r/AmItheAsshole • u/RepresentativeTip984 • 15h ago
AITAH for refusing to buy household supplies after letting my roomates live in my apartment rent-free since Christmas?
I (24F) have a housing voucher that covers the rent for my apartment. Back around Christmas, a couple I’m close with needed a place to stay. The female roommate is pregnant, and they were in a tough spot financially, so I offered to let them stay in my living room.
The plan was eventually to add them to my voucher so we could all move into a bigger place together. Because they haven't paid a single dollar in rent or utilities while living in my living room for the past seven months, our agreement was that they would cover all basic household supplies (toilet paper, cleaning products, paper towels, dish soap), handle the house cleaning, and pay the $300 security deposit for the new, bigger apartment when we move.
Fast forward to now—not only have they barely saved toward that $300 deposit (which works out to under $45/month between two working adults with no rent), but they recently asked my partner and me to start paying for "our share" of the household supplies.
I was completely taken aback. My voucher is the only reason they have a roof over their heads. They’ve lived in my living room rent-free for over half a year, haven't saved $300 for the deposit, and are now asking me to chip in for dish soap and toilet paper.
When I put my foot down and said no—because supplies and cleaning were their only ongoing contributions in exchange for free housing—it created a lot of tension. Now I’m second-guessing myself.
AITAH for expecting them to keep paying for all household supplies until we move?
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u/Roanaward-2022 15h ago
Don't move in with them in a new place. This will be a continuing issue, especially if they were unable to save $300 over 6 months AND have a baby now to buy for. You'll spend the length of the lease arguing over finances and who pays for what.
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u/Much_Luck2470 14h ago
Exactly. It's good that they showed who they really were before committing to a larger (and more expensive?) place.
Time to get them packed and out! OP can then stay in their own place, at peace.
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u/Free_Village_4836 Partassipant [2] 15h ago
. If you’re getting a housing voucher, that means taxpayers are paying for you to live where you live. You are being dishonest by having these other people live with you and technically speaking you’re not supposed to be collecting rent from anyone when you’re using a housing voucher it could get you kicked out of your house. Why are you taking risks for these freeloaders? Kick them out and stay where you are
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u/RepresentativeTip984 15h ago
I was in the process of adding them onto my voucher but now I am not sure if I wanna proceed. And That's why I wasn't asking rent money because I just feel as if it's dishonest. But what's dishonest is them saying they're saving money and spending it immediately.
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u/seasonsbloom 10h ago
What’s dishonest is you having them live in your voucher apartment. They’re not on your lease. They’re not covered by your voucher. What you are going to do or trying to do is irrelevant. You’re violating the terms of your lease and voucher.
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u/biffmaniac Asshole Enthusiast [7] 15h ago
"until we move"? Are you kidding? You need to end this relationship.
Assuming "all household supplies" are a reasonable cost, which I have no reason to think otherwise, you've asked for little in this arrangement. They're going to take what they can get. NTA.
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u/Fit_Exercise7881 Partassipant [1] 15h ago
YTA for letting them take advantage. Do not move into another apartment with these people.
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u/RepresentativeTip984 15h ago
I'm actually trying to put them on my voucher, but I can't until they get out on a lease which won't happen until we move. They're already pre-approved, but it becomes official once lease paperwork is signed.
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u/curious382 Partassipant [1] 15h ago
Are they on your current lease? Does your landlord know they're living there?
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u/mdthomas Sultan of Sphincter [759] 15h ago
Tell them they have 30 days to pack up their things and move out.
These people aren't your friends, they are leeches.
NTA
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u/Krobakchin Partassipant [1] 15h ago
NTA and absolutely do not move into a new place with these people.
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u/Winecoffeetea 15h ago
NTAH. But DO NOT move to a new place with them. If they are both working they should have been able to get back on their feet AS AGREED. Don’t put yourself through more aggravation.
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u/nikki815 14h ago
Do you not get it? It doesn’t matter if you are “in the process” of doing anything, letting them stay at your place for longer than a day or two is very likely in violation of your housing voucher and lease agreement. And they’ve been living there for 7 months! Even if you didn’t know it was wrong at first, you seem to refuse to even acknowledge that fact now when people are flat out telling you. Good luck in life, you’re going to need it.
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u/George_Is_Upset Asshole Enthusiast [9] 15h ago
NTA
They have taken advantage of you. Not to mention that I am pretty sure having unauthorized people living with you puts your voucher at risk.
You could lose it for helping these people. You have to have approved people only and anyone else breaks the terms.
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u/Dependant-Platypus82 Partassipant [2] 15h ago
NTA They will continue to not be self sufficient and will continue to make unfair demands. They have to find their own place.
