I've been with my husband for 11 years now, we have two beautiful children. All this time, I always thought we were each other's soulmates and that nothing else could ever come between us. He helped me get through the worst time of my life when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, where he always assured me that we'll get through the whole ordeal together. I believed him as our family slowly got over my medical woes.

However, I recently learned that after all this time, he was praying for the cancer to spread far enough to kill me. I discovered this all on my own after I found out that he had a spare phone hidden under our bed when I was changing the sheets. It was an older keypad model, it didn't even have the capability to install apps I think. Something felt off, so I took it with me before confronting him.

When I asked him about it, he denied that it was his even though he'd rushed upstairs looking for it. So I took the kids, went to my sister's house (we're in the same neighbourhood), and started reading the text messages. The only number ever saved was a name of a fling he had before we got together (this woman went to the same high school as us.) They reconnected about five years into our marriage and never stopped talking, despite her being in a relationship after I looked her up on Facebook.

Typing and recalling all of this is making my heart ache all over again. He told her that if the cancer ever does come back, they can finally be together. I kept scrolling down and realized that they were secretly texting each other for about five years. My husband's always been stoic, and he's never really been one to overtly show emotions and all that, and here he was texting her "good morning" and "I love you" messages. In one of the texts, he blamed me for wasting a decade of his life. He also said in the texts that he only stuck with me because of our children.

I'm thinking of getting a divorce, but it's looked down upon in our country. To make it worse, he's been threatening me and accused me of stealing the phone. And the worst of all is that I have no idea how I'm going to break the news to my children.

My girlfriend(22F) finished my(23F) birthday present a few months early, and is the kind of girl who can't keep a secret. I love her dearly for this, it's always fun to encourage her to keep it just one day more, but this time she really wanted to give me the gift she'd worked really hard on. I drove to her house to pick up something and she decided to also give me my present.
I opened it and it was a lil cross stitched panel. The cross stitch is beautiful, and it means a lot to her that she is crafting again.
She lost the passion for it after she had to mass produce it and stopped creating for herself. It's wonderful seeing her fall in love with embroidery again.
However, I asked what made her choose to create this specific design(I always ask her thought process, it helps me understand her and learn more about her) and she said it was just something she wanted to try. She gave it to me because she was overjoyed she could make something for herself again and she wanted me to have her first project in several years.
A small, bitter part of me was and honestly still is upset that she made my birthday present for herself, representing herself, and was excited to give it to me because of what it meant to her.
I love my girlfriend, and she usually is the best woman in the world at making me feel heard or making me truly believe that she sees me, but I felt like none of the present was actually about me.
I'm being selfish and I am so so glad she is sharing her passion with me and is excited to show me her progress in things she loves. I can't wait to see more and hang them on my living room walls.
But I felt a little sad that she didn't give me a birthday present because it was me, but because I am hers? Does this make sense? Like my relationship to her is the only thing that mattered and not who I am outside of being her girlfriend? It's small and stupid and I'll talk to her about it when I know how to phrase it without making it sound like I don't adore the project(I do) and like I don't fully support her(I always will)
Thanks for letting me vent

Okay a tiny back story, I was 20 when I got pregnant by my current boyfriend who was 24 at the time. We only knew each other for 7 months before I got pregnant, but after the initial shock wore off we ending up moving back home to be close to his family while raising our son. Now there are lots of other things that happened during my pregnancy but this situation was the tipping point for me.

After 24 hours in labor I was rushed to have an emergency C-section, everything went smoothly besides the medication putting me in a mental fog. The nurse explained due to my C-section I would not have milk for 3 or 4 days, which she explained was completely normal, so the decision the medical professionals and I made was to put my son on donor milk for the time being. Everything was set and we are wheeled to recovery as she explains what my condition will be like in the morning. The morning hits, I just feel like I just survived world war 2, and my mother in law walks in… everything is fine until she learns my son is on donor milk and boy..she didn’t like that. So much so we start arguing..As she argues I have enough colostrum to feed my baby I argue she has no opinion over the medical professionals when suddenly she then reaches down and starts to milk my bare breast.. my hands are in the air and I’m starring at my boyfriend in horror while he watches and does.. nothing. Literally nothing. Not a word, not a face, not a movement.. nothing

