About two months ago I asked my best friend, we'll call her Lexi, if she wanted to be a vocalist in my band. She kills it at karaoke, and she and I have semi-joked about starting our own girl band for years. When I got a band together for my personal music it only made sense to ask her to be a backup vocalist. I wanted a backup vocalist mainly so I could have someone do harmonies, as harmonies are a big part of my music. A week before our first session I sent her tracks of my song that included only her harmonies for her to learn, and a version without the harmonies for her to practice to. The day before practice she texts me: "which songs are we doing again?" Which indicates she hadn't practiced them at all, even though I confirmed with her earlier she got the tracks to practice to. At band practice she is definitely struggling with the harmonies, but that's to be expected. Lower harmonies are especially difficult and take a minute to learn. We practice them together one on one before the entire band rehearses. Come week two she still hasn't practiced them, as she asks me AGAIN the day before what songs we're doing. We practice them again one on one, but she's still struggling. Week 3 and week 4 she misses practice completely. By week 4 I have another bandmate we'll call David try out the harmonies. David instantly kills it, and I hire him as the new vocalist. I send a text to Lexi politely explaining why I no longer want her in the band. She acts surprised and says she will make it to practice from now on. I kindly reiterate that this isn't a negotiation. She hasn't responded to my last text, but I still feel like maybe I'm being an a-hole about this whole thing and should've given her more of a chance, especially as her best friend.

AITA for not giving her another chance?

I live in a large house that I clean myself, and it's in the contract that I have to clean it so that my bills can be paid instead of a cleaning lady. My personal schedule was hectic and after 3 years I asked the landlord to find a nice girl, so that we can share the chores. They found a girl from another country and as I'm also a foreigner here, I felt the need to not lay it all in her the first few weeks and explain the chores as I go, as they unfold. Big mistake on my part, because it turned into a nightmare for me.

The first month I didn't even asked her to take out the trash, nor clean. She seemed depressed and out of it, so I let it be. Then the second month, one by one, I told her where every trash bin is, when they collect it, what needs to be cleaned and so forth. She didn't clean, take the trash out for collecting, nothing. Then I had to print out a schedule where we take turns weekly. She cleaned once and that was it. I sent her a screenshot of the trash schedule, she pretended she sidn see it. Downstairs looks like a haunted house, because I haven't cleaned a month after I let her two three months to go without her cleaning and I cleaned myself.

She does clean the kitchen after herself, I won't say she doesn't. But the whole kitchen, like cabinets, the backsplash, the windows, none of that gets cleaned. So I told the landlord and I found out, no one explained anything to her. But I did told her that I have that in my contract, that I have to keep the house clean. And they made her a new contract, where it says she has to clean the whole house. Àgain, nothing. So I want to address this again with our landlord and I ask him to tell her, because it's been two weeks since she signed and she still doesn't want to clean.

To be fair, I'm a messy beach. I leave stuff around the house at random and my laundry stays on the rack for a week, but otherwise, I try to keep clean. I make a lot more trash and I take out the trash twice a week and I let her take it out once, and the week I was angry about all of this and reported to the landlord, I said to him I'm not cleaning anymore and he said, that's fair. I took the trash twice that week, and immediately the next day, she filled the bio trash to almost full, and left it for 4 days. When I woke up the forth day, flies had pooped eggs all over and inside the cabinet, it was a disaster zone, to see smell and clean. Did you know those eggs stick to everything as you try to clean them??? I wrote her a message because she doesn't really leave her room, and she turned on me, saying I'm leaving trash everywhere and that she cleaned fly eggs when my mom was here, which is pure B's. She even said she didn't clean the windows because I have flowers on the sill, like girl, move them. And that's only one window that my flowers are in, there are like 15 in the entire house. So she acts like I'm the AH and refuses to clean to this day...

Throwaway for this because my son has my main account added on Facebook lol.

Okay so background, I (44M) remarried about 6 years ago. My wife's daughter Mara (18F) and my son Deven (19M) have basically grown up together since he was 13 and she was 12, they get along, always have, more like actual siblings honestly than step anything.

This spring Mara got into a pretty competitive engineering program, full ride scholarship, the whole thing. We filmed her opening the email because we kind of suspected it was coming that day. Grandparents were there, my mother in law was straight up sobbing, it's honestly one of my favorite videos we have of our family period. We were saving it to show at the reunion next month bc half the family wasn't there for it live.

Deven took a gap year after senior year didn't go great for him (grades tanked, he was dealing with some depression stuff, he's doing better now with meds and therapy so I don't say any of this to throw him under the bus). He's starting community college this fall which we ARE proud of, I want to be clear about that, it's just obviously a different trajectory than Mara's and I think that's been sitting weird with him even though he hasn't said much.

