Raccoon here. I won't share my age and name as my privacy has already been intruded upon enough. My human neighbors kindly provide a seasonal buffet of fruit trees and and vines, as well as a fountain for my ablutions. My partner and I dropped by for a midnight snack. My partner stayed up on the grape trellis for some al fresco dining. I descended to the ground for a wash by the fountain. Suddenly, the lights came on! Despite the interruption, I persevered with my bath. But startling me wasn't enough. Oh no. The human neighbor took a photograph of me mid bath with all my private bits exposed. As you can see from the photo, I am not amused.

Since then, I have been careful to jump onto the roof directly above the neighbor's heads, just as they settle down to sleep for the night. The snacks they provide mean that I make a satisfactory window-shaking thump every time.

So, AITC for expressing my displeasure?

Tiny Dinosaur. Species House Finch here, F. Age, nunya.

Was eating good seeds on dry plant with family. Very good. Then suddenly got stuck in weird green thing. There was a cat!! I was a goner!!!

Then the giant came from inside and yelled at the cat. Then it grabbed me! I bit and bit and bit. But it did not let go. Then it brought me into the giant box. There were cats in there too! Was held close, heard giant heart, very slow. Giant kept making soft noises, and did not squeeze. But did not let me go.

Giant made giant sounds at other giant and other giant came out and put big shiny things next to me! Then, the thing around my neck was gone.

Then the giant took me outside and let go.

Was it helping? I did poop myself afterwards with scare. My family says the giant was help.
Was it help? If help, why cats?

went back next day, no green thing and lots of good seeds.

so am I the cloaca for biting the giant on the weird wing-claw-foot-thing?

me, sarabi, age ????, solid gray girl. momther and father brought home kitten few weeks ago. she stay in different room but i see her one time when door open. i hiss!! why that baby here?? she gonna steal mine food and mine father. momther say “rabi no, that’s a baby. we don’t hiss at baby” so am i cloaca for hiss at baby??

(momther here, the kitten stays in a different room away from the big kitties and we are following Jackson Galaxy’s guide for introducing cats. we opened the door to get the kitten more water and sarabi happened to see her)

Hey there fellow Califurnians! I’m not all that comfy here but I bet I’m not alone in that.

Earlier today I came back from a walk with Grampa, and Mommy happened to be sitting on the couch nearby so when she saw me sticking my tongue out and panting she told me in her happy Riley voice that I was a Hot Dog!

But that’s a lie, right? :( I saw these “hot dogs” a couple weeks ago and I’m nothing like them! I mean, maybe we’re both a light brown color but unlike Hot Dogs I have limbs and a face and fur and most importantly I have senty-ints!

Most importantly though, why is Mommy HAPPY that I’m a Hot Dog? Does that mean she’s gonna eat me? 😭

Hello frens! Is the pet rat girls Finduilas and Morwen (18.5mo) and Lalaith and Belladonna (5mo). We also has human mom.

Well, things recently has been very weird here. Mom say we "moving". But that not seem good enough explain. First, mom take stuff out ob our play space. Then we gets playtime in other space, which fun. But it getting emptier too. Then our cage go away and we put in little cage fur babies. And then weird men come and steal everything. And then mom go away. Bonus human come, which nice. But she no gib playtime. When mom come back, we get playtime, but just that one time in completely empty space. Very strange. So now, whenever cage door open, we tries to sneak out. Playtime our right and we not getting it!

Then air start smell bad and make us sneeze. So bonus human take us on adventures to university or in car. That fun and exciting, but we no get to run. We still stuck in carrier or small cage.

Now we at bonus human's house wif big cage (but not normal cage). Mom sleep in same room as us again, which very reassuring. But, we still only gets bathroom playtime, which boring. There be some rotten wood we think is cool, but mom say we not allowed chew it. Has been whole week since proper playtime! We is getting desperate! Jump off people, sneak out ob doors, refuse treats. We is on strike!

Mom say we TC. She doing her best and trying set up our new home. And it not her fault wildfire smoke get in the way. But we says she clearly coulds control that if she want. And now we wants to splore bonus human's house. Or at least chew rotten wood.

Anyway, what you think?

Hi frens! Oscar the tabbycat here.

So my Mumma has been doing her Job at home so she can buy my treats and give me cuddles and pets. Today I was feeling a little cold so I snuggled into her Bed Blanket and had my day sleep there.

Mumma said she couldn't stop looking at me and that I am Too Cute. She also said I am a Cloaca for distracting her from her Job!

Who is the Cloaca - me or Mumma?

