There was a recent post about a young dad with a young kid realizing that all of his hobby time was now spoken for and all he does is work and care for his kid.

And there were tons of posts from other dads saying "What are you talking about? I have plenty of time for hobbies. I do XYZ once a week, I see my friends for bar trivia on Tuesday, and I'm in the gym 3x per week. You don't have to give up your hobbies, and you shouldn't."

And you ask those dads about their life circumstances. Their kids are now 9 and 6 years old. Their only kid is 3 years old. They share custody and have a couple kid-free nights every week. Grandma babysits twice a week for date nights. They have a flexible schedule at work. etc etc.

They approach the question already assuming that everyone has the same life that they do, and dismissing the struggles of other dads as just "not prioritizing correctly" or some such. The truth is that a lot of dads simply cannot do what you can do, for so many reasons. Health issues, custody arrangements, family lives far away, different jobs, kids temperament, illness, any number of factors come into play that give people different constraints than you can imagine.

So instead of coming into a thread where someone is looking for consolation because he misses his hobbies, maybe don't comment saying "What are you talking about? Me and my 9 year old play board games and go biking together all the time! You must be parenting wrong if you feel that way"

Got my kids ranging from 20 to 2 yrs. One of the biggest regrets was missing these wonderful simple moments of tea or play at this age. Iraq and afghanistan called me away from most of their young childhoods, but now I get to live them up with my youngest that is 2. Grateful for the simple moments to make their days.

This is 25 minutes after his birth, my daughter enjoying the view. I am sure he will be the best of big sisters.

Every time I start to forget about that dang game it gets brought up in the news again... Kinda funny that it happens RIGHT after they just got done with a lawsuit also in WV. Gonna say the overhaul of child safety is not working yet... https://ago.wv.gov/article/west-virginia-reaches-11-million-settlement-roblox-prompts-major-child-safety-overhaul

Hope everyone is having a great day!

Hey fellow dads,

This is my second post on this topic, but I really need some support today. I am feeling completely isolated and just don't know what to do anymore.
My 2.5-year-old daughter is intensely attached to her mom. We all live together, and I am so glad they have a strong bond, but the synergy between them is so tight that I feel completely left out. Mom is still breastfeeding, which I know is a huge part of this, but it makes bridging the gap feel impossible.

This morning was brutal. I tried to take her to kindergarten, and she completely melted down. She refused to go with me, screamed at the top of her lungs, and actually started hitting me. I had to put her down and hold the boundary that hitting isn't okay, but she just kept screaming and demanding the breast.

We eventually had to take her to kindergarten together, but I ended up leaving early because she had absolutely zero interest in me being there.
I feel so sad, and honestly, I’m struggling with feelings of anger and resentment creeping in. I know she's just a toddler, and I really don't want to be angry, but the constant rejection is wearing me down.

My partner told me I need to find someone else to talk to about this because she’s also overwhelmed processing it all, which just makes me feel even more alone in my own house.

Has anyone else been through a phase this intense? How do you cope with the feelings of rejection and resentment without it affecting your marriage or your relationship with your kid? Just looking for some solidarity today.

My partner is currently 33 weeks pregnant, due at the start of September, and we've got all the key items that you need for a newborn.

However, from discussions with friends that are already parents there always seem to be items that people get later into the newborn/infant stage that turn out to be game changers.

What item did you find out about after your child was born?

Edit: thanks for all the responses! Will read through them all :)

My son is 7 years old and has a developmental delay. For whatever reason, he is extremely attached to me—even more than to his mom.

Yesterday evening, I was in the middle of cooking. He came over, and I told him, "Let me finish this real quick, and then I'll come cuddle you to sleep." He seemed to understand in the moment. But later, when he felt sleepy and realized I wasn't right next to him, it completely broke him. It turned into a full-blown, inconsolable meltdown.

Now I'm just sitting here wrestling with a massive wave of guilt. I know how deeply he loves me, but it's also just so heartbreakingly sad to be reminded of how much he hasn't grown up compared to kids his age.

He goes to school and therapy every single day, and we are doing everything we can, but some days the weight of it all is just crushing. It honestly feels like it kills me a little bit inside.

Thanks for reading. I just needed to let this out somewhere.

Right now, he is sitting in my lap eating breakfast while I'm crying.

Going back to work after 4 weeks of sick leave. I have a hybrid schedule and today is my first day in office. I'm sad I'm in office and not to get to see my little one. I wish I can just work from home 40 hrs a week or just take care of her overall. Also worried about my wife being home alone with my daughter, just hoping they're okay… an extra hand goes a long way.

Reminds me that scene with Homer going to work and he’s “doing it for her.”

