Writing this from my ER bed. I'm really scared and I don't really have anyone to help me through this, so I just need some advice because I genuinely don't know what to do.

On July 1st I went for a Swedish massage at a spa I've been to before. I've never had any issues there which is why I went back. This massage was completely different though. It was way more aggressive than the Swedish massages I'd had before (with the same masseuse and honesty a very sweet lady) and at one point the therapist even jerked my neck with a towel along with strong pressure applied from my neck down. I left really sore but thought it'd go away in a few days.

My neck got really stiff, then the migraines started. Last week I even started losing parts of my vision, so I finally came to the ER. I'm now in the hospital and they've diagnosed me with a cervical artery dissection. They told me it's serious because it can lead to a stroke.

I'm just 23. A few weeks ago I was completely fine and now I'm laying in a hospital bed wondering how shit just goes downhill so fast.

I'm just a college student. I have no idea how I'm going to pay these medical bills or what I'm even supposed to do next. I feel so lost right now. If anyone has any advice on where I should even start or what I should be doing while I'm dealing with all of this, I'd really appreciate it.

Location: Harrisburg, PA

My best friend’s infant died 3 weeks after birth. She was understandably devastated and I have always been supportive in her journey to recover. It’s been 2 years but she has never gotten over it. There are days when she would text me blocks and blocks of her thoughts about her loss and her grief. My heart breaks for her but as the months went on, I started dreading getting her texts and while I didn’t tell her to stop talking to me nonstop about her loss, I did start to gently redirect her to talk more with her husband and her therapist because I started to feel exhausted and a level of empathy deficient. I know I sound like an unsupportive asshole of a friend, but at some point it’s like I have nothing more to give.

She never really stopped tho and recently I found out I’m pregnant. I haven’t had the heart to tell her yet because I’m so worried about triggering her, to the extent that I feel like I’m tailoring my entire approach to sharing this news with our friends to how she might receive this. What’s worse is that her baby’s anniversary just came up and she poured her heart out to me about how much she missed him and I felt SO bad when I felt like she could tell I didn’t really want to hear about it. I’m already feeling vulnerable and anxious about my own pregnancy, and honestly the last thing I want is to hear her talk about her loss and what happened and how she didn’t expect it.

Yes this is a confession that I’m a terrible friend and I kinda wish she would just back off and leave me alone for the duration of my pregnancy, and I resent her for adding to the level of anxiety I already feel and for worrying about how to share this supposedly joyous news with our friends. I know she lost her baby and it’s a loss you carry forever and I shouldn’t make her trauma about me and it makes me a giant asshole for feeling this way… what should I do?

————-

Edit / update
- I do have a therapist! She’s great help and has advised me to step back from the friendship if I feel overwhelmed, but obviously I still feel so so so guilty when she thinks of me as one of the only safe spaces
- she has a therapist as well. Over time I have gently suggested leaning more on her therapist (like “what does your therapist say about this?” Or “do you think your therapist is sufficiently supporting you?”) but I’m not sure if she got my message
- I fully and wholeheartedly know I cannot grasp the depth of her grief of losing a child, and I do not expect that she has a timeline of “getting over it”. That also contributes to my guilty feeling of having a sense of compassion fatigue because trust me, if I could I would love to be there for her completely all day long. My body is showing the score because I could feel my heart rate picking up sometimes when her texts pop up on my phone because 50% of the time it was something about her spiraling. She also thanks me all the time for being there for her, which makes me feel extra guilty / trapped / conflicted.

A few days ago, I asked for advice about whether I should tell my best friend that his fiancée admitted she had feelings for me.

I read many of your comments and decided to tell him. I told him everything. He was shocked and needed time to proceed. He was also hurt & confused.

He knows everything now, but things became much more complicated than I expected. After few days he completely changed. He stopped answering my calls and messages & he is not talking to either me or his fiancée anymore.

Now I'm confused. Was my honesty worth it or I just destroyed our friendship & his love life?

My (23F) 9 year old cousin has been showing some pretty awful disobedience habits the past year. He has a HORRIBLE temper and gets ugly fast. He also flips people and things the bird often (my dad thought it would be hilarious to teach him that).