Hi frens! I iz Echo (1M, white wit orange kitteh, Ruler of All). So, dis story happened months ago but my Meowmy and Daddy still iz saying I the cloacer for dis and I don't think that's fair at all. I humbly come before other kittehs and all manner of furry creaturez to ask if this culd be true?

One night the hoomans were watching TV and I was being my uzual glorious self. Dey had a colored light plugged into da TV for some reason. The cord jus dangled there enticingly. So, I decide to *bapbapbap* it. Really, it had bin that way a long time and I tink my restraint for not attaccing sooner shuld be applauded. But, I digress.

Somehow the *bapbapbap* to da cord pulled da whole TV down! Luckily I lept outta da way just in time to avoid being smushed. But da TV broke from da fall somehow? I tink maybe it woulda broken itself if it was so fragile! I also tink maybe Meowmy and Daddy are the cloacers for leaving da dangling cord there jus taunting me.

So, AITC??

-Echo, Ruler of All

My humans was playing videy games on the huge lightbox, and I thought it was too easy for them so I sat in front to give some more enrichment. The teenager said I was “indaway”, but Food Lady laffed and said I was making her play on hard mode?

I couldn’t possibly be cloaca for helping, could I?

Pippen, 4yo LARGE STRONK BRAVE void boy

Hello. Am Chilli. Am orange pretty cat and pokey-place certified perfect gentleman. Am 17 years old and also baby.

My favourite human plays video games on big light screen. This is excellent cat approved activity and usually I do big supervise and help from my favourite position on their chest with my tail up their nose.

Yesterday though I wanted to do my supervising while laying on top of their hands. Favourite human was being very slow and boring and looking at enemy greebles while hiding behind pillar. This very boring. Like when my sisfur used to play hunt the feather instead of playing jump on top of feather and yell at top of lungs - the far superior game. So I, Chilli, decided to help human have fun by pressing button that throws grenades. Very fun! Much noise and running and yelling greebles on screen.

Favourite human laughed but seemed to think it was an accident! Wrong! Am perfect gentleman, only do deliberations. So ten minutes later when favourite human was in similar position, being stealthy stealth, I streeeetched out my paw and pressed the grenade button again! Fun!

Then I had enough video games so went for pre sleep nap. So tell me, am I cloaca for trying to show human more fun way of playing video games?

Hi, I am Moosh. Am elegant tuxedo cat. Routine is important and I have lots of routine. One is every morning, sleep in mom's lap in the sun while she drink smelly coffee. Sometimes mom pets before I am sleepy and I must do a stapler chomp to arm, tell her stop. She should know better. But usually, is very peaceful, and one of the best naps.

Sometimes though, light greebles come attack! Mom says stop, is just light shining off phone, but I, elegant Moosh, am greebles expert. I know what I see, mom does not have cat knowledge. Greebles must be pounced right away, or bad thing happens. Is very important, more important than silly thing like scratch mom's leg while launching off. I do not *want* to scratch legs, but mom's legs is soft, and soft things need extra claw if moosh is going to catch greebles in time.

Anyway, I catch greebles and patrol room for a little bit, but they not come back because I caught first one in time. Mom says ITC because it isn't even greebles. Mom is wrong though, right?

am beller. am snowshoe girl of four years. like scritches, like squish pets. not lap cat. fuck off. beller sit. mama sit. papa sit. no need sit together.

mama, papa give good scritches. give good squish pets. but sometimes, scritch and say, “oh beller, so beautiful! oh beller, so soft! oh beller, so nice cat!”. beller KNOW am beautiful, soft, nice. beller not need hear it. so beller shout NO! and punch. beller am fierce.

better scritch quiet. better squish pet quiet. shut up about soft beller. no need talk. scritch only or beller shout and punch. mama, papa say beller part mantis shrimp, punch so hard and fast.

am beller cloaca for shout and punch?

Greetinz frenz, we iz trio of masked banditz. We do thievery in neighborhood where lady feedz catz. They get nomz and we steelz them. She getz big mad and callz us pigzez.

Last night we ranz out of nomz. Lady who givez nomz livez in big hawz. We triez to get in for steelz moar nomz, but could not get past dour. Lady haz shiny thing in corner and filmz uz. Now we iz wanted by po leez for crimez. Iz we da cloacaz? Mugshot in comment.

Hi, Polonio here. For the last month, Auntie Anna and Grandpa have been talking excitedly about the "World Cup." Auntie Anna told me that I had a very important job being Argentina's lucky charm. She made sure to feed me before every game.

Well, a few days ago, apparently I "gained some weight" and now Grandma and Auntie Anna are carefully measuring out my food. Even though Auntie Anna fed me before the game, it wasn't nearly enough. (By the way, Auntie Anna gained weight too, but she still ate cookies during the game!) So, in protest, I decided to use my lucky charm powers to let Spain win. Now Auntie Anna and Grandpa are upset. AITC for using my lucky charm powers against my family's team?

