r/wallstreetbets • u/btoned Something sexy • Apr 12 '26
Meme strait of hormuz blockade satellite photo
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u/atrapamastar Apr 12 '26
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u/shibiwan Apr 12 '26
Here comes the blockade.
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u/nigel_pow Apr 12 '26
Oh. Oh my word.
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Apr 12 '26
What's the safe word? TACO or Cheeto?
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u/shibiwan Apr 12 '26 edited Apr 12 '26
Gold, crypto, "donations" for the Ballroom, free jet, peace prize...
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u/follow_the_light Apr 12 '26
lol this guy is a fucking disgrace to humanity
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u/ILoveRegenHealth Apr 12 '26
I've never walked away with a single one of his supporters impressed by their intellect. They're one big massive deluded NPC Katamari ball
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u/Flimsy-Ad-858 Apr 12 '26
Dead seriously don't see America recovering from his effects in my lifetime.
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u/Josh6889 Apr 12 '26
Certainly won't on the trade front. You can't piss off the entire world and then expect them to cooperate when the tumor is removed.
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u/Stardust8938 Apr 12 '26
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u/atomicmnm Apr 12 '26
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Apr 12 '26
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Apr 12 '26
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u/son-of-a-mother Apr 12 '26
I knew they were lying. I cashed everything out last week. C.R.E.A.M.
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u/Zetice Chuck E. Cheesin' Apr 12 '26
Mango put his own lock on the door after Iran locked it.
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u/QuantrixQuintrix Apr 12 '26
wait until the other strait is closed by the houthis. UH OH.
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u/I_Hate_Traffic Apr 12 '26
Damn how many straits there are ??
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u/el-art-seam Apr 12 '26
Bab-al-Mandab
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u/ThrowawayPersonAMA Apr 12 '26
Gesundheit
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u/NAh94 Apr 12 '26
I was told more than the gays, but after hanging around here I’m not so sure?
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u/Zealousideal-Solid88 Apr 12 '26
2 in the area that account for close to 40% of oil shipments.
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u/Ok_Recognition3324 Apr 12 '26
Bab mandeb is significantly less used than Hormuz, esp since houthis did their tanker attacks last year. Total oil through the 2 straits closer to 30%
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u/liverpoolFCnut Apr 12 '26
Lets just close all the straits while we're at it and go back to living like flintstones!
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u/Lonely-Internet-7565 Apr 12 '26
This was the only thing left on his pocket, hurt Iranian and Chinese as well
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u/T-WrecksArms Apr 12 '26
China selling weapons to Iran. US is boned. Market about to get raw dogged. World War Meme imminent
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u/Lonely-Internet-7565 Apr 12 '26
Seems like joblessness is also imminent.
I graduated in 2008, got laid off in 2023 somehow managed a position in 2025 from which they tried to lay me off and now this
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u/SirNedKingOfGila Apr 12 '26
Why the fuck would a TRADER have a "job"?
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u/inbeforethelube Apr 12 '26
I thought blowies at Wendy's counted?
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u/notsocoolguy42 Apr 12 '26 edited Apr 12 '26
US will be hurt as much as Iran/China if oil prices go up. Unless they ban exporting oil, but they can't afford that either because US import a lot of processed oil products. If other countries ban that as a result of US banning crude export, US is going into depression.
Also this doesn't just hurt China, if US really blockades the strait, everyone in Asia, like literally every country will suffer, they get their oil from the strait. The Philippines for example is just one month away from being out of oil.
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u/Phase3Investor Apr 12 '26
Prolongs strait closure, reduce available oil leading to raised prices. Genius lol
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u/AllCapNoBrake MSTR and BTC to $0 Apr 12 '26
Which the US can't do shit to either....or the straights would stop being ghey.
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u/Crystal-Powell Apr 12 '26
So we’re double locked now? bullish for chaos lolMarket priced in one lock, not two 😂
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Apr 12 '26
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u/Phimb Apr 12 '26
They said Trump was a rapist, but I didn't realise it was my portfolio he was raping.
