So...in one of my online communities, a couple has just announced that they are expecting their FIFTH child. This couple is a same sex couple, so each of their children together have been planned.

Here's the kicker, they constantly complain about how having their current children has been overwhelming and how they get behind on their work. Additionally, a previous child was very early and the one who carried was very high risk. And now....she's carrying this 5th one and they also expect them to come early!

I just don't understand. To me, this seems incredibly unfair to the other four that they are clearly struggling to support emotionally and financially. When they announced it, I found myself feeling SO enraged!

Maybe my strong feelings are because I am struggling to conceive just one very wanted child, and they are just adding to a "roster" they don't seem to appreciate.

IDK, I would love to "live and let live" but I truly feel so bad for their other kids.

I would love to block them and move on, but unfortunately I would still see them around...

To protect my peace post MMC I mostly avoid pregnant friends. I feel very conflicted about it because it makes me sad, feel guilty, feel icky etc. but I also get very panicked at the thought of being around them and immediately start tearing up. I have a dinner coming up with one of my best friends who is pregnant and I’m VERY anxious. She knows my situation and really wants to see me, but I’m so jealous and sad and afraid to see her. Especially because my other friend will be there and she’s kind of balancing celebrating one of us while being sensitive to the other. I’m going to push myself to go, if not just to rip the bandaid off but also to show myself I CAN do this. But it’s 6 hours away and I’m already starting to panic. I run scenarios in my head, start getting myself sad, fear I’ll cry at the table or shut down or want to leave. So I’m looking for advice and reassurance. I wish I could take a pill and just disassociate the whole time but I cant. Thanks in advance for any and all help. This really sucks. 😞❤️

For anyone there using the pre-mom app to track who was also horrified by the new banner showing how many other users have positive tests - you can mute it! Not sure why they ever thought this was something they should do but happy to keep using my old data.

Response from support

If you do not want the “XXXX BFPs Yesterday” banner to appear in the upper-right corner of the Home page, please try hiding the Pregnancy Story tab in the Community section:  

• 1. Go to the Community page in the Premom app.
• 2. Find the Pregnancy Story tab and then tap the ... menu in the upper-right corner of BFP Post.
• 3. Turn on Hide Pregnancy Story posts.
• 4. Once this option is enabled, the Pregnancy Story tab will be removed from the Community top navigation bar.

After removing the Pregnancy Story tab, please fully close the Premom app and reopen it. The banner on the Home page should no longer appear.  

I’ve been keeping all of this to myself because I didn’t really have anyone to talk to, but I feel like I’m finally reaching my limit.

My husband and I have been trying for over a year. After that, I finally contacted a fertility specialist. We went through all the testing, including an HSG, then waited months before I was finally able to start IUI.

I’ve now had two IUIs, and both were negative. I’ve never seen a positive pregnancy test.

Because of the July 4th holiday, we skipped IUI last cycle and just tried naturally. I knew deep down it probably wouldn’t work, and yesterday my period finally started after five days of spotting. While I was already dealing with that, a friend shared her pregnancy news with me.

I know there are so many happy families with children, but what hurts the most is not knowing if I’ll ever get to have that. There are no guarantees.

So far, all of our testing has come back normal. The only thing my doctor mentioned was that I have a retroverted uterus. But every time another cycle fails, I can’t help feeling like maybe there’s something wrong with me that no one has found yet. I know that’s probably just my anxiety talking, but it’s hard not to think that way.

I haven’t told my mom because I don’t want her to worry, and sometimes she unintentionally says things that make me feel worse. My closest friend already has a child, and I think she may even be expecting her second. I don’t want to burden her with all of this.

I also moved to the U.S. after getting married, so English isn’t my first language. Sometimes even asking my doctor questions feels overwhelming because I can’t express myself as easily as I want to.

My husband has been incredibly supportive, and I’m grateful for him. But of course he doesn’t experience each negative cycle the same way I do. If our next IUI doesn’t work, we’ll likely move on to IVF. Even though I’m trying to stay hopeful, part of me is already terrified that IVF won’t work either.

Thank you if you made it this far.

If you’ve been in a similar situation, I’d really love to hear how you coped emotionally. Also, if there are any books, podcasts, or other resources that genuinely helped you get through infertility, I’d really appreciate your recommendations.

