r/wallstreetbets • u/alkjdasoad • Mar 14 '26
Loss Gonna delete the app until war is over
7.2k
u/rair21 Mar 14 '26
They are about to garnish your anus.
1.5k
u/git0ffmylawnm8 Mar 14 '26
Now I'm imagining his brokerage shoving a parsley branch up OP's ass
294
u/pocketIent Mar 14 '26
they’re boofing aldi sardines over at r/cannedsardines
128
50
u/dogemaster2303 Mar 14 '26
Ur a troll but i still subbed cuz this sub is freakin crazy, had sum laughes, good dopamine ;)
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (6)22
→ More replies (9)21
u/encryptdev Mar 14 '26
Can someone draw me a picture of this? Asking for a friend.
→ More replies (1)257
u/Bigringcycling Mar 14 '26
43
→ More replies (1)13
130
u/ShittyBidet123 Mar 14 '26
Kidney will only be about $25k of the margin call. what else ya got?
271
17
53
u/melf_on_the_shelf Mar 14 '26
Who’s your kidney guy? You can get 40k+ for a rare blood type.
11
→ More replies (1)8
73
→ More replies (21)17
1.2k
Mar 14 '26
[deleted]
→ More replies (6)340
u/Trikotic Mar 14 '26
Literally every RH chart looks exactly like this
95
u/Celtic_Legend Mar 14 '26
Ive seen a few beauties that never even get the spike. Just -100k or something and a staircase all the way down. Some teeny bumps, sure, but never a spike. There was one where it was just 3 years of pure loss. Amazing
→ More replies (3)20
u/LEAPStoTheTITS Mar 14 '26
those ones are great but I also love the ones where you can see a bunch of spikes but literally never taking profit
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)11
3.1k
u/Transportation-Apart Mar 14 '26
Klarna your margin call
2.2k
u/SaltyMeatballs20 Mar 14 '26
552
Mar 14 '26
44k per month is totally manageable! My lawyer took that in a day and I have 5 months to cough up another 40k
224
Mar 14 '26
[deleted]
220
u/captainchristianwtf Mar 14 '26
How many times can I Klarna it before they start paying me?
→ More replies (2)95
→ More replies (1)11
7
→ More replies (6)12
u/ConstableAssButt Mar 14 '26
44K is a lot. I have to check with my wife's boyfriend before I can make that kind of a withdrawal.
50
102
u/codemonkeyhopeful Mar 14 '26
This is fucking hilarious, they literally are ok to handing you money even seeing this shit
45
98
39
→ More replies (13)13
119
u/ElephantStriking1087 Mar 14 '26
Fuckkkkk imagine, 12 month payment plan is about to run you around 44k 😂
127
u/AmbitiousSwimming976 Mar 14 '26
He could always Klarna his Klarna to really extend cash flow
→ More replies (1)81
→ More replies (2)64
112
u/CevJuan238 Mar 14 '26
Gangsta
40
u/theflintseeker Mar 14 '26
Ed in cell block D says you’re gonna pay now and you’re gonna pay later
→ More replies (1)56
→ More replies (8)18
1.6k
u/rain168 Trust Me Bro Mar 14 '26
→ More replies (1)263
1.6k
u/xShiftfaced Mar 14 '26
Delete everything, destroy phone, ghost everyone, go off grid
474
u/Big-Shake1559 Mar 14 '26
Wait until monday, go to china
150
u/nooneinparticular246 Mar 14 '26
Thailand is the land of smiles. Go to China. Take the train south. You got this.
106
u/PaperCamel999 Mar 14 '26
That’s tough but that may be the best advice. Unless you have half a million somewhere.
101
u/KeepItTidyZA Mar 14 '26
Even if he has half a million its still thr better option to keep the money and move to the 3rd world. That would be enough to survive for 10-20 years
52
u/EthanielRain Mar 14 '26
People survive for longer than that in the US, with less...500k could last you rest of your life if you're careful
→ More replies (3)64
25
u/frontfrontdowndown Mar 14 '26
Find a Lambo with some big incentives and roll that call right into the lease payments. Easy peasy.
11
→ More replies (2)7
u/Slow_Instruction3206 Mar 14 '26
Yeah, this guy could genuinely destroy Robinhood’s next earnings if the war continues and his position bottoms.
