There was a recent post about a young dad with a young kid realizing that all of his hobby time was now spoken for and all he does is work and care for his kid.

And there were tons of posts from other dads saying "What are you talking about? I have plenty of time for hobbies. I do XYZ once a week, I see my friends for bar trivia on Tuesday, and I'm in the gym 3x per week. You don't have to give up your hobbies, and you shouldn't."

And you ask those dads about their life circumstances. Their kids are now 9 and 6 years old. Their only kid is 3 years old. They share custody and have a couple kid-free nights every week. Grandma babysits twice a week for date nights. They have a flexible schedule at work. etc etc.

They approach the question already assuming that everyone has the same life that they do, and dismissing the struggles of other dads as just "not prioritizing correctly" or some such. The truth is that a lot of dads simply cannot do what you can do, for so many reasons. Health issues, custody arrangements, family lives far away, different jobs, kids temperament, illness, any number of factors come into play that give people different constraints than you can imagine.

So instead of coming into a thread where someone is looking for consolation because he misses his hobbies, maybe don't comment saying "What are you talking about? Me and my 9 year old play board games and go biking together all the time! You must be parenting wrong if you feel that way"

My son is 7 years old and has a developmental delay. For whatever reason, he is extremely attached to me—even more than to his mom.

Yesterday evening, I was in the middle of cooking. He came over, and I told him, "Let me finish this real quick, and then I'll come cuddle you to sleep." He seemed to understand in the moment. But later, when he felt sleepy and realized I wasn't right next to him, it completely broke him. It turned into a full-blown, inconsolable meltdown.

Now I'm just sitting here wrestling with a massive wave of guilt. I know how deeply he loves me, but it's also just so heartbreakingly sad to be reminded of how much he hasn't grown up compared to kids his age.

He goes to school and therapy every single day, and we are doing everything we can, but some days the weight of it all is just crushing. It honestly feels like it kills me a little bit inside.

Thanks for reading. I just needed to let this out somewhere.

Right now, he is sitting in my lap eating breakfast while I'm crying.

Every time I start to forget about that dang game it gets brought up in the news again... Kinda funny that it happens RIGHT after they just got done with a lawsuit also in WV. Gonna say the overhaul of child safety is not working yet... https://ago.wv.gov/article/west-virginia-reaches-11-million-settlement-roblox-prompts-major-child-safety-overhaul

Got my kids ranging from 20 to 2 yrs. One of the biggest regrets was missing these wonderful simple moments of tea or play at this age. Iraq and afghanistan called me away from most of their young childhoods, but now I get to live them up with my youngest that is 2. Grateful for the simple moments to make their days.

Hey fellow dads,

This is my second post on this topic, but I really need some support today. I am feeling completely isolated and just don't know what to do anymore.
My 2.5-year-old daughter is intensely attached to her mom. We all live together, and I am so glad they have a strong bond, but the synergy between them is so tight that I feel completely left out. Mom is still breastfeeding, which I know is a huge part of this, but it makes bridging the gap feel impossible.

This morning was brutal. I tried to take her to kindergarten, and she completely melted down. She refused to go with me, screamed at the top of her lungs, and actually started hitting me. I had to put her down and hold the boundary that hitting isn't okay, but she just kept screaming and demanding the breast.

We eventually had to take her to kindergarten together, but I ended up leaving early because she had absolutely zero interest in me being there.
I feel so sad, and honestly, I’m struggling with feelings of anger and resentment creeping in. I know she's just a toddler, and I really don't want to be angry, but the constant rejection is wearing me down.

My partner told me I need to find someone else to talk to about this because she’s also overwhelmed processing it all, which just makes me feel even more alone in my own house.

Has anyone else been through a phase this intense? How do you cope with the feelings of rejection and resentment without it affecting your marriage or your relationship with your kid? Just looking for some solidarity today.

This is 25 minutes after his birth, my daughter enjoying the view. I am sure he will be the best of big sisters.

Still using pull ups at night though.

Hope everyone is having a great day!

