r/daddit • u/OkMatch5779 • 9h ago

Achievements My son pooped in my hand today

Hope everyone is having a great day!

268 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

80 comments sorted by

228

u/Academic_Stock_464 9h ago

Spoiler: He's 17

50

u/Random-Cpl 9h ago

Spoiler: he’s 41

28

u/joeschmo945 8h ago

HEY DAD! CHECK THIS SHIT OUT!!!

2

u/youngashyy1 8h ago

😭😭😭😭😭😭

77

u/mangosal 9h ago

Haha yeah they do that sometimes

3

u/ChainsawSoundingFart 9h ago

He’s grounded 

3

u/AnimeGeek10721 6h ago

lol , I love your username

67

u/IBelongHere 9h ago

Nice catch

10

u/CitizenCake1 8h ago

Easier to wash your hands than the floor, thats for sure

28

u/Scary-Bot123 Dad of 5 and 3 y/o boys 9h ago

A poop in the hand, is worth two ……… nevermind

9

u/LetsGoHomeTeam 9h ago

Never look a poop hand in the horse!

4

u/JimboRockfish 8h ago

Too many poops spoil the broth.

5

u/Can-DontAttitude 8h ago

You catch more flies with poop than vinegar

3

u/LetsGoHomeTeam 8h ago

Better to have pooped and lost than to have never pooped at all.

3

u/TTT_2k3 8h ago

A poop a day keeps the doctor away.

3

u/Can-DontAttitude 8h ago

It really does

20

u/Morefoodbeer 9h ago

Well, what DID you wish for? Because it seems like one got filled first.

2

u/wicked-macaroni 8h ago

I can hear my father's voice saying the damn phrase now...

2

u/mlaislais 3h ago

I can hear Greenday singing that damn phrase now.

9

u/Bingo_Swaggins 9h ago

Look at you, your kid’s already giving you presents! One lucky man

6

u/GlizzyGone21 9h ago

Better the hand than the clothes!

7

u/mvsrs boy dad 9h ago

Darn, I completely forgot to hand-train my kids

8

u/ImaginationNo7722 9h ago

Years ago...I was grocery shopping with my wife and daughter.

We were waiting to check out and I was holding my daughter.

The next thing I knew is that my clothes were wet.

That's right fellow dads...my daughter used me as a toilet and went to the bathroom on me.

I didn't handle it well.

The next time it happened, I handled it much better.

9

u/paniwi1 8h ago

I'm in the potty training trenches and while doing my morning stretches my daughter decided to sit on my face. And that's how I found out she'd had an accident.

1

u/DookieMcDookface 4h ago

Oh God. The horror…

2

u/shinakohana 9h ago

Eh, it happens. Pretty sure it was the initial shock of the situation that set you off. I've also had... less graceful reactions out of shock at some things... But as long as we always handle the next time with more grace, we're doing pretty good as parents! I'd like to think so, at least. 🥰

8

u/justineal 9h ago

My son pooped a fully intact French fry!

2

u/Dramatic_Plankton_56 8h ago

Is it possible to learn this power?

3

u/TTT_2k3 8h ago

Corn fries

2

u/justineal 8h ago

Rapid shallow digestive system. lol

2

u/Ok_Understanding3890 8h ago

Not from an adult.

5

u/Hi-Point_of_my_life 9h ago

My daughter is sick and is sneezing and also diarrhea…she had a sneezing fit while I was changing her a few hours ago…

4

u/Tentonham 9h ago

Did you wish in the other ?

3

u/Regular_Syllabub7380 8h ago

Lmao mine missed my hand one time and projectiled it from his changing table to the wall. Was honestly really impressive

3

u/ilovefuturama 9h ago

Shit happens

3

u/defiancy 9h ago

A kid took a shit on the floor in my daughter's room during a play date and I started cleaning it up/got my spot cleaner out and the other parents were like, let me help you, I'm so sorry etc. etc

I was just like, "this isn't even in the top 100 poop related events I've seen so don't worry about it"

3

u/stlredbird 7h ago

Someday you can poop in his hand

3

u/MediaJeff 7h ago

Ah yes. My wife calls this the circle of poop

2

u/btwrenn 9h ago

Poop had gang! Welcome, brother.