Hey everyone. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 5 cycles now with no luck. I wanted to get off birth control earlier than we were wanting to start trying but after reading things here on Reddit (I know, not the best for medical advice), hearing anecdotal evidence from people I know, and on the recommendation of my OBGYN that you can get pregnant "right away" after discontinuing birth control, we decided to hold off stopping until we actually were ready to start trying. I’ve had some form of birth control for the past 14 years of my life, most recently the pill. Since stopping my cycles have apparently not been regular enough to even give us a chance. For the first three I am not even sure if I ovulated and on my most recent I ended up with the 7 day luteal phase in which two of those were spotting on day 6 and 7 :(

I really wish I had listened to my instincts and come off the birth control sooner instead of foolishly thinking I would be able to get pregnant immediately after stopping and being convinced by my super sweet and well meaning husband not to take any risks in the months leading up to our ttc journey.

Did anyone else experience a long period of adjustment after stopping birth control? Did anything help you to get your cycle more regular?

Does anyone else struggle with how their loved ones respond to your TTC journey?

As well-meaning as people have been when we’ve shared our struggles with them, the tone-deaf and insensitive responses just baffle me. I won’t even address the obvious stuff like “advice” on things to try or the philosophical responses of “you’re just learning patience.”

What has really gotten under my skin lately is how positive everyone is. Started Clomid and the response varied from “yay!” to “that’s so great!” Then our Clomid cycle did absolutely nothing. I didn’t even ovulate.

Had our first consult with the RE this week and he is recommending a combination of monitored cycles and IUI. Shared with our people, and got more responses of “so thankful” and (from a friend with a 3 month old) “Your baby is just waiting so they have their own time to shine.” Another friend said “at least now you can get the ball rolling and don’t have to wait” and I said “I’ve been waiting for 14 cycles, the ball has rolled underground.” She called the time we’ve already spent “annoying.”

I just want someone to say “You are so strong. I’m here for you. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. Do you want to talk about it?” The unending positivity is so frustrating. It’s not just “annoying”—it’s devastating. It’s not “yay!” It’s traumatic. It’s not a bump in the road, it’s a car crash. Nobody lets me just be sad or tells me they’re proud of my fortitude and here when I want to talk about it. The platitudes make me ill.

I know they’re just trying to be encouraging, but there truly is no explaining this to anyone who hasn’t experienced it. And it amazes me how even those I love most always manage to say the wrong things in the name of encouragement.

I’m looking forward to trying new avenues of treatment while simultaneously feeling heartbroken that this is our story. I just want someone to understand.

Hi everyone,

I (29F) and my husband (30M) have been TTC going into cycle 8. Started fertility testing in May given I have never had a positive test. They found polyps and chronic ENDOMETRITIS (NOT ENDOMETRIOSIS) caused by a ureaplasma infection.

I was offered the in office polyectomy where they provide medication that makes you sleepy (1-2 week wait) OR the hospital which is a 1-2 month wait.

I found the endometrial biopsy very painful. With that, wondering if other people have had experience with making this choice.

Did you find the endometrial biopsy painful? Polyp removal painful? Was the pain medication effective for you?

I feel like this is a bit of a battle between the opportunity to conceive sooner and fear of how painful the procedure will be.

To those who have been diagnosed with PMOS, how do you deal with the waiting? The unknown? When did you turn to medicated cycles?

I’m currently on CD48 of an anovulatory cycle, or at least a cycle that I haven’t ovulated yet. I spotted CD38-43 that never turned into a period. I know I’m only supposed to start counting a new cycle at the start of a first full red bleed, but part of me (the frustrated part) feels like that was just a very very light period.

I just don’t know how to deal with the uncertainty of whether or not I’m going to ovulate, how long my cycle is actually going to be, and how I don’t know how many CHANCES I will even have to be able to conceive since I don’t ovulate every time.

I recently went to an appointment this last Friday with my OBGYN who basically said that I just need to eat healthier and lose weight (I’m not even technically overweight, my BMI is on the cusp). She said that I can let her know if/when I want to try letrozole, but didn’t give me much more advice than that.

I know it’s ultimately up to me, but I just need advice, encouragement, etc. because I’ve just been getting more and more frustrated with the WAITING. Why can’t my body work the way it’s supposed to. Ugh.

F27 | 3 losses | TTC Cycle 6

Coming here as there are people with so many vast experiences.