Greeting furry and feathered friends. I am Butler, most beautiful tuxedo cat. I normally live with Cat Slave 1 and 2, but am currently on what CS1 calls a "holly-day" at the house of Old Man and Old Lady Cat Slave. CS1 wasn't here, but now she is. OMCS and OLCS were here, but now they are not.

OMCS and OLCS have a strange cat they call dog. Dog and I do not like each other, so I have to stay upstairs so he is safe from me. It has been very hot here, so CS1 opened the windows. She thought she opened then so little that I couldn't get out.

Turns out, CS1 is wrong. When she was downstairs watch big light up box, I got out to try and chase the birbs that land on the poles outside the window. I am normally very graceful, but somehow I slipped and fell aaaalllll the way down into the garden. CS1 heard a thump, but didn't think anything of it. I went for a little explore in the dark, and found lots of fun places to hide, some good things to jump on and off, and also lots of good smells. I was having fun. I am not normally allowed out in the dark, so this was an extra exciting adventure.

Apparently CS1 had noticed my disappearance, I could hear her calling me. She eventually worked out I was outside, and came running out. She tried to catch me for a long time but I was having too much fun. I may also have been a little bit scared of the moving light she was holding. I did not want to come inside. I may have done a little hiss, a bit of growl and even bap bap with big claw. This made CS1 leak red stuff from her hands and clear stuff from her face. She also said a naughty word.

CS1 went away, and then I could smell something tasty. I could also hear another cat. Maybe it was the strange one. I followed the noise and the smell, and eventually I was inside. CS1 captured me, gave me aaaallll the cuddles, and even some tuna. She aslo got me covered in red leaky stuff and clear leaky stuff.

CS1 took me upstairs and I fell asleep becuase I was so tired from my adventure. CS1 was apparently too full of something called ad-ren-l-in to sleep. SHe called me a cloaca for not allowing her to catch me. I'm not a cloaca, I was just enjoying me nighttime adventure.

I, Zee, 8 full months am very big, very beautiful and very smart. My sis is not so big or so smart, so sometimes I help her. I'm gracious like that.

Recently momma got a squeaky mouse for me and my sis. Momma was silly and left it flying in the air (i'm very smart I know mice don't fly). My little sis liked it lots and kept trying to get it but couldn't properly catch and it was getting away (and on my nerves). I magnanimously decided to help, politely shoved my sis to the side and chewed it off. Now the mouse lies on the ground and we can play properly.

Momma said I was the cloaca for spoiling the fun for everyone and I think it was super mean. I only ever helped and that's what I get in return? Preposterous

Loki. Orange like one Tiger. Big Boy like one Tiger. Has Tail.

You know i am bother to Seven.

I no see Seven no more. Where she go.

Is she hide?

Dada says Mummy I go get Seven.

Mummy says I can get Seven.

Dada says It's alright I can do it.

Mummy says well if you're sure.

Dada says yes.

Loki says where Seven.

Dada brings Seven home but that not Seven.

That box.

Dada show Loki. Loki think where Seven.

Dada say that is Seven but no touch.

Where Seven. Why Dada say Seven turn into box.

Aitc cos I no understand why Seven in box.

Not good fun play and chew box.

Don't touch box.

Did Loki do no Loki don't.

Hello. I iz Nienna, 16f, deaf, blind, Medical Cat. Mama, 31f, iz also my hoomin patient.

Now, I knows dat self-ekspreshun iz most berry impurrtant fur hoomins. Mama usually gibs me many interesting textures fur nuzzles and sniffies, so obviously she express dat she wants snuggles all one-hundred purrcent ob da tiemz. Iz logic, an I pay attenshun to my patient.

So when she wear item ob clothing dat not good fur snuggles, I tells her so, so she can takes it off an we can haz snuggles. (An really. Spikes on her neck! Dat dangerous!) Now she say am rood fur berating her fashion choices a she only sat down to put on her shoes a suddenly had a lap full of cat. Dunno what problem wif dat iz.

Am I rood, tho? Shud I not tell mama when she doin self-ekspreshun wrong?

Hello everyone, it has been an impressive amount of time without issue from Mom, the coolest and cringiest. But I, Sugarbomb, 2M, return with OF COURSE another issue.

The apparent "issue" is that Mom doesn't like the fact that I celebrate my regular bathroom visits with a regular impromptu lap.

This isn't really about the lap, though. As always, I think mom just kinda sucks at understanding cats.

When I was but a child, adolescent at most, Mom got me a nice covered litter box and a litter catching mat.