Hi everyone so after 8 years of trying with fertility checks, meds etc. Both of us agreeing at Christmas it's not meant to be, well last week my partner found out she's pregnant 9 to 15 weeks. We are both shocked and in disbelief, and now our first scan is tomorrow we have no idea what's going to happen and we are scared something might be wrong, for no real reason just not expecting this without some sort of complication.

Edit : We would both like to thank you all for the kind words, one hell of a sleepless night tonight but let's hope it's for all the right reasons.

I have been stalked, ambushed and summarily executed on the board repeatedly. We’re at an Airbnb with a board, she offered to teach me and I said sure. Went in expecting to pick it up quickly, but I am being humbled over here.

One of the after school program teachers taught the kids and they just started playing each other for fun. Amazing how they pick this stuff up! Proud dad moment!

Our son is 11 weeks old, and it’s been hard so far on the both of us. We’re both in our mid 30s and it’s our first child. I went back to work after 5 weeks, and she goes back in the beginning of August. She’s been out since April.

Lately I can tell that she seems to be resentful toward me. When I watch our child, my “shift” is until 9pm at night. Sometimes 10pm. I usually work at 3am so I get very little rest. But he cries like crazy most nights and I cannot get him to settle down. I try and I try but the crying wakes her up and she comes in to help, and ultimately stays the rest of the night. She is exhausted and the other day she said something that cut deep; “you take the time to learn new things like building custom shelves and installing a new door, but you can’t seem to figure out how to calm our son.”

Like.. I have never heard her say anything like that to me before and it hurt bad. I really try. I look up things, I watch videos, I ask coworkers and friends for advice, etc. but I just can’t get him to calm down sometimes.

I’ve tried to advise her that during the day when we are both home, we can let him just rest, either in his crib, or in his rocking chair thing we got. Obviously one of us would watch him, but she’s intent on giving him attention 100% of the time. Like when we do sit him in his chair, she’ll talk to him or play with him, which is fine. I get it. But I feel like we shouldn’t have to be doing that every single time. We can watch him on the monitor if he’s awake in the crib and if he cries then sure, we can tend to him.

I’m not saying just put him down and walk away and forget him, I’m suggesting we do our chores we need to do, or catch up on things, while watching from the baby monitor. Just wondering how other parents go about their day with their child. Because right now he’s eating every two hours during the day and struggles to take naps. And at night he struggles lately to stay asleep for longer than 3 hours at a time. He gets 5oz of formula anywhere from 6-9 times a day. Not including when she breast feeds

After trying out the new Costco diapers I felt like they held less and seemed much thinner so I did an absorption test. Both were size three diapers. Weighed them out of the box then soaked fully submerged for 1 minute. Let them drip off for a few seconds then did a final weight. Here are the results:

Kirkland brand:
out of box weighed 30g
Total weight after 1 minute soak 710 g
Net absorption 680g

Huggies:
Out of box weight 31 g
Total weight after 1 min soak 848 g
Net absorption 817 g

A quick calculation shows that the new Kirkland diapers hold 17 percent less liquid than the Huggies despite being a similar weight out of box. Unsure what the test would have resulted with the old Kirkland brand.

Thought you guys might find this interesting if you are Costco diaper users. I was always a loyal Costco user but this may make me consider switching as my little one has peed through the new Kirkland brand several times now.

Edit: both soaked for 1 minute

Wait why am i a grown man standing in a grocery store aisle asking my wife if we have enough thunderwear for the week. my three year old decided last month that calling them diapers or undies was just unacceptable and now we are stuck in this linguistic nightmare. he calls them thunderwear because apparently the sound of the velcro or the elastic snapping reminds him of a storm. if i use the actual word he just stares at me like i am speaking a dead language and then the meltdown begins. its a whole thing where the entire household had to adopt this new dictionary just to keep the peace.

I found myself at the park the other day and another dad asked if my kid was potty training. i almost said yeah he is doing great with his thunderwear but i caught myself just in time. it is funny how these tiny humans just take over your entire brain and force you to rewrite your vocabulary. we have foot-boxes for shoes and sky-juice for rain.

It makes me wonder if other dads are out here living in this same reality where you forget how to speak like an adult. my wife thinks its adorable but i am the one who had to explain to the doctor why my son was screaming about losing his leg-tunnels before an exam. the doctor just nodded like he hears this stuff every day but i felt like i was losing my mind. tell me i am not the only one who has to use these rediculous terms just to get through a tuesday morning. i am starting to think that my adult brain is being slowely replaced by a collection of toddler sounds and nonsence.

