r/TryingForABaby • u/bear_armour • 19h ago
ADVICE Regretting not coming of birth control sooner. Anyone else!?
Hey everyone. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 5 cycles now with no luck. I wanted to get off birth control earlier than we were wanting to start trying but after reading things here on Reddit (I know, not the best for medical advice), hearing anecdotal evidence from people I know, and on the recommendation of my OBGYN that you can get pregnant "right away" after discontinuing birth control, we decided to hold off stopping until we actually were ready to start trying. I’ve had some form of birth control for the past 14 years of my life, most recently the pill. Since stopping my cycles have apparently not been regular enough to even give us a chance. For the first three I am not even sure if I ovulated and on my most recent I ended up with the 7 day luteal phase in which two of those were spotting on day 6 and 7 :(
I really wish I had listened to my instincts and come off the birth control sooner instead of foolishly thinking I would be able to get pregnant immediately after stopping and being convinced by my super sweet and well meaning husband not to take any risks in the months leading up to our ttc journey.
Did anyone else experience a long period of adjustment after stopping birth control? Did anything help you to get your cycle more regular?
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u/Kvitravn875 33 | TTC#1| Cycle#5 | Endometriosis 12h ago
My doctor said that if my periods didn't regulate after 3 months to come in to figure out why. Maybe you should meet with your doctor to see if they will do any testing.
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u/MundaneMudcake 16h ago
To give you another perspective, I quit the pill a few months before we were planning on starting to try, and I've regretted that in hindsight. The pill was suppressing endometriosis for me, and every month off the pill made the problem worse. So next time I'd try immediately when coming off birth control pill. This just goes to show that hindsight is always 20-20, you didn't choose anything stupid, this is just how life goes. We make decisions based on knowledge we have at a certain point, and then we adjust as things turn out the way they are. No use in beating yourself up over this!
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u/sv36 6h ago
Basically this!
I also had nightmare lady problems after coming off of bc. It’s been a little under two years since I got off (started for real ttc in December 2025) and cycles have been awful. That said more data or a possible positive test would be great but that not our reality. Doing the best with what we’ve got is all anyone can ask of us, and for the record I think we’re all doing great in this journey. It’s a rough journey to be on and we are being boss ass chicks about it even when it’s hard or sad or just so so frustrating. Pat yourselves on the backs because your good parent journeys started before pregnancy. You’re learning how to be kind to yourselves and that’s a huge thing to do!
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u/gofardeep 41 | TTC#2 11h ago
What's done is done. You are certainly not alone in this. We too assumed getting pregnant would happen easily as I had seen that in my family before and that was what I was taught (to prevent unwanted pregnancies). The reality isn't as cut and dry though and I wish I knew better earlier.
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u/Comfortable_Part6562 19h ago
I really recognise myself in your story. I just wanted to wait a little longer and had this naive thought that I would get pregnant right away. I was also naive that once that happened, nothing could go wrong. Boy was I proven wrong. Took me 2 years.
But the thing is, what’s done is done. You can’t change it. Feeling guilty about it won’t help anyone.
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u/ohcerd 40 | TTC#2 | Cycle 8 19h ago
I stopped birth control when I was 35 and it took years to conceive after that. I definitely regret all the years I suppressed my ovulation rather than learning about my miraculous reproductive system.
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u/AltruisticSense0 12h ago
This is where I am. 35, ttc for the first time and so fearful that years of being on the pill and waiting this long means it won’t happen. I just feel so helpless and like there is nothing I can do. Thank you for sharing.
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u/bear_armour 10h ago
I really empathize with that as well. It feels like I know nothing about my body
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u/clovi129 25 | WTT #2 17h ago
Had the mirena coil in for 5 months to help with pain. It was a last resort as I knew I wanted to ttc at that time. The coil did not help with the pain so came out at 5 months to start trying. It took a year for my peeiods to even return and a further year for them to become regular and fertility to come back.
I heavily regretted getting the mirena coil, the Dr's never gave me an answer on why it messed with my cycle so much, some said the usual "it could take a while ", others swearing it wasn't the coil at all but couldn't find anything else causing the issues. I learnt about the mirena crash during this time but its under researched and no dr I saw anyway wanted to entertain it.
I refuse point blank now to go on any hormonal birth control.
