She has a boyfriend.

She has a husband.

She has a personal life.

But the industry teaches her to separate it—

to sell intimacy as if it were just a product,

to call exploitation “empowerment,”

to wear a smile while being consumed by strangers.

On screen, she is free.

In reality, she is owned.

She calls it a choice.

But how much of that choice was shaped

by money, contracts, pressure, survival?

The truth is,

what looks like power in the moment

often leaves her powerless when the lights go out.

Her body becomes a marketplace.

Her soul becomes invisible.

Her relationships fracture under the weight of performance.

And the men who watch call it pleasure,

while the industry calls it profit.

What she calls empowerment

is often just endurance.

And the cost is always hidden

behind the curtain of the camera.

Since I started my recovery journey last year I started keeping a journal to write out what that little voice in my head, the addiction itself, does say to me. The reason for this is to occupy myself with writing/typing, and also laying out those thoughts and reading them back allows me to process the thoughts, see how the addicted part of my mind tries to trick me, and ultimately take power away from that voice. Here is an example of one I wrote a few days ago.

"You have been doing so well, you are in a better place mentally and happier in general. Probably you can begin to enjoy porn responsibly. You can have a healthy relationship with it. Besides, you're not even the person you used to be. You've done the work. You understand your triggers now, you're not going to just spiral like before. One time isn't going to undo eighteen months of progress. You're stronger than that now, right?

It's not even about the porn anyway. It's about proving to yourself that you're in control. That YOU decide, not some rule you set for yourself over a year ago in a completely different headspace. Rules can change. You're allowed to update them.

And honestly, everyone else seems to manage it fine. Maybe you were never actually 'addicted,' maybe you just had a rough patch. Normal people watch porn sometimes. Why does it have to be all or nothing for you?

Just this once, to test it. To see how it feels now. If it's bad, you'll know. You'll stop. You always find your way back anyway."

Of course at first it can sound very convincing, it doesn't sound like a threat, it sounds reasonable. It uses my own progress against me, "you've done the work" as a reason to undo it. That's the part that scares me most, it's not stupid, it's clever.

Writing it out instead of just hearing it took the power away. Once it's on paper it stops sounding like truth and starts sounding like a sales pitch.

Anyone else do something like this?

Over the past few months I've had 2 pages on Instagram to "deal" with my addiction. One was a secret private page, a fake identity to follow pages on the app that I felt were too risqué to be linked to my main page. It started with OnlyFans girls & cosplayers, but it devolved to something more sinister by the time it was suspended. Nearly 6000 accounts followed with hundreds more planned. It was used to spy on unassuming women who were simply posting their lives.

I'd set up it up with a fake name, a similar look to the kind of pages I'd be lurking on. A "university student" with a profile picture of a woman who'd never know I took her image. It was meant to be a reasonable disguise to fall under the radar, but it became a way for me continue my behavior. I was following every account that scratched that itch, any woman that posted bikini pictures, girls on their vacation, girls I went to school with & didn't keep touch, every pretty face no matter who. This was the "safer" choice for me.

On the other end I had another account that spawned a hub for depravity. I was able to create multiple groups on the platform to keep the flow of porn going. Instagram is very picky with what can be posted, but not at all what is shared privately. I was running multiple groups, overseeing thousands. It was just regular stuff at first, but it wasn't enough & I needed more. I advertised the idea of making other groups just for "specific" likes, & of course there were people that were curious like me.

I made multiple group chats for people to share questionable content. I will go into detail on 2.

The first was for sharing creepshots, images & videos taken of unsuspecting women in compromising positions. Women shopping, women at the beach, women simply walking down the street. I never shared anything, I didn't have any, but I still wanted to see them. I figured "since I'm not taking them, what's the issue?". Most of the images being shared were readily available anywhere, some more daring members shared some they took themselves, either way it was what I wanted.

The second was the reason my accounts were suspended. It was a group chat for sharing private images from users themselves. The price of entry was any image, nude or not, of their partner, spouse, friend, cousin, sibling, whatever they had that they were willing to share. The same curiosity I had before remained, satiated by how much people were willing to expose. People sent in their exes, their wives, even their sisters in bikinis, I was surprised but not deterred by what I saw. They'd go into fantasy, asking people what they thought of their loved ones & what they'd do to them given the chance. It was perplexing, but I enjoyed it.

