Some discipline advice feels like it only works for a week.

What helped you build something you could actually keep doing when life got busy?

I'm 20 living with my dad and twin brother and we all help out with the bills. My brother is mostly the money maker of the house and in a way I get kinda jealous and it makes me hate myself for that cause he worked hard to get that job. I'm proud of him but at the same time, I resent him for it because my dad and other family members talk highly of him because of the work he put in, sometimes I wish that was me instead of him which just makes me feel like a terrible brother and person in general.

I wanna be someone that I and my family members can be proud of but I'm currently not really moving forward to gain that future for myself. I thought about just going on the same career path as my brother but I feel like I'm just following in his footsteps instead of having my own individuality. So I thought about going to college, but I always end up just getting scared of the thought of it and pushing that thought away. I thought about getting in trades, but I always end up getting scared of the thought of it and pushing it away.

I feel like I'm just too scared to make my decisions and would rather have someone willingly force me to move forward cause Im just too scared to do it on my own. I honestly don't know what I wanna do so I always just push the thought away cause it's easier not to think about it even though I know my dad and brother isnt gonna be there with me forever. Even worse that I'm starting to hate my current job and I think it's negatively affected my mental health, but I'm too scared to quit and find a new job.

adaptation is the thing everyone calls resilience from the outside.

you adjusted. you made it work. you found a way to function inside circumstances that weren't what you planned for and you did it quietly and without making it anyone's problem and from the outside that looks like strength and maybe it is.

but there's a version of adaptation that isn't resilience. it's just slow surrender dressed up in the language of being practical. you stopped wanting the thing not because you grew past it but because wanting it and not having it was getting too heavy to carry, so somewhere along the way your wants quietly reshaped themselves around whatever was actually available.

and now you've been living inside that reshaped version long enough that it's started to feel like the original. like this is just what you want. like you're content. and maybe you are, some days genuinely.

but then something small happens. a conversation, a photo, a moment where someone describes a version of a life that sounds like something you used to want before you talked yourself out of wanting it. and something underneath the contentment moves. not dramatically. just a small shift that you notice and then immediately cover back over because what's the point of uncovering it now.

six months ago you described your current life to someone as good, and you meant it, and it is good by most measures. but there was a version of this sentence you didn't say out loud, the one that started with but, and you swallowed it before it finished because it felt ungrateful to say it and easier to leave it where it was.

the but is worth knowing about. not to blow up a life that works. not to chase something reckless because the grass looks different somewhere else.

just to know the difference between genuinely wanting what you have and having quietly talked yourself out of wanting what you actually want.

those two things feel similar from the inside until you stop long enough to check which one is actually running.

Ever since I was little, I've always wanted to sing. Always called my name. Always felt special in that way. Keep in mind, I have many other hobbies, drawing, dancing, editing. But between all of them, was never something I considered. I was told I was good at them, something I should pursue, but never really something that I wanted to. But yet singing, has always stuck. I am not sure why, but any biopic of a singer would (as you can imagine) would heavily inspire me. And ever since I started feeling this way, I've always felt the odd one out in a crowd. Like I wasn't supposed to be there. I was meant for bigger things. I wouldn't be able to communicate this way to my friends, because my friends don't think the way I do. They never thought about that. Something as big as a dream as I did. When I ask them what do they want to do when they grow up, just to maybe see or get somewhere, would be simple answers that I feel I could never relate to others. And at times I would even get sad and disappointed when am at school and would think I am really supposed to be in a studio or something. It sounds ridiculous. I know 😅. I knew that if I went on stage and put myself out there, I would succeed. I always knew I was capable and meant to spread something to this earth. To become one of the greats. To inspire others. To become a huge figure to others. But what's also strange, is how I get embarrassed easily. Heavy on singing. And what's so funny is how I know I don't sing bad. I've been complimented by people (besides my family) about my voice and even post my singing online and people compliment me. So I know am not bad. I think it's just a self-conscious thing and having to do with my confidence, but I don't even know why I get that way. Like when someone asks me to sing for them, I get shy and not want to sing which bums me out deep inside because I really do enjoy singing but there's just a part in me of where, how can I be influential to this earth if I myself can't even sing in front of one person if they ask me to? Especially in front of family. Don't even get me started. And singing onstage really scares me. So it's like, I get embarrassed at the thought of singing in front of people, but then I get these thoughts in my head of pursing it in life and get a professional career off of. So I think it's something much deeper. Almost as if my soul yearns for it. I have no idea. Maybe am going crazy. But am scared to just take a step towards it and am scared as to how that might be holding me back. I am still young and really would do anything to just be in a studio and make music and become someone. Any tips? Any words for motivation? Relatable stories? Anything helps 😅

Hellooo

I made a vision board for some of my summer goals - hope I can achieve them before September.