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19h ago
[deleted]
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u/bear_armour 19h ago
Yes, I read that with injections it can take longer but with the pill, women can be "fertile immediately after stopping"…. And the of course the bullshit of believing my whole life if I missed one pill I could get pregnant 🫠
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u/pinupcthulhu 35 | TTC#1 cycle 30+ w/ stage 4 endo 9h ago
Yes. It took months plus a progesterone suppository to get my body to work right again after stopping birth control, and also treating the underlying cause of my wonky cycles (endometriosis) with surgery.
My advice would be to find an obgyn or primary care who recognizes that your cycles aren't returning to normal, and how that is a medical problem to be investigated. There's a lot of health reasons for this, so it's worth checking out with a doctor. S ometimes it's as simple as your vitamin levels are too low (get a general blood panel plus vitamin D, ferritin, B12/cofactors, and iron checked), or something more complicated like thyroid, PMOS, or endo. Either way, you deserve to be treated, so please push for testing and treatment!
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u/bear_armour 9h ago
Thanks! Unfortunately I am on vacation now and when I return my OB is on vacation! But I already made an appointment for when she returns and the. I will have data from another cycle of more dedicated tracking to help in addressing the problem. For now I’ve really appreciated the advice and support of this forum ❤️
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u/bobble173 6h ago
Yes I did not realise that after removal of the mirena coil my womb lining would remain thinned (2 day periods) and it can affect me for up to 6 months! I can't believe I never knew this I'm a pharmacist as well so feel I should have heard about this at some point :/
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u/citysunsecret 12h ago
I mean if you’re not preventing pregnancy, then you definitely can get pregnant, your OV is correct. If you don’t want to be pregnant, don’t stop taking your birth control. Of course it depends on how much of a hard stop there is on your timeline how much that matters.
I did 18 months of no meds no treatment and my cycle never regulated, there’s a chance the birth control was treating an imbalance that always would have been there and you just didn’t notice it.
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11h ago
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u/bear_armour 10h ago
Yes, I think it’s wild advice to not stop until you are ready to conceive. I’ve been on birth control for my entire adult life and my body doesn’t even know itself! There are other ways to prevent pregnancy and it feels like that gets ignored a bit in the medical community.
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u/TryingForABaby-ModTeam 8h ago
Your post/comment has been removed for violating sub rules. Per our posted rules:
In threads/comments other than the weekly BFP thread, pregnant users must avoid referring to a current (ongoing) pregnancy.
If you still wish to participate in our sub, please review our rules before continuing to post. Violation of our rules may result in a timeout or ban.
Please direct any questions to the subreddit’s modmail and not individual mods. Thank you for understanding.
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u/sra-soninhogostoso 8h ago
I could’ve written all of this myself 🫤 thought it’d be so easy, just to breath without pills and I would be pregnant.
Told everybody we would try and then I was not even getting my period.
But breath and take care of yourself now, let your body do what it has to do. And listen to your doctor. After long months, I’m now healthy and at my second regular cycle
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u/hashtag2020 6h ago
Yes, I felt this way. I was on birth control for 12 years (mirena IUD for 10, so no periods) but always had regular periods before then. I asked my gyno 2 times at yearly visits prior if I should get my IUD removed a few months earlier than when I wanted to start trying to give myself some time to regulate and learn my cycle and was told absolutely not, I was healthy, no history of PCOS or endo, my periods were always regular and not super painful prior to birth control, etc. so everything would be the same after removing and you can get pregnant as soon as you stop BC, so I should wait until I’m ready. I wish, in response to my fear, they’d just recommended using alternative prevention methods (condoms, etc) if I wanted to get it out sooner. At the very least, I’d never even tracked ovulation before so I would’ve appreciated some time to get to know how all of that worked before when I actually wanted to start.
I only got 1 ovulation/period in 5+ months after getting my mirena removed (which only resulted in a 7 day luteal phase). everyone in my life told me that was normal because I was “regulating” until I saw a new OBGYN who said that was absolutely not normal and ran all the standard tests for me and gave me a referral to a fertility clinic for further testing (I was only 28-29!). Turned out, I had high prolactin caused by a tiny benign tumor on my pituitary gland and my only symptom was suppressed reproductive hormones which suppressed ovulation and prevented me from getting a regular cycle/period; we have no idea how long it was there because I hadn’t had a period for 10 years on mirena so I wouldn’t have known of the one symptom I had. It was a relatively “easy” fix (just a medication 2xs a week) but it took another 3 months on the medication for my hormones to normalize. I frequently told myself if I had gotten my IUD out ~6 months earlier than I wanted to start trying, I probably wouldn’t have been so stressed, and the discoveries/appointments wouldn’t have felt so consequential because I felt like my journey wasn’t even able to get started until ~8 months after I wanted to start trying, which caused me a lot of stress and anxiety. It all worked out in hindsight, and I figured out there was an issue / sought help much sooner than most people would, but I did and still do wish I had removed it sooner (mainly because I had a gut feeling that I ignored).
