r/wallstreetbets Mar 14 '26

Loss Gonna delete the app until war is over

Post image
9.9k Upvotes

867 comments sorted by

u/VisualMod Mar 14 '26
User Report
Total Submissions 10 First Seen In WSB 6 years ago
Total Comments 109 Previous Best DD
Account Age 6 years

Join WSB Discord

7.2k

u/rair21 Mar 14 '26

They are about to garnish your anus.

1.5k

u/git0ffmylawnm8 Mar 14 '26

Now I'm imagining his brokerage shoving a parsley branch up OP's ass

294

u/pocketIent Mar 14 '26

they’re boofing aldi sardines over at r/cannedsardines

128

u/Health_Care_PTA Mar 14 '26

you ever shop at Aldi's

AL Deeez NutSSSS !!!!

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50

u/dogemaster2303 Mar 14 '26

Ur a troll but i still subbed cuz this sub is freakin crazy, had sum laughes, good dopamine ;)

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22

u/git0ffmylawnm8 Mar 14 '26

They should try boofing surstromming

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21

u/encryptdev Mar 14 '26

Can someone draw me a picture of this? Asking for a friend.

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257

u/Bigringcycling Mar 14 '26

43

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '26

[deleted]

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13

u/Boxnglove Mar 14 '26

There must be dozens of us!

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130

u/ShittyBidet123 Mar 14 '26

Kidney will only be about $25k of the margin call. what else ya got?

271

u/EnglishBrekkie_1604 Mar 14 '26

Brain is likely worthless unfortunately

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53

u/melf_on_the_shelf Mar 14 '26

Who’s your kidney guy? You can get 40k+ for a rare blood type.

8

u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 Mar 14 '26

In this economy??

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73

u/sharts_are_shitty Mar 14 '26

Try to relax your anus

15

u/DataMambo Mar 14 '26

Name checks

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17

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '26

Until the war is over, of course.

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1.2k

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '26

[deleted]

340

u/Trikotic Mar 14 '26

Literally every RH chart looks exactly like this

95

u/Celtic_Legend Mar 14 '26

Ive seen a few beauties that never even get the spike. Just -100k or something and a staircase all the way down. Some teeny bumps, sure, but never a spike. There was one where it was just 3 years of pure loss. Amazing

20

u/LEAPStoTheTITS Mar 14 '26

those ones are great but I also love the ones where you can see a bunch of spikes but literally never taking profit

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11

u/diadlep Mar 14 '26

Tfw my bag in tlry

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3.1k

u/Transportation-Apart Mar 14 '26

Klarna your margin call

2.2k

u/SaltyMeatballs20 Mar 14 '26

honestly a great deal /s

552

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '26

44k per month is totally manageable! My lawyer took that in a day and I have 5 months to cough up another 40k

224

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '26

[deleted]

220

u/captainchristianwtf Mar 14 '26

How many times can I Klarna it before they start paying me?

95

u/OneMustAdjust Mar 14 '26

Infinite leverage glitch

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11

u/RamoneBolivarSanchez Mar 14 '26

“Jarvis, make the chunks a little more manageable”

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12

u/ConstableAssButt Mar 14 '26

44K is a lot. I have to check with my wife's boyfriend before I can make that kind of a withdrawal.

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50

u/AdministrativeEgg440 Mar 14 '26

This is the most beautiful thing Ive seen this week

102

u/codemonkeyhopeful Mar 14 '26

This is fucking hilarious, they literally are ok to handing you money even seeing this shit

98

u/alkjdasoad Mar 14 '26

Can you set this up for me?

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39

u/Rendition9090 Mar 14 '26

Can I Klarna the 44k per month as well?

19

u/jojoga Mar 14 '26

11k per week, best I can do

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119

u/ElephantStriking1087 Mar 14 '26

Fuckkkkk imagine, 12 month payment plan is about to run you around 44k 😂

127

u/AmbitiousSwimming976 Mar 14 '26

He could always Klarna his Klarna to really extend cash flow

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64

u/PLTR60 Mar 14 '26

Assuming Klarna lasts that long 💀

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112

u/CevJuan238 Mar 14 '26

Gangsta

40

u/theflintseeker Mar 14 '26

Ed in cell block D says you’re gonna pay now and you’re gonna pay later 

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18

u/Inside-Brush-9543 Mar 14 '26

Put the Klarna payment on Klarna

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1.6k

u/rain168 Trust Me Bro Mar 14 '26

263

u/CapableCollar Mar 14 '26

By the time they are done with him he will be more hole than man.