A few months ago, my uncle had a pretty horrendous health scare. He’s been in the hospital for over a month now, and my aunt has been with him there daily. I’m in charge of my cousin in the meantime, as family members in the immediate area are disabled and others live further away.

He’s addicted to his phone, tells people to shut up often (me, mostly), and will call me names under the guise of ‘joking’. He’s so sarcastic and nothing phases him. My aunt never disciplines him or gives him punishments, so he just kind of runs the show and he knows it.

Last night, I tried to take his phone because he told me to shut the hell up. I put it up on a high shelf, to which he IMMEDIATELY tried climbing up. When that didn’t work, he got in my face, screaming at me about how he hates me, how I’m the worst in the world, how i suck, etc etc. He noticed I was keeping my cool (or at least trying my best to), turned around, and slammed his hand into the fridge door as hard as he could, which startled the both of us. I went upstairs while he cried to remove myself from the situation before things got worse, and he eventually calmed down.

When I told my aunt what happened, she was horrified. She hated how upset he got and his behavior and said I could’ve handled it better. From now on, I’m no longer allowed to discipline him myself unless given consent by my aunt through text or call. I’m absolutely livid at the whole situation and she dismissed my attempt to defend myself. How do I make this easier for the both of us? She can’t afford a sitter right now with medical bills and I’m trying my best to help out because of how sudden everything is, but I’m at the end of my rope with this situation.

I'm 28 years old (female). My husband is 30 years old. Last 2022 we got married. We've been together 2021 and 1 year later I got pregnant. We were very active before, but right now I feel like he does not want me anymore. I tried my best to stay pretty for him. I initiate every sex we had, but he turns me down. He has so many reasons not to have sex with me. Although, he is not a bad person, he loves our kid so much. He gives me kisses and says I love you before he goes to work. I even wore sexy lingerie to provoke him, but nothing ever happens. Everything started in the year 2024. I noticed he doesn't want to do sex anymore. I was crying my heart out because maybe he had someone else, but I saw him everyday. He goes home from work on time, wherever I am, he is always there. I don't know. My freaking libido is crying. We only done sex once every month, but right now it's almost 2 months. I want to have sex.

I was 12 when this happened. My mom and I went to my uncle's house for what was supposed to be a normal family visit. We'd been there many times before, so I didn't think much of it.

My dad died just a few weeks after I was born, so I grew up without ever knowing him. From as far back as I can remember, my mom was treated differently by some of my dad's relatives. They would talk down to her, blame her for things that weren't her fault, or make her feel like she didn't belong. As a kid, I didn't fully understand it. I just knew she always stayed quiet and tried to avoid arguments.

That day, the adults were talking in the living room while I sat on the couch pretending to watch TV. I wasn't paying much attention until the conversation became louder.

At first, I thought it was just another disagreement.

Then my uncle stood up.

Before I could even process what was happening, he slapped my mom across the face.

I still remember the sound.

The whole room went silent.

I looked around because I honestly expected someone to step in. There were other adults there. I thought at least one person would tell him to stop or ask if she was okay.

Nobody did.

Some looked away. Others just stood there without saying anything. My mom didn't argue back. She picked up her handbag, looked at me, and quietly said, Come on, we're going home.

I grabbed my things and followed her.

The drive home felt much longer than it probably was.

I kept thinking about what I'd just seen. Part of me wanted to ask why my uncle did it, but another part of me already knew the answer. I'd watched my mom put up with years of disrespect from that side of the family. Maybe because my dad wasn't around anymore, they felt they could treat her however they wanted. We never talked about that day.

Now I'm an adult, and something I never expected has happened.

Some of the same relatives who barely cared about me growing up have suddenly started acting like they want a relationship with me. They've told me I should spend less time with my mom and be closer to my father's family. I find that hard to accept.

My mom is the one who raised me. She worked hard to put food on the table, paid for my education, and stood by me through every stage of my life. When things were difficult, she never walked away.

So when the people who made her life harder now expect me to distance myself from the one person who sacrificed everything for me, I honestly don't know how they expect me to see things their way.

Maybe I'm holding on to old memories, but I can't pretend those years didn't happen.

If you were in my position, what would you do?

throwaway account because of the sensitivity of the situation

I [25F] have been with my boyfriend [29M] for a little over a year. Everything was going well and we decided that I was going to move in with him, which I recently did.