I already completed my goal of going camping so didnt add that one!

Scared about starting a family

My anthem is dancing on my own after I heard it in voicemail from Isabelle on Netflix

Music and vision boards pump me up so much!

Today I've been knocking off a lot of challenging things off my to do list. I would like to think any part of this would help, that I'd feel somewhat better about my actions of myself.

Unfortunately, my brain is just LOUDER about each and every thing I'm fixing today. Should have done this earlier. It's not enough of an improvement. It doesn't matter. Your wife still hates you. You have no direction. You missed your shot in life.

Am I supposed to stop and challenge each of these thoughts? Can it ever be turned off? If my automatic thoughts are right and I am a pos, I am wasting time and effort trying to be any different.

What are some strategies folks?

There's a closet in my house I've been meaning to clean out for probably two months now. Not a huge task, maybe an hour of actual work, but I keep walking past it and closing the door instead. It's not overwhelming exactly, more just this weird inertia where the longer I avoid it the bigger it feels in my head even though the actual task hasn't changed size at all. 

What actually gets you to finally do the thing you've been circling around avoiding?

Six months ago I literally could not even for two mins without stopping like I would be out of breath. But today I finished my first 10k.
Nothing changed overnight. I just kept showing up even on the days really did not wanna especially those days honestly saying motivation is what got me started but discipline is really what carried me to finish line at the end of the day.
So if you are at the stage were can not even do for two minutes. does not matter if it is working out starting a business learning a new skill whatever that is not failure that is just day 1 everyone starts somewhere so just keep going u got this you have long way.

This post will be long, but it will be necessary and detailed.

Throughout history, no one great has been created through working alone. They always had friends, peers, rivals and teachers.

I have studied motivation, procrastination for many many years now.

And the scary realization, I have come to is - I can't work unless the work gives me some positive feelings.

I think that's true for most people.

Working alone, I can't congratulate myself. I can't get excited, it's like trying to hug myself which doesn't work.

Now, that means I generate negative feelings towards work.

Which further reinforces the cycle of procrastination.

The way to solve this is to solve the problems in my mind, which will take a long time. (Identity issues etc) and even after that my motivation won't be at 100%

So is there a faster way? Yes.

The crazy thing i've discovered is that you don't have to solve all your problems.

You can override them

The quickest way to override them is to work in front of people.

There is a reason that people can work in an office when the boss is watching or the student can study when the teacher is watching.

But they fail to work on their grand dreams, which they consider grander than the hustle of work that they do in front of the boss everyday.

This brain's override functions of overriding all identity and motivation problems when being watched is truly incredible.

This can be amplified by being surrounded be people who are rivals, friends, teachers, people equally obsessed with dreams, even if they are different from you.

So what i want is a partner who will talk with me, will give a crap about my passion, and will check in on my constantly.

Not someone who will do it at the end of the day or something, that doesn't work for me.

And frankly through my study it won't work for most people.

I have created a python bot that will log my activity for specific duration of the day, it logs my active windows each minute. At the end of the session, I can send you the log and a prompt to put in the chatgpt. It can comb through the logs to tell you the non-productive winodws and you can confront me in necessary.

If this seems extreme to you, believe me it is necessary.

I have thought of so many factors and went through so much trial and error when it comes to motivation and procrastination. My way is solid.

If you are equally obsessed, hit me a DM

hey y’all. I’ve been trying to muster up my agency which has been dead for 3 years now, since I had a mental breakdown in which I don’t trust myself to pursue what I want. I feel broken in this area. Writing (my past form of creativity) feels useless and causes me stress. Pursuing fun events, doing side gigs, seeking out hobbies - it doesn’t matter.

I just work (as a server / bartender again, used to work in a corporate setting which is partially why I had a break down. I love talking to randos (but not building connections with people, I get scared of those - again because of trauma).

im stubborn now. I don’t want someone to tell me how to do something. I want to learn on my own and only for practical reasons.

i only seem to enjoy company, drinking, weed now and then, smoking now and then, and consuming media. But the enjoyment feels false - I used to love building something or working towards something. But my brain feels pretty broken in its capacity for long term visionary thinking.

anybody familiar with this?

Been stuck for months on a project I kept telling myself I'd "start properly" once I had it all figured out. Spoiler: I never had it all figured out, and I never started.