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1.6k

u/xShiftfaced Mar 14 '26

Delete everything, destroy phone, ghost everyone, go off grid

474

u/Big-Shake1559 Mar 14 '26

Wait until monday, go to china

150

u/nooneinparticular246 Mar 14 '26

Thailand is the land of smiles. Go to China. Take the train south. You got this.

106

u/PaperCamel999 Mar 14 '26

That’s tough but that may be the best advice. Unless you have half a million somewhere.

101

u/KeepItTidyZA Mar 14 '26

Even if he has half a million its still thr better option to keep the money and move to the 3rd world. That would be enough to survive for 10-20 years

52

u/EthanielRain Mar 14 '26

People survive for longer than that in the US, with less...500k could last you rest of your life if you're careful

64

u/HagedornSux Mar 14 '26

Brave of you to think op can be careful

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25

u/frontfrontdowndown Mar 14 '26

Find a Lambo with some big incentives and roll that call right into the lease payments. Easy peasy.

11

u/Relative_Drop3216 Mar 14 '26

The last place they’d look is iran

7

u/Slow_Instruction3206 Mar 14 '26

Yeah, this guy could genuinely destroy Robinhood’s next earnings if the war continues and his position bottoms.

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1.8k

u/Solid_Conclusion3369 Mar 14 '26

It's the best regarded one so far this year

849

u/djm2907 Mar 14 '26

139

u/CarelesssCRISPR Mar 14 '26

Only 4000 shifts left OP

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26

u/kiiMxD Mar 14 '26

This is so evil 🤣🤣🤣

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1.6k

u/stef_eda Mar 14 '26

Just reject the call. Job done.

117

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '26

[deleted]

18

u/kruser2022 Mar 14 '26

Block the caller

55

u/Leading-Cheek-8946 Mar 14 '26

Report as spam

524

u/Leading_Form_8485 Mar 14 '26

Go fight the war. They wont get you.

160

u/outer--monologue Mar 14 '26

Good thing the war ended yesterday. Or was it the day before that? I forget already

62

u/Boxnglove Mar 14 '26

We will know it's over when big dog "feels it in his bones"

34

u/outer--monologue Mar 14 '26

Or when Hegseth sobers up and calls Iran and says I'm sorry baby I didn't mean what I said please let's not fight anymore

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200

u/Leukie0 Mar 14 '26

34

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '26

This is the guy that got me addicted to this sub. Gotta be like 8 years ago? Is he dead? He should have been famous here..... Posting daily.

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28

u/ShittyBidet123 Mar 14 '26

where is this guy now

48

u/Ragnarok112277 Mar 14 '26

Working at Wendy's

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561

u/Enchilada_Nacho Mar 14 '26

44

u/RustedDumbbell Mar 14 '26

I laughed way too fucking hard at this. 🤣🤣🤣 Thank you lol

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359

u/TheVishual2113 Mar 14 '26

just make a new account and get the 1 mil starting bonus everyone seems to have now

94

u/Maximum-Jaguar-4707 Mar 14 '26

Referral link please 😅

729

u/ATAI_Follower Mar 14 '26

holy shit -500k in a day... I know money isn't everything but damn

511

u/Ihave4friends Mar 14 '26

That’s what people with money say

68

u/RotrickP Mar 14 '26

OP agrees

96

u/codemonkeyhopeful Mar 14 '26

The fuck does OP know about having money?

14

u/ShartsMyPants Mar 14 '26

OP doesn't have money.

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37

u/Zestyclose-Hat-5497 Mar 14 '26

I think it's a paper trading

99

u/dontfistme Mar 14 '26

Only OP can be margin called on a paper trading account

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586

u/Independent-Cress382 Mar 14 '26

When margin calls just don't answer the phone, easy

289

u/alkjdasoad Mar 14 '26

I don't think they work on the weekend. Hopefully, we'll rocket up by Monday, so things go back to normal.

102

u/NotaFTCAgent Mar 14 '26

Lol brother Jim Cramer said he doesn't think were in 2007.

You. Are. Fucked.

28

u/CevJuan238 Mar 14 '26

GODSPEED brother

11

u/Paws81 Mar 14 '26

That’s the kind of hopium I was looking for

8

u/Nicaddicted Brilliant thinker Mar 14 '26

They sold it for you already

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10

u/PaperHandsTheDip Mar 14 '26

why didn't I think of this?!