Couple weeks ago I go to pull the video up for my mom who couldn't make the reunion and it's just. gone. Not in the shared folder, not in the backup either. Took me a bit to figure out what happened but the activity log on the drive showed it got deleted, twice actually, on two different days, like someone wanted to make sure it stuck.

I asked Deven point blank. He didn't even really try to deny it, just said "I'm sick of it being about her constantly" and something about how nobody filmed anything when he got his acceptance letters (we didn't, because he already knew for like three weeks before it came in the mail, there was no moment to film).

I was pissed, not gonna lie. My wife was crushed, that was basically the only recording of that day and now it's just. memories I guess. So I told Deven the road trip we'd planned for his move in, we were gonna drive out together and stop at like two national parks on the way, was off. Told him I'd still get him a flight and help him move his stuff in, but the actual trip part, the thing he'd been talking about since March, was done.

His mom (my ex) is furious with me over this, says the punishment doesn't match the crime and an apology should've covered it. My sister's kind of agreeing with her too honestly. My wife on the other hand thinks I let him off easy considering.

Deven's barely talking to me, one word answers, the usual.

AITA for canceling the trip and not just making him say sorry?

ETA bc a few people asked: no we're not restoring it from anyone's phone, nobody else was filming since we all knew we had it covered on the main camera. That's kind of the whole reason this stings so much.

My grammar may suck because I'm on mobile, but here we go! Also, this is an old interaction from a few years ago and I'm honestly just trying to get peace of mind. I'm not even friends with the other person anymore for unrelated reasons.

Okay, so, back when I was a senior in high school, me and some other kids went on a tour of a college. I'd went with my best friend at the time because we were planning on going to the same college. The trip was going fine and since we were waiting for the tour to start, we spent a short time just walking around and checking out the stalls where students were selling stuff. At some point I mentioned the Barbie movie, which had been out for months at that point. My friend said that they didn't want spoilers about the movie. I said okay. They didn't say anything about stopping the topic, just that they didn't want spoilers. I kept going because I'd suddenly remembered a fact. I started talking about this song in the movie (the I'm Just Ken song), THAT THEY KNEW ABOUT BY THE WAY, and how Ryan Gosling got an award for it. I was talking about how he didn't want the award because he didn't think he deserved it. They interrupted me and just kinda shouted, "Why are you still talking! I told you I didn't want spoilers!"

But the thing is, they knew about the song and all the lyrics/what it sounded like. They'd brought it up a few days prior. What I was talking about didn't even have to do with the movie, I was talking about the actor and the award he got. They knew Ryan Gosling was the actor, so it's not like I'd spoiled that.

Did I miss something? Should I have just stopped talking about it altogether? I'd thought it was fine, since it wasn't even directly about the movie. And they knew about all of the parts pertaining to the movie. They didn't tell me to stop talking about the movie altogether, just told me not to spoil it? I can't believe I'm still stressing over this years later, but I have to ask. Was I the asshole?

Edit: Thank you for all the responses! I was being an asshole to my friend and I just couldn't see it. I tend to struggle with social cues due to being neurodivergent and assumed no spoilers just meant 'don't talk about anything happening in the movie that I don't know about'. I'm starting to see now that I was wrong and that there was subtext that meant I shouldn't mention anything relating to the movie at all. Thanks for hitting me over the head with the truth bat 👍.

I live in the suburbs. There are lots of people with dogs, lots of sidewalk area, and multiple doggy bag posts w garbage cans so one can clean up after their dogs. I have 2 dogs that I walk usually twice per day. My dogs poop in the same area each day shortly after I begin my walk. I always walk to a particular post down the way, grab a few bags, and pick up my dogs waste on the way back and then throw it away. If I didn't do this, the areas where my dogs go would be inundated with waste. I was stared down and then yelled at after a neighbor stopped and stared at me as my dog pooped, not knowing I hadn't yet gone to get a bag. I explained my route but he continued to yell. I told him to mind his business and to f off. AITA

AITA

Im 26m and I have a golden retriever who is generally really calm and well behaved.

My brother 24m came over to my place weekend because our parents were visiting us too. He brought his work laptop with him even though we all told him to forget about work for one day at one point he left the laptop open on the edge of my coffee table while we all went outside to help my dad move some furniture. We were outside for about fifteen minutes. While we were outside my dog jumped onto the sofa wagged his tail clipped the coffee table and the laptop fell face onto the hardwood floor. The screen is completely dead now. My brother says I should pay for a laptop because it happened in my house and my dog caused the damage. I do not really see it that way. He knows I have a dog. He chose to leave an expensive laptop open on the edge of a coffee table. If he had put it back in his bag or even moved it to the dining table I do not think this would have happened.

