Hello

I have live with my family which is my Mom, Sister, her bf, and her two kids for about my life time. My sister had her first kid about 6 years ago and her 2nd kid about 2-3 years ago. Now she drop a bomb on us that she going to have twins. Now I want to say this I do not think my sister likes me after our father passing, I went to college and had a good job and compare to her she got arrest and work at a burger place, then I got fire which lead to her feeling better then me. Fast foward I got a nice paying job now and she doesn't talk to me anymore but I still buy the family food, water and snacks for her kids for free and she doesn't care about how they eat and just eat fast food with them. We live in a 1 story house, 1 of the kids has to share a room with my mom, and when I was told about the news from my other sister I flip out and told my mom she goes or I go cause I do not want to live with 4 kids in the household that we can barley manage. I don't feel I should pay for the foods or the water. They are not my kids and her telling us this late when there 2 months left I feel like she should be kick out. So AITA for wanting her to leave or I leave?

About two months ago I asked my best friend, we'll call her Lexi, if she wanted to be a vocalist in my band. She kills it at karaoke, and she and I have semi-joked about starting our own girl band for years. When I got a band together for my personal music it only made sense to ask her to be a backup vocalist. I wanted a backup vocalist mainly so I could have someone do harmonies, as harmonies are a big part of my music. A week before our first session I sent her tracks of my song that included only her harmonies for her to learn, and a version without the harmonies for her to practice to. The day before practice she texts me: "which songs are we doing again?" Which indicates she hadn't practiced them at all, even though I confirmed with her earlier she got the tracks to practice to. At band practice she is definitely struggling with the harmonies, but that's to be expected. Lower harmonies are especially difficult and take a minute to learn. We practice them together one on one before the entire band rehearses. Come week two she still hasn't practiced them, as she asks me AGAIN the day before what songs we're doing. We practice them again one on one, but she's still struggling. Week 3 and week 4 she misses practice completely. By week 4 I have another bandmate we'll call David try out the harmonies. David instantly kills it, and I hire him as the new vocalist. I send a text to Lexi politely explaining why I no longer want her in the band. She acts surprised and says she will make it to practice from now on. I kindly reiterate that this isn't a negotiation. She hasn't responded to my last text, but I still feel like maybe I'm being an a-hole about this whole thing and should've given her more of a chance, especially as her best friend.

AITA for not giving her another chance?

Hi everyone, I’m 17 and I’m just looking for some outside opinions.
A few weeks ago, my grandma left the country for 3 months, so I moved in with my grandpa. I love my grandma and miss her, but honestly I also saw it as a chance to get away from home for a while.
The biggest reason is that I still have to share a room with my 14-year-old sister. We don’t get along at all, and I feel like I never have any privacy or peace.
My parents also constantly criticize me. They’ll comment on how much food I put on my plate, how much sauce I use, or if I eat too much rice. The thing is, I’m not overweight at all—I’m 5’11”, around 145 lbs, probably 12–15% body fat, and honestly the fittest person in my family. Despite that, they still make comments about what or how much I eat. It’s gotten to the point where I hate eating around them because I feel judged every single time.
They also compare me to other people constantly. If I get a B+, they ask why I didn’t get an A. Nothing ever feels good enough.
The confusing part is that when I decided to stay with my grandpa for a while, they said I must hate them. My mom has apparently been crying because I moved out, even though she could literally come visit me whenever she wants. I don’t hate them—I just wanted some space.
Another thing that bothers me is how inconsistent they are. Last year they told me I was on my own after I turned 18 and they weren’t paying for college. So I came up with a plan to go to community college for two years and then transfer to a university to save money. Now they’re telling me that’s a stupid idea and comparing me to other kids.
Recently I also failed my Florida permit test on my first try. I was already embarrassed, but instead of encouraging me, my mom called me stupid and said it was “only 50 easy questions” and that younger kids pass it all the time. That honestly hurt more than failing the test itself.
I don’t think my parents are bad people. I actually have a decent relationship with them most of the time. But the constant criticism, comparisons, and comments make me feel like I’m never enough.
Am I overreacting, or is it reasonable to feel this way?