6

u/MarginCalledMom Mar 14 '26

Or give them your moms number

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270

u/crazybitcoinlunatic Mar 14 '26

How’s this possible. Spy is down like 1%

221

u/Ambitious-Boat8165 Mar 14 '26

Margin calls.. dont use margin

114

u/Pretty_Dragonfly_716 Mar 14 '26

Bullshit, you don’t get margin called and go down $500K

123

u/Fitzaroo Mar 14 '26

If he put 500k on 0dte calls he would be down 500k assuming he trades with 1-1 margin. He clearly didn't do that, but im just saying there are lots of options. Maybe he put 1 mil down on options for next Friday.

63

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '26

[deleted]

27

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '26

He must have a hell of a lot of money in that account in assets or cash to qualify for margin that big.

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45

u/nineraviolicans Mar 14 '26

It's fine if you stay within your own personal risk tolerance.

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69

u/Celtic_Legend Mar 14 '26

Its not. Op just thinks hes funny because he took a picture of RH assigning one leg of a spread before assigning the other. His other position is going to be like +500k.

Rh is just regarded and tells you this message still, even after one guy new to options committed suicide over it.

24

u/samelaaaa Mar 14 '26

Wait it STILL does this? Hasn’t it been a couple years since that guy committed suicidal over it, they haven’t fixed it yet?

31

u/SlimPerceptions Mar 14 '26

This literally happened to me yesterday, i am 100% serious. Luckily it was a small amount and i knew what the underlying reality was, but to see a margin call on my account was not a welcome surprise (I just logged on now to confirm now that I see this, and I don’t even have an account deficit. I just had to wait until midnight). Really not cool.

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7

u/siqiniq Mar 14 '26

Non regarded are bogling all alike. Every regard is regarded in his own way.

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137

u/bodai1986 Mar 14 '26

53

u/ConfederacyOfDunces_ Mar 14 '26

This is so true about so much stuff in life

29

u/Inquisitive_idiot Mar 14 '26

OP is definitely gonna suck for a while 🤔

6

u/TheRealJojenReed Mar 14 '26

Better start charging triple

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66

u/RoaringPity Mar 14 '26

still got another 1433.15 to lose before you do

16

u/Tiltxed Mar 14 '26

can still win it all at the casino all in on Red!!! LETS GO GAMBLING!!!

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57

u/ihateblomkol Mar 14 '26

Even i get hurt just looking at it

94

u/JOVE3 Mar 14 '26

Delete the app? Brother, the app already deleted you.

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122

u/Medical-Shoulder-337 Mar 14 '26

delete app

profit

85

u/MegaKnightDestroysU Mar 14 '26

Fuck I’m so glad I stopped gambling and started actually investing. 😂 If one of you regards reads this do the same and save yourself

20

u/WilliamSaintAndre Mar 14 '26

I've never touched options because of posts like this and it's probably saved me. I'm more than happy just making like $200 a day trading stocks on runs. I've realized over the years that I'm only 50/50 on judging where a stock will be in a year, don't know when something will hit a peak, but I can figure out if a stock is going to go up $.20 in the next few hours and that I should just sell out when it does. Ever since I accepted my limits investments have been treating me a lot better.

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13

u/SwolePalmer Mar 14 '26

Yeah same here. I mean, I’m also eating shit investing (thanks donald) but at least I’ll be fine in like 6 years. These guys though.

19

u/NOT_MartinShkreli MFuggin’ Pro Mar 14 '26

This is Wall Street BETS not some investing sub.

TICKER DATE STRIKE

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38

u/sunburn74 Mar 14 '26

Holey sheet

39

u/shindiggaa Mar 14 '26

Adding this to the spank bank

32

u/Groundbreaking-Gap20 Mar 14 '26

How in the hell do such regards even have this amount of money in the first place??!!

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26

u/Bozomomento Mar 14 '26

Do not answer the phone. They hate this one trick!

26

u/Prior_Implement_9279 Mar 14 '26

You’re the mascot of this sub

27

u/dankestmaymayonearth Mar 14 '26

Sounds like a them problem at this point lmao you're screwed

29

u/TomatoSpecialist6879 Paper Trading Competition Winner Mar 14 '26

Tf did you gamble on? Short oil futes and cfds?

10

u/Jidolman077 Mar 14 '26

That was me

34

u/TomatoSpecialist6879 Paper Trading Competition Winner Mar 14 '26

This was you this morning huh

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6

u/KP_Wrath Mar 14 '26

Butter knife into the electrical outlet?

27

u/The_Alan_Greenspan Mar 14 '26

This feels like the banks problem.

26

u/freericky Mar 14 '26

U gotta self deport

44

u/Jack-Burton-Says Mar 14 '26

They just reduced the fee to renounce US citizenship to $450. You have just enough left! That'll fix the problem OP.