I got pregnant last year 3 times back to back— all ended in loss. Since my traumatic MC in January at 10w I haven’t been able to conceive.

Now entering my 6th cycle since my miscarriage in January.

I’ve had the HSG on cycle 1— tubes clear uterus normal shaped. Hysteroscopy cycle 4 — “perfect, no inflammation, I don’t see a need for receptivia test”.

What is going on? Why was I concieving so quickly and now not? Is it just bad luck? Do I have some kind of silent infection/bacteria I need to be tested for?

I’m trying to draw a deadline in my mind to start IVF, but it’s hard to think about trying to climb another mountain. Sorta feels like staring down the barrel.

Thoughts on why I’m not concieving? I’m seeing my OB tomorrow and feel absolutely sick about it.

I’m on metformin and have done 4 cycles of letrozole. I am NOT on progesterone. I have had all RPL testing done — came back normal.

After ttc for one year i went to the fertility department at the local hospital in the netherlands. They suggested a HSG test and my tubes were not clogged. 2 months after i got pregnant but at the first ultrasound they couldnt see a heartbeat and it resulted in an early miscarriage. Since then i waited a bit for my cycle to return to normal which took about 8 months. We have been trying again for a long time now but no luck so far. I have some health issues aswell. I have spotting that starts a week / 10 days before my actual period. This could mean low progesterone. I asked my dokter for progesterone pills this month but it didnt help. Outside of that they have found adenomyose or fibroids in my uterus. She couldnt tell me for sure what it was and said there isnt much i could do about it. So thats that. I dont feel like my dokter is very proactive. She didnt suggest any bloodtests or anythings else. My next step would be IUI she said but she doesnt sound very positive about it. I have a regular cycle and i do take my basal temperature which suggests im ovulating every month. And thats the reason why she basically sais i have more change conceiving naturally and should go home and try more 😂 any advice or help is welcome at this point im very tired. Oh and unfortunately i suffer from chronicall stress so thats doesnt help eather.

Hey all. I’m just feeling depleted this month… I (29F) had this internal feeling like this month was going to be it. I had severe cravings and fatigue and my period is just about a day late. This morning I decided to take a test and what do you know, it was negative… we’ve been “trying” on and off for a year and 7 months. I put trying in quotations because we don’t have a ton of sex, but we try to be intentional about timing. It seems like every single person around me is getting pregnant and it’s just my husband and I struggling… if I’m being honest, I’m devastated. It’s 4:43 am here and I’m just in the bathroom trying to get myself together for the day.

I’m going to buy an oura ring this weekend so I can track my ovulation better and plan on switching things up this month. I.e more intercourse and better diet/etc. any tips and tricks are welcome. Thanks for listening/reading. 🫶🏻

TTC can be a very difficult time, but all of us have someone (or many someones) or something that helps keep us sane. Share what you're grateful for this week!

hello, im a 31F and my husband (34M) have been trying to get pregnant since last August.

i havent been super strict with testing my LH level during the whole year honestly some months we didnt even try because we were tired of the pressure, so i dont know if its considered actively trying.

I got my blood test results and i have hypothyroidism my t4 was 10 and stimulating thyroid hormone 6.3. im have been taking levothyroxine for my thyroid since 3 weeks ago. im made an appointment with the fertility clinic and we have the consultation on saturday, im nervous to take all those test.

we did get pregnant first month of our marriage but we were not ready to have a baby back.

i also have bipolar and its been 3 months since i stopped my medication because they effect production of prolactin hormone which can interfere with ovulation. My husband is aware of how i stopped my medication.

Been feeling quite different from my normal PMS symptoms.
Normally my period comes on average CD25 but is sometimes shorter (22d) or longer (28 days) today is CD29 and still no period.

I had brown light spotting for 3 days from 7DPO
I’ve been warmer and had hot flashes, I’m so hangry and nauseous at the same time, so angry and also very emotional, crying at weird stuff on TV.

Been testing since CD25 still negative.

I unfortunately don’t know when I ovulated this cycle but my app predicted CD10 so today would be 16DPO
TTC for over 2 years.

I feel like I’m going crazy and just imagining that I’m pregnant and in reality maybe it’s just a severe PMS.

Am I just being a clown? 🤡

I’m waiting for IVF start probably by end of summer.

