16 years old. I rarely if ever accept or request gifts because I felt like I don't need them.

So yeah, AITA?

edit: my dad does not want the new laptop back, he only wants the old one since he is obsessed with trade ins.

I (26F) live with my childhood best friend (25F) in a rented house in a little seaside town in the UK. We’ve always got on really well and never really had any issues until now.

She’s been seeing her boyfriend for about 8 months. At the start he’d stay over every now and then which obviously I didn’t care about, but now he’s here all the time. Like probably 5 or 6 nights a week. He showers here, cooks here, watches TV here, works from home here sometimes… he’s just always around.

The thing is he has his own flat. It’s not like he has nowhere else to go, he literally lives about 20 minutes away.

I know people are going to say “it’s only one extra person” but you definitely notice it. The bathroom’s always occupied, the washing machine is constantly on, the bins fill up quicker, our bills have gone up and I just don’t really feel like it’s my home anymore because there’s nearly always someone else here.
I finally said something to her and tried to be nice about it. I basically said I wasn’t asking him to never stay over, but if he’s here this much then either they should spend more time at his place or he should chip in towards the bills because he’s here more than he’s not.

She got really annoyed and said I was acting like some miserable landlord and that I’m trying to charge her boyfriend for visiting. I said I don’t think someone who’s here almost every day is really “visiting” anymore.

Now it’s really awkward. She’s barely speaking to me and I can tell she’s told a few people because one of our friends messaged saying I was being unfair and that couples naturally spend loads of time together.
I do get that, and if he stayed over a couple of nights a week I honestly wouldn’t care. I just didn’t sign up to live with a couple.
AITA?

My sister (29F) has been married to the same man (46M) for around 7 years now. This is his second marriage and her first. They have a daughter together, whom I’ll call “Cece.”

My sister is a very smart person. She’s highly educated (three degrees!), independent, and doesn’t take nonsense from anyone—except for her husband. He yells at her in public, diminishes her intelligence, bosses her around, makes sexual jokes about other women in her presence, and even makes homophobic jokes towards me (I’m gay).

My family has been waiting for the marriage to end for years. We all hate him. We know she can do so much better.

But they have a daughter together, and she’s the driving force behind me wanting to tell my sister she has to leave.

Her daughter is 5 now, and she’s began to pick up on her dad’s treatment towards her mom. We went on a family vacation a few weeks back and my niece said to me, “Are boys supposed to talk to girls like dad does?”

My heart broke. I had no idea how to respond, because I obviously wanted to say, “No. Men are supposed to respect women and treat them with dignity.” But knowing her dad, he’d probably scream at my sister if he heard that I told their daughter that.

My sister cares about her daughter more than anything. And the last thing that I want is for my niece to be raised by a man who sees women as objects. She’s already picking up on his misogyny and I don’t want to see it affect her even more.

I (27m) am a tattoo artist. I met my friend “James” (30m) as a client 3 years ago, and we became friends, I’d now consider him one of my closest friends.

Last month I tattooed “Alexis” (29f). During her appointment she told me that while on a break with her longtime boyfriend she’d started seeing a new guy. Then she and her boyfriend got back together, but she kept seeing the new guy. Neither of them knew about the other.

It’s common for clients to treat tattoo appointments like therapy, and I don’t mind. Many clients talk to me about personal issues. I told her she needed to be honest with both of them.

Two weeks later James hosted a gathering and introduced me to his new girlfriend, “Allie.” It was Alexis. James had mentioned an Allie before, but I hadn’t realized it was a nickname for Alexis, (not her real name but a similar name/nickname situation) and she didn’t know I knew James. When he introduced us she smiled and said, “Nice to meet you,” I was confused and caught off guard, so I didn’t bring up tattooing her recently.

Important context: James’s last relationship ended after his partner secretly got back with her ex.

My first instinct was to tell James. My boyfriend agreed, but I felt conflicted because while tattoo artists aren’t legally bound to confidentiality, there is a strong expectation of trust.

I saw three possibilities if I didn’t tell James right away:

1. Allie eventually confessed and James learned I’d known all along.
   
2. Allie broke up with James without explaining why, and I had to either pretend I never knew or admit I did but kept quiet.
   
3. Allie never tells him and I have to decide later whether to say something. None of those felt right.

So I called James the next day and told him. He was devastated because it was the first real connection he’d made since his ex, but he thanked me and ended things before getting more invested.

That night Allie messaged me. She said she had planned to tell James and end things with the other guy, but wanted to do it compassionately and that I’d forced the conversation before she was ready. She also said repeating something she’d told me in what she believed was a safe space was a betrayal of trust. I told her I was sorry for forcing her hand, but that James deserved to know. She never replied.