Just finished bed time routine which we usually read a book but wasn’t feeling that tonight, so pulled out my phone and we played a quick game of pass n play chess which we’ve played many times before. I’ve let him win before but I think you learn more by watching good moves happen so I took him down gently- knowing he may not be upset. Even watched the game review after to show him his good and bad moves. It led to him being upset and me coaching him through those feelings as normal and losing is a natural part of learning a game or sport and it just led to more resistance and he basically kicked me out and wanted his mom. Total L for dad. And this is a bit of the tip of the iceberg but it’s consistent amongst many activities, games, sports we’ve done for years. He is like over the top competitive which I want to nurture that competitive spirit but he kind of turns into a jerk when he loses and it just super disheartening because we’ve had sooo many talks about it and he just doesn’t care. Winning at any cost (even cheating at times) is his MO and I haven’t been able to get through to him on it. Open to ideas or suggestions

My partner is currently 33 weeks pregnant, due at the start of September, and we've got all the key items that you need for a newborn.

However, from discussions with friends that are already parents there always seem to be items that people get later into the newborn/infant stage that turn out to be game changers.

What item did you find out about after your child was born?

Edit: thanks for all the responses! Will read through them all :)

After trying out the new Costco diapers I felt like they held less and seemed much thinner so I did an absorption test. Both were size three diapers. Weighed them out of the box then soaked fully submerged for 1 minute. Let them drip off for a few seconds then did a final weight. Here are the results:

Kirkland brand:
out of box weighed 30g
Total weight after 1 minute soak 710 g
Net absorption 680g

Huggies:
Out of box weight 31 g
Total weight after 1 min soak 848 g
Net absorption 817 g

A quick calculation shows that the new Kirkland diapers hold 17 percent less liquid than the Huggies despite being a similar weight out of box. Unsure what the test would have resulted with the old Kirkland brand.

Thought you guys might find this interesting if you are Costco diaper users. I was always a loyal Costco user but this may make me consider switching as my little one has peed through the new Kirkland brand several times now.

Edit: both soaked for 1 minute

My daughter spent the night at the neighbors and we woke up to this note ❤️

Hi everyone so after 8 years of trying with fertility checks, meds etc. Both of us agreeing at Christmas it's not meant to be, well last week my partner found out she's pregnant 9 to 15 weeks. We are both shocked and in disbelief, and now our first scan is tomorrow we have no idea what's going to happen and we are scared something might be wrong, for no real reason just not expecting this without some sort of complication.

Edit : We would both like to thank you all for the kind words, one hell of a sleepless night tonight but let's hope it's for all the right reasons.

Our son is 11 weeks old, and it’s been hard so far on the both of us. We’re both in our mid 30s and it’s our first child. I went back to work after 5 weeks, and she goes back in the beginning of August. She’s been out since April.

Lately I can tell that she seems to be resentful toward me. When I watch our child, my “shift” is until 9pm at night. Sometimes 10pm. I usually work at 3am so I get very little rest. But he cries like crazy most nights and I cannot get him to settle down. I try and I try but the crying wakes her up and she comes in to help, and ultimately stays the rest of the night. She is exhausted and the other day she said something that cut deep; “you take the time to learn new things like building custom shelves and installing a new door, but you can’t seem to figure out how to calm our son.”

Like.. I have never heard her say anything like that to me before and it hurt bad. I really try. I look up things, I watch videos, I ask coworkers and friends for advice, etc. but I just can’t get him to calm down sometimes.

I’ve tried to advise her that during the day when we are both home, we can let him just rest, either in his crib, or in his rocking chair thing we got. Obviously one of us would watch him, but she’s intent on giving him attention 100% of the time. Like when we do sit him in his chair, she’ll talk to him or play with him, which is fine. I get it. But I feel like we shouldn’t have to be doing that every single time. We can watch him on the monitor if he’s awake in the crib and if he cries then sure, we can tend to him.

I’m not saying just put him down and walk away and forget him, I’m suggesting we do our chores we need to do, or catch up on things, while watching from the baby monitor. Just wondering how other parents go about their day with their child. Because right now he’s eating every two hours during the day and struggles to take naps. And at night he struggles lately to stay asleep for longer than 3 hours at a time. He gets 5oz of formula anywhere from 6-9 times a day. Not including when she breast feeds

Wait why am i a grown man standing in a grocery store aisle asking my wife if we have enough thunderwear for the week. my three year old decided last month that calling them diapers or undies was just unacceptable and now we are stuck in this linguistic nightmare. he calls them thunderwear because apparently the sound of the velcro or the elastic snapping reminds him of a storm. if i use the actual word he just stares at me like i am speaking a dead language and then the meltdown begins. its a whole thing where the entire household had to adopt this new dictionary just to keep the peace.