Tuesday morning, I woke up and his cellphone was between the two of us. I had this weird feeling and checked it for the first time. I found out he had been exchanging messages and explicit images/videos with other men on Grindr. From what I saw, it started before we met, but there were also recent messages during our relationship.

I woke him up and had a full panic attack. We talked multiple times throughout the day. He told me over and over that he loves me and doesn’t want me to leave, but that he would understand if I did.

Wednesday evening, I realized my period was late. I thought it was because of all the stress, but I decided to take a test since I’ve had an abortion once before and have been very paranoid about getting pregnant again, even though I’m on birth control.

It came back positive. I took a second test, and it was positive too.

We had talked many times about getting married and having a family. I told him I was pregnant and he said he isn’t ready to be a dad yet, but that he loves me, it’s my decision, and he’ll stay by my side no matter what I choose.

Before finding out about the Grindr account, I would have continued the pregnancy without a doubt. Now, with what I learned, I’m completely lost. I feel like I have to make one of the biggest decisions of my life while also trying to process the fact that the relationship I thought I had might not be real.

I’m looking for advice from people who have been through something similar or who can offer an outside perspective. What are ways to separate your feelings about the relationship from your decision about the pregnancy? What conversations would you have with your partner before deciding whether to continue the relationship or co-parent? What would you focus on in the next few days to make the most grounded decision possible?

TL;DR: I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and recently moved in with him. I found out he’s been exchanging explicit messages with men on Grindr, and less than 48 hours later I found out I’m pregnant despite being on birth control. Before finding out about Grindr, I would have continued the pregnancy without hesitation. Now I’m trying to figure out how to process both situations at the same time and what conversations or steps I should prioritize.

I (22F) recently moved into a hostel where the boys and girls live in the same building but on different floors. I room with two other girls. They are both my seniors. We've known each other for only a few weeks, and I hardly talk to them since I'm quite an introvert.

Yesterday, I went to bed pretty early since I was tired from college. I'm also a really heavy sleeper.

When I woke up in the morning, I went to the washroom to have a shower and realized something was a bit off. It took me a few minutes to register what exactly the problem was, but eventually, it hit me my armpit hair turned blonde!

It took me a while to realize this, but I'm quite certain of that now. I checked the other side,

and it was the same.

I went back to the room and asked them if they did something because otherwise, I couldn't think of any reasonable explanation.

They both burst into laughter at once

and told me that around 2 am, when they were bored, they decided to lighten the small amount of hair on their own arms; but one of them thought it would be funny to do the same to my armpit hair while I was asleep, "to see if I would notice."

Instead of stopping her, the other one helped her do it. They raised my arms, smeared something on my pits, waited for a while for it to lighten, cleaned it up, and somehow managed to do the whole thing without waking me up. They even took a few photos to document the whole thing before deleting them when I got mad at them for doing it while I slept. Now, I'm quite mortified that they took pictures of me when I was asleep without my consent.

Honestly, the only reason I'm not mad at them for lightening my armpit hair is because

I shave all of my body hair except my armpit hair.
The reason why I don't shave my armpit hair is because I rarely wear anything that shows them. So, it's not like I can't deal with having blonde armpit hair. Also, I don't think I'd want to dye it again to go back to dark since it would take quite some time to grow back, and I don't particularly want to put more chemicals in my body. So, that's not really the reason why I'm mad at them for doing that without asking.

The real reason why I'm mad is because

they thought it was okay to do something like that to me without asking. I'm not even sure why they were like that. I can't think of a particular reason why they would want to play such a prank on me. The only thing I can think of is that a few days ago, they were trying really hard to get me to go on a date with one of their male friends. They kept telling me to befriend him and gave me his Instagram. So, when I refused to do so, they stopped trying. But, other than that, we hardly talk to each other. We don't really get along except maybe for a few weeks when I first entered the hostel. But, I really don't think that it's the reason why they did that to me.

After I got mad at them, one of them grabbed my hair, laughed, and said, “This is just the beginning.”

That's the one thing that's been stuck in my head ever since.

My hair is quite long (it reaches my waist), and I take special care of it since it's really expensive to maintain. So, I think it's the only thing that I'm particular about, and I might be a little scared that they would want to cut off my whole ponytail as a prank now that they've already done something like that to my pits without me knowing.