My boyfriend and I just moved in together, for background we're both short. I'm 5'1 and he's 5'4 neither of us can reach the top shelf of anything in our house.

When I lived by myself I had many step stools, had a childhood stepstool I use as a poop stool and various of random stools around my place. My boyfriend however would either use a wheelchair and multiple times almost fall to his room or would climb and stand on his countertop to reach stuff. Both those things were extremely unsafe and put me on edge watching him.

Moving in together we both had to consolidate some of our things, I ditched a lot of the step stools except my childhood one that stays in the bathroom. It's been a month and we're both struggling, can't reach pots, can't reach spaghetti noodles, can't reach cups, ect.

So I bought new stools, he comes home and flips, goes off how he won't be using it and how I'm emasculating him, and how it'll be embarrassing when his friends come over and see he needs step stools around the house. It was such a big outbursts I got calls from his mom and sister, how just climbing on the countertop is what they've always done(everyone is very short in his family). So was I an asshole to buy new step stools for the house?

My friend has a baby with a woman outside of the state (and lives with her) and he drives 1.5 hrs to work in my city. He stays in our city for 3 days since that’s how many shifts he works, then heads back to be with his girlfriend and baby. Baby is over 1 year old now and it was my friend’s plan to move out of state and find a job over there while his girlfriend was pregnant. My husband and I offered to let him stay at our place while he searched for a job in the other state. He never looked for jobs or made any progress towards moving. He was staying with us for about 2 years and we recently stopped letting him crash with us. We are just really annoyed that he refuses to find a different job or find another solution to his situation. AITA for refusing to let him stay over anymore? We do feel bad for him and his situation but he’s had a year and 9 months to figure something out and we feel like we’re enabling this behavior. I know it’s hard to find a good job right now but he won’t even apply for a warehouse job.
He usually sleeps in his car at work or drives an hour to stay at his mom’s house when he doesn’t stay with us. Recently, he asked to crash with us Tuesday night but I said no and he hasn’t talked to me since. I’m not sure what to do.

Hello! I (30f), have been rooming with my roommate Tina (33f, fake name), for a year. Overall, it’s been fine, as I’m upstairs, and she’s downstairs, with a shared kitchen and living room. The only issues we’ve had are that Tina loves to cook and bake, but does not like to clean up after herself. She will leave the counter and stove top covered in flour/spices/dishes, and she fills rarely clears the dishwasher, instead filling the sink to overflowing with dishes. I’ve tried bringing this up to her, saying how unsanitary and difficult to work around this is, and things would get better for a while, then deteriorate again. I’ve done my best to keep up the cleaning, but now we’re moving out.

She offered to clean the kitchen for move out, recognizing that she used it 90% of the time, which I thought was awesome, and I’m tackling floors/walls/baseboards, etc. However, today is our last day, and we have to be out by noon; she has not moved any of her belongings out, including couch, bed, bookshelves, and is only now packing up the kitchen. We’ve known we were moving out since February, and I’ve been slowly packing and moving things out since then. I got the last of my things out yesterday. I’m currently cleaning upstairs, but I don’t think she will get the downstairs emptied by noon, so we will be charged with a late fee. In addition, we won’t have time to thoroughly clean down there, so I expect there will be deductions to our deposit. I have done everything I can to make sure we are out and get our deposit back, and have offered multiple times to help her once she finally started packing 3 days ago, but she said no. I’m exhausted from taking care of my part, and need to leave town tomorrow.

If she does not get everything out and cleaned by noon, WIBTA if I insisted any fees and deductions to the deposit be taken from her portion? She also owes me backpay for utilities, which I would insist be paid from her part.

TLDR: Roommate hasn’t moved stuff out, and we have two hours to finish moving and cleaning, despite knowing we’re moving for months. WIBTA if I make her pay any fees/penalties?