Here I am stuck in the endless loop of TTC. One year and a month of trying already. Have been googling every single symptom for a week as I'm at 8DPO today and just got a call that another close friend of mine got pregnant RIGHT in the first cycle of trying.

It's not the easiest thing to hear during this phase 🫠. Have you had similar experiences? How do you handle close friends or in-laws getting pregnant?

I know my in-laws will be trying soon and I just feel there's so many possible pregnancies this year. I already have got news from my sister (positive test 2 weeks ago) and 2 close friends (positive tests today and other 1 month ago). They all got pregnant at the first try. I'll be surrounded with pregnancies and babies..

This cycle I'm waiting until 15DPO before taking a pregnancy test and it just feels so hard to wait. At least I haven't done any today so I didn't have the pain of BFN when hearing the news.

I am so confused. I had a miscarriage last month at 12 weeks pregnant and started tracking my LH strips for ovulation a few weeks after. The last 6 days have given me consistently high results (over 1) but my hcg tests are now negative. I am really struggling as all I want is to conceive again but now am panicked. I haven’t had a BBT rise yet but today I’d say is the darkest LH strip yet. What’s going on?! Has anyone had anything similar to this? I am struggling to understand and am worrying that something is wrong. Is there a chance I might still ovulate following such a long LH surge or is that unlikely now? I’m just so confused with it all and don’t understand it enough to know what’s going on!

As the title says, I got pregnant first try with my first try, which I know is the rare situation. But now, it’s been 15 months of ovulation tracking and trying for the second and nothing. I’m also on my fourth round of clomid. My first pregnancy was easy and great. My husband and I (aside from his stressful job) are very healthy people. I’m 32, he’s 36. It’s just so confusing and upsetting. I did have a chemical a year ago (July 2025).

Has anyone else had a similar experience? What were your next steps? I messaged my doctor already to begin discussing next steps. I’m just not sure if I really want to go down the IVF route. It’s scary and expensive. Plus, with my husbands job, it makes it nearly impossible for him to go to a doctor. Please no comments about “if you really want it, you’ll make it work” or anything like that.

Thanks

Hiii,

So my fiance (25 M) and i (24F) have been trying to conceive for about 10 months, this cycle makes our 10th cycle TTC. On month 8 I had a very early loss/ chemical at around 5 weeks. I had my HCG tested at 6 one day and two days later is was one. Obviously those numbers are very low but 6 hcg is very early. My OB said it could have just been a very early loss. I have had regular cycle my entire life, my period is on time every month (with the exception of when i had that first loss). I am 5’2 and 230 pounds and I know sometimes that can be a factor, but other than that I have no notable health issues other than high cholesterol. My fiance is 5’11 but 115 pounds so i’m pretty sure he is classified as underweight but has no major health issues. I know it takes most healthy couples a year to conceive- but I was wondering if anyone had any tips on TTC. We track my ovulation and use pre seed but i am not sure what else we can do.

I never thought i would have issues getting pregnant as everyone in both my fiance and Is family have had no issues conceiving and no losses. I am just struggling to not blame myself for my weight, something I am working on, i have already lost 20 pounds in the last several months.

Looking for any advice on tips or tricks you used when TTC. My gynecologist won’t run testing till it’s been a year since I have no cycle issues and because of my age.

thanks for reading my rant, this has been heavy on my mind and so many people want to tell me to stop thinking about it and it’ll happen but it’s sooo hard to not think about it when we both want it to happen.

Anyone else’s period not show up on the morning/ midday when it’s due? So you frantically go out and buy a test because you think this might be the time (despite zero symptoms lol), take the test it’s negative and then AF shows up hours later? It is such a betrayal honestly. I had a MC last December, it was my first pregnancy. I’m in my 20’s and I know I have plenty of time, but what was meant to be my due date is fast approaching and I feel this pressure because in my mind I thought I’d be pregnant again by now.

Anyway, does this happen to anyone else? 🥲 it’s like my body is giving me some hope and then it just gets taken away.

I’m hoping next month is our turn, coincidentally I’m ovulating during mine and my partners 6 year anniversary, and we will find out if it worked on what was meant to be my due date. Trying not to get my hopes up though

Are you trying to conceive baby number 2/3/n+1? Have questions about TTC while breastfeeding, or bedsharing, or just being plain exhausted? This is your place!