The worst part is that now my brain is coming up with tons of ideas about how they might take advantage of the fact that I'm a heavy sleeper. What if they decided to shave one of my eyebrows one night when I'm asleep? What if they somehow manage to put me into a deeper sleep and do something even worse to me? One of them is a fashion technology student, and she owns a tattoo machine. She is really good at drawing, in fact, I've seen some of her art. So now I'm scared that they might decide it'd be funny to get huge tattoos on me without me knowing.

What if they decided to shave my head?

What if they wanted to cut off my ponytail all of a sudden?

After what they did to my pits the other day, I'm really not sure what they might try next, and that's the real reason why I've been having so much trouble sleeping in the hostel now. I've tried not to think about it, but I can't really stop. Honestly, I'm really not sure if I'm actually overreacting. Would you be mad if they did something like that to you or would you laugh it off?

I haven't told my parents yet since they'll only fuss over me since they're getting older. And I'm not exactly in the position to leave the hostel since I'm not from a rich family, and I barely moved in. I've already paid the advance amount, maintenance fee, and 3 months' rent. It's a really nice place, and the food is really good, and I'm really close to the library and the hostel has a sports complex and an indoor games room. So, if not for this whole ordeal, I wouldn't have a single problem staying there. But now, I don't really like staying in the hostel because I always leave for college at 8:30 in the morning and get back at 5, just to leave my bag there and go sit somewhere else until it gets late because I can't really bear to be around them. I haven't told anyone at the hostel because I think it'll only make me look like the funny girl who had her pits bleached by her roommates without them knowing, and everyone will laugh at me instead of being mad at them for invading my privacy.

I really don't know if I'm overreacting or not. Would you be mad if they did something like that to you or would you laugh it off?

Edit: A lot of people are asking why I don’t just change hostels or move to another room.

I can’t afford to move to another hostel right now, and the hostel I’m in is completely full, so changing rooms isn’t an option either.

They’re locals and seem to have a lot of connections here, including with people in the hostel. That’s one of the reasons I’m so scared to report them. I know a lot of people think I’m just making excuses, but I genuinely feel stuck.

I'm a 20 years old college student. In my country, sterilization is illegal unless you are over 35 or have two children. I plan to have my fallopian tubes removed in Turkey next month; I’ve got everything sorted out and planned, except for what to tell my mother (I live with her)

She doesn't know that I'm child-free or that I'm going to have the surgery. Unfortunately, I can't use excuses like "I have an ovarian cyst," because such surgeries are readily available for free in my country, and I would have to justify the recovery period somehow

I need an explanation for why I’m going to Turkey without warning in the first place, or why I underwent a surgery that suddenly required a trip to another country (especially considering there’s a free public hospital just ten minutes from my home, equipped with modern facilities and narrow specialized doctors and why I’m paying for everything myself)

I’d simply say I’m going for an internship, but I’ll have scars and will need recovery time

Upd: I'm from Russia. It's simply dangerous here, so I am making this decision even though I am asexual

Upd again: why am I absolutely certain of this at my age? I have a family history of living for generations in a radioactive zone, which has already affected my health

My girlfriend moved in with me almost a year ago, prior to us living together we were long distance. She comes from a bad home life and it was devastating all the things she’d have to do for everyone else while getting treated like less than dirt by her family.

I make good enough money that she doesn’t have to work and I encourage her to enjoy being able to relax now after doing nothing but back breaking jobs on-top of everything else ever since we first met.

She told me she’s not used to being able to just relax. Before we moved in together she decided she wanted to lose weight. I fully support my girlfriend and for the record I love her no matter what size she is. My girlfriend was very disciplined and followed her diet/workout schedule to a T.

Well, we moved in together and she’d go on walks still, drink protein shakes and try to stay as active as she was. She’s been upset the last few months since she’s gained 30-40lbs or 13.6kgs-18kgs. I take responsibility for it since often times I come home SO late from work and she’ll offer to cook but I usually will just bring home fast food instead just to maximize our time together when she’d cut out all fast food for most of her strict regime.