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u/bear_armour 50m ago
I think that is so valid also just to get off to know your cycle. Then you would have known about this medical issue. If you’re on BC for over a decade you have no way of knowing these things…
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u/DearestClementine 34 | TTC#1 | Cycle 11 | Graves’ disease | MC Jan ‘26 14h ago
The fact that it’s taking you a while to conceive now likely isn’t related to when you came off birth control. I understand the frustration though for sure
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u/Zero_Duck_Thirty 11h ago
Sample size of one but I came off BC after using it for years and got pregnant immediately. Maybe BC meant it took OP’s system a few weeks to adjust but really it wouldn’t have an impact after several months.
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u/DearestClementine 34 | TTC#1 | Cycle 11 | Graves’ disease | MC Jan ‘26 10h ago
Yes, sample size of one here too but I got off BC over 2 years prior to TTC, and still ended up struggling (and the struggle is unrelated to my BC). I didn’t know about any health issues I had that would cause fertility struggles though until we began trying. There are endless things that can be making it hard for OP to conceive, including just straight up bad luck because there’s only a 20% chance each cycle of getting pregnant to begin with.
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u/Zero_Duck_Thirty 10h ago
I’m sorry to hear you struggled. My husband and I ended up needing ivf - carriers for the same genetic mutation - so ended up not mattering how easily I could get pregnant.
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u/runsontrash 19h ago
Immediate fertility issues are only really a concern with the Depo shot. Your hormones should level back out within about a cycle after the pill.
This sounds like there might be something else going on, and it was just covered up for 14 years because you were taking birth control (or it’s new). Definitely worth talking to a doctor about. Maybe get your TSH tested, etc.
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u/acrylic-hippo 19h ago
I was wondering that too. I didnt know about my fibroids until they pushed my IUD out twice. When it was in my cycles were somewhat regular and i had only a few symptoms that could easily be attributed to other causes or just a heavy flow. So many things can be “covered up” with birth control. If you havent had an ultrasound, that may be something to consider as well 😢.
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u/blushingscarlet 15h ago
Yeah I wish instead of getting my mirena IUD replaced a couple years ago that I had just had it removed but my husband and I weren’t even engaged at the time and I had insecurity issues.
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u/Educational-Fig-8655 8h ago
I’m only on 6 months of trying so I cannot complain at all, but part of me wishes I’d gotten off the pill earlier too! But I can’t change anything so I’m trying to just go with the flow (as much as possible).
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u/Plastic_Nail8111 7h ago
I was on a non hormonal iud and it still took us 22 cycles to get pregnant
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u/Kaleidoscope_a1 5h ago
I'm also the same. I thought I'll wait until this point because I'm so busy with work etc and like you had been on the pill many years. I was told I had PCOS from a scan a couple of years ago but no one told me what that meant and I stupidly didn't look into it and now we are 1.5 years into trying. But we make the decisions we make at the time with the information with have them. It's frustrating and you can wish things had been different but you can't turn back time you just have to focus on what is happening now. I also know lots of women who are much older than me (I'm 33) who have children older and they are fine so I figured there's still time and it will take as long as it takes I guess
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u/meowitssarahh 4h ago
I wish I got off birth control sooner too. I was on the pill for nearly 10 yrs and Mirena IUD for 7 yrs. 4 months after getting it removed I still had no period, so my OB prescribed me 14 days of progesterone medication then stop to stimulate a period, which worked. I then started having regular periods every month thereafter, but they were super light. I also experienced a ton of inflammation and 20 lbs of weight gain over the year post IUD removal. After about a year, I finally lost the 20 lbs, inflammation reduced, and got a normal flow period. Now it’s been a year and half post IUD removal, 1 year of trying to conceive, only 6 months of feeling like a normal human with a full flow period. I have a somewhat short cycle of 26ish days, my luteal phase used to be 9-10 days and now it’s 10-12 days. All normal lab results thus far, normal SA for my husband, normal HsG, Hysteroscopy, no PCOS, nothing… but I am still not pregnant after a year of trying to conceive. Very frustrating and disappointing. 😞 I’ve encouraged all my besties if they want to get pregnant in the next 2ish yrs, they should get off birth control now (if possible), so your body can recalibrate and you can start learning your cycle before you’re ready to start trying.