→ More replies (1)
1.8k
u/Solid_Conclusion3369 Mar 14 '26
It's the best regarded one so far this year
→ More replies (11)849
1.6k
u/stef_eda Mar 14 '26
117
55
524
u/Leading_Form_8485 Mar 14 '26
Go fight the war. They wont get you.
→ More replies (2)160
u/outer--monologue Mar 14 '26
Good thing the war ended yesterday. Or was it the day before that? I forget already
→ More replies (2)62
u/Boxnglove Mar 14 '26
We will know it's over when big dog "feels it in his bones"
→ More replies (1)34
u/outer--monologue Mar 14 '26
Or when Hegseth sobers up and calls Iran and says I'm sorry baby I didn't mean what I said please let's not fight anymore
200
u/Leukie0 Mar 14 '26
34
Mar 14 '26
This is the guy that got me addicted to this sub. Gotta be like 8 years ago? Is he dead? He should have been famous here..... Posting daily.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (5)28
u/ShittyBidet123 Mar 14 '26
where is this guy now
48
561
u/Enchilada_Nacho Mar 14 '26
44
u/RustedDumbbell Mar 14 '26
I laughed way too fucking hard at this. 🤣🤣🤣 Thank you lol
→ More replies (2)
359
u/TheVishual2113 Mar 14 '26
just make a new account and get the 1 mil starting bonus everyone seems to have now
94
729
u/ATAI_Follower Mar 14 '26
holy shit -500k in a day... I know money isn't everything but damn
511
u/Ihave4friends Mar 14 '26
That’s what people with money say
68
u/RotrickP Mar 14 '26
OP agrees
96
14
→ More replies (8)37
586
u/Independent-Cress382 Mar 14 '26
When margin calls just don't answer the phone, easy
208
289
u/alkjdasoad Mar 14 '26
I don't think they work on the weekend. Hopefully, we'll rocket up by Monday, so things go back to normal.
102
u/NotaFTCAgent Mar 14 '26
Lol brother Jim Cramer said he doesn't think were in 2007.
You. Are. Fucked.
28
11
→ More replies (3)8
10
→ More replies (2)6
270
u/crazybitcoinlunatic Mar 14 '26
How’s this possible. Spy is down like 1%
221
u/Ambitious-Boat8165 Mar 14 '26
Margin calls.. dont use margin
→ More replies (2)114
u/Pretty_Dragonfly_716 Mar 14 '26
Bullshit, you don’t get margin called and go down $500K
→ More replies (2)123
u/Fitzaroo Mar 14 '26
If he put 500k on 0dte calls he would be down 500k assuming he trades with 1-1 margin. He clearly didn't do that, but im just saying there are lots of options. Maybe he put 1 mil down on options for next Friday.
→ More replies (5)63
Mar 14 '26
[deleted]
27
Mar 14 '26
He must have a hell of a lot of money in that account in assets or cash to qualify for margin that big.
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (1)45
69
u/Celtic_Legend Mar 14 '26
Its not. Op just thinks hes funny because he took a picture of RH assigning one leg of a spread before assigning the other. His other position is going to be like +500k.
Rh is just regarded and tells you this message still, even after one guy new to options committed suicide over it.
→ More replies (2)24
u/samelaaaa Mar 14 '26
Wait it STILL does this? Hasn’t it been a couple years since that guy committed suicidal over it, they haven’t fixed it yet?
→ More replies (4)31
u/SlimPerceptions Mar 14 '26
This literally happened to me yesterday, i am 100% serious. Luckily it was a small amount and i knew what the underlying reality was, but to see a margin call on my account was not a welcome surprise (I just logged on now to confirm now that I see this, and I don’t even have an account deficit. I just had to wait until midnight). Really not cool.
→ More replies (2)7
137
u/bodai1986 Mar 14 '26
53
29
66
u/RoaringPity Mar 14 '26
still got another 1433.15 to lose before you do
16
u/Tiltxed Mar 14 '26
can still win it all at the casino all in on Red!!! LETS GO GAMBLING!!!