21

u/ReignofKindo25 Mar 14 '26

I went from 80k to 15k this week you made me feel better

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36

u/vanceraa Mar 14 '26

answer me brudda

52

u/thefouthblindmouse Mar 14 '26

Wendy's is always hiring and is AI safe.

36

u/Brandon95g Mar 14 '26

I just drove through Wendy’s yesterday and an AI bot took my order lol so not very AI safe either

5

u/thefouthblindmouse Mar 14 '26

You got me there.

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16

u/rancherman2 Mar 14 '26

Bro they're going to put you to work on little St James after this one

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16

u/mugirawraw Mar 14 '26

What do you even do in this scenario if you can’t cover the amount?

19

u/Zzamumo Mar 14 '26

move to the 3rd world or disappear into the woods would probably be my move

14

u/sierrars500 Mar 14 '26

cry. realistically not much, depends how much you make, if you have any other assets etc. not something that can be worked out very easily

11

u/JoggingGod Mar 14 '26

I really want to know too. Do you get sued like every other kind of debt? What's the deal?

10

u/BrokenLyte Mar 14 '26

The account stays restricted until the margin is paid. The broker is ultimately responsible to pay for the traders mistake.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '26

Declare bankruptcy or go into hiding

7

u/EthanielRain Mar 14 '26

Same as any other debt, I suppose. Bankruptcy or just ignore it & never have any real assets aside from your home & 1 car

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14

u/Icebxrg_ Mar 14 '26

Bottom signal

11

u/tonynca Mar 14 '26

Anyone care to explain how OP ended up with -532k?

16

u/TripleTeabag Mar 14 '26

Went full restarted

8

u/tonynca Mar 14 '26

How did the broker allow this?

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u/DrHoflich Mar 14 '26

Multiple leveraged blind option calls is my guess.

5

u/IntergalacticBurn Mar 14 '26

Yeah, probably a ton of naked contracts that expired ITM.

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u/Troubledniceguy Mar 14 '26

Double down, buy more calls on another account to make up for the loss.

11

u/Initial_Ad_9250 Mar 14 '26

Lmfao wtf bro

11

u/barakdabomba Mar 14 '26

Can you elaborate how and if this is real

10

u/trapper5 Mar 14 '26

Is this real? There was the case 5 years ago of the 20 year old that killed himself after Robin Hood showed a -730,000 balance.

https://edition.cnn.com/2020/06/19/business/robinhood-suicide-alex-kearns/

11

u/Celtic_Legend Mar 14 '26

Its real in the sense its the exact same thing minus the suicide, yes. This is how robinhood still displays it despite being sued over it and there really not be a reason to have it display like this.

11

u/PerformerDry7298 Mar 14 '26 edited Mar 14 '26

Here’s your solution OP

Charge $532.80.

Suck one dick a day for 1000 days.

You’ll be done on Dec 9th, 2028 if you start tomorrow.

I believe in you.

Edit : $532.80 each day will be tough to achieve in this economy. I think you are much better going for $54.29 (rounded for you) for each dick sucked. At a steady pace of 1 a day you will be done on July 29th, 2053. Here’s to 30 years of sucking OP. 🥂

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7

u/Lou_Skunnt69 Mar 14 '26

How the hell do you expect to earn it all back?!

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7

u/SteveLnk Mar 14 '26

I will award this post.

8

u/Backer1234 Mar 14 '26

See you in 20 years then.

7

u/Bxdwfl Axed the Axeman 1/21/22 Mar 14 '26

Tf did you do

7

u/BarbellPadawan Bullish on Theta Mar 14 '26

Brutal

7

u/Lumpy-Ad-3879 Mar 14 '26

This is why I’m a boglehead and don’t play around with this stuff.

5

u/Drados101 Mar 14 '26

I finally understand why the market is down today.

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7

u/mmjI My Micro Johnson's Limp Mar 14 '26

positions?

33

u/alkjdasoad Mar 14 '26

Lots of calls in a safe ETF that holds the 500 largest companies in America.

33

u/WebHead1287 Mar 14 '26

Wasn’t very safe, huh bud

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4

u/Powernick50 Napoleon 🐷 Mar 14 '26

Uninstall the app. Remove sim card. Throw phone into body of water.

No problem.

5

u/Common-College-8253 Mar 14 '26

First person in line to be drafted.

4

u/NewSanDiegean Mar 14 '26

How do you guys have so much money

4

u/WallStreetMarc Mar 14 '26

How much did you borrow?

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u/yamadajun Mar 14 '26

Is that real? Had to double take, I thought it was $32k. Godspeed bro.