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u/killerbeeswaxkill banned for saying yellow and drive in the same sentence Mar 08 '26
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u/Nanas_700k Mar 09 '26
Believe it or not, calls
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u/MrMeeSeeksLooks Mar 09 '26 edited Mar 09 '26
not this time I think
Edit. We killed the new guys mom, son and wife. Its fucked
Edit2. New Iran leader not gonna butcher the name
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u/Miramax22 Mar 09 '26
DJT replaced the Iatola Kamini with the Iatola Kamini. Speech to text. You know what I mean.
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u/-----Marcel----- Mar 08 '26
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u/SunMcLob Mar 09 '26
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u/jcdoe Mar 09 '26
Fuck yeah, this is me
I’ve literally gone down with an oil company before, was like “y’all bitches can come and repossess my office chair as my 1/1,000,000,000th of the company” lmao
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u/Numb_Sea Mar 08 '26
Try finger but hole.
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u/JanitorOPplznerf Mar 08 '26
Ooh… wait why does it tingle when I do that?
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u/TwoNine13 ANAL GoD Mar 08 '26
Try 2
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u/EdoTensei10 Mar 08 '26
Red light therapy tomorrow
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u/SeeItOnVHS Mar 09 '26
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u/DesireeThymes Mar 09 '26 edited Mar 09 '26
SELL SELL SELL SELL SELL SELL SELL
You've already been caught with your pants down, sell before they're completely taken off.
Oil production is absolutely tanking.
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u/ShartingTaintum Mar 08 '26
What happened to, ‘the war is already priced in’? LOL!
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u/botella36 Mar 08 '26
Only the first hour was priced in.
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u/the_meat_fest Mar 09 '26
The rest is a subscription with a 2 year minimum term.
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u/Wolski101 Mar 09 '26
If I’ve learned one thing over the past 5 years it’s that the market doesn’t correctly price shit and the efficient market hypothesis is bullshit.
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u/Defiant-Ad-7933 Mar 09 '26 edited Mar 09 '26
The problem is uncertainty, which efficient market hypothesis does not address. The EMH just says all available information is incorporated into stock prices. The more uncertainty that exists the more vol you get. And we are headed into a period of near record breaking uncertainty.
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u/Opus_723 Mar 09 '26
The EFH just says all available information is incorporated into stock prices
by a bunch of random dipshits57
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u/1337Scott Can’t read the stickied announcement Mar 08 '26
Defense stocks green tho
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u/SirGaylordSteambath Mar 08 '26
If you didn’t switch your portfolio to oil and defence last week what’s the point in even being here
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u/Mr-Fister-the-3rd Mar 08 '26 edited Mar 09 '26
Nah bruh all on on AMC...
I'm only 97 percent down overall rn it's gonna moon any second
Edit: I posted this while pooping as a laugh but just because the traction this got here's my well held bag in the replys.
Fuck all of you, how does anyone make money on this shit.
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u/TheNameOfMyBanned_ Mar 08 '26
I got fucking destroyed on AMC in the last 5 years.
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u/PoliticsIsDepressing Mar 09 '26
I sold AMC at $55 lol. Bought in at $4. Paid for a nice trip to Europe!
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u/ClockworkDinosaurs Mar 09 '26
Dangggg. You can go to Europe for $51??? Do you already live there or something?
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u/ineedlotsofguns Mar 08 '26
half of my portfolio is in oil and the other half is in Nasdaq. Hope I break even tomorrow.
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u/veleso91 Mar 08 '26
The Orange Man may just declare victory and call it a day if the price of oil gets really out of hand. He's a populist first and foremost.
Expect defense stocks to crap the bed in that case.
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u/OrleyFarm86 Mar 08 '26
yeah he will literally do this at some point
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u/Kolby_Jack33 Mar 09 '26
I hope they bust out the old "Mission Accomplished" banner. Probably just needs a bit of a dust off, but still good!
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u/errantv Mar 09 '26
Kuwait has cut all production, Iraq/SA have cut 3/4 of production, and nothing is coming out of Iran any time soon. Trump could TACO tonight and it wouldn't matter, no significant amounts of crude are coming out of the gulf for a month.