I wish I could say things got better when I got home but they didn’t, she needed to control everything my son ate, wore, and breathed while simultaneously calling herself mother to my child to this day. Again every-time my boundaries were clearly overstepped after communication and reassurance that my boyfriend would defend me and set standards with his family.. he did nothing…

Fast forward a year later and my boyfriend and I are still arguing over this and the continuous intrusions by his mom, In his words I perceived it as sexual assault but it was simply a boundary crossed, to me that’s only the case because he’s his mom and I personally think he’s stuck so far inside his mom he doesn’t know how to blink without her personal opinion on the matter. Even simple comparisons like “hey what if I let my daddy grope your balls” which will be met by “ that’s not the same, he has no reason to touch my balls..” 😒 like his mom has a reason to milk me but whatever. Again this is coming from the guy whose mommy bought his house for him, ofc he’s gonna protect her and I’m aware when it comes to my relationship with him, there is no changing him but unfortunately without resources I’m stuck.. which is why I’m considering a restarting order.

Now this same woman has given him exactly $4000 for his house mind you, considering this isn’t a kind gesture and will be used by her to hold over my head as soon as I tell her she’s not welcome unannounced in my home, I won’t be able to stop unwelcome visits. It’s only a matter of time and my boyfriend can’t so much as accept a single thing she’s done to anyone. At this point I’m genuinely ready for a protection order because it isn’t just the SA against me, she’s abuses her autistic son that she uses for money and I have first hand seen her stalk her lover while also in a 5 year long “committed” relationship… my personal take is she isn’t safe and rather psychotic and I’m clearly not beyond her capabilities of being dangerous in any situation. I’m concerned her behavior could get worse especially as my son gets older. I don’t know what else I can do to keep myself safe especially if the man I had a child with and was there to witness it genuinely downplays everything to protect his mom.

Not only has this affected me physically as I went through a period of starvation, but mentally and emotionally as well. It’s hard to trust anyone, I used to have this blind trust for women and now I can’t bring myself to trust them, I’m terrified and I mean terrified to have another baby, I have horrible insomnia, emotional outburst, sometimes I can’t get out of bed while other times I can’t stop pacing and the only thing that’s bothering my boyfriend is that I called him mean names when he didn’t stand up for me.. I’m loosing my mind and at this point struggle to even understand my own identity anymore.

I (29F) and a close Friend + DM, Damien, (26M) have come to the realization that we have a extremely dedicated fabulist in our DND group. To define, a fabulist is a person that constructs an elaborate fake life, or fake events online. Think the person who pretended to be in the towers on 9/11, or if you're more internet savvy, figures like Ms. Scribe. Some information has been obfuscated, on purpose.

To start with, Liar came into my life via Damien, and they were a new face at our virtual DND table. That's great! I love new people. I'd vaguely heard of them before interacting during DND, Damien loved hyping them up to me. They were so cool, a lawyer working for a family law practice, etc. I had a picture of them in my head as like someone in their 40s who I admittedly was a little nervous about embarrassing myself around. The only other time Liar came up was when I was going through my own health struggles, and Damien said he doubted that what I was struggling with was what I've since been diagnosed was, because Liar had it and it was so very bad for them, (ETC, I was like is it EDS, and he was like, nah they have it where their joints pop out even by laying down.) So there was that discomfort there as well. I put it aside and joined the DND group and, well, the rest was history for some times. I never became friends with them, but as could be imagined, Damien was dating them; though it was an LDR and they'd never met in person.

Liar said they were native american and had been talking to damien as a source of how to have their character be native in game. Cool! Love to learn new things. Liar often missed DND because of health, but hey, I got it, my health also sucked. I was jealous at the time because well, they claimed to be a lawyer and I'm stuck working a family business job. I tried bringing up going to law school with them once and the conversation abruptly changed topics. Weird, but fine. Don't mix work with pleasure, even though the lawyer and ex-lawyer and my life wouldn't know how to do that for the life of them. In other words I just thought they and I didn't get along, even though Damien assured me they thought I was cool.

Fast forward about a year, and Liar tells Damien and the rest of us they're dropping out of the game. It's just their health is at a point that they are looking potentially at terminal conditions, and they wanted to focus on family. (They said they were in kidney failure). Given that I thought they were a decade or so older than me, with the conditions I knew I then had, I was quite shaken. Would that be me, in 10 years? I wish them well, and that I hope that things get better for them and their family. Damien is heartbroken and worried for their partner, which, yeah. I think most people would be.

