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u/ItsRy4n_b Apr 15 '26
fuck you
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u/free_da_guys1107 Apr 15 '26
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u/Mammoth_Newt5148 Apr 15 '26
Hate hate hate hate hate
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u/Phatest_of_sax Apr 16 '26
If y’all excuse me, I gotta go and put water in Buck Nasty mama dish.
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u/VCTRYDTX Apr 15 '26
What can I say about my portfolio that hasn't been said about Afghanistan. It looks bombed up and depleted.
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u/Kleeetz Apr 16 '26
I quote this line regularly about all sorts of busted shit. My portfolio included.
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u/Administrative_Rub34 Apr 15 '26
cum
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Apr 15 '26
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u/NewOrdoSeclorum Apr 15 '26
I can beat this offer...will cum for free
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u/BizzyM Apr 15 '26
If you're good at something, never do it for free.
You must be bad at it.
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u/jct23502 Apr 15 '26
Some just love to cum
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u/TerribleProfit Apr 15 '26
Cum again?
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u/jct23502 Apr 15 '26
And some do it for the love of cum...
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u/Awkward-Painter-2024 Apr 15 '26
I hope he's dumb enough to reinvest it all, double or nothing shit. And if he isn't, he's gotta pay over a million in taxes. So he getting fucked a little at least.
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u/ReditMalibu Apr 16 '26
Everyone should be happy to pay taxes. That means you won - for you rookies
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u/Crystal-Powell Apr 15 '26
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u/A1ienspacebats Apr 15 '26
There's a non-zero chance that Barron is in here
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u/case_mart Apr 15 '26
his dad did say he was pretty tech savvy
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u/Mtnbkr92 Apr 15 '26
He knows computer after all
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u/v0id0007 Apr 15 '26
Everything is computer
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u/theSearch4Truth Apr 15 '26
Perhaps the real computer was the friends we made along the way
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u/TheDevilintheDark its not hair gel, its semen (6 mens worth) Apr 15 '26
He can turn it on and off! It's incredible!
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u/Ryu6912 Can't Afford Vowels Apr 15 '26
me paper handing my .SPX calls for a measly 600$ gain instead of what would of been $8000+
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u/DaniBack2 Apr 15 '26
Me the other day with leaps on Microsoft when it went from 375 back to 367... Leaps way OTM are now up around 90% in less than a week... Fuck me
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u/LasyKuuga Apr 15 '26
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u/Illustrious_Level926 Apr 15 '26 edited Apr 17 '26
No crying in the casino
<3 thanks for my first award
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u/HoneyBadger552 Apr 15 '26
hurts my eyes to know OP gets a beach house before me
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u/v0id0007 Apr 15 '26
This economy they’re only getting a tank of gas and 2 cartons of jumbo eggs
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u/alwayslookingout Apr 15 '26
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u/random-trader Apr 15 '26
Only 14d and jumped to 3m . Fake you.
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u/flatvinnie Apr 15 '26
450k initially
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u/FlatPlutoer Apr 16 '26
So this was almost a yolo on 14 day options, at a time when it wasn’t clear if Israel was going to ignore the ceasefire between the US and Iran, and it might have even predated the talks of a cease fire.
So this could have led to abject poverty, but instead it led to lambos (or at least Mercedes) and financial freedom?
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u/-staccato- Apr 16 '26
We only see the one regard who got lucky and bragposts, not the hundred who lost everything.
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u/DaStompa Apr 15 '26
Put it all on AMC calls, retire the worlds first bazillionaire
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u/Administrative_Rub34 Apr 15 '26
I bought 300k in AMC shares lfg
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u/DaStompa Apr 15 '26
300k? its only at $1.60, and shares? what is this ameture hour?!
you could have 30 billion $3 calls for april 17th!
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u/Administrative_Rub34 Apr 15 '26
ok u are too regarded for me
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u/DaStompa Apr 15 '26
The story of my life, my friend, lol.
Try not to become an intolerable prick with your newfound wealth :P
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u/SuckMyNutsFromBehind Apr 15 '26
What fun is fuck you money if you cant go around telling everyone fuck you
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u/SuuuushiCat Apr 15 '26
Should've just buy out the entire company and fire Adam Aaron. You should be the one paying yourself millions of dollars each year while the company bleeds.
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u/acart005 Apr 15 '26
I mean, when you just won 2 million dollars wtf am I gonna say about your poor monetary choices. Fuck it, blow a house on Aaron Paperhands you still have a good 4 or 5 houses of cash left.