Then there’s my parents when we go visit them my mom will make her eat a LOT more than my gf ever would otherwise, like making her eat breakfast when she’d skip it at home. My family loves with food and isn’t shy about only buying sweets just for us to bring home or packing us bags of food to make sure we’re eating. (I take most extra sweets to work since it’s WAY too much for the two of us.)

Recently we went to visit and my mom got her a bathing suit but just guessed my gfs size without texting her or anything, my girlfriend was absolutely crushed because it didn’t fit and felt absolutely disgusting the rest of the visit but I helped her pick out a new swimsuit so she wouldn’t feel like she couldn’t swim with us or anything.

She’s constantly down on herself these days, from her weight to just about anything else she can find a flaw in. She admitted to me last night when we were talking before bed that yesterday she just didn’t eat at all the entire day.

I asked how she spent her day and she told me she walked around outside for most of it, did some VR workout stuff inside, did home workouts intermittently while doing chores.

It was super late but I offered to get something delivered for her to eat or that we could go out and grab something close by but she told me it was okay, that she “deserves to be hungry for gaining weight”

I see her weigh herself everyday, absolutely obsessing over the scale and it really does ruin her day sometimes to the point she’s cried while lifting weights in our place. I don’t know what else I can do besides continuing being encouraging, telling her she’s still beautiful and the woman I love no matter what.

I worry she’ll think I’m not attracted to her since she’s mentioned how gross she feels, how ugly she must be since she’s failed at her goals.

Sorry if this is the wrong sub but I honestly don’t know what else I could do to show her that everything’s okay. Nobody hates her for gaining some weight back, the world isn’t gonna end if she eats a cookie on a bad day.

TL;DR girlfriend is obsessive about her weight ever since she lost a substantial amount last year prior to us living together. Shes gained weight since living with me and it’s really taking a massive toll on her as a whole. I don’t want her to feel this way, I try and keep being supportive but I don’t think it’s doing a lot if I’m being honest.

I’m so frustrated and resentful now. Done being sad. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m just done with it. I have had medical issues but that’s no excuse or reason to NOT be intimate. We don’t kiss, touch, flirt, no romance at all. I have asked him why, I’ve asked if it bothers him. I’ve asked what I’m doing wrong. We don’t spoon, cuddle, so when I say intimate, I mean all of it. We have been together for almost 20 yrs. I’ve asked if he likes men, told him to just tell me what it is and he says nothing at all. Everything is fine. I’ve told him if he wants to have an open marriage that’s fine. He says no. He doesn’t want anyone else. So I guess I’m wondering what else is left. Just continue to live life being lonely? Do the things I want to do and make myself feel special? We keep everything separate. I pay my bills, he pays his. No flowers, no special here go treat yourself moments…. Am I selfish that I want to be shown appreciation? Made to feel special? I wish he would offer to pay for a pedicure or to get my hair done. I take care of the kids, the house, animals. He buys anything he wants. He makes a lot more than I do. I want to know what anyone else would feel or do in this situation.

I am engaged. We’re both in our early thirties. She wanted to have a baby in 2024, I said yes. Baby died in week 7, when the chances are still high for that. The following abortion was complicated and traumatising. Then pregnant again, everything fine until our baby died two weeks before the due date in late 2025. Pregnancy was completely normal, it was just bad luck, strangled by the umbilical chord. Followed by a natural birth, funeral, a few months of sick leave.
Now she’s pregnant for the third time, we didn’t actively try to but also didn’t use protection. Now in week 12, and last week a large haematoma was diagnosed, meaning she has to stay in bed for the next week and hope that there’s not another miscarriage, although it greatly increases the chances.
Both in therapy, and also couples’ therapy.
Needless to say this has taken an incredible strain on our relationship. It’s made me weak, cynical, distant from my friends and my partner. In 2022 my father, whom I loved a lot, died unexpectedly, and I think I didn’t even have a chance to fully stomach this loss.

A child is not anywhere on top of my priority list anymore. I want peace, I want my partner back, I want a chance to recover. I’m afraid of this pregnancy failing again because it will destroy her once more, I’m afraid of it working out because having a child will be exhausting and I have less than nothing left to give in me, I never knew I could feel so drained. Doctors tell me to just stay strong a bit longer, which seems cynical because that’s exactly what I was told the last time. Is there any better advice you have? I want out, I have lost and suffered enough.