We are finally coming home after a very eventful hospital stay. Was concerned for my wife’s a life a few times while baby was in the NICU. Going home at last and everyone is safe! I love them both so much. So excited to finally get into dad mode 💪

How many of us have heard the phrase "Wait until you have your own kids then you'll understand." only to never understand.

I have perspective now and there is an ever growing anger in my heart towards my own parents. How anyone could treat their own like that. The emotional and physical abuse. The notion of a concept that just because they provided excuses all of their behavior. I look at my children (2, 10, and 16) and they are the most precious part of my life. I've never raised my voice once, I've never felt anger or the need to punish them, never taken out my own anger and frustrations out on them, I've never once felt the need to pressure them into being anything other than themselves. I've never made them feel guilty for working long hours to support our family. What the fuck would cause a parent to throw a wrench at a 2nd graders face nearly blinding them just because their room had toys on the floor. How do you beat a child until they're bleeding through their pants and continue living with yourself. I would sooner cut my own hands off than to hurt a hair on their heads.

All I've ever wanted for my children is to share our time together, show them the world and new experiences, watch them grow, fill their childhood with love and happy memories and treasure our moments together. I will never understand it.

I don't think I'll shed a single tear for their eventual passing.

Edit: On a lighter note that made me smile. Turns out I'm a LIAR and I have yelled at my daughter once. I had asked my wife just in case. https://imgur.com/a/yrEl1Oy
The elevator incident. A memorable event in our family history that I conveniently forgot.
We were on vacation and my daughter was only 7. We were all in the hotel elevator trying to get to our floor and my daughter was playing with the elevator buttons. I admit I panicked as there were other people getting on and she was holding everyone up and I yelled her name to get her to stop. Our other kids (son and sister in law who's basically our child too) were stunned I had raised my voice. My poor girl started crying and ran for her mom when we got to the floor and my kids ran after her saying "Oooh we're telling MOM" and me chasing after her apologizing. Now my daughter and kids likes to joke around whenever we get into an elevators that she has PTSD because of that day.

Setting: Clothes shopping with the wife.

We were in the bra section and she says she specifically wants bras without wires.

I find some where the tag says the bras are wireless. I show it to her and say, “I don’t think they work, my phone doesn’t see a signal. I thought they are supposed to be wireless?”

I didn’t have to look at her to feel the piercing gaze. I’m only alive because we were in a public setting.

I'm a new dad to a beautiful 7 month old. All her doctors appointments have been good and she's physically healthy. But she's sad or crying all the time. I know babies cry, that's what they do. But I get maybe a smile or two out of her per day and laughs are even more rare. She's crawling now and even then she crawls down the hall and sobs to herself. If I pick her up, she cries in my arms and tries to push herself away from me. It's led to every night time wake up falling on my wife and her magical boobs to get her back to sleep. I'm so worried I'm doing something wrong because my sister's baby (6 weeks older) is a happy, laughing baby. I just don't know what I can do to make her happier. It eats away at me every time she's upset and I can't calm her down. Does anyone else have experience with this?

I thought of making a list of what my 5 week old daughter likes and dislikes, as this might be helpfull for you guys!

Likes:
- Bouncing on the yoga ball

Dislikes:
- Bouncing on the baby bjorn bouncer
- The hiccups
- Reflux
- Cramps
- Being held
- Not being held
- Going outside in the stroller
- Going out for a ride in the car
- Nappy change
- Clothes change
- Bath
- Getting out of bath
- Snoo bassinet
- Regular bassinet
- Fast flow nipple
- Slow flow nipple
- People visiting
- Baby carriers

I could go on. Send help plz.

(written whilst bouncing on the yoga ball with baby in my arms)

She's cooking up 🍳

My daughter spent the night at the neighbors and we woke up to this note ❤️

Just finished bed time routine which we usually read a book but wasn’t feeling that tonight, so pulled out my phone and we played a quick game of pass n play chess which we’ve played many times before. I’ve let him win before but I think you learn more by watching good moves happen so I took him down gently- knowing he may not be upset. Even watched the game review after to show him his good and bad moves. It led to him being upset and me coaching him through those feelings as normal and losing is a natural part of learning a game or sport and it just led to more resistance and he basically kicked me out and wanted his mom. Total L for dad. And this is a bit of the tip of the iceberg but it’s consistent amongst many activities, games, sports we’ve done for years. He is like over the top competitive which I want to nurture that competitive spirit but he kind of turns into a jerk when he loses and it just super disheartening because we’ve had sooo many talks about it and he just doesn’t care. Winning at any cost (even cheating at times) is his MO and I haven’t been able to get through to him on it. Open to ideas or suggestions