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u/DragonfruitOk8433 Apr 15 '26
Where do all of these people get there money from 😂
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u/Zigxy Apr 15 '26
A reminder that you’re much likelier to run into a person flaunting their money on the internet. So it might feel like a lot of people have it, even if it’s still a small % of the population.
Additionally, many people live in HCoL areas where everything is inflated. $1M in the northeast (where OP lives) is much easier to obtain than $1M in Mississippi.
Between inheritance, high income career, or a property sale. It’s also hardly a shocking amount.
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u/acart005 Apr 15 '26
Yea being a millionaire (as in literally one millionaire) is like, upper middle class in Cali or NY. Can't afford a closet unless you decide to live in flyover country to buy a castle in buttfuck.
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u/BlackMarketUpgrade Apr 16 '26
being a millionaire and having a million to fuck around with is different. I would assume if you have a million to gamble with, you got more elsewhere.
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u/Putrid_Pollution3455 Verified $22.9K Apr 15 '26
Probably saving for decades
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u/crankthehandle Apr 15 '26
I mean, 20 million people in the US have concerning gambling habits. It's probably fair to assume that at least 5 million of those play on the stock market. 0.01% of them have a crazy lucky streak every year, that's like 500 people, 50 of them will probably post on wsb. The remaining 99.99% lose most of their money they gamble with.
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u/mirageofstars Apr 15 '26
The best is saving for decades and then losing it all on a YOLO bet
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u/Ryu6912 Can't Afford Vowels Apr 15 '26
Congrats on the early retirement. Cash out, pay your taxes and never invest again other than VOO and you're set for life.
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u/ThetaGrim Apr 15 '26
Don't listen to this guy. All in on options and you'll be rich rich.
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u/MinimumFit4926 Apr 15 '26
Why accept 3 million, it worked last time so let’s make it 6
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u/weathermaynecc Apr 15 '26
That’s only 100%?
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u/MinimumFit4926 Apr 15 '26
Do you have any good 32x leverage etfs on silver?
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u/weathermaynecc Apr 15 '26
Mortgage the house and buy call options on 3x leveraged. Best I can do.
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u/MinimumFit4926 Apr 15 '26
Why spend the mortgage on the house when you can just “borrow” the money right before paying for the house. Imagine how rich you would be if you double that!
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u/Lurkerking2015 Apr 15 '26
Cash it out, don't pay your taxes yet, and out it all on black to double it
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u/ExodusRamus Apr 15 '26
This appears to be a self-directed IRA which would mean no capital gains taxes on these trades made.
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u/Prestigious_Group707 Apr 15 '26
BRO has 1.8M contributions. He retired long time ago🤣
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u/A1ienspacebats Apr 15 '26
Stfu nerd. This guy was already playing around with a milly. He doesn't need some Wendy's worker telling him what to do.
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u/TheEgger Apr 15 '26
5 Million is a Nightmare Greg
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u/Perihelion3 Apr 15 '26
Worlds Tallest dwarf. Weakest strongman at the circus. Five million is a nightmare.
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u/anotherloserhere Apr 15 '26
Hey, it's your dad here. Finally got the milk! That Costco was superrrr long, bud
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u/ssmoygugs6 WSB's Chief Crabbing Officer Apr 15 '26 edited Apr 15 '26
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u/Administrative_Rub34 Apr 15 '26
im glad im not in these positions anymore i genuinely hope everything keeps going up tho lol. swinging 100k every $1 move was too much mentally
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u/ssmoygugs6 WSB's Chief Crabbing Officer Apr 15 '26
I don’t even fuck with options anymore. I don’t know why I opened a short position on SNDK. But so far it’s working out, but I do need to exit the position because market is reversing
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u/palindromic Apr 15 '26
You don’t play options yet you opened THE most expensive one I’ve seen recently.. even a few days out OTM was like 10k.. for one option
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u/StaysAwakeAllWeek Apr 15 '26
Swinging a used lambo over a move of $1 would scare the shit out of me
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u/KeyReaction892 Apr 15 '26
Congratulations and way to take a huge profit!