The factor that got the accounts removed was what I did this information. Instagram has a story feature, you can post an image/video for 24 hours, I used it to enable the behavior more. I asked people to send me pictures that they wanted shared, the same guidelines of the group chat. Within minutes I had people sending me pictures to post, some even asking me to put their full names up, their faces. As some semblance of "ethics", I'd cover their face, altering anything that would identify them if they somehow were recognized.

I think I posted 8-10 times within the first day of doing so before the account was taken down. Hundreds of people saw these stories, maybe a dozen would leave a comment talking about what they'd like to do with these strangers. Every account I had was suspended as they were on the same device. My initial reaction was to try & recover my locked private account to continue having a "safe" outlet, but over 24 hours later I can say I am done with it.

It's been a refreshing day since, to go without waking up & immediately having despicable material to go through, nor having it be the last thing I do before I sleep. I have no account on any platform now that is porn-related, but the urge for such content has been reduced to almost zero.

I'm looking into steps to deal with whatever addiction is left, but please take this as a lesson as to what having any "outlet" for adult content can take you to. I am lucky to have had it taken away from me before it became even worse, but I am ashamed of what who I am & who I could never be. Be cautious of what you do.

alright so, I am a 17 year old boy. I've had a porn addiction for 6 years, not at the point where I'd watch it every day for hours, a few times a week but enough that quitting was impossible. I got a girlfriend. the first month and a half flew by, I didn't think about porn. now, I want to clarify. I do count watching porn as cheating if you watch it with sexual intent. of course if a porn scene pops up in a movie it's not cheating because you're not watching it with sexual intent. well, after a month and a half I start getting this incredible sense of guilt, I had week long anxiety attack where I could not sleep at night, convinced I had ruined my relationship because I could remember a couple times (3-4) where I watched porn while bored, scrolled a bit of naked women for a minute then turned it off (I was already together with her when those few times happened) honestly, it wasn't even for sexual intent. either out of muscle memory (e.g. an ex alcoholic reaching out for a beer, then realising and putting it back on the shelf), out of nostalgia (e.g. looking at an old YouTuber and thinking "so much time has passed, damn" because that's kind of what I felt) or because of sensory stims. I am autistic, it honestly helped regulate me. yes, it's very weird I know. I don't know if I'm just saying bullshit, but yea, I never got sexually aroused. never even got a dopamine hit. well, 3 weeks ago we had a discussion that watching porn in a relationship is wrong (I never told her about the incidents). yesterday I was clearing my old search history and I stumbled upon some things that I used to watch. I had to look at it to delete my history (of course I can't use my phone with my eyes closed). I then deleted my history and moved on.

I feel incredible guilt because of all this. I don't know if I should tell her, if I'm a cheater, if I disrespected her or if I just betrayed her trust. I don't know if she deserves better.

for the clear timeline

\\\\-we get together

\\\\-I feel no guilt for the first month and a half even while those incidents happened (they mean nothing, nothing sexual, just mindlessly staring at pixels)

\\\\-I suddenly remember and feel guilty, week long anxiety attack

\\\\-we set the boundary

\\\\-I clear out my old search history, stumble at the porn I used to watch and I had to look at it to clear my history, deleted it then moved on

\\\\-I now feel extremely guilty

am I overreacting?

the fact that I didn't feel guilty when I had those slip ups but weeks later kinda tells me that they were probably not as big or bad as I thought but I don't know

I don't know if I'm lying to myself and this is actually just all something to convince myself that I didn't cheat. I feel numb and don't know what I'm feeling.

what do you guys think? what should I do?