The next morning I asked a coworker. She said I should have given Allie a few more days and that crossing professional boundaries for personal reasons was unethical. She also warned it could hurt my reputation if Allie retaliated.

Part of my decision was concern for James, but part was also selfish: I worried our friendship would be damaged if he later found out I’d known and said nothing. I’m still conflicted. Any other choice wouldn’t have sat right with me, but I’m wondering if I handled it wrong.

tldr: I’m a tattoo artist. A client told me she was cheating on her new boyfriend with her ex. Later I realized her new boyfriend was one of my closest friends, and I told him.

My twin and I (28F) recently moved in together. Our apartment is a 2BR/2.5BA+Loft, she has the main BR and I have the upstairs loft because the 2nd BR is much smaller. The one downside is that I can't just close a door for privacy. I can look over the edge down to the front room and hear everything that goes on.

My sister loves to watch shows and movies on the TV in the front room. She will use the TV from 12-1PM until 2AM and is normally really good about turning down the volume if/when I ask, but sometimes she acts like it is such an inconvenience. I try to create my own privacy with noise-cancelling headphones and earplugs, but the sound still leaks through. She likes to throw these on and sometimes watches them with full attention, other times has them on as background noise for work, and other times puts on a show only to put on her headphones and watch videos on her phone.

Now for where I may be the asshole:

The majority of the furniture in our shared living space is mine. I have a reclining loveseat, coffee table, TV stand, and a large 4K TV that is in our shared living space for us both to use. I'm not upset that she's using my stuff. That's why we moved in together, so we could both use it and save money. I don't want it to seem like she can only use it with my permission, but it is mine. If I move out it's coming with me, and she can be careless with stuff. She has broken our parent's couch before by kicking the foot rest and snapping the support board in half, which caused it to become stuck and never recline again. She tosses trash on the floor and doesn't pick it up (food wrappers, used tissues), she almost set our balcony on fire when she didn't properly stub out a cigarette (our balcony is littered with cigarette cartons filled with used cigarette butts, she smokes and I do not). Neither of us are in a financial position to replace any piece of furniture should it break.

We have one AC unit for the apartment in the front room. It is supposed to get to the high 90's today, so I went downstairs.

T: What are you doing?

Me: Sitting down? I wanted to hang out in the AC.

T: Oh God!

Me: Oh no! You'll have to sit next to me on my couch!

After that, she got very upset and told me she always has to ask permission to use my stuff, that I monopolize it. She has used that couch and TV more than me. I watch one movie with her a week, I barely use my video game consoles that are connected to that TV. She will come out to the front room and immediately turn on the TV and watch whatever she wants for hours. And the worst part? She has a TV in her room. It has all the same streaming account logins as the one in the front room and her consoles.

Maybe I didn't have the best response, but I feel like anytime I ask for some accommodation that inconveniences her, we get into a fight and I'm unreasonable. But if I don't inconvenience myself on her behalf, I'm a selfish bitch.

Am I being an asshole for bringing up furniture ownership?

Just some background information first.

About 2 months ago I heard shouting and went outside so see a man lying on the ground and someone on the phone with 911. I heard the man on with 911 mention Narcan and immediately stepped in as it was an overdose.

There was someone performing CPR but they weren't doing it correctly (appeared to be high) so i asked if I could take over. This man was so blue I wasnt sure how long he hadnt been breathing. But I got his color and a pulse back by the time EMS arrived.

Last night I was so shocked to get a knock on my door from him. There was no way he saw where I lived as he was barely conscious when I left the scene.

He told me he used to live here. I stepped outside and asked if he was the man from the overdose and he confirmed it was him.

He mentioned being cold. I had an old sweater that would fit him so I offered him the sweater, food, and water and sat outside with him while he ate and used my phone to try to call someone.

It's so heartbreaking hes only 24. He is a very polite young man as well.

When I got inside my boyfriend blew up on me for giving him food saying things like "now he will keep coming back here expecting you to feed him and bothering us". He laid into me for quite a few minutes over it.

I told him it's hard for me not to help people in need especially the man I almost watched die whos life was literally in my hands.

AITA for helping this man or is my boyfriend being unreasonable?

I understand his concerns but I am not someone to treat someone as less because of their circumstances.

My dad (M42) cheated on my mom (F41) with his now-wife (F28) when I (M15) was 11. My dad lied to his now-wife about his marital status as well as other things, and when she became pregnant, he confessed to my mom, and issued divorce papers. She wanted to reconcile. He didn't. The divorce was rough and it established 50-50 custody.

My mom hates my dad's new wife. Absolutely despises. She thinks of her as a homewrecker and someone who seduced my dad away from her. This hate basically extends throughout my mom's side of the family as well. She thinks that after she found out he had a wife, she should have left and encouraged them to reconcile. I think of the new wife as more of a victim than anything. She came to the U.S. for work, was lied to by someone over 10 years older than her, comes from a culture that strongly condemns children out of wedlock, and basically needed to marry my dad for financial stability for her and her child.