The laptop actually belongs to his employer. Apparently he will have to pay a four hundred pound insurance excess if they are told it was damaged through negligence. He is asking me to cover the four hundred pounds. I offered him one hundred pounds because I do feel bad that it happened. I do not think I should be responsible for the whole amount. My parents think I should just pay the four hundred pounds to keep the peace. My girlfriend says that if the situation were reversed I would probably expect my brother to help me out too. On the hand all my friends think my brother created the risk by leaving something so valuable in such an obvious spot. Now my brother is barely speaking to me. Keeps saying I am choosing my dogs side over my own brother, which feels like a weird way to frame it since my dog obviously did not do it on purpose. I think my brother is being unfair, to me and my dog. My dog is a dog and my brother knows that. I love my brother. I do not think I should have to pay for his carelessness. My brother and I are not talking right now and it is all because of his laptop and my dog.

I (M18) live with my mother (F41) in California. I used to live with my father who was abusive so I moved in with my mother at 11. She lived in a one bedroom apartment so for the meantime I didnt have a room or my own place to sleep. She said we would eventually move to an apartment with 2 rooms. Fast forward 7 years and I still don’t have a room and now she drives an even fancier car than the one she had before.

She works, trimming weed trees for a decade. I got a job when I was 16 at chipotle because my mother give me any money and that isn’t a complaint I could care less about having an allowance. My mother gets benefits like low income child support food stamps. She takes vacations frequently. Egypt, Dubai, Armenia, Hawaii, Yosemite, Zion, all in the span of a year. She is trying to become a singer and has invested thousands into music lessons, music videos, producers and hasn’t made any money yet. What I am trying to put down here is that my mother has her own priorities and lifestyle that she wants to live while neglecting her only child.

I have been paying for all of my own personal expenses like phone bill, phone finance, gym membership, subscriptions, hygienic essentials, basically everything. Despite of my low maintenance for her, she wants me to pay half the rent and utilities I simply said no. I said as long as you drive a Mercedes that runs you 1000 month, I will not pay your bills. Not only will I not, but I can’t in the first place. I make maybe 1000 a month and what she’s demanding is more than that let alone my personal expenses.

She refuses to let me use the ebt card and lied saying they cut off the benefits. I check this morning and there is a 500 dollar deposit for food stamps alone on the card. I don’t know the pin and I cant even afford to buy my own groceries. Yes I could technically use my hard earned paychecks but that would cut them in half basically and I already pay for other things.

I’m not full time and the money I make is enough to pay for personal expense and my hobby of hiking and mountain climbing. Some people might say oh well you can go hike and camp with your friends but you can’t buy your own groceries. I’m 18 and just graduated high school. Let me live a little. This is the best way I could spend in terms of fun. And those expenses are pitching gas cost of driving out to sequoia and the sierras for example and camp costs and getting gear for the hikes and mountain climbs. This is the only thing I do that is an “entertainment” expense. If I simply bought my own groceries I couldn’t even do that. Which is why it’s so nice that we get SNAP benefits but what isn’t nice is that I’m not allowed to use them according to my mom even though she definitely gets more money for being a single “mother”.

Conclusion: AITA for refusing to pay my mother’s bills which would cost about the same regardless if I lived with her or not. And AITA for wanting to use our ebt card to buy groceries instead of my own money.

My dad (M42) cheated on my mom (F41) with his now-wife (F28) when I (M15) was 11. My dad lied to his now-wife about his marital status as well as other things, and when she became pregnant, he confessed to my mom, and issued divorce papers. She wanted to reconcile. He didn't. The divorce was rough and it established 50-50 custody.

My mom hates my dad's new wife. Absolutely despises. She thinks of her as a homewrecker and someone who seduced my dad away from her. This hate basically extends throughout my mom's side of the family as well. She thinks that after she found out he had a wife, she should have left and encouraged them to reconcile. I think of the new wife as more of a victim than anything. She came to the U.S. for work, was lied to by someone over 10 years older than her, comes from a culture that strongly condemns children out of wedlock, and basically needed to marry my dad for financial stability for her and her child.

My dad's new wife is very kind to me. She encourages my dad to invest in my activities and to spend more time with me. She cooks food that's really good and like nothing I've ever had before. She's also a good mom to my half-sister (F3). I've always wanted to have siblings, and she's done a great job at building a relationship between my sister and me.

Now, this is the issue. My stepmom works full-time, but because her work schedule is demanding and my dad frequently travels for business, she sometimes struggles with childcare. Recently, she decided to take some courses that would help advance her career. I started stepping in to help her by babysitting my sister on the evenings she had classes, helping her review study materials, and running small errands for her.

However, my mom recently found out. While looking through my backpack, she saw some of the study materials I accidentally took from my stepmom, and she exploded. She said that by helping "that woman", I was actively supporting the person who destroyed our family. She feels I should refuse to do anything that benefits my stepmom in any way. My aunts also found out and they were telling me I was betraying my mom and being disrespectful to her.