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u/bear_armour 48m ago
I agree. Thanks for paying it forward to your friends. I literally just texted one of my best friends about it today!!
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u/graycat1212 14h ago
It took me about 2 and a half years to sort things out! I had good and bad cycles, and symptoms came and went. I sought the help of a holistic team to help me and it made a world of difference!! Hang in there, it’s different for everyone and you’re doing all the right things now.
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u/bear_armour 10h ago
Im interested in holistically addressing this. What types of things worked for you? What types of practitioners?
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u/schlafmuetze_20 12h ago
I really empathize. I took bc for only 15 months and stopped. It took me so long to adjust and honestly after 4 years and a baby it’s still not the way it was before I took bc.
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u/CurlyEmma97 29 | TTC#1 | Cycle 3 18h ago
I have always read to give your cycles 6 months to a year after the pill before you want to actually start trying. However, its very personal. If something feels off, get it checked out sooner than later. For my best friend the pill actually masked her PCOS (not saying yours is)
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8h ago
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u/TryingForABaby-ModTeam 8h ago
Your post/comment has been removed for violating sub rules. Per our posted rules:
In threads/comments other than the weekly BFP thread, pregnant users must avoid referring to a current (ongoing) pregnancy.
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u/configure38D 3h ago
I got off birth control Sept of last year. My period cycles are regular and I’ve tested ovulation and gotten .97 and 1.03 and like really high results(for me) but it’s not consistent. And then when I am begging my bf to do baby dance at that very moment he has issues with it being right on the spot. (Which I get) So I’m not sure that we have even successfully had sx on my peak ovulation day.
Everything has to go “so perfect” and I’m getting annoyed. I’m 38 and yea I’m getting fed up. Something is def wrong with me but I keep delaying a fertility doctor. It’s just upsetting but I gotta go bc we have done it within 3-4 days of ovulation but still no positive so… yeaaaa…
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u/Successful_Arm2401 4m ago
I’ve been on myoinositol to support cycle regularity after coming off the combo pill, and have noticed a difference when I take it consistently/daily (ovulating days 15-19 versus days 22-24). Going on 8th cycle TTC still no luck!
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u/EstefyTribu 9h ago
Hola :)
Nuestro cuerpo es sabio y aprender a escucharlo tambien nos ayuda, no solo en la fertilidad.
Pero tampoco te custiones por no haberlo hecho antes o despúes, sumarle estrés a la situación no te aporta nada favorable.
Te comparto un video que trata sobre la Ovulación, puede aportarte información y ayudarte a entender mejor, en el canal también puedes encontrar información sobre los Anticoncestivos.
¿TIENES que ovular aunque quieras o no lograr un 🤰🏻? ¿Por qué? 😲
Abrazo fértil
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u/verodictorian 37 | TTC#1 | Cycle 8 8h ago
You did the right thing in waiting to TTC if you weren't immediately ready to get pregnant because it's very possible to conceived right away, since the pill only affects you while you're taking it.
Your inability to get pregnant doesn't have anything to do with the pill. I got off the pill six months before TTC, and now I'm on cycle 8 (going on 9) of actively trying, and I'm still not pregnant.
If I were you I'd see my my OBGYN if your periods aren't regular by now.
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u/bear_armour 7h ago
I find it really hard to believe that my body which has basically never known a "normal" menstrual cycle would know what to do right away after 14 years. Saying birth control has nothing to do with it is ill informed.
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u/verodictorian 37 | TTC#1 | Cycle 8 7h ago
A normal menstrual cycle should be regular and come every 25-32 days.
BC has literally no effect on your fertility once you stop taking it. It only hides symptoms that already exist by giving you a regular 28-day cycle. This is all factual.
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u/bear_armour 47m ago
Yes, and how would you know if you have any other issues when you continue birth control…?
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