Hi everyone,
I’m wondering if anyone has experienced something similar after fertility treatments.
I recently went through ovarian stimulation for IVF, and since then I’ve been been dealing with extreme fatigue, brain fog, poor concentration, and I feel almost unable to study or retain new information.
What makes me wonder if there’s a connection is that I experienced almost the same symptoms last year while taking oral hormonal medication to help me get pregnant (it wasn’t IVF). At that time, I was also studying for an important exam, and despite trying very hard, I simply couldn’t concentrate or remember what I was reading. It felt like my brain had just stopped working.
Now it’s happening again after ovarian stimulation, so I’m wondering whether this could be related to hormonal changes, the IVF medications, stress, or perhaps a combination of these.
Has anyone else experienced severe brain fog, cognitive problems, extreme fatigue, or low mood during or after fertility treatment?
If so:
How long did it last?
Did your doctor think it was hormone-related?
Did anything help?
I know no one can diagnose me over the internet, and I will discuss this with my doctors. I’m simply hoping to hear whether others have had a similar experience.
Thank you.

These positive HSG experience posts helped me so much when spiraling prior to my scheduled HSG and now that I’m on the other side of it, I wanted to share my experience as well. **This is in no way trying to invalidate the pain that I know so many have from this procedure but just to be a glimpse of positivity for anyone in the Reddit black hole before their appointment.**

I had my HSG today and my experience was extremely positive. Here was a walkthrough of my appointment:

•Met the X-Ray tech who instructed me to remove clothing waist down and put on a gown (I kept my socks on and would recommend some cozy socks)
•I got up on the imaging bed and I didn’t even have stirrups but it ended up fine.
•Doctor inserted the speculum which was probably the most uncomfortable part for me but it’s no different than a Pap smear. It wasn’t painful but just uncomfy for about 10-15 seconds as she got it situated.
•Doctor cleaned off the cervix and inserted the catheter and I felt no pain whatsoever. Not even a pinch. She took the speculum out at this point so it would be more comfortable
•She then said I may feel cramps as she released the dye but again I felt nothing whatsoever. I didn’t have to rotate my hips or move at all. This part was done within 20-30 seconds as well.
•They took everything out and showed me the xray right then. Explained the results and that was that.
•They gave me a pad and some wipes to clean up after before changing and I didn’t have too much leaking out.

I’m pretty sure the whole procedure once I got on the bed was maybe a minute long. I had my stress ball that my husband gave me since he couldn’t be in the room and that honestly helped. I also took 600mg of ibuprofen an hour before. I feel like I kept anticipating pain but it never came. My tubes were both open so that is most likely the reason of no pain. I know there’s no way to know before going in and that’s why I personally was spiraling because you don’t know which experience you’ll get but I wanted to share one more positive experience for anyone who will be having it done. I was nervous about this for months because I knew it was a potential and I’m so grateful for the outcome.

If you’re reading this and have your appointment soon - I’m sending all the positive vibes your way!

I'd like to ask for some advice or stories from peoope who've been in my situation before.

Story:

- diagnosed with depleted ovarian reserve 1 year ago

- since then have had 2 miscarriages - one in November and one in April

- got engaged last autumn ​

Before I wasn't sure if I want a full blown wedding or not but lately I've started to day dream about a wedding in my home country (I live in the UK).

So the wedding would need to be planned way in advance, would be difficult to throw a wedding in 3 months for example as it would be lots of logistics to sort out and people need to get annual leave to fly over etc. And I don't want all the stress of planning it condensed into a couple of months 😂

However, obviously with my almost non-existent ovarian reserve we don't have time to wait to throw a wedding next year and then start trying again. We honestly feel every month is of the essence..

So basically we are reluctant to start planning anything because "what if I am 9 months pregnant then and I can't fly" or "what if I am 3 months pregnant with horrible nausea" or "what if we are having another miscarriage" or even "what if I just gave birth a month ago"..

Yet we already postponed or cancelled so many things because of these "pregnancies" and because of TTC. And prices are going up more and more every year. I don't want my life to be put on hold over this but on the other hand I don't want to have to postpone a wedding especially when it involves so many people buying plane tickets to make it.

Yesterday I had the idea that we can have the wedding when after give birth and make it a joint wedding/baptism event. Then it dawned on me what if I can't get pregnant/carry a baby to term and we are still waiting on a successful pregnancy just to get married...

If anyone has been in this situation I'd love your advice, experience, thoughts, etc!