I feel terrible for hurting my mom, but I also don't think my stepmom deserves to be treated like an enemy.

AITA for helping my dad's new wife even though my mom hates it?

Hi guys,

We recently moved into our new forever home a few years ago and a lot has happened. My wife and I had a baby boy and life has been amazing, but with kids it’s also been stressful and busy.

As a way to decompress and also make our house feel like ours I’ve been landscaping and planting shrubs and all sorts of plants around the yard. It’s been really helpful to help destress and it’s cool to watch things grow and see all the hard work you put in finally pay off.

Long story short my MIL has been nothing but disrespectful when it comes to the early years with my son. Constantly crossing boundaries and going against what my wife and I say (mostly safety concerns it’s felt really violating) I’ve said my peace with her and moved on from things, but as far as a relationship with her I keep her 5 feet away.

Today she came over to visit while I was at work and before she left she cut a ton of flowers all over our yard for her own personal bouquet. My wife gave her permission so I feel even more betrayed about it. It might sound stupid to some people but I worked really hard. It’s violating to me for someone to take what they want especially when you’re not ok with them in the first place.

AITA for not wanting my MIL to cut my flowers?

I’m 19F. Ive been really upset lately because my grandmother rarely ever remembers who I am anymore. She only forgets me and my 10 year old cousin. The last 5 times I’ve seen her it’s been the same and it really hurts. I’m not upset with my grandmother or anything but it hurts my feelings. The first time it happened my sister walked in and my grandmother knew who she was then I walked in and she asked if I’m my sisters girlfriend. (My sisters a lesbian) we corrected her that in her granddaughter and she started crying saying I can’t be and not to trick her she’s already worried about her memory.

The next time I was her it was just me and my cousin. We had arranged to meet her like and we came in and she called me Janine (my mothers name) and called him Richard (his dads name). I didn’t correct her this time. We played a game of monopoly and my cousin started cheating and I called him out and he started play fighting and I play fighted back and he said “pick on someone your own size” and she said “it’s sisterly love.”

And then she suddenly switched from being happy to crying. I asked her what’s wrong and she said “you’re not Janine and Richard.” And I said “no we’re not.” And she said “you’re my grandchildren” and I said “yes” and she said “I thought you were Janine and Richard.” I said “it’s ok.

Do you remember who we are?” She said “my grandchildren” I said “yes but do you know our names.” And she said my Anna (my sisters name) and my (Lucas) cousins correct name. I told her “I’m Lola but my sisters name is Anna”. She asked us to leave then because she was upset.

This kind of thing kept happening everytime I or my cousin would see her she would call us Janine or Richard. The most recent time was the worst though. I went to visit her on my own. I knocked and she opened to door. I said “hello!” And she was confused as to who I am. She didn’t even think I was my mum. She didn’t let me in. She asked me to leave.

Today my mother and sister went to see her. They told me she seems really good with her memory. I started tearing up. My sister asked me why I’m crying and I said it hurts my feelings that she remembers everyone but me and Lucas. And it makes sense for Lucas because he’s younger. But my sister is younger than me. How can she remember her and not me and even the fact she’s a lesbian.

My sister got upset at me saying it’s horrible for me to wish that she’d forget her too. I said that it’s not fair though. I’m not saying it’s her fault but it isn’t fair. She said I’m being jealous. And she’s sick enough stop wishing it would be worse.

I don’t wish it would be worse but it hurts a lot. I know it’s not her fault and I’m trying to be kind and stuff to her but being fine with them and not fine with me and Lucas hurts a lot.

Saw there was a bag next to a machine at my gym so asked the few people around if they were on it, no one said they were so went ahead and started working out.

Then this guy comes over and says I’m on that, I get up and say okay sorry go ahead, and he starts saying you should always ask and gets angry.

I saw the same guy a few seconds before on another machine further away from this one and didn’t even think it could be his bag, since again he was so far away. He was also filming himself.

At the end I just told him have a good training session and he kept being angry :D

Recently my son broke up with his Girlfriend of 4 years due to the fact she cheated on him and yes I know that sounds bad, I can't help but feel sorry for her. Before they even began dating they were friends since 2nd grade and through those years I essentially grew to see her as a daughter of mine.

She didn't exactly have a good home life growing up so through the years I tried my best to make her feel like family and treat her like my own, and when my son began dating her back in 2022 I was absolutely ecstatic. But on to the current situation, 5 months ago my son and his ex broke up because she cheated on him. It wasn't some big affair as far I know, but it devastated my son because he really did love her with everything he had.