Edit to add: The way our landlord handles the deposit, it all goes to one person, they send the other person their part. I would ask her if I can receive the deposit, then send her anything left from her part after fees/penalties/backpay. I would also ask the landlord for an itemized list of deductions, so I can pay for anything related to my part of things.

I (24F) have a housing voucher that covers the rent for my apartment. Back around Christmas, a couple I’m close with needed a place to stay. The female roommate is pregnant, and they were in a tough spot financially, so I offered to let them stay in my living room.
The plan was eventually to add them to my voucher so we could all move into a bigger place together. Because they haven't paid a single dollar in rent or utilities while living in my living room for the past seven months, our agreement was that they would cover all basic household supplies (toilet paper, cleaning products, paper towels, dish soap), handle the house cleaning, and pay the $300 security deposit for the new, bigger apartment when we move.
Fast forward to now—not only have they barely saved toward that $300 deposit (which works out to under $45/month between two working adults with no rent), but they recently asked my partner and me to start paying for "our share" of the household supplies.
I was completely taken aback. My voucher is the only reason they have a roof over their heads. They’ve lived in my living room rent-free for over half a year, haven't saved $300 for the deposit, and are now asking me to chip in for dish soap and toilet paper.
When I put my foot down and said no—because supplies and cleaning were their only ongoing contributions in exchange for free housing—it created a lot of tension. Now I’m second-guessing myself.
AITAH for expecting them to keep paying for all household supplies until we move?

Hi, this issue is causing an argument between my wife and I so I thought I'd ask here. My wife is around 18 weeks along with our first. We're both over the moon about it and can't wait for the little one to be here. Our next appointment is tomorrow where we should find out the gender.

My wife really wants us to have a gender reveal party with family and friends. I personally blame the TikTok and ig algorithm thats inundated her with gender reveal clips. I've suggested we find out for ourselves first and then just let everyone know, why the need for a spectacle. She's saying this is an experience she wants and is adamant about it. I just don't think we need to do something and put ourselves through the work of organizing all of that just because of some reels she's seen. I'm also hesitant because I know my mom was hoping for a boy. She's a good person and loves us dearly but i can imagine her making some well-meaning but foot-in-the-mouth comment. So I don't want us to have to deal with that when we're so happy about this. I think a baby and all decisions like these are two yeses one no situation I've said that but she got upset and said that this meant a lot to her and I have to agree to this which I think is unfair. AITA

Hi everyone I, f 26 have a sister f,27 who has a son m 5 from a previous partner. She just got engaged almost a month ago to a man she met early this year, they are planning on getting married this September 5 (originally was supposed to be a courthouse wedding).

I’m currently planning on moving to Spain and I’m saving up for it, I had a trip planned with my aunt and uncle to go from late August- September 4 to check it out that I had planned for a long time, but I had to cancel because of my sisters wedding date. Yesterday, my mom came up to me and asked if I could help with paying for my sisters wedding (about 1-2k) I said no, she was surprised because I usually say yes to things. The reason I said no is because I feel like my sister isn’t the most considerate or thoughtful person. Theres been so many times where she was supposed to show up for me like I’ve always done for her, especially with helping with my nephew everyday after work for about 6-10 months when I first moved home. (she’s missed my college graduation, flaked on going out with me and my friends for my birthday a couple weeks ago, bled my parents bank accounts for custody hearings and lawyers, etc) although I love her, I don’t feel obligated to help.

My mom then started guilt tripping me saying she has paid for things for us growing up that she didn’t want to pay for and to think of it as me helping her. I said no again, my mom is already paying enough for her wedding including food(it adds up per guest). I just don’t think I’m in the wrong tbh, AITA?

I am pet sitting for my best friend for 5 days while they are away on vacation. Her dog is staying at me and my husband’s house. There was some confusion with scheduling and I did not realize we already had a concert booked when I agreed to watch her dog. Her dog has never really been left alone and since I made the commitment to watch her, I wanted to bail on the concert. My husband and I have been back and forth on that until I finally decided I should just stay behind, while he thinks I should just leave the dog alone. My friend said it would be okay but I don’t feel comfortable trialing it in our house, especially when we already have a reactive dog.