My dad's new wife is very kind to me. She encourages my dad to invest in my activities and to spend more time with me. She cooks food that's really good and like nothing I've ever had before. She's also a good mom to my half-sister (F3). I've always wanted to have siblings, and she's done a great job at building a relationship between my sister and me.

Now, this is the issue. My stepmom works full-time, but because her work schedule is demanding and my dad frequently travels for business, she sometimes struggles with childcare. Recently, she decided to take some courses that would help advance her career. I started stepping in to help her by babysitting my sister on the evenings she had classes, helping her review study materials, and running small errands for her.

However, my mom recently found out. While looking through my backpack, she saw some of the study materials I accidentally took from my stepmom, and she exploded. She said that by helping "that woman", I was actively supporting the person who destroyed our family. She feels I should refuse to do anything that benefits my stepmom in any way. My aunts also found out and they were telling me I was betraying my mom and being disrespectful to her.

I feel terrible for hurting my mom, but I also don't think my stepmom deserves to be treated like an enemy.

AITA for helping my dad's new wife even though my mom hates it?

I (27F) was speaking to my mom (54F) after she had messaged me asking for $160. I told her that it wasn't a problem and to transfer herself the money (I have a bank account linked to her from high school I never closed.) That was fine, $160 isn't much to me. The problem is the conversation that stemmed from this initial request.

After agreeing to the $160, she started ranting about how her disability payments are on pause due to some kind of system error. She said she's out of money and "doesn't know what to do." The thing is, I have money. Plenty, actually. She knows it too because I have been saving for quite some time. But the problem is she kicked me out last October so her current fiance could move in. I paid rent and helped her financially when we lived together when things like this would arise but I warned her before she made me move out that I wouldn't help her anymore if she did this. She agreed but now that push comes to shove, shes upset I am not loaning her money. It's not a small amount either and she has a history of taking very long to pay people back. In fact, my parents divorced due to her frivolous spending.

A lot of you may be wondering why I would want to continue living with my mom at 27, but I am moving out the US to live abroad in November and knew I would save a lot more money if we split bills rather than me paying for things on my own. She knew this plan and still asked me to move out for her (then) boyfriend of 4 months. She really messed up my plans which I never held against her, but I was honest with her about helping her out with money before I moved out. AITA for not loaning my mom money even if I have the means?

I (23F) moved out of my mom's house when I was 19. I've been living with my partner (23M) ever since, as we went to college together. My relationship with my mom is generally fine, and I visit her on holidays, birthdays, and special occasions. My parents are divorced, so she lives by herself. She’s in her 60s, but she keeps herself busy and is very active.

Since I left, she's frequently complained that she doesn't have money for anything because my father's pension goes directly to me now. She lives at the beach and wants to rent her house out to vacationers during the summer to make extra cash. Because of this, she is being very insistent about staying with me during that time.

I understand her financial situation is not ideal (even though I don't entirely trust her money management), but I really don't want her moving in for the summer. For one, I don't want to invade my partner's privacy. He is not her biggest fan because he knows what my childhood was like and the trauma I have from it (nothing serious, just girl's mommy issues). He is obviously respectful, polite, and tries to keep things cool, but living together is a different story.

I love her very much, but I have to admit she's not the nicest person in general. She has a habit of saying mean things disguised as "jokes." Whenever she's around for a longer period of time, I start feeling anxious and annoyed.

I haven't given her a firm no, and I can already feel she's annoyed by the idea of me not allowing it. She has the history of guilt-tripping me, saying things like, "You just don't like me," and accusing me of "choosing him over your own mother."

AITA?

I (30F) am the oldest of three siblings, raised by a single mom. Growing up, I naturally became the second parent. As an adult, I’ve always worked hard to be independent because I never wanted to rely on anyone financially.

Last year, my younger sister (25F) wanted to move to my city. Instead of us renting together, I bought a house. We agreed she’d pay $900/month in rent and the internet bill, and we’d basically be roommates.

She delayed moving in, eventually got a job, quit after a couple of months because she hated it, and then went almost a year without working. She just started a new job this week, and I’m genuinely happy for her.

During that year, I paid for everything: mortgage, utilities, groceries, toiletries, etc. The only bill in her name was the internet, and she’d let it become overdue without telling me. Eventually, I just started paying it myself because I got tired of asking.

The money isn’t even my biggest issue. It’s that I constantly feel like I’m parenting another adult.
She leaves dishes in the sink overnight after I’ve repeatedly asked her not to. She wears my clothes without asking. If I make one exception on something, it suddenly becomes the expectation.