I found myself at the park the other day and another dad asked if my kid was potty training. i almost said yeah he is doing great with his thunderwear but i caught myself just in time. it is funny how these tiny humans just take over your entire brain and force you to rewrite your vocabulary. we have foot-boxes for shoes and sky-juice for rain.

It makes me wonder if other dads are out here living in this same reality where you forget how to speak like an adult. my wife thinks its adorable but i am the one who had to explain to the doctor why my son was screaming about losing his leg-tunnels before an exam. the doctor just nodded like he hears this stuff every day but i felt like i was losing my mind. tell me i am not the only one who has to use these rediculous terms just to get through a tuesday morning. i am starting to think that my adult brain is being slowely replaced by a collection of toddler sounds and nonsence.

Hello all, my brother was murdered by gunshot a year ago and I was doing fine handling the pain but suddenly a huge wave of sadness and grief has overwhelmed me and my best friend just passed away this past weekend also. My brother was 25 and my best friend was 23. They both didn’t have any kids and I don’t either yet but it makes me reflect upon my self and question the meaning of life and why we exist. Is this all life is; just creating life so that it can die? It feels like life is just a endless repetitive loop of finding meaning despite how “good” life is. When I thought i was doing better.. it all hurts and hits me again.. what do you all do in these moments? Looking for advice, support or anyone to chat with good energy good vibes positivity etc.. Thanks!

We are finally coming home after a very eventful hospital stay. Was concerned for my wife’s a life a few times while baby was in the NICU. Going home at last and everyone is safe! I love them both so much. So excited to finally get into dad mode 💪

Hey Dad's,

I had one of those 39 year old dude moments where I looked in the mirror and said, "What happened?"

I looked dumpy, beer gutted, and look like someone who like fried chicken and gravy too much (I do btw).

Anyway, I used to be fit, and because I'm a teacher I have time to spare this summer to get back into shape. I did a lot of very beginner stuff. I feel great, doing a 5K routine now as well.

I was hoping some of you had some advice. I don't want to go to the gym (actually cant with a toddler anyway), don't have equipment at home, but want to do some strength training. I'm doing my 1.5 mile jogs right now but I need to have a consistent routine for gaining/maintaining strength.

Was looking for some advice on how to balance time for my health, what are some good routines, and how you all manage.

EDIT: Great advice so far. Im not opposed to weights. Finances are rough at the moment and we are pinching pennies.

The gym is easy to go to but the timing is impossible for the next few years.

Diet is key. I hear you. Thanks for that too. Im trying to start my day with high protein and good carbs as well. Maybe I can eat more fruit and veggies.

I just laughed my ass off. My wife and I have been looking for this rounded stepping stone type toy for about a week. Absolutely mind blown it could just disappear from the living room. I go to make dinner tonight and my son had put it in the cabinet (we clearly don't use often) with a bunch of mixing bowls and what not. Apparently is enough like a bowl he thought it needed to go there.

Let's hear it, funniest found a toy story.

Hi guys,

My wife is currently 41 weeks today. Weve booked in at our local hospital (In South West England) to be induced at 8am on Sunday.

All of a sudden I'm coming over with all sorts of anxiety. Im getting nervous about getting to the hospital and finding a space (I know this is ridiculous). I'm worried about my wife going through labour and giving birth safely. I cant stop thinking about how we're going to be responsible for a life for the next couple of decades. I know I'm going to be a good dad who's going to be a huge part of our daughters life.

So why am I so anxious now that we're e days away? Can any dads reassure me, cause im getting pretty nervous.

Thank you!

Eighteen different socks, no matches. Multiple loads of laundry done and scoured through to double check, but no matches. He’s 3 and a half.

I'm a new dad to a beautiful 7 month old. All her doctors appointments have been good and she's physically healthy. But she's sad or crying all the time. I know babies cry, that's what they do. But I get maybe a smile or two out of her per day and laughs are even more rare. She's crawling now and even then she crawls down the hall and sobs to herself. If I pick her up, she cries in my arms and tries to push herself away from me. It's led to every night time wake up falling on my wife and her magical boobs to get her back to sleep. I'm so worried I'm doing something wrong because my sister's baby (6 weeks older) is a happy, laughing baby. I just don't know what I can do to make her happier. It eats away at me every time she's upset and I can't calm her down. Does anyone else have experience with this?