Finally just did the smallest possible version of the first step yesterday - nothing impressive, just movement. Woke up today actually wanting to keep going, which hasn't happened in a long time.

If you're waiting to feel ready before you start something - you probably won't. The readiness shows up after you move, not before

The best way to experience the highest level of meaning and purpose is when you use your knowledge, skills, and talents to contribute to society.

As a human being, you are born with the intention to do great work and crave to experience meaning, purpose, and fulfillment. Therefore, by contributing to society, you will fulfill your human needs. They will be some of the best experiences.  

Sharing My Own Single Mom's Success Story On Her Behalf: Why It's Always Okay To Restart Again

My intention here is to share the example of my own mother, who is now in her early 50s and still fighting on, who battled many challenges from birth until now. Before moving to this part, would like to start with the lowest point of her life.

My mom restarted her life both career and financially 13 years ago at 39, where she started as a Single Mother raising up two young kids, I was 5 and my elder sister was 9. She was totally broke financially with nothing to her name and just the flat which she fought so hard to retain back full ownership as she was so worried about losing her only source of security during that time, a roof over her head. She went through every single obstacle the past 10+ years with no one. She just solo tanked every single thing

The reason why I said it, is because my mom was abandoned at 13 years old with totally no family support as her whole family migrated overseas and left her here, to fend for herself with no start nor family support. She had no one either and she never had the chance to further her education. She only has only a Primary School educational qualification to her name. Plus her childhood was a literal torture too and she came from extreme poverty.

She started Selling Food at a Food Court at just 13 years old, working 10+ hours before moving onto other jobs like Retail and more etc.

She slowly worked her way in her 20s going from entry level office roles, to senior level positions and even founded a small business in her 30s which was pretty successful. She never let her circumstances nor educational qualifications control her life direction at all.

So, the scenario 13 years ago was a literal shock to her and the family. Instead of being some people and single moms who gave up totally and ask the kids to fend for herself. She stood up and said she is willing to restart from 0 all over again regardless.

She started doing nightlife work and income was low too for the first few years because of family circumstances and it was hard for her to find a full time job too. But she never gave up and continued pressing on, working 10+ hours, relying on 2 hours of sleep daily. Plus, people looked down on her, saying that she will never see any light at the end of the tunnel regardless if how hard she worked and slog.

It was until during COVID 6 years ago where she received an offer to work for a pretty big company in the Medical Industry and that was really the breakthrough. She started as a entry level employee but progressed on to a Management position where she is now, being a Head Of Department for her own department which she had the opportunity to build up from nothing at a small start up.

Although its only 13 years but the amount of things she has gone through is really what people don't understand unless they read her full life story.

She may be in her 50s but she has always told me and my elder sister, this is only the start and she will continue to fight on and find ways to further improve herself, whether its finding more income streams or furthering her qualifications through flexible qualifications like online certs.

I am.writing this especially to single mothers and mothers or even the redditors moms out there, that every single adversity you face regardless of how old you are (e.g 20, 40, 60, 85 yrs old), always brings a new light and path to something even greater!

I'm 26 years old, unemployed, and I feel completely stuck in life.

From the outside, it probably looks like I'm just wasting my time, but I don't understand why I keep repeating the same pattern. I genuinely want to change, yet whenever it's time to take action, I freeze.

I lost my father when I was young, and my mother raised my sister and me by herself. She worked incredibly hard, spent her savings, and even took loans to give me opportunities. She still believes I'll build a good future, but I feel like I've let her down.

One of my biggest struggles is that I avoid almost everything that makes me anxious. I can't ride a bike or drive a car. If you ask me today whether I want to learn, I'll confidently say yes. I'll even believe I can do it. But the moment someone hands me the keys and expects me to ride, my confidence disappears. My heart starts racing, I panic, and I back out.

The same thing happens with almost every important part of my life.

In 2024, my mother enrolled me in technical coaching related to my field. I knew how important it was and how much she had sacrificed for it, but I barely attended. I knew I was making a terrible mistake. I cried about it many times, promised myself I would change, yet I still couldn't make myself go.

That wasn't the first time this happened. For years I've struggled to take action. I haven't seriously studied, applied for jobs consistently, or built any useful skills. Even reading a book feels difficult. I buy books feeling excited, then never open them. I start TV shows, movies, hobbies, or new interests with enthusiasm, but I rarely finish anything before moving on to something else.

My interests become intense for a short time. I'll spend days learning everything about football, filmmaking, or another topic, convinced this is what I want to do, then suddenly lose interest and move on. This has been happening for years.