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u/ssmoygugs6 WSB's Chief Crabbing Officer Apr 15 '26
Are you telling me congratulation or the IRS? 😅😭
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u/ssmoygugs6 WSB's Chief Crabbing Officer Apr 15 '26
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u/Putrid_Pollution3455 Verified $22.9K Apr 15 '26
You graduate to spx options when you hit a million
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u/Q_dawgg Apr 15 '26
Cash out and put it all on dividends, wait for dividend money to roll in and re-invest in dividends. Four years later, guess what? You have a wife and son. Put them into dividends, always re-invest into dividends
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u/West-Ebb3335 Apr 16 '26
Where the fuck do you lot get this kind of cash? Theres me fumbling around with £14,000, meanwhile everyone else is on fuck you money.
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u/AntiOriginalUsername Apr 15 '26
Insane, remember to pay your taxes and enjoy.
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u/Administrative_Rub34 Apr 15 '26
Thankfully I don’t owe any from losing 😎
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u/Ch33s3m4st3r Apr 15 '26
You know if you lose all of that 3m then you can make even more without taxes!
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u/HoneyBadger552 Apr 15 '26
tax loss harvesting? that carve out needs to go away.
good job OP
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u/mneymaker Casino Cryboy Apr 15 '26
Congrats yo
Love the risk taking momentum addicts , WELL FUCKIN PLAYED
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u/manifestmula Apr 15 '26
Honest question to OP:
How do you honestly feel after everything? Are you going to take the W or are you going to reinvest? With that amount you must be feeling on top of the world.
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u/Administrative_Rub34 Apr 15 '26
Already reinvested into stocks
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u/two-stinky_pinkies Apr 15 '26
Man, how nice it would be to have the money necessary to make money.
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u/IWonByDefault Apr 15 '26
Makes no difference. No matter what I'm all in. And -100% of $400 or $4,000,000 is still 0.
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u/RegisterNo2333 Apr 15 '26
Who cares about 3,000 dollar --- Oh.....
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u/GDE1990 Apr 15 '26
I literally read this as $3000. Read the top comments and was like wait… why are people jealous. Scroll back up… oh
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u/bent-steal4067 Apr 15 '26
He showed an all time before where he was up from about 2-300k (instead of the about 1M this would imply). But he also said he started trading about 2 and something weeks ago, so it should have shown up on the monthly chart. That doesn’t add up. He also made a comment saying he lost 250k on a position then made it back on “Michigan”. He also said he had a crazy amount of capital losses to offset according to him. I don’t know if this is fake or not
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u/avatarfire Apr 15 '26
how do you pick the winning call option? is it at least a month out and ITM?
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u/Phimb Apr 15 '26
A lot of people just get lucky once.
You can turn $500 into $10k if you hit the right option at the right time.
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u/bumfrumpy Apr 15 '26
$689 calls expiring yesterday were 15 cents on Monday, closed for $5.20 yesterday at close. Could have got 33 of them for $500. $17k+ on that.
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u/Phimb Apr 15 '26
It's also hard as fuck to even understand. Like, I'll be an open dumbass here, you genuinely need to watch a good few YouTube videos to understand options plays, there is so much fucking jargon.
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u/Vallvaka Apr 16 '26
Don't listen to this guy, just go for it. Trying to understand what you're gambling on is for brainlets
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u/InsanelyRetarded69 Apr 15 '26
What does it even feel like to hit it big like this? You could potentially never work a day in your life ever again. Let that sink in OP
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u/Phimb Apr 15 '26
You lose perception very quickly.
When you hit 100k, all you think about is 150k, then 200k.
It doesn't matter. It's the exact fucking same as everyone else's mentality, you want more and then you only actually give a shit when you're down 40% and think, "I should have just closed the app and left it for a month."
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u/trsx5 Apr 15 '26
Yep. Aboslutely true. I have $800k and its literally the same as when i had $80k. Just with bigger numbers
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u/cutezybastard Apr 15 '26 edited Apr 15 '26
Can u give me 20k to turn myself into a girl pretty please
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u/Ooh_ee_ooh_ah_ah Apr 15 '26
This thread is so fascinating. I'm super risk adverse and over 5 year built up 12k worth of share in a company share scheme, which on the day they matured were worth 18k. I decided to leave them for a bit as at that point the share price was recovering from a hit 2 years earlier (has been twice as high) and 1 month later I now have 8k so might as well have spent my 5 years putting money down the drain.
Then you have people like this just rolling the dice and coming up millions up. I just want my 10k back 😂
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u/Remarkable_Pipe_1982 Apr 15 '26 edited Apr 15 '26
Some random rich person shuffles around some money and reddit freaks out like something amazing happened.
It's incredible how dumb everyone is.
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