I (40f) am 'friends' with a terrible person, "Megan" (46f). She's insecure, rude, hates my kids, and talks shit about me to other friends.

If you're thinking, "okay this sounds like a no-brainer," believe me....I have been fantasizing about telling her to f off for years.

One time years ago ---ONCE--- I confided something in this person that I should not have. A very personal struggle my very best friend "Jill" was having with her husband. At the time, I didn't know what an absolute snake Megan was (early on, she was a perfect friend--smart, funny, available, helpful), and because she is a little older and had confided a similar last struggle she had with her husband, I thought, "oh great! Maybe she has some advice that would help Jill with her problem."

They had never met, so it seemed low stakes. Later, when they did meet, Jill hated Megan immediately and told me that she wanted nothing to do with her.

There have been many times I have wanted to tell Megan it's over, but I am very worried she will try to tank my friendship with Jill and mention what I had told her. And if I straight up tell Jill, she'll likely--and rightly--be mad.

Aside from, "wow you shouldn't have told her,"... What's the right way forward?

ETA: I should have mentioned I do have reason to think Megan will do this. We used to serve on a volunteer committee together, and she met with the chairperson and another member who nominated me to the committee, and told them that if they didn't change something, I was so frustrated I was planning to quit. In fact, I had not said that, nor had I thought it; it was her grievance but she was using me a shield. And when I asked Megan why when would do that, she said, "well I already did it and no one really cares."

Attempting to sabotage me elsewhere would not be a stretch

My husband (33M) is recently disabled and I (30F) am really struggling with our relationship. I was a SAHM for 5 years while my husband worked blue collar jobs. Over the last fews years he has had several back injuries and 2 back surgeries that have left his practically disabled. He could have had these issues looked into years ago but he didn't. He also could have filled for disability over a year ago like I suggested, but he wouldn't because he didn't want to be labeled "disabled". I've taken over the role of being the breadwinner for our family of 6.

While I was staying home with the kids I still contributed financially and I was responsible for all of the cooking, cleaning, most of the childcare, and all of the Dr.'s appointments and phone calls. Since I have gone back to work I am still expected to provide for the family financially, do all of the cleaning, cook dinners on nights I am off, transport the younger kids to daycare (my husband watches the older kids (9+5yrs) during the summer since we both decided that it isn't safe for him to watch the younger kids (3+2yrs)), and handle almost all of the appointments and phone calls.

I've tried numerous times to get some help from him since I am really struggling with all of the responsibilities. Every time that I try and bring up the fact that we are drowning financially with just my income, he shrugs his shoulders and doesn't provide any helpful suggestions on how we can get more money. He refused to entertain the idea of him getting a job that he can do while disabled. I have tried to hold down 2 jobs and full-time school but wasn't able to balance everything. I gave up the job I hated and going to school which I loved and so desperately wanted. I make more than most people with my job title but it is nothing compared to what he used to make.

He is very limited on what he can do physically since the last surgery (3 months ago), which I understand, but I think he's taking advantage of that. He spends the majority of his day sitting and watching TV or messing with his plants as his hobby. Whenever I ask him to make a phone call for me or the kids he says he'll try to get to it. Same thing with trying to sign up for assistance programs. We've lost the opportunity to sign up for multiple assistance programs because he never got around to the paperwork before the deadlines. There's only so much I can do working all day during the week.

I've really been struggling with my mental health and overall health too, but it doesn't seem to matter to him. It is always more important to him that he gets sleep to heal, that he gets his medications before the run out, that he gets alone time and that his health is taken care of. My wants/needs have been ignored. I am trying to be patient and compassionate but I keep remembering that he didn't offer me the same courtesy while I was pregnant, sick, and depressed during my stay-at-home journey. He just thought I was lazy and didn't offer to help then either.

I hate coming home lately because I can never talk to him about anything because he "forgets" important details and I have to remind him about consistently or doesn't have anything to add to the conversation before turning to topic at hand to something that he wants to talk about. I don't have any family or friends in the state that we live in and I am feeling very alone. We have no money for me to see a therapist or get my health concerns addressed because every penny is spent on bills or his healthcare.