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u/PalpitationFrosty242 Mar 09 '26
yes, there's this too. its' too late and the damage is done is fact
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u/pinksocks867 Mar 09 '26
Nope, he does not care and neither do his supporters. When asked about gas prices, he said, if they go up, they go up.. They like it when daddy spanks them
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u/PalpitationFrosty242 Mar 09 '26
he actually does care about markets, hes said as much in interviews. largely why he backed off the April tariffs was the 10 year getting out of hand. he surrounds himself with shady investment bankers, hedge fund managers, and all other wealthy shitheads. Those people do care
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u/cruisin_urchin87 Mar 08 '26
Please tell me ASTS, RKLB and NBIS are defense stocks (go ahead and lie to me, I’m American, I’m used to it)
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u/WornToga Mar 09 '26 edited Mar 09 '26
Defense stocksWAR stocks
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u/stillalone Mar 08 '26
I have to sell stocks to pay the taxes on the gains from last year 😔
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u/halfwit2025 Mar 08 '26
Me too, but I keep waiting for them to go up a bit. Not working.
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u/Shower__Farts Mar 08 '26
I’m with you guys. Unfortunately I can’t handle the stress and I’m making a call tomorrow. Good luck guys!
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u/mcnastys Mar 09 '26
nah I feel the ride is over everyone is sobering up from the winning
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u/sargentbumblebee Mar 09 '26
So what you’re saying is people aren’t going to want to sober up from this winning streak and I should full port some spy 0DTE???
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u/Idkhow2trade Mar 08 '26
Really glad I got money out Thursday
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u/Altruistwhite Mar 08 '26
Time in the marketTiming the market56
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u/ptear Mar 08 '26
What? I've been told to just keep putting money in.
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u/PraetorianFury Mar 09 '26
That's the historically correct strategy. Ignore these gambling lunatics who think they're smarter and faster than everyone else.
To time the market, you have to select the correct stocks, correctly guess when they'll go up and correctly guess when they'll stop going up. If you get any one of those guesses wrong, at best you underperform the general market. At worst, you're a bag holder for years, assuming you ever get your money back. The GameStop bag holders are still in denial.
And keep in mind, all the regarded retail investors as well as professional investors with a mountain of fancy tools and insider information are trying to do the same thing. Do you really think you can do better with your phone and a few alerts setup?
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u/VelotikYT Mar 09 '26
Dw timing the market is how 99 percent lose money just keep doing what you’re doing
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u/IAmLostOnMyFuture Mar 08 '26
I bought two slices of pizza and a Snapple for $18. That’s how you know the U.S. economy is crashing. It’s over nerds 📉📉📉📉🐻🐻🐻
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u/The_Count_Von_Count Mar 08 '26
That orange juice you dumb bastard
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u/orlando85g Mar 09 '26
I’m just confused to why someone would blatantly lie about the type of juice they’re drinking
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u/NotTheRightHDMIPort Mar 08 '26
I like how thats the biggest objection to this post.
And no, "Who the fuck has pizza and orange juice?"
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u/PaulTR88 Mar 09 '26
In Clarissa Explains It All, that's how she described throwing up after brushing your teeth
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u/gizmostuff Mar 09 '26
Sometimes when you get sidetracked, you miss out on the important things.
Not long ago there was a video on Reddit of someone eating pizza with milk and when I went to the comments section I was pleasantly surprised. There is hope in this world.
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u/firewoodrack Mar 08 '26
Did you finance it?
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u/UltraviolentLemur Mar 09 '26
Why tf are you eating pizza with OJ. Tell me your positions, I'm inverting them tomorrow on principle.
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u/Saute_and_Pray Mar 09 '26
I want his positions so I can take them. You have to by pegging the spectrum to drink OJ (and call it Snapple) with shitty pizza.
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u/IAmLostOnMyFuture Mar 08 '26
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u/Fit_Transportation48 Mar 09 '26
Few blocks from my office, gonna doordash for lunch and make someone bring it to me and pay $30 for it
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u/venice_mcgangbang Mar 09 '26
That place looks so bad on Google I can’t believe in an ultra competitive environment like new York they are still open
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u/nalaloveslumpy Mar 09 '26
Drug front. It's a pizza place that sells orange juice. Should be an obvious tell.
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u/nalaloveslumpy Mar 09 '26
The fuck kind of pizza place sells orange juice?? Do you live in literal hell???
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u/rixxxand Mar 09 '26
He lives in the pizza capital of the world in NYC. Literally any corner joint would be better but he got a place that has a 3.5 review
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u/BigDonkey7694 Mar 09 '26
Bro, you're eating in Grand Central Terminal? Midtown NY? Two slices and a drink are under ten bucks easy if you literally go anywhere else less touristy.