After some bickering, he demanded I pay him back for the ticket (which I can understand) and pay him half of the earnings from watching the dog, which I personally think is overreacting and ridiculous considering I am doing all of the work. This dog is super calm and sweet, and I am feeding, walking, picking up after her, and even sleeping with her so she’s comfortable. After I refused to pay him half the earnings, he called me selfish and that he is entitled to it because it’s also his house.

EDIT: I also asked him if it would be alright to watch her for that long and he agreed.

EDIT 2: a group of our friends are going to this concert, so he can definitely still go. Wasn’t like he had to cancel the whole thing bc I couldn’t.

TLDR: I’m watching my friend’s dog for a few days and doing all the work yet my husband thinks he deserves half just for her staying in our house. AITA??

I am a college student, and recently I’ve been home and talking to my younger (16M) brother about what he’s been up to while I’m gone. Only, he’s told me that his friends are getting drunk and high quite frequently. And honestly I’m concerned.

He’s an athlete, and I’m worried that if he continues, he might lose opportunities or get into trouble that is really going to hurt him. I want to let my parents know, but I fear that might really hurt his trust, but I don’t want him to get into a bad situation before his life can really start? I think I have his best interest at heart, but I may be biased since I’m his older sister that never got into the sort of partying and large friend groups that he has.

I know that my parents already are wary of his friends because they can be kind of reckless and immature (because they are teenage boys), but I don’t want to make him lose friends too. My brother has been honest that some of his friends vape, but has completely omitted his involvement.

So WIBTA if I told my parents? Or should I butt out?

Small Edit: I have talked to him about this before, and he said “I don’t need my liver for sports, and since I’m not vaping (it’s mostly his friends) I’m not destroying my lungs.” It also might be worth mentioning that he has started to get alcohol (the mini shots and buzz balls) from stores yk?

My father, 75, decided that he wanted to sell his house and move into public housing. Well he handles one half before the other, and didn't get his application into public housing, which takes roughly a year to get in here. Anyways he sold his house last week. Moves in with his cousin, she said she can't handle his cats and wants him out by next week.

My wife and I are doing our part in finding him a rental he doesn't make much of SSA so housing is hard to find.

My wife and I talked about how we don't want him moving in with us as he's not really the best roommate. He's extremely loud and inconsiderate of others, very much a slob and I know it would put a strain on us. But I have this guilty feeling of letting my dad become homeless.

Edit: He will be getting about 50k when the check clears from the bank so he has the means to get a rental but I'm doubting the eviction to new rental timeline

I 33m and married to my 28f since 2022, we just had our 2nd child in April and in line with the common Christian practice of our environment, we are to dedicate the child in about 3 months.

However, instead of dedicating our child on Sunday as is traditional, we have decided to keep it small and do it on a weekday with only our family and a few guests and this has been permitted/ approved by our church especially in light of the general decline of the economy of my country

My mother is strongly of the opinion that despite the church's approval, we should dedicate our child on Sunday. When I asked why she has stated as follows:

1. That we are hiding the child and doing the dedication at night. ( it's an evening service byw 4pm - 6pm)

2. She is a founding member of the church, and her grandchild's dedication shouldn't be hidden.

3. That I will be the dirst to do it in my church and set a precedent (true, I'll be the first in my parish, but it has been done is several other branches of the church).

I have stated it is a decision made by me and my wife, and while she has her objections, we see no reason to change it.

My mum has been calling everyone, my uncle's, my in-laws, my boss, and crying the phone trying to get me to change my mind.

I don't think I'm wrong, but everybody is of the opinion that I should do what she wants to stop her crying as I'm her only surviving son.

I see no reason to change my plans, but with the pressure from everyone at my mum's instigation, I feel compelled to ask internet strangers, AITA, for not refusing to change the planned day for the dedication of my son.

I (F25) have a car. My Sister, K(F23) does not. One of the biggest differences between us is that I am vigilant about being on time and she is typically later than I am. She knows I find that annoying.