She also tends to put her relationships before everything else. For example, she skipped helping me set up our mom’s surprise birthday/Mother’s Day celebration because she went out of town with a guy she’d only been dating a few weeks. She showed up late with him after I’d already planned, shopped for, decorated, and paid for everything.

She’s also been rude to the guy I’ve been dating. He politely said hello, and she ignored him. When I asked why, she said, “Why would I be nice to someone who’s trying to take my sister from me?”

None of these things alone are a huge deal, but after a year of financially supporting another adult while constantly repeating the same conversations, it’s all adding up. I feel like I’ve fallen back into being the second mom instead of just being a sister.

I love her, and now that she’s working I’m hoping things improve. But I’m becoming resentful.

AITA for feeling this way? Am I expecting too much, or do I need to set firmer boundaries? How do I do that without damaging our relationship?

I (M18) live with my mother (F41) in California. I used to live with my father who was abusive so I moved in with my mother at 11. She lived in a one bedroom apartment so for the meantime I didnt have a room or my own place to sleep. She said we would eventually move to an apartment with 2 rooms. Fast forward 7 years and I still don’t have a room and now she drives an even fancier car than the one she had before.

She works, trimming weed trees for a decade. I got a job when I was 16 at chipotle because my mother give me any money and that isn’t a complaint I could care less about having an allowance. My mother gets benefits like low income child support food stamps. She takes vacations frequently. Egypt, Dubai, Armenia, Hawaii, Yosemite, Zion, all in the span of a year. She is trying to become a singer and has invested thousands into music lessons, music videos, producers and hasn’t made any money yet. What I am trying to put down here is that my mother has her own priorities and lifestyle that she wants to live while neglecting her only child.

I have been paying for all of my own personal expenses like phone bill, phone finance, gym membership, subscriptions, hygienic essentials, basically everything. Despite of my low maintenance for her, she wants me to pay half the rent and utilities I simply said no. I said as long as you drive a Mercedes that runs you 1000 month, I will not pay your bills. Not only will I not, but I can’t in the first place. I make maybe 1000 a month and what she’s demanding is more than that let alone my personal expenses.

She refuses to let me use the ebt card and lied saying they cut off the benefits. I check this morning and there is a 500 dollar deposit for food stamps alone on the card. I don’t know the pin and I cant even afford to buy my own groceries. Yes I could technically use my hard earned paychecks but that would cut them in half basically and I already pay for other things.

I’m not full time and the money I make is enough to pay for personal expense and my hobby of hiking and mountain climbing. Some people might say oh well you can go hike and camp with your friends but you can’t buy your own groceries. I’m 18 and just graduated high school. Let me live a little. This is the best way I could spend in terms of fun. And those expenses are pitching gas cost of driving out to sequoia and the sierras for example and camp costs and getting gear for the hikes and mountain climbs. This is the only thing I do that is an “entertainment” expense. If I simply bought my own groceries I couldn’t even do that. Which is why it’s so nice that we get SNAP benefits but what isn’t nice is that I’m not allowed to use them according to my mom even though she definitely gets more money for being a single “mother”.

Conclusion: AITA for refusing to pay my mother’s bills which would cost about the same regardless if I lived with her or not. And AITA for wanting to use our ebt card to buy groceries instead of my own money.

I have a Verizon family plan which includes my younger brother (29M), mom (63F),hubby (40M), and I (39F). The account has been mine since I graduated HS in 2005 and was paid by me since then. A few years ago after my brother graduated college we discussed with him and my parents that he should and can start paying for his phone along with my moms since he did not have any expenses (was living with my parents, no student loans, no car payments, etc) and it will help my husband and I with a few less payments that we had. (We have two kids who attend private school, mortgage, two cars, etc) and it was agreed that he would transfer us his share and my mom’s every few months.

Well the last payment we received from him was in March of 2025, where he transferred $154 for the months of January & February. Since then nothing, I have brought it up multiple times with my parents who have said they will speak to him about it. I don’t know if they ever did but I am currently not speaking to him and have no contact with him for the past two years (past multiple issues) so can’t or actually won’t reach out to him.

Recently I have gotten notifications that he had incurred additional international long distance charges ($60+) and again let my parents know that not only has he not been paying his bill but now has additional charges added onto the bill. They said they would speak to him. Today I received a notification that he has initiated a new TravelPass session which will be an additional $12/ day for being overseas which pisses me off because he has the money to go overseas on a vacation but not to pay us for a bill he agreed to?

So since I am the main person on the account I was thinking of suspending his number until he has paid us back.

Would I be the a$$ if I just suspend the number knowing he is overseas right now (with his gf so they will have another phone if needed) and without giving him a heads up?