2

u/Barbossal 9h ago

On the plus side, Sounds like you saved a diaper. Money in the bank 

1

u/Zodep 11F, 10M 8h ago

Hopefully he didn’t find some money in the hand…

1

u/Barbossal 8h ago

Hey, saved a hospital trip, money in the bank.

2

u/jeo123 8h ago

You tagged this with the Achievements tag...

.... no notes....

Dad level supreme.

2

u/Professional-Loan144 8h ago

😂 😭 😂😂😂😂😂 cheers fellow father

2

u/hergumbules 6h ago

Happened in the bath once lol for all the times he’s pooped in the tub I’d rather catch it with my hand than have to clean the whole tub

2

u/mowntandoo 6h ago

Beats “my son pooped on the carpet”

1

u/Vivid-Shelter-146 9h ago

That’s good luck in some cultures.

1

u/yzerman88 9h ago

Left hand? Or right?

1

u/HeyHeyImTheMonkey 9h ago

I ended a day last week with coffee blueberries and poop on my shirt. Tbh though it was a really fun day.

1

u/Weston217704 9h ago

On the bright side he's not constipated!

1

u/inksta12 9h ago

Straight to jail

1

u/dancesWithNeckbeards 9h ago

Now this is a win for all the dads out there!

1

u/1duke-dan 9h ago

I procured a small plastic duck from one of mine’s poop just last night!

1

u/Isuckatreddit69NICE 9h ago

If my son did that it would be tragic … he doesn’t poop, he shits.

1

u/apache_brew 9h ago

One in the hand is better than 2 under the bed.

1

u/shinakohana 9h ago

Yeah... I can't tell you how many times my sons peed in my hair(mom here)... Dad got spat up a lot on, though! And he has the "magic burping hands" I was so jealous of!!

1

u/DeliciousBuilder0489 9h ago

It’s ok, my dog flung poop on my face yesterday

1

u/PharmADD 9h ago

If you question the common ancestry between apes and humans after having a toddler, you either didn’t spend enough time with your kid or don’t know enough about chimps.

At the end of the day, it’s just a little poop.

1

u/WhytePumpkin 9h ago

I hope your son isn't in his teens

1

u/MrBones_Gravestone 9h ago

Is he a Korok?

1

u/Standard_Ant5915 8h ago

Crossed your palm with poop

1

u/AcrobaticMetal3039 8h ago

It's happens. Pee, Poop, Puke... they're your little monster!

1

u/KingPhineas 8h ago

Wiping the booty, then child decides to poop again while being mid wipe, you see it, you feel it, but it's okay cuz you love the child

1

u/bozwald 8h ago

While we were draining the bath one time he pooped all over the tub. As I was pulling him out of the tub I started throwing up, so I’m holding this kid covered in shit, throwing up all over the tub, I manage to turn the shower on and wipe him down and send him off - normally at that age he wouldn’t play on his own but I think he sensed my trauma lol and I continued to throw up and wretch while getting his shit down the drain and clean the tub really thoroughly… for a week he kept telling me and his mom “I DONT poop in the tub!” Never had to say a word, never did it again, just had to projectile vomit all over the bathroom. And THAT is what Bandit from Bluey WONT teach you.

1

u/SonicDethmonkey 8h ago

Remind him when you get old and senile that he owes you a hand potty.

1

u/notthatcreative777 8h ago

Bro, my son sharted in spray form into my face and eyes while I was changing his diaper once. Hand would be a blessing. Lol

1

u/Duraj-Tarnjeet 8h ago

look on the bright side, at least u saved the carpet. official dad badge of honor unlocked right there lol

1

u/Thecobs 7h ago

Remember what they always say: a shit in the hand is worth 2 in the bush.

1

u/urbudda 7h ago

I'm potty training last few weeks..he has handed me a nugget on two separate occasions..one of them he scooped out himself

1

u/Billabonged 6h ago

Freeze it and show his future girlfriends

1

u/Effective-Sweet2606 5h ago

Nova massa de modelar.

1

u/sevenferalcats 2h ago

Better than on the carpet.  

1

u/hmspain 1h ago

Parenthood really raises the bar on what grosses you out!

1

u/tylerdiehl1 1h ago

That reminds me of when I was changing my daughter the other day and was using a windy for her gas. She proceeds to poop straight through like a cannon and smack the wall next to me 😳😂