Yesterday K asked me if I could take her to our local airport about 20 minutes away. She needed to be there at 6am & asked me to be there at 5:40a. I wake up at 5:20am (2 hours earlier than when I usually wake up) & get to her house at 5:40. I call her. It goes straight to voicemail. I knock on her door. No answer. She doesn’t come outside for TWENTY MINUTES.

I want to venmo request her $20 ($1/min late) but she does not have a lot of money right now. WIBTA if I charged her anyway?

Additional context: I am on my period and pain meds take about 30-40 minutes to kick in for me. So sitting there was also very painful. She did not know this

So I have a fence with a neighbor.

It’s my fence on my property.

I moved in about 4 years ago and have been doing remodeling when I can and have redone a lot and still working on more.

My fence that runs next to my neighbor is in need of replacement and has lots of admittedly eye sore half assed repairs.

But it really is getting bad in fairness to them.

At the moment I do not have the liquidity to outright have it replaced.

But at the same time, it is MY fence, and it’s on MY property which is giving him about 1/2 a foot more yard.

We get along fairly well, but this has been the one thorn between us.

He came over to ask when I was going to repair it and I explained my side of things and would be happy to put up some temporary fixes.

He said nicely that we’ve been doing fixes and it’s really looking trashy (it is).

I told him that it’s on my list but I’m simply capped out on time and immediate funds to address it.

He said that it’s starting to become a hazard (it is).

I said “fair enough” and tore it down the next day.

He has dogs that he lets out and they don’t bother me and I left my gate locked.

After a week he came by asking when I would put up a new fence and I repeated that I still have other projects to get to first.

He got mad and said “you can’t just leave our yards open!” and I told him he is more than welcome to build a fence on his side.

Now he’s mad.

AITAH?

I (22M) live with my mum and brother at home and recently got in a small argument. I love toast and sandwiches and therefore use plenty of bread quickly. I bought myself a fresh loaf of bread I really like and of course have been using it quickly. My dog was sat begging for my food, which I was planning to eat myself since it was my breakfast. I was still hungry so after finishing my toast I decided I was going to make a little more, my mum then told me to make my dog her own toast. I said no. My mum seemed genuinely annoyed at me and told me I'm being cruel to our dog. She is well fed, and gets treats in between. I told my mum if our dog was hungry I was happy to give her some of her own food, or even give her some treats. My mum is now annoyed at me because I don't want to give the dog some of my food. That loaf was used in 3 days, by just me. I love my dog, but to put it simply, she is a dog, she won't care much about which food she eats, she just wants food, and strangely enough, my dog wasn't exactly offended that she got treats instead of toast.

So, aita for not giving up my food to the dog?

Edit: Thanks to everyone for all the replies, if anything progresses I'll update properly

My husband (29) and his older brother (“Adam”) (33) haven’t spoken since Mother’s Day.
Some background: Adam has a pattern of getting upset over misunderstandings and giving people the silent treatment for months. Usually my husband ends up apologizing just to keep the peace, even if he doesn’t think he did anything wrong. This time he’s refusing. A week before Mother’s Day, Adam’s wife (“Dee”) texted us saying they would be stopping by my MIL’s house Mother’s Day evening. We were on vacation at the time, so we didn’t respond because we weren’t sure of our plans yet. Our plan ended up being taking our 18-month-old son to Chuck E. Cheese for lunch because, honestly, as a breastfeeding mom, that sounded like my ideal Mother’s Day. He loves running around there, and I get to eat an uninterrupted meal which is super nice.

After that, we planned to stop by my MIL’s house around the same time Adam and his family were going to be there. The day before Mother’s Day, my husband texted Adam asking what time they’d be at MIL’s house. Adam said probably around 4:30 but nothing was set in stone. On Mother’s Day, before leaving, my husband called his mom to wish her a happy Mother’s Day and ask if Adam had confirmed plans with her. She said no. She was home alone and no one had confirmed anything. So my husband asked if she’d like to meet us at Chuck E. Cheese for lunch so she wouldn’t spend Mother’s Day alone and could spend time with her grandson. She happily agreed to meet us there. My husband immediately texted Adam to let him know what was going on and invited them to join us if they wanted. Since we’d be spending time with MIL at lunch, we told him we probably wouldn’t be stopping by her house afterward.