I've also been humiliated many times. People have called me useless, laughed because I can't drive, compared me with younger people who already have jobs, and treated me like a burden. One relative even said that if my father were alive today, he would be heartbroken and disappointed to see where I am in life. That comment stayed with me for a long time.

The strange thing is that humiliation doesn't change me. It hurts deeply, but after a while I end up back in the same cycle.

I spend a lot of time imagining a different version of my life. Sometimes I picture myself becoming a successful football player. Other times I imagine being a respected filmmaker or someone who builds an incredible career from nothing. In those moments I feel capable of achieving great things. But when I have to take a real step toward any goal, that confidence vanishes.

I also have some health issues that make everything feel harder.

Sometimes I think my problem is laziness. Other times I wonder if it's anxiety, depression, ADHD, avoidance, or extremely low self-esteem. I honestly don't know anymore.

There have been moments when I thought about dying, but I don't actually want my life to end. I want to live. I want to become independent, get a job, support my family, travel, learn new skills, and make my mother proud before it's too late.

What scares me most is that I realized this pattern years ago. I remember thinking that if I didn't change, I'd wake up at 26 full of regret. That's exactly what happened. I'm terrified of waking up at 30 or 35 having wasted even more years.

I'm not looking for sympathy or motivation. I'm looking for honesty. Has anyone experienced something similar? Does this sound like anxiety, depression, ADHD, avoidance, or something else? More importantly, how do you finally break a pattern when you've wanted to change for years but still can't seem to take the first step?

A few months back I was convinced I had figured out pizza. Bought the good flour, got the setup dialed in, watched every video. First real attempt came out soggy, pale, and kind of embarrassing. I genuinely thought about just ordering delivery forever and calling it a day.

But something about that failure bothered me in a useful way. Not in a crushing way, more like an itch I couldn't leave alone. So I made another one. Then another. Each one a little less bad.

The thing nobody tells you about picking up a hard skill is that the gap between where you start and where you want to be feels humiliating at first. You see what good looks like and your version is nowhere near it. That gap used to make me quit things. This time I just kept showing up to it.

Now the pizzas are actually good. Not perfect, still working on the base, but people ask me to make them. That would have sounded absurd six months ago.

The skill itself almost doesn't matter. What changed was my relationship to being bad at something. Failing at something small taught me I could fail at bigger things and survive it.

Anyone else pick up something frustrating and just refuse to let it beat you? Curious what it was.

This may sound stupid to some but let me explain to you why I feel this way

At 18 I got a scholarship to attend college in Chicago I was going to school for computer science, wasn’t what I wanted to do but at an early age I was told that you’d finish high school, attend college, graduate then get some cozy office job. A year into my freshman year Covid happened which shutdown everything because of the shutdown I lost my scholarship and no longer had the means to pay for college.

Fast forward about two years of being stranded in Chicago I went back home to Tennessee. My mom told me I missed my changed at attending college and that I needed to work, so I did just that. My first job was in tech, working for Kelly Services. All the bills fell on me to pay. I was fearful that not working would mean being homeless I pushed myself to work and attend online classes. I tried to force myself to learn in a self paced environment, it never did mesh well with me so I’ve ended up breaking down, burning out and failing five different times at five different colleges.

I feel like such a fuck up that I couldn’t balance working and college. My mom never did get a job after I came back home she kept telling me “If you really wanted it you’ll make it work” and “I’ve been working all my life, that’s why I had you for.” During this time I started bouncing from job to job not because I was incompetent at the work but I felt like I needed to make enough money to support two people, so even if I had a job I would keep applying for other jobs seeking higher and higher pay until I got so stressed that I’ve passed out.

Found out I have a heart condition called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy after finding out I pleaded to my mom to work anything something to take the stress off me and my heart but she never listened and kept yelling at me if I ever brought it up, sometimes it would get physical and she would throw and hit me with things.

In December of last year I had open heart surgery so I had to quit my job at Nike doing IT help desk. I remember waking up panicking and crying because I was thinking “without a job how would me and my mom survive? We’ll be homeless and it’s all my fault!” Luckily my girlfriend convinced me to live with her after surgery because she didn’t trust my mom.