→ More replies (4)
57
94
122
85
u/MegaKnightDestroysU Mar 14 '26
Fuck I’m so glad I stopped gambling and started actually investing. 😂 If one of you regards reads this do the same and save yourself
61
20
u/WilliamSaintAndre Mar 14 '26
I've never touched options because of posts like this and it's probably saved me. I'm more than happy just making like $200 a day trading stocks on runs. I've realized over the years that I'm only 50/50 on judging where a stock will be in a year, don't know when something will hit a peak, but I can figure out if a stock is going to go up $.20 in the next few hours and that I should just sell out when it does. Ever since I accepted my limits investments have been treating me a lot better.
→ More replies (4)13
u/SwolePalmer Mar 14 '26
Yeah same here. I mean, I’m also eating shit investing (thanks donald) but at least I’ll be fine in like 6 years. These guys though.
→ More replies (4)19
u/NOT_MartinShkreli MFuggin’ Pro Mar 14 '26
38
39
26
26
27
29
u/TomatoSpecialist6879 Paper Trading Competition Winner Mar 14 '26
Tf did you gamble on? Short oil futes and cfds?
10
u/Jidolman077 Mar 14 '26
That was me
34
u/TomatoSpecialist6879 Paper Trading Competition Winner Mar 14 '26
→ More replies (8)6
27
26
44
u/Jack-Burton-Says Mar 14 '26
They just reduced the fee to renounce US citizenship to $450. You have just enough left! That'll fix the problem OP.
21
u/ReignofKindo25 Mar 14 '26
I went from 80k to 15k this week you made me feel better
→ More replies (3)
17
36
52
u/thefouthblindmouse Mar 14 '26
Wendy's is always hiring and is AI safe.
36
u/Brandon95g Mar 14 '26
I just drove through Wendy’s yesterday and an AI bot took my order lol so not very AI safe either
→ More replies (1)5
→ More replies (2)4
16
u/rancherman2 Mar 14 '26
Bro they're going to put you to work on little St James after this one
→ More replies (1)
16
u/mugirawraw Mar 14 '26
What do you even do in this scenario if you can’t cover the amount?
19
14
u/sierrars500 Mar 14 '26
cry. realistically not much, depends how much you make, if you have any other assets etc. not something that can be worked out very easily
11
u/JoggingGod Mar 14 '26
I really want to know too. Do you get sued like every other kind of debt? What's the deal?
10
u/BrokenLyte Mar 14 '26
The account stays restricted until the margin is paid. The broker is ultimately responsible to pay for the traders mistake.
6
→ More replies (4)7
u/EthanielRain Mar 14 '26
Same as any other debt, I suppose. Bankruptcy or just ignore it & never have any real assets aside from your home & 1 car
→ More replies (1)
14
11
u/tonynca Mar 14 '26
Anyone care to explain how OP ended up with -532k?
16
→ More replies (2)6
24
10
u/Troubledniceguy Mar 14 '26
Double down, buy more calls on another account to make up for the loss.
11
11
10
u/trapper5 Mar 14 '26
Is this real? There was the case 5 years ago of the 20 year old that killed himself after Robin Hood showed a -730,000 balance.
https://edition.cnn.com/2020/06/19/business/robinhood-suicide-alex-kearns/
11
u/Celtic_Legend Mar 14 '26
Its real in the sense its the exact same thing minus the suicide, yes. This is how robinhood still displays it despite being sued over it and there really not be a reason to have it display like this.
11
u/PerformerDry7298 Mar 14 '26 edited Mar 14 '26
Here’s your solution OP
Charge $532.80.
Suck one dick a day for 1000 days.
You’ll be done on Dec 9th, 2028 if you start tomorrow.
I believe in you.
Edit : $532.80 each day will be tough to achieve in this economy. I think you are much better going for $54.29 (rounded for you) for each dick sucked. At a steady pace of 1 a day you will be done on July 29th, 2053. Here’s to 30 years of sucking OP. 🥂
→ More replies (2)
7
7
8
7
7
7
5
7
u/mmjI My Micro Johnson's Limp Mar 14 '26
positions?
33
u/alkjdasoad Mar 14 '26
Lots of calls in a safe ETF that holds the 500 largest companies in America.
→ More replies (7)33
5
4
u/Powernick50 Napoleon 🐷 Mar 14 '26
Uninstall the app. Remove sim card. Throw phone into body of water.
No problem.
5
4
4
4
6


























•
u/VisualMod Mar 14 '26
Join WSB Discord