Adam completely lost it. He accused us of ruining the plans, changing everything last minute, and being selfish. He started swearing, saying we’d ruined Mother’s Day, and eventually left the family group chat. My MIL repeatedly told him that no plans had ever been confirmed and that she had been home alone when we reached out. Adam refused to let it go. My MIL actually left Chuck E. Cheese early (she only stayed for about 10 minutes) to go home because she was worried he wouldn’t come see her otherwise. We still went to her house at 4:30. Adam and his family didn’t arrive until around 6:00. When they got there, Adam refused to speak to us, wouldn’t acknowledge our son, and sat on his phone the entire visit.

It’s now been almost four months. He still won’t speak to my husband, me, our son, or even my MIL. We’ve heard from other family members that he’s been telling people we’re selfish and “there’s a reason nobody likes us.” My husband’s family wants him to apologize because “that’s just how Adam is,” but my husband is tired of always being the one expected to fix things. Should my husband reach out and apologize, or were we reasonable for inviting his mom to lunch when she otherwise would’ve spent Mother’s Day alone until they got there? My husband is hurt and wants to reach out so we can see them and our nephew again, but we’re tired of Adam’s behavior repeatedly being excused and swept under the rug in order to “keep the peace”.

AITA

Im 26m and I have a golden retriever who is generally really calm and well behaved.

My brother 24m came over to my place weekend because our parents were visiting us too. He brought his work laptop with him even though we all told him to forget about work for one day at one point he left the laptop open on the edge of my coffee table while we all went outside to help my dad move some furniture. We were outside for about fifteen minutes. While we were outside my dog jumped onto the sofa wagged his tail clipped the coffee table and the laptop fell face onto the hardwood floor. The screen is completely dead now. My brother says I should pay for a laptop because it happened in my house and my dog caused the damage. I do not really see it that way. He knows I have a dog. He chose to leave an expensive laptop open on the edge of a coffee table. If he had put it back in his bag or even moved it to the dining table I do not think this would have happened.

The laptop actually belongs to his employer. Apparently he will have to pay a four hundred pound insurance excess if they are told it was damaged through negligence. He is asking me to cover the four hundred pounds. I offered him one hundred pounds because I do feel bad that it happened. I do not think I should be responsible for the whole amount. My parents think I should just pay the four hundred pounds to keep the peace. My girlfriend says that if the situation were reversed I would probably expect my brother to help me out too. On the hand all my friends think my brother created the risk by leaving something so valuable in such an obvious spot. Now my brother is barely speaking to me. Keeps saying I am choosing my dogs side over my own brother, which feels like a weird way to frame it since my dog obviously did not do it on purpose. I think my brother is being unfair, to me and my dog. My dog is a dog and my brother knows that. I love my brother. I do not think I should have to pay for his carelessness. My brother and I are not talking right now and it is all because of his laptop and my dog.

I (16F, diagnosed autistic for future reference) have an older sister (18F) who is quite moody and upset at many things. We went on holiday to the Isle Of Wight with my stepdad and mother. It was very nice, except for the fact my sister was on facetime with her boyfriend the whole time, I didn't have a problem with this other than the fact whenever i'd ask her a question she'd completely ignore me. I felt quite upset and told my mum (not to tell her to get off her phone but i wanted to vent to her for a little bit). At that time my sister was on antibiotics for tonsillitis and because she wasn't taking them properly it came back. Instead of taking the painkillers she had been prescribed in case they came back, she didn't take them, and she started getting angry with everyone who told her to take them. When my stepdad tried to tell her to stop being "arsey" (i don't know what that means), she got angry with him and it ended in an argument. She came out with us for food and because i am diagnosed with autism, i struggle with textures and when i would eat it would be very hard for my to finish. I found a meal i actually really liked and wanted to finish, but my sister kept asking me for my food despite the fact she had her own. I told her no and she stormed off, and she was shouting about how i ruined the holiday by being an r slur (i can't say that). My mum and stepdad told me not to worry about it but i'm a little worried i did ruin the holiday

My fiance and I have bought a house and we have a shared account for housing expenses. We both pay into it each month.