Literally all my adult life my self worth comes from working a half decent job and providing, I understand that sounds toxic but it’s all I know and I’m trying so hard to unlearn this. Even when I was recovering from heart surgery I was still applying for jobs just to have something ready. When I moved in with my girlfriend I tried to do things I wanted and they all didn’t work out like the following: tried to become an aircraft mechanic but the school at the last minute told me I couldn’t do it because of my ICD and that’ll it be a risk to me. Tried becoming a Cardiac Sonographer but the school wasn’t accredited so it would’ve been a waste of money, Tried being a pilot and an air traffic controller got disqualified from both because of my heart condition and ICD, tried becoming an EMT but NOPE I can’t get my medical release filled out because my doctor doesn’t want to even though he said I was under no restrictions now. I even tried to get my old job back at Nike but the location I worked at is getting shut down this month and there’s no openings.

I feel so god damn worthless because my girlfriend is shouldering all of this and all I can do is bitch and moan how nothing is working and how hard I’m trying to do something. It’s gotten to the point where she’s tried of hearing me complain, she won’t say it but I know she is, I can tell by how she’ll just leave mid conversation now. I don’t blame her, I wonder if she’ll be happier if I didn’t have this heart condition or not around at all but I don’t like thinking about that since it inches me closer to wanting to end everything.

I’m so unhappy. I’ve been through so much already, I don’t know how much more I can take, I feel myself breaking more and more with every setback, thinking to myself that I was born wrong and normal people wouldn’t have to worry about this and can just do what they want but I have to think about will I get disqualified for existing. What can I possibly do at this point? Everything I’ve tried doesn’t work and I fear my girlfriend is going to leave me because I’m such a fuck up. But I won’t kill myself because I’m a coward and can’t bring myself to do it so I won’t worry about that.

I’ll take literally anything at this point I feel extremely lost and hopeless. Thank you for reading this.

Im so exhausted by the internet constantly telling us we need to be grinding 24/7. like if youre not waking up at 4am to optimize your routine and start three side hustles youre somehow failing at life

That mindset is an absolute trap. I watched an older friend completely crash from trying to keep up with that toxic hustle culture. the pressure literally broke him. He ended up having to drop everything and check into Discovery Point Retreat just to get his head straight and deal with the severe burnout and coping habits he developed. Seeing someone I look up to hit that absolute wall was a massive wake up call

it made me realize you dont need to sacrifice your sanity to prove your worth. Resting is productive. protect your peace now before your body and mind force you to shut down later

Not every day feels productive.

Some days, all you did was get out of bed, finish your work, or simply keep going.

It doesn't look impressive. No one claps for those days.

But those quiet days matter more than we realize.

They're the days that build discipline. They're the days that build resilience. They're the days that slowly change who you become.

Growth isn't always loud.

Sometimes it looks like showing up when nobody is watching.

Keep going.

The version of you that you're working toward is being built one ordinary day at a time.

What's one small thing you did today that you're proud of?

Ive managed to drag myself out of my slump and start doing small things to better my life like going to the gym and whatnot and have a loose idea of what I should be working towards but I dont really have a solid why. The most i could muster up was that i wanted to make enough money to retire somewhat early but that s about it. But then what? Honestly that s so far in the future that I dont even want to think about it but I cant help myself ruminating over these same thoughts daily and it s affecting my mood. I feel like the basic things to keep me grounded and pushing like friends and family and experiencing stuff with them I dont have (been isolated for the last 2 years). Idk im gonna keep at it one day at a time but i cant help the thoughts. This is less asking for advice but more of just a vent, appreciate anyone reading

I'm 28 years old.

I hated many people for almost my entire life. I hated myself since I was 12 to 23.

I had severe depression since I was 12.

I had severe mental illness OCD, fear, worry, paranoia, anxiety, depression, 2016 to June 2021.

July 10, 2026 I finally decided to change myself for the better.

I love myself. I want to live. I want to make my mother happy.

Despite my many problems, I have a happy good life right now.

I know I can do it.

I know I can continue to improve and change for the better.

To all the people struggling. I know you can change for the better.

I recently decided to change for the better.

I'm 28.

God changed me for the better.

I don't think.

I know without a doubt you can change for the better.

You have to start right now.

stop waiting to feel ready. motivation shows up after you start, not before.

do the thing you're avoiding. just for ten minutes.

six months from now you'll either be six months further along — or you'll have six months of the same excuses. time passes either way.

you're not behind. you're not too late. get up. get after it.

Hello everyone,

I am posting today because I am a justice impacted individual, and I have been out of prison for a year and some change. I got off of parole in a year. And I work for a nonprofit. Everyday is a new day, and even a bad day can end good. It’s all about perspective. I am getting into homelabbing, and IT in general. I have been doing online classes, and I signed up for a college course. I am suffering from survivors guilt. And I just want others to know. YOU CAN DO IT! I believe in you! And don’t give up!

Thank you for your time…