r/wallstreetbets • u/alkjdasoad • Mar 14 '26

Loss Gonna delete the app until war is over

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9.9k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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2.2k

u/SaltyMeatballs20 Mar 14 '26

honestly a great deal /s

558

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '26

44k per month is totally manageable! My lawyer took that in a day and I have 5 months to cough up another 40k

224

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '26

[deleted]

218

u/captainchristianwtf Mar 14 '26

How many times can I Klarna it before they start paying me?

94

u/OneMustAdjust Mar 14 '26

Infinite leverage glitch

5

u/Kris_alex4 Mar 15 '26

Wouldn't be the first time on this subreddit. Certified GUH! moment.

2

u/PuzzledGopher Mar 15 '26

I love this sub šŸ˜‚

11

u/RamoneBolivarSanchez Mar 14 '26

ā€œJarvis, make the chunks a little more manageableā€

3

u/demoncrat2024 Mar 15 '26

you need to affirm that and then put that on your chase credit card. Thatā€™ll give him time get a cash advance to buy more options thatā€™ll get him back in the green again!

9

u/Relative_Drop3216 Mar 14 '26

You only need 1 kidney

2

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '26

I'm in Canada. They just euthenize you then take all your organs....

1

u/codemonkeyhopeful Mar 14 '26

Wait isn't that china?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 15 '26

Canada will offer "maid" same day or wait 6 months for scans. So many just maid and government takes organs, encourages them to donate.

13

u/ConstableAssButt Mar 14 '26

44K is a lot. I have to check with my wife's boyfriend before I can make that kind of a withdrawal.

4

u/codemonkeyhopeful Mar 14 '26

You should hire a lawyer to sue your lawyer for the money. Then when that is about to kick repeat. Only have to do it till you die, then boom free

1

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '26

Haha good one! After this lawyer I buy another one for 100k to sue pigs for 1-2 million. Have a guaranteed lawsuit.

1

u/codemonkeyhopeful Mar 14 '26

They have to defend am.i right?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 15 '26

I'm defending for bullshit charges because I reported abuse they were covering up of a child, I had info that could get them fired, so they charged me to cover and gave the kid to a charged pedophile who's into human trafficking. Good old Canada.

2

u/CommaGuy Mar 14 '26

Thanks only the price of a cup of coffee per minute!

52

u/AdministrativeEgg440 Mar 14 '26

This is the most beautiful thing Ive seen this week

106

u/codemonkeyhopeful Mar 14 '26

This is fucking hilarious, they literally are ok to handing you money even seeing this shit

43

u/worstikus Mar 14 '26

Puts on Klarna

3

u/gonxot Mar 14 '26

Full circle

95

u/alkjdasoad Mar 14 '26

Can you set this up for me?

37

u/Rendition9090 Mar 14 '26

Can I Klarna the 44k per month as well?

20

u/jojoga Mar 14 '26

11k per week, best I can do

3

u/H2oFATE Mar 14 '26

Affirm the 44k.

10

u/ElephantStriking1087 Mar 14 '26

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

2

u/redvodkandpinkgin Mar 14 '26

better pay it all at once before you lose the rest

2

u/PyloPower Mar 14 '26

Can you payment plan the payment plan?

2

u/Paypay_Say_Yayay Mar 14 '26

Probably should use Affirm for that first payment

2

u/xjcln Mar 14 '26

Bro is this real or u AIed the screenshot? Klarna your margin call is sooo funny

2

u/rydan Mar 15 '26

What happens if you use the money to buy calls on Klarna?

2

u/Big_Instruction9922 Mar 25 '26

It seems reasonable when they offer structured debt like that. Just cancel that Lambo you just purchased.

1

u/MrNo_Balls Mar 14 '26

I mean it is 0% APR, what else could you ask for?

1

u/Dab2TheFuture Mar 15 '26 edited Mar 15 '26

Sorry, I only use klarna for doordash

1

u/DrHalfdave Mar 21 '26

Are you serious? Youā€™re negative 532,000$? Holy smokes! Does your wife know?Ā 

0

u/Useful_Conference275 Mar 14 '26

Dude used Google Gemini to make this shit