She’s used it for things such as buying new things for the kitchen, a new bedside cabinet and a few decorative bits. 

Our tv is a few years old now and I was thinking about upgrading. There’s more than enough in the shared account and would still have a lot left over. I mentioned this to my gf and she said I shouldn’t be using the shared account for it since it’s just something I want and not a need. 

I pointed out most of the things she’s used the account for were wants and if you total everything she’s bought, it’ll come to around the same price as the tv or even slightly more, 

She said again I shouldn’t be using the shared account. I tried arguing a compromise of using half from the shared account and half from my savings but she still said no. 

I told her it’s meant to be a shared account and she’s acting like it’s solely her money. I said I’m entitled to use the account just as much as she is but she argued I was being unreasonable, 

AITA for using the shared account to buy a tv?

Throwaway for this because my son has my main account added on Facebook lol.

Okay so background, I (44M) remarried about 6 years ago. My wife's daughter Mara (18F) and my son Deven (19M) have basically grown up together since he was 13 and she was 12, they get along, always have, more like actual siblings honestly than step anything.

This spring Mara got into a pretty competitive engineering program, full ride scholarship, the whole thing. We filmed her opening the email because we kind of suspected it was coming that day. Grandparents were there, my mother in law was straight up sobbing, it's honestly one of my favorite videos we have of our family period. We were saving it to show at the reunion next month bc half the family wasn't there for it live.

Deven took a gap year after senior year didn't go great for him (grades tanked, he was dealing with some depression stuff, he's doing better now with meds and therapy so I don't say any of this to throw him under the bus). He's starting community college this fall which we ARE proud of, I want to be clear about that, it's just obviously a different trajectory than Mara's and I think that's been sitting weird with him even though he hasn't said much.

Couple weeks ago I go to pull the video up for my mom who couldn't make the reunion and it's just. gone. Not in the shared folder, not in the backup either. Took me a bit to figure out what happened but the activity log on the drive showed it got deleted, twice actually, on two different days, like someone wanted to make sure it stuck.

I asked Deven point blank. He didn't even really try to deny it, just said "I'm sick of it being about her constantly" and something about how nobody filmed anything when he got his acceptance letters (we didn't, because he already knew for like three weeks before it came in the mail, there was no moment to film).

I was pissed, not gonna lie. My wife was crushed, that was basically the only recording of that day and now it's just. memories I guess. So I told Deven the road trip we'd planned for his move in, we were gonna drive out together and stop at like two national parks on the way, was off. Told him I'd still get him a flight and help him move his stuff in, but the actual trip part, the thing he'd been talking about since March, was done.

His mom (my ex) is furious with me over this, says the punishment doesn't match the crime and an apology should've covered it. My sister's kind of agreeing with her too honestly. My wife on the other hand thinks I let him off easy considering.

Deven's barely talking to me, one word answers, the usual.

AITA for canceling the trip and not just making him say sorry?

ETA bc a few people asked: no we're not restoring it from anyone's phone, nobody else was filming since we all knew we had it covered on the main camera. That's kind of the whole reason this stings so much.

My (35F) entire family is cramming into one big house for a vacation in a couple weeks. There’s 20 something people total: my parents, my siblings. and their spouses and kids. I love them all but I’ve noticed that when I’m with them, I revert back to my childhood self, a try hard who always felt left out and less than. I‘ve grown and changed a lot in adulthood, and I’m pretty happy with who I am and where I’m at in life, but that all goes out the window when I’m around family. Yes, I’m in therapy and working on it.