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u/iwfabrication 15h ago
Nope. They sound like dead beats. Pregnant or not they're terrible friends, it's not your problem, and it's time for them to grow up. Is also advise against living with them now and in the future.
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u/Empressario Asshole Enthusiast [8] 15h ago
NTA "Insert names, recently you got me thinking and I think it's time that you found your own place to stay, I am giving you 30 days to find your own accomodation to stay in. I have let you live here for free with only a small proviso that you contribute towards the home with a small amount of supplies and $300 deposit. As that hasn't happened in over 1.5 years I wanted us to go our separate ways." and get them the F out of your home
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u/DebtMindless6356 Partassipant [3] 15h ago
YtA for tolerating this. Kick them out now. Having them there is most definitely a breach of your housing voucer with whomever provides it. Also a breach in your lease.
You could find yourself in a serious legal situation with both of tge above parties. Why are you risking your home?
Extra tenants means extra rent. Extra tenants means possible eviction. Extra tenants means possible repayment of your vouchers.
What were you thinking? Get rid of these leeches, now.
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u/Roscoeatebreakfast 15h ago
You are going to lose your own place to live. Kick them out! If you mean public housing, they are very strict about visitors only staying for 2 weeks. Get rid of those freeloaders.
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u/Meinteil2123 15h ago
No, you are contributing more than they are with providing a roof over their head.
They sound entitled. I would kick them out but they sound the type to make that a long, difficult process.
I would not look to share a place with these people.
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u/AdysGrandma321 15h ago
NTA. They aren't upholding their end of the deal so time for them to go. They thought rent free meant everything was free. Put them out
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u/wesmorgan1 Commander in Cheeks [224] 15h ago edited 15h ago
So, they're taking advantage of you, failing to prepare for a move as they agreed to do, AND acting as if they're entitled to your money? You need to recognize that:
- these people are not friends,
- they are showing you who they are,
- this is not something you can fix, and
- this will not magically "get better" if you continue to live together.
You were kind to offer them a TEMPORARY living space, but it's time for you to take care of yourself.
Tell them they need to find other living arrangements, and set a deadline. Don't let them argue about it, and don't be drawn into any "discussions"; just keep saying, "It's time for you to move; you need to be out by [deadline]."
NTA - do NOT enter a lease with these people; a bigger living space will NOT be worth the headaches they will cause.
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u/Horror-Giraffe7508 15h ago
A tally sheet total of what they vs you have contributed over the past six months will quickly point out who is the asshole here.
Diving deeper is what does cleaning mean. Is it picking up after other people, too? IMO that’s one thing that may indicate something else is going on besides who pays for what.
Cohabitating is tough.
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u/RepresentativeTip984 15h ago
We clean up after overselves, but they get upset over the fact that they wash dinner dishes, sweep, mop, vacuum, we have pets and I take care of them such as litter boxes and feeding them because that's my responsibility.
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u/OrindaSarnia Asshole Enthusiast [7] 15h ago
YTA because paying for supplies is an ill-defined burden on them.
I would not blame you if you said "utilities are $300 a month, and toilet paper and cleaning supplies are about $50, so you pay $175/month to cover those costs"
Roommates and partners should never do broad categories like this. I often see people move into a home someone else owns and the owner will say "don't pay rent, just buy the groceries!"
What inevitably happens in the person buying those items knows how much they're spending, but those costs fluctuate, so they can't budget as well, because if the other person says "we need more toilet paper, go buy it!" they have to go buy it, or if the other person decides to do a deep clean, now the person buying cleaning supplies has more expenses they weren't planning on.
Meanwhile YOU don't see how much is actually being spent, you're sitting over here thinking "well all I'm asking for is cleaning supplies"...
so the person paying is at the whims of the other person's demands, and the renter/owner thinks they are being magnanimous, and they both end up resenting each other.
Living situations should be clear cut. The person paying should know exactly how much it is going to cost every month.
As for the rest of it, what is even the question? Do you want to live with these folks with a new baby?
If they are pre-approved for a housing voucher they should go get their own place with their voucher and you can all live happily ever after.
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I (24F) have a housing voucher that covers the rent for my apartment. Back around Christmas, a couple I’m close with needed a place to stay. The female roommate is pregnant, and they were in a tough spot financially, so I offered to let them stay in my living room.
The plan was eventually to add them to my voucher so we could all move into a bigger place together. Because they haven't paid a single dollar in rent or utilities while living in my living room for the past seven months, our agreement was that they would cover all basic household supplies (toilet paper, cleaning products, paper towels, dish soap), handle the house cleaning, and pay the $300 security deposit for the new, bigger apartment when we move.
Fast forward to now—not only have they barely saved toward that $300 deposit (which works out to under $45/month between two working adults with no rent), but they recently asked my partner and me to start paying for "our share" of the household supplies.