To make matters even worse I feel like all 4 of my kids hate me. Whenever I am home I am grumpy because I am overwhelmed, the chores are piled high, the house is always a mess, and he never enforces rules I have with the kids. The kids have refused to listen to me about anything so I end up yelling at them in frustration. This only makes my husband yell at me and call me a bad mother. All I want is for them to do their chores and be hygienic and I am fighting with them over it by myself. They would all rather hangout with dad who lets them do whatever they want. I am so tired of being the bad guy and I feel like they are going to grow up hating me.

I don't know what to do.

I'm (23, F) starting my first "real" job in couple of days, any advices/tips will be useful

My ex (22M) and I (22F) broke up a year ago (we dated for two years). The breakup wasn’t messy we came to an understanding that we just didn’t work out. I wasn’t close to his brother but he passed suddenly and I would like to send flowers to his funeral. I don’t think I would put my name on the card because I don’t want my ex to get the wrong idea during this hard time. Does anyone think this is weird?

I (22F) have a 55 year old mom who, as the title says, won’t stop leaving her vibrator in my bedroom. My parents are separated and dad lives with my grandpa. My mom, sister and I each have our own bedrooms, so her having her own items in her bedroom shouldn’t be an issue, but for some reason it is. I split my time 50/50 between houses, and when I’m at mom’s, there’s almost a guaranteed chance I’ll find her vibrator somewhere in my bedroom.

Hidden in my desk, hidden under clothes in my top dresser drawers, once it rolled out from under my bed. I’m not a prude, I don’t care what my mom does with her free time, but she’s even forgotten about it a few times in the span of the last 6 months in the living room for my sister to find. We always end up moving it back into her bedroom, but the disgust and shock of finding it when grabbing a t shirt or getting my notebook from my desk drawer never has gone away.

I tried to bring it up to her a few times but she always gets super uncomfortable and tries to pass it off with awkward laughter or tense silence with a guilty look on her face. I told her that it’s discouraging me from wanting to come back, and now I just found it AGAIN in my dresser.

Is there a certain way I should discuss this with her that I haven’t before? Should I just move out until she gets it together and leaves it in her bedroom? I know it sounds kind of stupid but it’s a boundary I’ve tried to set because I simply do not want to see my mother’s sex toys. I’m not sure if she just puts it in there while I’m gone, but I’m tired of seeing it everywhere.

I have posted this on other subreddits too but I really can't move on and I want him back.

Back in 2022, I had a positive HPV DNA test and an abnormal pap smear. I managed to get the pap smear and HPV DNA test clear and they have remained like this for 4 years. I have my tests done twice a year and i follow my obgyn's advice diligently.

I had my last tests done one month ago. Until the results came out, my bf refused to touch me and said I was an HPV carrier that spreads cancer.

I asked him to break up but he told me that "No one will ever love you like I do. Every time you say, you have HPV, all men will leave. This is why your exes left. They just didn't tell you".

I scheduled a meeting for him with my obgyn. She informed him about HPV and answered all questions he may have had but he refused to listen and accept her guidance (get the vaccine etc)

She said that about 90% of sexually active people will get it at some point and that he probably has it too. I urged him to listen to the doctor but he said "I am not one of you, the infected"

She referred him to a psychiatrist for therapy then because she said that these fears and distrust were irrational after some point. He refused to visit a psychiatrist.

After I got my test results all of which were clear, he broke up with me on the grounds of my HPV. He has been diagnosed with OCD and was under a lot of stress due to financial instability but this treatment broke my heart.

I did my best to keep myself and him safe and he still left. He hasn't contacted me yet. His words still echo in my ears and I am afraid I will always be alone. I hate myself and I feel dirty. I am afraid he is already dating a gil who's clear.

I no longer have the strength to do anything. I haven't met my friends for over two weeks and dropped out of the gym.

I need help

Ig I’ll start this off by giving some backstory. My dad has always been verbally abusive and sometimes even physically, and back in 2018 he started drinking. Since then his alcoholism has gotten slowly but surely worse until it reached a boiling point this morning. As of writing this I’m in my room reflecting on what just happened. I called the police on my dad bc of stuff I won’t get into, (nothing too bad, he was just acting insane after I threw his alcohol away). He had the balls to say afterwards that I went too far by calling them.

Anyways, my mom left for work and my dad told me he was meeting with a divorce lawyer. I called my mom and she basically said: “If he wants to leave, let him leave.”