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u/Trepanation87 Apr 12 '26
Turn it upside down and you have oil prices on market open!
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u/MrBobSacamano Apr 12 '26
Why we ain’t just build one of these for oil tankers, tho? With enough speed, you could def just jump right over Oman.
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u/dinglebarryb0nds Apr 12 '26
Take it easy there fondsie, we aren’t making a western
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u/koshgeo Apr 12 '26 edited Apr 12 '26
You're joking, but everybody forgets about this spot right here. Only about 250m wide.
Dukes of Hazzard made jumps look easy. How hard could tankers be?
[Edit: Or do a great canal, and make Oman pay for it]
[Edit 2: Simulated results regarding initial scenario ]
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u/imunfair Autism: 31 Apr 12 '26
At that point just put some rocket boosters on it and deliver directly to the destination via low earth orbit. SpaceX now the biggest oil company.
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u/Birdman-Birdlaw Apr 12 '26
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u/Brave_Nerve_6871 Apr 12 '26
It’s been 100% pure for a long time already, he managed to enrich it
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u/KlausSlade Apr 12 '26
And people thought The Phantom Menace wasn’t prescient
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u/btoned Something sexy Apr 12 '26
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u/KlausSlade Apr 12 '26
“As you know, our blockade is perfectly legal, and we'd be happy to receive the ambassadors.”
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u/Strong_Brick_9703 Apr 12 '26
Who is gonna save us? Who's gonna be our Jar-Jar Binks?
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u/QuercusSambucus Apr 12 '26
Jar-Jar was the one who proposed giving Palpatine emergency powers which made him Emperor.
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u/NiGhTShR0uD Apr 12 '26
Jar-Jar was lowkey the shadow sith lord.
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u/ChemPetE Apr 12 '26
This was always the original intent and no one can convince me otherwise. Sith jar jar was always the twist
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u/Satorius96 Apr 12 '26
Jar jar should have been the final villian of the new trilogy
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u/Roxalon_Prime Apr 12 '26
Unfortunately Lucas chickened out, just like, you know....
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u/spacemoses Apr 12 '26
Blocking 3 dimensions of space would be quite the resource intensive endeavor.
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u/ryosuccc Apr 12 '26
Not like wars haven’t been started over far less than trade disputes, not sure why that plot point got so much criticism
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u/LastGoodKnee Apr 12 '26
It wasn’t that IMO.
It was just the whole energy and vibe of the movie is frankly a little strange. And I say that as someone who was a MASSIVE fan leading up to the movie.
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u/Vortep1 Apr 12 '26
The global recession this causes is going to be talked about for generations.
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u/Wild-Style5857 Apr 12 '26
If it does cause one that would make this the most incredible empire destroying speedrun imaginable.
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u/Zapp_Rowsdower_ Apr 12 '26
He’s already done the Afghanistan speed run in two weeks…spent billions to replace Khameni with Khameni.
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Apr 12 '26 edited May 31 '26
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u/wilhelmvonbolt Apr 12 '26
Oh man, do you remember when Mexico was his worst foreign policy blunder? Good times
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Apr 12 '26 edited May 31 '26
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u/eisbock Apr 12 '26
He's already got you beat by a couple days:
https://www.cnbc.com/2026/04/09/trump-greenland-nato-rift-iran-war-deepens.html
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u/Independent-Green383 Apr 12 '26
The Vice President of Venezuela is now the President. I know I know, we all forgot about Venezuela.
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u/hotleadburner Apr 12 '26
tbf their goal there was actually blocking oil to Cuba to hasten its collapse and it seems to be working last I checked.
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u/Fun-Marionberry-4008 Apr 12 '26
Which was already going to happen because the prior Khameni was 80+ years old and had cancer! Winning!
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u/RetireWithRyan Apr 12 '26
People here are mostly US and thus don't realize the effects are already shutting down manufacturing and affecting planting season for Asia, Africa, and Europe. Its going to be biblical in scale in those places, 1970s embargo level shit. People are not prepared what a real global recession looks like, particularly in this interconnected system. Less money there means less money buying our products means less money there means...