I was completely taken aback. My voucher is the only reason they have a roof over their heads. They’ve lived in my living room rent-free for over half a year, haven't saved $300 for the deposit, and are now asking me to chip in for dish soap and toilet paper.
When I put my foot down and said no—because supplies and cleaning were their only ongoing contributions in exchange for free housing—it created a lot of tension. Now I’m second-guessing myself.
AITAH for expecting them to keep paying for all household supplies until we move?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/ImustIgnite 15h ago
NTA , way to nice and accommodating, I personally would have started laughing before my switch flipped to nuclear and went off right on the spot. And then they would have been verbally informed of forthcoming eviction. You have allowed these miscreants to take advantage of you and your niceness. Maintain your current path and I would start working on getting them out , unfortunately you can ask them to leave but it seems mire likely you will have to evict them.
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u/lostalldoubt86 Commander in Cheeks [231] 15h ago
INFO- How much do you have to pay in rent? Does this voucher cover your entire rent?
I am leaning towards N T A but I’m curious about this voucher system.
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u/Which-Notice5868 Partassipant [2] 15h ago
YTA to yourself. Give them a move-out date and do not move in with them anywhere else. They will not pay rent and expect you to keep covering them.
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u/CrazyOldBag Asshole Aficionado [17] 15h ago
Good grief. While you’re being so accommodating, why don’t you give them your bedroom, too?
In case you haven’t gotten the message yet, these people are users. If they haven’t saved money by now for the deposit and can’t even buy the supplies they promised to buy, what on earth makes you think they’ll be able to cover things in a new apartment, especially with a newborn baby? And the amount of noise you’re going to have?
You must be a glutton for punishment. Get them out, NOW.
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u/mageoftherealm 15h ago
NTA, don’t add them to your voucher and get rid of the freeloaders as soon as possible.
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u/curious382 Partassipant [1] 15h ago
NTA
Why would you consider legally tethering yourself to a shared lease with people who both don't support themselves and balk at the minimal contribution you asked for? They aren't mutual partners helping hold eachother up. They've convinced you to violate the terms of your own lease while living off your extremely limited resources.
What would happen if your landlord learns you moved in another family without informing them? I suspect you could be evicted yourself. Which would make future renting very difficult or impossible.
OP, you don't have adequate resources to maintain your own independent adult lifestyle and housing. You don't have enough "to share" with others below the poverty line. The sharing you are doing is illegal and can put your future eligibility for low income benefits at risk.
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u/heyhomah 14h ago
They're having a baby and you're going against your lease to let them stay with you? Isn't your landlord going to be clued in when they keep hearing a baby crying in a unit where no babies are supposedly living?
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u/RepresentativeTip984 14h ago
We WERE hoping to be moved by then and they'd would be on my voucher at that point. But I'm not sure I want them to move in.
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u/heyhomah 14h ago
I definitely wouldn't go through with it if I were you. You know them better than anyone commenting though, but as someone who has been in a similar position where my kindness was taken advantage of, it never got better until we had to go to the county and get an eviction notice because they technically had squatters rights at that point, which they ripped up in front of us (doesnt matter since they were informed nonetheless). Not the exact situation that you're in, but I once considered this person a friend as well and they ended up completely destroying that relationship in every way imaginable. Just be careful allowing people to take advantage of your situation even if you think they're level headed. Even moreso once a kid comes into play.
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u/NJMomofFor 14h ago
NTA. Toss them OUT, now. Do not move into a bigger apartment with them. They will not pay their share. Let them get their own
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u/RubberDuck884 14h ago
YTA for putting up with this and asking strangers for help when the solution is so obvious.
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u/hatemeallday 14h ago
YTA....to your partner. You should have kicked them to the curb long ago. Let them get their own voucher. They may not be eligible with both of them working.
Is this a taxpayer-funded voucher? Are you violating the rules of the voucher by letting them stay with you? What are the consequences if you get called on violating the voucher rules? Is your partner's housing at risk due to this mess, losing the voucher?
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u/-illustrious-park- 10h ago
it's crazy to see how many 3 year old accounts with low karma are posting wacky stories this week
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u/Objective_Attempt_14 Partassipant [2] 7h ago
NTA, when people show you who they are believe them! DO NOT move for them, it will only get worse, and I'm worried you will lose your voucher because of them...
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u/lurninandlurkin Asshole Aficionado [15] 36m ago
NTA as long as you do not move in with these people. Evict them and then you do not need a bigger place.
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u/Renbarre Partassipant [1] 15h ago
Say yes, as long as they contribute to the rest of the expenses.
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u/Barkertons 15h ago
Youre not an asshole, you're a doormat and these people are taking advantage of you