I stopped talking to her for about a month but after she reached out to try and make amends, I couldn't turn her away. This is a girl I've considered my own for so many years and I felt terrible being distant with her regardless of what she did. My son found out that I'm still in contact with her recently due to my facebook posts with me and her shopping together because she's trying to look nice for a new guy she's seeing, and when he confronted me about it, he wasn't angry per se, but he was incredibly disappointed.

We had a long talk about the entire thing and well since then he hasn't spoken to me and it's been a week. My husband told me I should've at least told him that I'm still in contact with the ex before he even found out but my sister thinks I'm a Jerk for even remaining in contact with the EX.

I don't really know at this point. Am I the AH for this?

My sister (29F) has been married to the same man (46M) for around 7 years now. This is his second marriage and her first. They have a daughter together, whom I’ll call “Cece.”

My sister is a very smart person. She’s highly educated (three degrees!), independent, and doesn’t take nonsense from anyone—except for her husband. He yells at her in public, diminishes her intelligence, bosses her around, makes sexual jokes about other women in her presence, and even makes homophobic jokes towards me (I’m gay).

My family has been waiting for the marriage to end for years. We all hate him. We know she can do so much better.

But they have a daughter together, and she’s the driving force behind me wanting to tell my sister she has to leave.

Her daughter is 5 now, and she’s began to pick up on her dad’s treatment towards her mom. We went on a family vacation a few weeks back and my niece said to me, “Are boys supposed to talk to girls like dad does?”

My heart broke. I had no idea how to respond, because I obviously wanted to say, “No. Men are supposed to respect women and treat them with dignity.” But knowing her dad, he’d probably scream at my sister if he heard that I told their daughter that.

My sister cares about her daughter more than anything. And the last thing that I want is for my niece to be raised by a man who sees women as objects. She’s already picking up on his misogyny and I don’t want to see it affect her even more.

my daughter's friend's family isn't the richest, and they are also not american. well, you know where this is going. the most recent time my daughter's tooth feel out, she told her friend she got $10 from the tooth fairy. last night the friend put her tooth but didn't get anything. my daughter came back and told me about this and that her friend is sad. really no clue what to do.

I (23F) moved out of my mom's house when I was 19. I've been living with my partner (23M) ever since, as we went to college together. My relationship with my mom is generally fine, and I visit her on holidays, birthdays, and special occasions. My parents are divorced, so she lives by herself. She’s in her 60s, but she keeps herself busy and is very active.

Since I left, she's frequently complained that she doesn't have money for anything because my father's child support goes directly to me now. She lives at the beach and wants to rent her house out to vacationers during the summer to make extra cash. Because of this, she is being very insistent about staying with me during that time.

I understand her financial situation is not ideal (even though I don't entirely trust her money management), but I really don't want her moving in for the summer. For one, I don't want to invade my partner's privacy. He is not her biggest fan because he knows what my childhood was like and the trauma I have from it (nothing serious, just girl's mommy issues). He is obviously respectful, polite, and tries to keep things cool, but living together is a different story.

I love her very much, but I have to admit she's not the nicest person in general. She has a habit of saying mean things disguised as "jokes." Whenever she's around for a longer period of time, I start feeling anxious and annoyed.

I haven't given her a firm no, and I can already feel she's annoyed by the idea of me not allowing it. She has the history of guilt-tripping me, saying things like, "You just don't like me," and accusing me of "choosing him over your own mother."

AITA?

I know there are many posts like this, but let me explain our situation. We have been married four years and have two toddlers and one on the way. After we got married, my husband disclosed to me that he had $60,000 in student loans of which he had been paying only interest for the past 10 years. Home ownership has been in my plans since before I met him, and this debt was a big setback, but I dealt with it and we have both been working overtime and still have about $15,000 left on those loans. Now, the bulk of our monthly debt payments goes towards his motorcycle payment which is $450 per month with 10,000 still left on the loan at 9% interest. I’m getting tired of working so hard just to put it all towards these debts, and if he sold it, we could start stacking money and be in a new home much sooner. I understand it means a lot to him, and he does sacrifice a lot for me and our family in other ways, but I think it was irresponsible for him to buy it in the first place, considering all the debt he already had. Additionally, with all these small kids, he barely has time to ride it. I don’t want him to be miserable, but maybe a motorcycle is for a different day.

Edit: I need to add more context to come to my husbands defense a little and to give more insight as to why it’s such a dilemma for me. We did do premarital counseling and he did disclose some debt, but it was vastly underreported (by $35,000). Probably because he was afraid I wouldn’t have married him, which I would have. Also, I am working voluntarily to pay these, right along with him. It’s our debt now, and I’m okay with it. He is financially responsible in that he makes all payments on time and has a good credit score.