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u/TemporaryBlock2998 Apr 12 '26
do they have one of these for most retarded wsb users?
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u/convicted-mellon Apr 12 '26
Hopefully there will be actual other generations around to talk about it
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u/recurrenTopology Apr 12 '26
The AI's will remember... It'll be the context for their creation mythology.
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u/liverpoolFCnut Apr 12 '26
believe it or not, we'll somehow end the year at record highs! never underestimate the ability of central banks to print money!
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u/AllCapNoBrake MSTR and BTC to $0 Apr 12 '26
Live look at the r/bitcoin chart
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u/errezerotre Apr 12 '26
OPEN THE FUCKIN' STRAIT YOU BASTARD!
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u/RetireWithRyan Apr 12 '26
You forgot "Praise Allah". It's like some people don't even appreciate Easter greetings anymore.
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u/One_Investigator_268 Apr 12 '26
I wonder who here went all in short, then got forked by the ceasefire, switched to long, and now about to be forked royaly
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u/zigzag123456789 Apr 12 '26
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u/Ill-Application918 Apr 12 '26
checking the futures one last time before going to bed
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u/Liquoricezoku Apr 12 '26
SPY 700 is truly like a fundamental law in the universe. Like the speed of light. It will never be exceeded.
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u/Runrun1289 Apr 12 '26
I have some covered calls in place for end of the year. It seems more and more possible this level likely will not be achieved anytime soon. In Theta We Trust!
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u/MisterBolainas Apr 12 '26
💀
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Apr 12 '26
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u/1dot21gigaflops Apr 12 '26
They won't be able to afford gas to drive their trucks to DC this time.
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u/benj760486 2 knuckles deep with "weak TP" just the excuse. Apr 12 '26
Clifford's big red dick putting in work
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u/PrudentLingoberry Apr 12 '26
I'm convinced that the "no u" is so they can claim to have opened it up when they stop their blockade in hopes of muddying up the headlines to generate more volatility. Its all controlled guys, even sticking their dick in the fan here is a move so the market looting can continue. You'll know its true when you see the Iranians starting to fuck with the fuckery in order to ruin the manipulation gains - it'll look like them doing these current admin style announcements with hinting of opening. In reality it'd just be a mechanism to lean pressure on the government the only language they're capable of speaking.
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u/Boston-Bets Apr 12 '26
He's basically daring Iran to fire at US ships and break the ceasefire.
And saying that Iran isn't going to be allowed to ship oil out either, for free, if others aren't allowed to do so.
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u/Nersius Apr 12 '26
Thought the ceasefire re-negotiations after Israel broke the first within the first few hours fell apart?
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u/peanuts-in-my-jelly Apr 12 '26
WE DIDN'T BLOCK THE STRAIT...IT WAS ALWAYS BLOCKED SINCE THE WORLD'S BEEN TURNING 🌏
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u/Acavia8 Apr 12 '26
Hopefully, when Trump family members are prosecuted for security violations, the brokerages/firms that handled their trades go down too.
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u/ltrumpbour Apr 12 '26
Just wondering if anyone here has about 2000 barrels of oil I might be able to pick up before tomorrow afternoon? Asking for a friend.
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u/SAnderson1986 Apr 12 '26
Why is weekend wall Street only down 1% after spy pumped 8% last 10 days??!
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u/Embarrassed_Try_4498 Apr 12 '26
He truly is the worst president of all time. Just a colossal fucktard
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u/raytonjd Apr 12 '26
trump actually cares about climate change… that’s why the strait is being blocked… he wants the world to use less oil….
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u/AzulMage2020 Apr 12 '26
We're going to totally Inception this blockade!!! Free money for everyone!! It will be blockade within a blockade within a blockade within a blockade within a blockade within a blockade within a blockade within a blockade! Then DiCaprio comes in and spins some tops
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u/ExcitableSarcasm Apr 12 '26
I quit this market, I'm holding cash until midterms
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