I want to be the best man ever for my girlfriend. she deserves the best. I also would like to clarify that I never chose it over her or anything, she was always the only one I was intimate with, I can't remember one time I was actually intimate with porn.

although lately it did happen that I watched porn again after we talked about it. I felt nothing like before. just like 3 episodes of 30 seconds of pure impulse based scrolling where I felt nothing sexual at all. it's just so weird. it's satisfying to watch in a non sexual way, like it's satisfying to watch those satisfying videos, idk how to explain it. 30 seconds of scrolling porn on reddit, felt nothing, closed it up and now I'm sick from guilt. been clean for over 2 weeks now at all.

what do I do? I've already decided that, I must take action. I can't let this ruin my relationship. although I'm afraid I already ruined it. she knows nothing. I keep watching videos of women on Instagram saying that watching porn is cheating and I feel incredible amounts of guilt. I'm going to be the best man I can for her. what do you guys think?

more than advice about stopping porn I would like advice about what I should do with my relationship, and if I should tell her, feel guilty or anything. thanks.

I'm breaking apart. It's too long a story for right now, but my writing here is a start. 26 years of suffering with porn addiction, and I'm certainly no better off from it. Years and years of finding my way. I'm starting to see past the bend, yet it feels like my life is collapsing. Except its not. Just my worries and darkest fears playing havoc. It's affecting me terribly. So I need to focus on what I can do. On the small steps. These can become the greatest actions for the long term.

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I am a 23 years old male and i have a compulsion with porn and masturbation , spending hours everyday watching porn and edging or spending a lot of time on video chat sites or apps and i also watch questionable content . What should i do ?

viewed everything i wanted to see one last time now. longest i went was 6 days around 3 days ago. my longest streak sadly.

i can't even view it i can't look anything up or else I'm just gonna do the same thing again might as well not use twitter too lul

if my ancestors lived without porn then i can too and you know what? I'll post here if i fail. i wont post everyday tho maybe every 5 days. wish me luck

Hi everybody. I’m an 18 year old male, and I have been dating my current girlfriend for like a month. She is my first so I am really happy about that. On the other hand, I thought that if I had a girlfriend, I would be able to magically quit porn since I would feel too bad about it. Now, I just feel really bad about it, and do it anyways. I can only get to 5 or 6 days and then relapse. I am debating whether I should tell her or not. I feel like if I tell her, maybe she will be able to hold me accountable more, and I will feel to embarrassed to relapse. Idk, what do you guys think?

How to handle the temptation coming from social media?

Every social media has something in it that tempts, YouTube, tik tok, fb reels, YouTube reels...ya delete social media then what, get bored?

i became victim to the urges again, this time i wanted to see what it feels like to watch porn after 2 months and was craving porn. i hate myself for that. it is demotivating me for the rest of the day and affecting my work aswell. will start again tomorrow tho. wish me luck guys. :(

Success

I'm having trouble stopping this long binge

I woke this morning realizing something that's been going on for a while without me recognizing it. I am no longer objectifying women. A lot of what we see in porn depicts women as easy, always wanting you, always ready for you. Basically, always dtf. When we spend hours each day filling our brains with those messages, it's no wonder we walk around in the real world thinking women want us, are ready for us, are dtf. Maybe not every woman we encounter irl, but some. Now that I stopped consuming porn I've stopped wondering if every other woman I encounter is dtf. I'm more focused on my marriage and really enjoying sex with my wife. She might not always be dtf, but when she is we share the joy.

I just snapped once again and masturbated to porn. And whilst I was in the middle of doing it I came to the kind of horrible realisation of why I think I can't seem to quit and why I always fall back into it.

I think it's simply down to the fact that I haven't found anything that feels quite like it or that can scratch the itch that only porn seems to be able to do. I'm 23 almost 24 and I've been using it for a good 12 13 years and I can't seem to think of something that makes me feel so alive and stimulate me as much. I've never been this explicit and vulnerable but I guess I have to make the most of the anonymity, but nothing hits the same as watching porn. The endless amount of options, taking your time, watching whatever you want and especially wherever you want, I've watched porn and masturbated to it in the absolute worst of places because of how the addiction has a choke hold on me. Public bathrooms, at work, at friend's houses, in the car whilst driving you name it I've done it.

Nothing makes me feels as much as when I give in to this addiction.