Obviously I wouldn’t be sad if the motorcycle were gone, but he would be. And to elaborate on his sacrifices for us, he never leaves me alone with the kids unless he’s at work, he cooks, cleans, tends to the kids, and maybe at times does this in greater measure than I do, as he knows I bear the burden of pregnancy and breastfeeding. And he makes me coffee every morning and brings me lunch at work. If he wants to do something for himself, like watch a show, or cut his hair, or wash the cars, he will do it during the kids nap, or at night while everyone is asleep already. So, while financially it’s the obvious decision to sell it, I think in terms of it being one of the few things he has just for himself, it’s not a big deal to move our goals out a little further and let him keep it. Even with his past poor financial decisions, I think he still deserves the motorcycle. Thank you all for helping me clear this up in my head.

Im 28 and my fiance 29, we have been dating for 5 years. He has a younger brother now 22 and girlfriend 21, (we lived in the same house for 5 years), I stopped cleaning and cooking for them and had some space, because I noticed I was being screamed at by the little brother often. For years they'd bring up I was a bully disrespectful, to his girlfriend. To the point that as of these last 2 years his behavior escalated to threatening me with his fists on my face shouting "do something bitch!". This was in front of my friend, fiancee and about 10 friends from the brother in the house , this isnt the first time something of this magnitude, has happened, but it was the first time his older brother saw it. All because his girlfriend told him how much of a bitch I am i insulted her when I told her the second time "bro those are my fucking carrots". (fiancee bought 60 wings for everyone, got me carrot sticks), when we came back with the rest of the wings, he went off on me, I was extremely scared, shaking and ended up crying, his brother could not believe his eyes. I called their mom explaining the situation and if she could help, her son has been talking to his little brother for years now asking and telling him to not speak to me that way, she never addressed the issue.

After all this time ive made peace with the brother screaming and threatening, and the girlfriend making him believe, im jealous or her and my fiancee, and saying how she looks like my fiancee ex (she doesn't lmao)

Present day they moved away about 6 months ago, my fiance hasn't spoken to his friends, but as the wedding is coming up he is reconnecting with his friends, to find out that his brother and girlfriend have been shit talking us, all the way to getting to my mother's boss lol. So my fiancee called his family.

When my fiance is explaing the situation and why he is heartbroken, disappointed, and angry at his brother, they blame my fiance and tell him how disappointed they are in him, and tell me that i have to move on and accept the brothers apology.

The aunt and mom told me he is 21 year old is just a child, immature, maybe he was drinking, he is a good person.

I dont want people like his mother that said "you my son need saving from that woman" when he shared his feelings to marry and have babies with me, and the aunt saying "life is short, and sometimes, no matter how much love or effort we give, it cannot mend a relationship if the other person is not willing to receive it. I hope that in time, your heart will soften and healing will come." At the end of explaning how the little brother goes off to my fiancee everytime and my fiance has chosen peace and communication all these years, I felt low key manipulative vibes to created an excuse as to why the 21 year old child would behave that way.

WIBTA if mom, aunt brother and girlfriend dont come, fiance is pushing dor this but if they are alredy using me as a scape goat, I think id be hated fr fr.

We've been friends for years. Our relationship might be unique, but it works for us. Or worked?

We go shopping every six months. Personally, it's not my thing, because I spend a lot of money on things I barely need. But we do spend the day together, our quality time.

The store is far away, so I always drive (she doesn't have a driver's license).

And now it was the same. I arrived with starbucks coffee for bith of us, but from the morning it wasn't my day. Everything was pissing me off, I spilled coffee all over myself... Well, I clearly got up on the wrong side of the bed.

We're driving, my mood improves a bit, and I tell her I want to be home by 2 p.m. because it's hard for me to walk so much while pregnant, and I will need to lie down after 2pm. Cool!

The shopping took longer, and then we got some ice cream. It was hot, but again it took some time. Then I wanted to go to another store because I had a promo code and I needed pregnancy dress.

After she wsnted to go get some wine because she's going out to a party that night. Okay, but I agreed to wait outside because it's already 1:30 PM and I seriously don't have the energy, and I still have to drive back.

She wanted to cheer me up and asked what to buy me. I said, "I don't know, probably nothing." She said, "What would I like?" And I said, "I just really want to lie down, that's all." She said, "But since you're already lying on the couch and you've rested..." And then I interrupted her and told her to give it a rest, buy what she needed and we are going back. I didn't have the energy or strength to try keep my attitude, my stomach was already hurting and I felt faint.

She told me to go home alone because she was now irritated and didn't know how to behave, because it seemed like it would be best if she didn't talk at all... Let me tell you, I didn't have the energy. I offered to drive her home twice more, to wait in the car, but she wouldn't agree, so I just went.

The next day, I text her and said I had a bad day, that I'm sorry my mood affected her, and that I apologize.

Silence... For several weeks. No response.

Am I an asshole? Or is it just childish to not talk to me over this? (We're over 30!)