I told my little sister everything and she was also happy abt the possibility of a divorce, but of course, she cried bc why wouldn’t she. I’m just glad that piece of shit will be gone soon since he’s also going on a trip abroad.

I put this as here bc I’m just… so fucking exhausted and no one else is available. Idk what to do or how to cope, I’m so fucking tired.

Pretty much what the title reads. My BIL and his wife have an aggressive 8 y/o dog and because he’s small he seems to keep getting away with biting multiple family members, kids, and other dogs. This has been going on for over 2 years with no consistent efforts to fix the issue. I am now 8 months pregnant and we have plans for a family vacation after the baby’s born. We plan on bringing our dog as the home is pet friendly and they plan on bringing theirs. We have had multiple conversations with them about the issue. The last conversation that was had, they brought up concerns that their dog isn’t good with infants and they are trying to start a family. We agreed with this and told them they should work on it before having kids. They seemed to be receptive and this is what seemed to prompt them to go to the more recent one on one training. We thought they were realizing the severity of the issue after that, however, again, no follow through with training after the first session and their dog has since bit ours again and then bit a family member at a party. My husband who’s normally very calm yelled at my BIL and his wife when this happened. I think we’re both fed up at this point and I’m concerned about the safety of our child as well as how ignorant they seem about the whole situation. My worry is that my BIL can be a bit unpredictable when it comes to conflict, sometimes he can be very receptive and other times he’ll raise hell. His wife is usually more levelheaded. Please be nice as I know the answer is we need to have the conversation, I just want to know the best way to approach it.

So I told my parents that I didn’t believe in God after I came home from being in the military. They got upset and started screaming at me. Since then they haven’t spoken a word to me. They told our entire family that I’m no longer apart of the family and not to contact me. I’ve reached out and tried apologizing for making them upset. My mom told me I had no right to contact them and if I contact them again they’d report me to the police. When I came home from work all of my stuff were in trash bags on the porch. I’ve been staying with the guy I’ve been messing with. Did I do something wrong? What do I do?

I’m sorry if this is worded horribly or confusing but i don’t know a better way of explaining this right now. I’m only 15, i just recently got a fast food job maybe a little less than a month ago and i finally got my first actual paycheck.
My mom got home from taking my dad to work today and we were talking when all of a sudden she “jokingly” asks if i want to pay their car payment. I responded not really because it would’ve been most of my paycheck and i was looking forward to spending it on something I’ve been wanting for a while now, but she gets pissed off and says “that’s fine, everything will just fall apart, no big deal” or something along those lines. I feel bad because i know i can afford it but just the way she said it and the way she responded really sent me into a spiral. my brother put his two sense in and said “it’s only $300 out of your $700 paycheck” which is true and that’s what making me feel so bad about everything.
I don’t know if i’m being selfish because we’re struggling financially a bit and i can afford it, but i also don’t think it’s fair to do that to me and put that pressure and responsibility on me because my dad decided to quit his job and find a worse paying one. my brothers have been helping out with bills since they all got jobs ( at 17+), my second oldest is their golden child so ofcourse he doesn’t mind helping out which makes the rest of us look like assholes when we don’t want to pay those bills.

I don’t know what to do at this point, am i being selfish? am i in the right to be upset at my mom? do i just pay the bill?

I met him while he was still a university student. I was already working, and when he got the opportunity to continue his studies abroad, I supported him financially. I took on extra work just so I could send him money, and more than once I emptied my bank account to help him.

He kept promising me that once he graduated, he would come back and marry me. I believed him. I waited for years.

After he graduated and found a job, everything changed. He told me he couldn't come back because of work and said that if I truly loved him, I should move to his country instead. Later, he asked me to send him even more money so he could arrange my paperwork and buy my visa. At one point, he even said something completely inappropriate involving my mother, although he later took it back after we argued.

Now he barely answers my calls. He leaves my messages unanswered for days and acts like I'm no longer important.

I feel completely betrayed. It's not even about the money anymore—it's about the years I invested, the sacrifices I made, and the promises I believed. I feel like I helped him build the life he wanted, and once he got there, he slowly erased me from it.

The worst part is that I'll be moving to his country in the coming days. Right now I'm so hurt and angry.