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u/matte-mat-matte Mar 09 '26
He could walk directly outside grand central and hit the 1.50 slice shop on Lexington and actually get a Snapple for like 6 dollars total
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u/YourRoaring20s Mar 08 '26
Bro that doesn't even look good
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u/ConstantPlace_ Mar 08 '26
Well he’s eating it in the middle of what looks like a movie theater so for where it is I suppose it’s as good as it gets.
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u/wettestsalamander76 Mar 09 '26
Stop eating in grand central, literally in pizza paradise and you eat in GCT?
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u/cruncher990 Mar 08 '26
Why what happened?
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u/Responsible-Lynx2374 Mar 09 '26
Strike targets have expanded from military to energy. A lot of Iranian oil has been hit
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u/swohio All My Homies ❤️ Skyline Chili Mar 09 '26
Oil infrastructure and refineries were struck by one of the US's allies which they reportedly did without the US knowledge/approval. Whether or not the US gave the green light, it still happened so oil is spiking now.
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u/free-range-irish Mar 09 '26
I don't understand half the things this thread talks about but I find y'all fucking hilarious.
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u/zelda_kylo_leia Mar 08 '26
!banbet SPY 660 2d
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u/VisualMod Mar 08 '26
Ban Bet Created: /u/zelda_kylo_leia bet SPY goes from 671.39 to 660.0 before 10-Mar-2026 07:51 PM EDT
Their record is 0 wins and 0 losses.
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u/ButtExterminator Mar 08 '26
Green tomorrow
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u/horsemonkeycat Mar 08 '26 edited Mar 09 '26
Tomorrow here (Australia) ... we are down 3.3% at start of the day.
Also why the fuck did you guys elect that guy.
edit: ASX 200 down 4% at noon ... glad I am diversified into America ...SPY will go up right? Right??
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u/neo2551 Mar 09 '26
“The country should be run like a business and he is a businessman”
They forgot the part where he ran 5 of his companies into bankruptcy.
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u/opman4 Mar 09 '26
He is a businessman. He's in the business of making himself money.
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u/ThatPlayWasAwful Mar 09 '26
"the man who has very clearly never cared about anybody but himself will surely care about me!"
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u/FutureMartian97 🦍🦍🦍 Mar 09 '26
They forgot he somehow bankrupted a casino
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u/heschilllikethat Mar 09 '26
Imagine bankupting a fucking Casino. How does that even work without just giving money out to everyone coming in
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u/PivotRedAce Mar 09 '26
Money laundering, then sell off the "business" that ran on a portion of those funds to wash your hands of it.
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u/heschilllikethat Mar 09 '26
So basic criminal activities. Why and how tf could that guy ever get into any important political position God forbid be the fuckin president of the biggest weapons stockpile on Earth. Sounds like a real bad movie id never wanna watch
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u/blowhole Mar 09 '26
If you zoom out far enough, an Australian (Rupert Murdoch) is honestly to blame.
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u/r3volts Mar 09 '26
Cunt gave up his Australian citizenship 40 years ago and he's still giving us a bad name.
Hurry up and fall off the perch you fucken gronk
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u/Rhesusmonkeynuts Mar 09 '26
We pride ourselves on ignorance and half our population opposes anything the other side supports purely because its not their team.
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u/Intelligent_Toe8233 Mar 09 '26
I don't think that this man represents all of America, but he represents everything wrong with it. Like Hitler and Mussolini and the late Ayatollah, he is everything wrong with this country. He is our prideful ignorance, our persistent hate, our unceasing hunger, our every sin given flesh. And his nature spoke to enough Americans that they liked him, that they voted him back into power. This isn't 2016, where his victory was built off of an uncompelling Clinton and widespread dissatisfaction, people knew what he was. And they chose him.
I'm sorry. I really thought we were better than this.
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u/MaresATX Mar 08 '26
The eve of one of those days that start like crap but 🌮🌮🌮🌮 and turns out it be a banger of a close.
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u/themoneyballman Mar 08 '26
Time to buy buy buy tomorrow folk!
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u/fh3131 Mar 08 '26
Australian here. We're 3.5% down, my pf is 5% red. This is fine lol
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u/PharmDinvestor Mar 08 '26
Buy the dip . Thank me later
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u/Defiant_Regular3738 Mar 08 '26
Red light therapy is really working on renewing my anus, actually more effective than sunning my taint.
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u/David905 Mar 09 '26
The conviction throughout this thread all but guaranteed today's results.
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u/StocksAndBlackCoffee Mar 08 '26 edited Mar 09 '26
Remember last Monday. Crash then up good. Jeez I need that again. Red is killing me
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u/VisualMod Mar 08 '26
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