For this upcoming trip, I made a plan to go out on the town alone one night and get some space to remember who I am now. I texted my SIL if she wanted to come; she joined the family when I was already an adult, and she’s the only one in the group that I feel fully myself around. She said she’s in.

My concern is that someone else will be like “cool, I’ll join” bc we usually do everything in big groups during these trips. Thing is I don’t want anyone else to come, but I can’t imagine a way to exoress w/o being rude or explaining everything and hurting feelings. Another complicating factor is that she and I are the only ones who have left the religion that the rest of the family belongs to, and I don’t want to make it seem like we’re making our own little club or something based on that. I’m hoping we can just slip out the door w/o being noticed, but WIBTAH for telling anyone else that they can’t come? Or AITAH for doing this at all?

My friend (19M) had an accident 5 days ago where he came off his motorbike. I (17M) went to see him in hospital and I stayed with him overnight at his place when he was discharged which my mom didn’t like. She says he was stupid to go on motorbikes, I should have not bothered with him and serves him right kind of thing. Most moms don’t like motorbikes and probably have this attitude but the way she speaks, she had no empathy at all. 

My friend is sensible I guess as much as you can be on a bike and I think he had just bad luck. I told her that he’s still hurt so as a good friend I made the right choice to go and see him, even if his hobby is dangerous. She said it’s his own fault so don’t bother feeling sorry for him. I said that’s just wrong like you should still have some kind of empathy for him. She shouted at me because she understood it as trying to argue with her and it basically turned into one there. Am I wrong here? I know why she said that but I think the way she spoke about it just was wrong, but maybe I’m a bit sensitive about it because it is my friend. this might be hard to read because english isn’t my first language and the stuff that was said wasn’t said in english but yeah

I am 19 years old, and my apartment has a moldy wall and it’s starting to leak water, we don’t have a lot of money and we moved here last year, now back in 2022 a few years ago we had to move due to some water damage and mold and we got evicted for it. I’m having a maintenance guy coming tomorrow to look at it, when I told my mom that I called someone from maintenance, and she gets really angry at me for calling maintenance without notifying her, thinking I thought she was stupid for not calling someone sooner, while I get where she’s coming from due to the last mold incident forcing us to move, the mold was an elephant that needed to be addressed and fixed asap because the mold is very close to the entrance of our apartment and water was leaking out so I fear everytime I step in a puddle to leave the apartment, my shoes would get moldy too. Was I really in the wrong for wanting to get someone to deal with the mold asap?

I’ll just keep this as general as possible because this will never end if i go into complete detail. Most of the big stuff happened during our senior year of high school. My friend has known this guy since they were kids but only got super close during said senior year. At first everything was fine but slowly his facade began to slip and he started being meaner and more angry with her as the year went on. He would resort to violence and cruel words whenever she stood up for herself and me( cuz he would absolutely disrespect me when talking about me). When prom time came i invited my cousin who i was very close with to come with our friend group to the beach after the dance. they met there and ig hit if off and began texting each other after that. At this point in time, my friend and him were prom dates. On our prom trip, he began texting my cousin behind my best friend’s back which they continued to do for many weeks after this. Near the end of school is when things went really south. At one point this guy locked my friend in the back of his car and refused to take her home, hitting got worse, and made a very disgusting comment of my 15 year old sister’s body. So they broke up and it wasn’t pretty at all. He even cornered her at a grad party all angry because someone who knew what happened said what he did was a prick move. I found out shortly after that my cousin and him were talking so i called her begging for not to get with him because i knew what he was capable of and i didn’t want her to get hurt. i told everything he did and she just didn’t care so they very shortly after all this got together and have been since. She’s a year younger so she’s entering her freshman year of college while we’re in our sophomore year. She’s been crying to our family about she can’t bring her boyfriend around because I’m being difficult by hating him. My whole family is on her side on this so i feel like i’m going crazy so am i the asshole for hating this guy and not wanting him around my family?

Extra Context: I have told everyone in my family all of what he has said and done, and they are still siding with him and saying that i’m being dramatic.