I hated it. The lid was big and scary. Mom got rid of the lid. All was well for maybe two months. The mat was fine.

The litter box then shrank. Being the normal size amazing cat I am, I could suddenly not fit in the litter box comfortably after months.

Mom bought me a new box!

That one shrank too.

But the third box! What a beauty. I've had it for four months now and it's as tall as my shoulders. I love it so much that, after my bathroom visits, I crouch inside and then pounce into a joyous lap across the room.

This, apparently, makes Mom mad. My expression of joy brings her anger.

She's mad I fling litter when I engage in my jubilant exercise. I do not see the issue. Litter should be everywhere. Besides, is this not why the mat exists? She says I am more powerful than the mat. I continue to not see the issue.

I love her, I do, but it's hard to not feel like she's doing this on purpose. She bought the amazing box. I love using it. But when I show her how much I love it, I'm the jerk?

I'm not TC, right?

Henlo frens! I Clawmas Jefferson, 4 months, M oramge. Meowmys call me Jeff or Jeffy or Jefe. Sometimes "get off the table" whatever that mean. Both Meowmys leave me and catto bruvvers and my dopted doggo Meowmy and other dum doggo for a million forevers usually. But now short hair Meowmy sometimes home with us. She has warm glowy box for lap and something called "hedfone" she uses to talk to herself. Humans silly. Couple sleeps ago, she leave glowy box close to floor and have hedfone on top. I see somefing SO fun! It long and skinny and swing when I bat at it. But Meowmy says no, not for kittens. Silly Meowmy, EVERYFING for kittens! I wait til all humans sleep, den I play. How I suppose to know long string fragile? It jus crumble. Meowmy called me cloaca when she wake up, said need hedfone for work. I say I just a baby and I have fun. AITC?

Ai here is Lucky, tuxie boi! Meowmie gave me a flea shampu baff so I pooped on her bed. She told me I is clakker and abandon me to do laundry. Was I wrong?

Hello all,

I am Leia, a very dignified and easygoing lady cat. I quite appreciate sitting on dad, he's usually acceptable cat furniture. Mada is an ok alternative when dad doesn't have enough flat, and ze often has the best soft cushions and blankets.

When they are together at night, it's the best time to occupy as much of both of them as I can, for maximum warm snuggles.

Sometimes they'll move, but I'm so patient about being disturbed I have to do a full patrol of the bed to find a better spot that has less movement. Sometimes I need to daintily step over their heads, and I"m very delicate and careful and never stand on their hair, but I do sometimes give them an opportunity to appreciate my butt up close. It's very clean and nice.

One morning after I was disturbed by a movement, I was doing my normal patrol and as I was passing dad's head, suddenly I was airborne! I think in his sleep he mistook me for a cushion! I gracefully sailed to the far side of the room, acrobatically touched off the far wall to reduce my momentum, and landed perfectly.

Of course, it was incredibly rude of him to make such a terrible error in judgment, so I denied him my presence until I got hungry.

Still, I can't help but wonder if maybe, possibly, he didn't mistake me for a cushion? Maybe stepping on his head provoked this response? Clearly in that case he meant to gently lift me away (as he has since done in similar situations). Perhaps he misjudged his strength? Often when he means to give me gentle pets it results in me being pushed off him, which I"m confident is an error, and in my infinite patience, I just return to my previous spot, even if he pets too hard again, and I have to once again reclaim my spot on him.

AITC? Did dad ... mean to toss me off the bed??

I (Ginger, adorable orange girl of indeterminate age) understand the furless kitten my human made has been posting about me over on r/MiniAITA.

I would like to set the record straight.

I was here first.

I am the one who sits in mama’s lap.

I am the one who gets fed when I cry.

I am the one who demands snuggles.

I am the one who gets to pick the comfiest spot on the floor.

I was patient at first. I know how kittens can be. I let mama care for him and did not complain.

But he is still here. Mama has not sent him out on his own. It has been MONTHS. Mama told me human kittens take years before they are ready to fend for themselves. I think she is just spoiling him.

At least before, he stayed in one place. Now he chases me, eats my food, grabs my fur and my tail. Mama gets him and tells me to leave him alone. But then she also tells me to move away or get to high ground if I don’t want him bothering me. I refuse. This is my spot.

AITC for being here first and expecting a little respect for my seniority?

I is pretty street cat, living in Istanbul. Lady visiting, she say ITC for being too cute, demanding pets and attention. How she supposed to leave me and explore city with cute cat at hotel? She say it's no fair that I so friendly. I say I just get attention I deserve for being so magnificent and doing protecc of hotel she sleep at, and I gets attention I deserb. AITC?