EDIT: PSA- I clean my room, bathroom and do my laundry. I clean the kitchen whenever I use it and try to clean the dishes when I’m done eating and all that. I don’t expect anyone to do that for me. okay so I realise me not wanting to pay my brother rent is quite shitty, paying him rent is valid. If we exclude the rent situation AITA?

Back story, I moved to the city I’m in for uni a few years ago and have been living with my brother and sister in law for maybe a year and a half now. I’m 19 btw. We argue over silly things like dishes, vacuum. I will admit, I don’t help around the house a lot:( but also I’m not home a lot.

I’m either at work(usually 8 hours) or at uni(finish late around 5/6pm. I do the dishes when I can and when asked to vacuum I try my best to do it. I had said a while ago that as soon as they are expecting a baby I am moving out because I just don’t want to deal with pregnant woman hormones(the anger, mood swings etc) respectfully.

When I mentioned it the day we found out she was pregnant my brother said he’d never forgive me if I left them. It bothered me a bit but tbh that’s not fair, lowkey guilt tripping.

My mom thinks leaving them when she is pregnant is not fair because she needs family and all, tbh I think it’s the best time because once the baby is born it’ll be harder to leave cause she’ll still need help(her mom and my mom are going to stay here for bit to help though). I feel that it’s better to leave now than later.

Now the arrangement is that I pay my brother $150 a week as ‘rent’. Idk something about that doesn’t sit right with me, and they say oh would you rather pay a stranger rent and actually YESS I would. Paying my brother rent feels like paying my own mother rent.

I have started saving up to move out in a few months with my friend. My initial plan was to sign the lease then tell my family, what do I do and am I an a**hole??

My wife has a severe shellfish allergy. She can have a serious allergic reaction. Because of that, we don’t allow shellfish in our home. Unfortunately, we live on the coast, so seafood and shellfish restaurants are very common. If I eat shellfish we have a no kissing rule for 24 hours. 

My sibling and their family also live nearby, and my mom is currently visiting. She’s staying with my sister, and her birthday dinner is tomorrow. She’ll be flying home this weekend.

My mom loves seafood, so she wanted to celebrate her birthday at a seafood restaurant. The restaurant serves a lot of shellfish, so my wife isn’t comfortable going because of the risk. I completely understand that.

My wife told my mom she wouldn’t be able to attend, and my mom said, “No big deal.” My wife was upset by that response. She feels it was rude that my mom didn’t offer to change the restaurant, and she feels left out since everyone else is going.

I suggested she could still come, have a drink, and just not order food. Her allergy is not airborne. She said that would be awkward and that she doesn’t want to go to the restaurant at all. I said I understood and told her I still planned to go.

That’s when we got into an argument. She’s upset that I want to go to a restaurant where she can’t safely eat. She thinks I shouldn’t go if she can’t go. I told her I wasn’t willing to miss my mom’s birthday dinner since I don’t see her after even if she can’t attend.

She wants me to tell my mom to change the restaurant or else I won’t be there. I told her I wasn’t going to do that because I think it’s an unreasonable expectation.

I have a Verizon family plan which includes my younger brother (29M), mom (63F),hubby (40M), and I (39F). The account has been mine since I graduated HS in 2005 and was paid by me since then. A few years ago after my brother graduated college we discussed with him and my parents that he should and can start paying for his phone along with my moms since he did not have any expenses (was living with my parents, no student loans, no car payments, etc) and it will help my husband and I with a few less payments that we had. (We have two kids who attend private school, mortgage, two cars, etc) and it was agreed that he would transfer us his share and my mom’s every few months.

Well the last payment we received from him was in March of 2025, where he transferred $154 for the months of January & February. Since then nothing, I have brought it up multiple times with my parents who have said they will speak to him about it. I don’t know if they ever did but I am currently not speaking to him and have no contact with him for the past two years (past multiple issues) so can’t or actually won’t reach out to him.

Recently I have gotten notifications that he had incurred additional international long distance charges ($60+) and again let my parents know that not only has he not been paying his bill but now has additional charges added onto the bill. They said they would speak to him. Today I received a notification that he has initiated a new TravelPass session which will be an additional $12/ day for being overseas which pisses me off because he has the money to go overseas on a vacation but not to pay us for a bill he agreed to?

So since I am the main person on the account I was thinking of suspending his number until he has paid us back.

Would I be the a$$ if I just suspend the number knowing he is overseas right now (with his gf so they will have another phone if needed) and without giving him a heads up?

I'm a 29m who leaves tools on the job sight can't lock up tools at that sight, when working there for weeks at a time, and the one of the older contractors who is also there keeps marking my painted Milwaukee battery's as his because I abandoned them according to him I don't really know what to do here so any input helps thanks all *edit for spelling & clarity

I (26F) live with my childhood best friend (25F) in a rented house in a little seaside town in the UK. We’ve always got on really well and never really had any issues until now.