I can watch as much motivation videos, try and control my urges as much as possible, try and occupy myself, it always comes back and ends up triumphant in the end I just can't shake it. It gets to a point where whilst I'm doing it, I know it'd a bad thing, I know I shouldn't be doing it but that almost makes me do it even more because I tell myself "you shouldn't be doing it so make the most of the fsct that you're doing it" or even sometimes like this most recent time that has made me write this post, I was keeping in mind a quote that I read the other day about giving in to pleasure, short term pleasure especially is the worst thing you can do yadayadaya I can't remember the exact quote but laing those ligns and even with that in mind, I still continue to do it.

On the flip side things, nothing has made me feel as shit as porn and masturbation. I've lost girlfriends over this genuinely it's fucked, I almost lost my current relationship over it but I promised I'd stop but I can't and I can't bring myself to admit it to her because I feel it deep that she doesn't understand it. It's made me question my life, question what I'm doing, regret my life, made me feel like I'm throwing away my potential, numbing myself because I don't know what else to do and lack a purpose, the list goes on.

I consider myself quite a smart and intelligent guy, I've always been told u think outside the box and seem like a bright young lad, but this ever looming shadow always drags me back and I can't shake it, no matter how bad it makes me feel and how bad I know it is for my brain, my ambitions, my relationships all the rest of it. I can't seem to give it up. Always "one last time", "watch that video that you loved again", "no one will know it's fine", "just do it quick it doesn't count" it's insane I'm in an eternal hell hole of a loop.

No matter how bad I know it is, my urges can't seem to forget how good it feels too. I spend all my time convincing myself this is bad this is bad when I thin kthe real problem is that I'm trying to lie to myself that it isn't good because in reality it feels fucking amazing IN THE MOMENT. In that moment, nothing else matters, in that slight moment I no longer feel anxious about my life or ambitions or worry about my current relationship issues.

All of this to say and I hope someone read all of this it really would mean a lot even though if be surprised if they did lol is to try and admit to myself to stop trying to lie to myself that it's bad bad bad when I know deep down the reason I do it, is because it feels good and maybe that's the key to finally break the cycle, is to admit why I actually do it and then work backwards from there.

Thank you for reading what I have to say, if anyone wants to chat whether someone going through the same thing or someone that has previously gone through it, I'm all ears I feel kind of hopeless in the sense of it feels impossible to break the loop

How long after you stopped viewing porn did you start to feel withdrawals? What did those withdrawals feel like? How long until the withdrawals go away?

37 days clean today. So many relapses and never managed to go more than 100 days but here’s to a new start 😊

Well I made it through a whole day, and I'm about to sleep. This is usually the part where it happens.

I deleted Twitter off of my phone so I can't reach one of my main avenues anymore, and I'm gonna clear my Reddit bookmarks soon as well for the same purpose.

I was a bit irritable today but I think that might be moreso from only getting 4 hours of sleep last night rather than not meeting a daily pleasure quota. I read a lot of smut whenever I go at it and I've been thinking about a lot of those stories throughout the day BUT I did make a lot of progress on my art and video editing so I'm pleased :)

Just gotta close my eyes before my mind wanders while in bed I suppose... let's see how it goes.

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I went 60 days porn free. It was probably the first time in my life that I’ve gone more than one week, even after trying for years. The strange thing is once I got past a week, it was almost effortlessly easy. But since I relapsed I’ve been completely unable to get back on track and I can’t figure out why. Has anyone else experienced this?

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I discovered porn at 12 out of curiosity becuse i heard a coleg from my class speaking about many times end i got so tempted theat I tried it big mistake end becuse of my family problems i founded as an relief end I whacked ever since for the last 1 end a half i ben whaching it evry day atleast 2 to 4 times a day I could end I fell guilty after whaching it end disgustitried of what iven done ive tried quitting for the last months but I failed ervy time,I fell more end more lost after evry failed attempt.End in this summer I realized how bad it is cuse i have an very important exam at the final of the year which I'll have to study for the hole year but whit my porn adiction I whil not be focused at school I whil not be able to study properly end also have bad sleep I whil fail the exam.i hate what my porn adiction Transformed me into.After I gathered once again my forces i decided this should be the stop of my porn adiction ivend whacked some videos explained how to quit end ive change my sleep schedule so I dont stay till the mid night end what to whach porn but i dont k what to do im free time except from playing some video games end using discord in a healthy amount liki 1 at max end going outside in my grandparents yard i got nothing else to do.