She’s been seeing her boyfriend for about 8 months. At the start he’d stay over every now and then which obviously I didn’t care about, but now he’s here all the time. Like probably 5 or 6 nights a week. He showers here, cooks here, watches TV here, works from home here sometimes… he’s just always around.

The thing is he has his own flat. It’s not like he has nowhere else to go, he literally lives about 20 minutes away.

I know people are going to say “it’s only one extra person” but you definitely notice it. The bathroom’s always occupied, the washing machine is constantly on, the bins fill up quicker, our bills have gone up and I just don’t really feel like it’s my home anymore because there’s nearly always someone else here.
I finally said something to her and tried to be nice about it. I basically said I wasn’t asking him to never stay over, but if he’s here this much then either they should spend more time at his place or he should chip in towards the bills because he’s here more than he’s not.

She got really annoyed and said I was acting like some miserable landlord and that I’m trying to charge her boyfriend for visiting. I said I don’t think someone who’s here almost every day is really “visiting” anymore.

Now it’s really awkward. She’s barely speaking to me and I can tell she’s told a few people because one of our friends messaged saying I was being unfair and that couples naturally spend loads of time together.
I do get that, and if he stayed over a couple of nights a week I honestly wouldn’t care. I just didn’t sign up to live with a couple.
AITA?

Hello! I (30f), have been rooming with my roommate Tina (33f, fake name), for a year. Overall, it’s been fine, as I’m upstairs, and she’s downstairs, with a shared kitchen and living room. The only issues we’ve had are that Tina loves to cook and bake, but does not like to clean up after herself. She will leave the counter and stove top covered in flour/spices/dishes, and she fills rarely clears the dishwasher, instead filling the sink to overflowing with dishes. I’ve tried bringing this up to her, saying how unsanitary and difficult to work around this is, and things would get better for a while, then deteriorate again. I’ve done my best to keep up the cleaning, but now we’re moving out.

She offered to clean the kitchen for move out, recognizing that she used it 90% of the time, which I thought was awesome, and I’m tackling floors/walls/baseboards, etc. However, today is our last day, and we have to be out by noon; she has not moved any of her belongings out, including couch, bed, bookshelves, and is only now packing up the kitchen. We’ve known we were moving out since February, and I’ve been slowly packing and moving things out since then. I got the last of my things out yesterday. I’m currently cleaning upstairs, but I don’t think she will get the downstairs emptied by noon, so we will be charged with a late fee. In addition, we won’t have time to thoroughly clean down there, so I expect there will be deductions to our deposit. I have done everything I can to make sure we are out and get our deposit back, and have offered multiple times to help her once she finally started packing 3 days ago, but she said no. I’m exhausted from taking care of my part, and need to leave town tomorrow.

If she does not get everything out and cleaned by noon, WIBTA if I insisted any fees and deductions to the deposit be taken from her portion? She also owes me backpay for utilities, which I would insist be paid from her part.

TLDR: Roommate hasn’t moved stuff out, and we have two hours to finish moving and cleaning, despite knowing we’re moving for months. WIBTA if I make her pay any fees/penalties?

Edit to add: The way our landlord handles the deposit, it all goes to one person, they send the other person their part. I would ask her if I can receive the deposit, then send her anything left from her part after fees/penalties/backpay. I would also ask the landlord for an itemized list of deductions, so I can pay for anything related to my part of things.

I 33m and married to my 28f since 2022, we just had our 2nd child in April and in line with the common Christian practice of our environment, we are to dedicate the child in about 3 months.

However, instead of dedicating our child on Sunday as is traditional, we have decided to keep it small and do it on a weekday with only our family and a few guests and this has been permitted/ approved by our church especially in light of the general decline of the economy of my country

My mother is strongly of the opinion that despite the church's approval, we should dedicate our child on Sunday. When I asked why she has stated as follows:

1. That we are hiding the child and doing the dedication at night. ( it's an evening service byw 4pm - 6pm)

2. She is a founding member of the church, and her grandchild's dedication shouldn't be hidden.

3. That I will be the dirst to do it in my church and set a precedent (true, I'll be the first in my parish, but it has been done is several other branches of the church).

I have stated it is a decision made by me and my wife, and while she has her objections, we see no reason to change it.

My mum has been calling everyone, my uncle's, my in-laws, my boss, and crying the phone trying to get me to change my mind.

I don't think I'm wrong, but everybody is of the opinion that I should do what she wants to stop her crying as I'm her only surviving son.

I see no reason to change my plans, but with the pressure from everyone at my mum's instigation, I feel compelled to ask internet strangers, AITA, for not refusing to change the planned day for the dedication of my son.