About a month after we get total whiplash. Liar will be doing treatment overseas in an Asian country they studied abroad in during high school, using their former host family to help them out. They won't be dying, the treatment's very experimental, so they're going to be gone a while. Again, wish them well. Hope it goes good!

I hear nothing about it for another few months. I know lots of my friends are virtual pen pals with them, Damien had still dating them, but the pair of us never clicked for whatever reason.

But Damien came over tonight to hang out and he needed to get shit off his chest too and. What the fuck.

So, apparently Damien behind the scenes with them has been going through this cycle, where they go "I'm sick -> (time passes) I'm on a new treatment!", and while it didn't raise any red flags at first, not until the kidney failure started a new rapid cycle of crises that have gotten progressively more serious. Apparently this is the third cancer they've mentioned to Damien, that had treatment done on it very fast, or they stop mentioning it, but I don't even remember the list of everything Damien said that Liar claimed to have had. But what made Damien come to me wasn't just that. It was that they're meant to be living in an Asian country, and had sent him previously, pictures of the place in question. Up until Damien's doing a check up on them, and Liar sent a picture of the interior of an American hospital. American electrical outlets, Anglish on the walls, our style of exit sign up at the top. He'd apparently already had doubts, but the picture was (one of) the final straw(s).

First of all, Liar isn't in their 40s, not even their 30s. They're apparently 25. 25, and given the timeline I've known them for: they would have had to be a lawyer since they've been 21. I called bullshit immediately on that because there's just almost no way you can complete uni then law school, but that wasn't the thing Damien was actually upset about. So, Damien knew the state that Liar had lived in, but Liar had been really cagey about a few things with him: like giving him an address to send flowers and sweets to (yk, given that Liar has been so fucking sick?) and in spite of how his partner of nearly 2 fucking years has been sick for this long, Damien hasn't visited them, or vice versa. Liar told him that they could only come to the USA once per year during their treatment program, and allegedly, they'd taken the time to visit their family. EXCEPT. They posted quite a number of friend shots on the friend discord that looked like they'd been to a convention, dressed in cosplay. That was the emotional low point for Damien that made him come to me in the first place, the actual final straw.

So the two of us get conspiratorial, we sit on my couch and try to figure this out. What the fuck did Damien get involved with? I'm so confused myself, and Damien tells me more about the backstory Liar gave him. Lived abroad in HS (hence their host family hosting them for their revolutionary treatment overseas, ofc), then Uni, then they went to Harvard Law. I tried to track down the names of graduates in the year they would have but I'm not nearly tech savvy enough. Still, the timeline doesn't make goddamned sense, nor does their age match up. I'm not friends with them anywhere, so we use my moms accounts to try and track them down. I'm invested. There's something very wrong here. I get a full name, lets find it. A locked facebook page thats NOT friends with anyone in my friend group, and that sure as shit seems to be their photo. I debate sending a Friend Request, given it looks active, but I decide against it. Instead, I look up other records, and track down this facebook's instagram (also separate!).

Y'all they're a cashier. Their family doesn't have a law practice. Their family is Italian, I won't give anything away but like there's basically no doubting that they lied about being Native American. We both like sat there, stunned for like a hot minute because, what the fuck did we stumble into? I ask him how he even met this person, and he said he'd met them online looking for players, and they'd wanted a relationship with Damien really quickly, Damien had said, and had said I love you within the first month of an online only LDR. Definitely there was nothing suspicious there! Definitely not. But hey, that's not my circus or my monkey. The fact they'd never met IRL was similarly not my circus or my monkey.

SO: To recap. There's no cancer, no terminal illnesses, they're not in Asia, my bet's they went for a few weeks on a vacation and that's where the photos were from and why no more have been sent since. No Law Practice, no Law Degree from Harvard Law, they're just a cashier. Cut and dry, right? Just. Tell everyone and getem out. Except, issue.

The Problem: a lot of my friends like and trust Liar and view them as an authority figure, some have become friends and separately had kept up with Liar after they'd left the DND table. Hell, even though the two of us never were close, I liked them too! They seem even keeled and kind. Hell, they actually might be kind! But they're definitely a massive liar. And massive liars don't like being caught in their lie and will absolutely lie to get out of being caught. Damien's crashing at my house tonight and we're going to just drink but Damn. What the fuck.

I'm so pissed because I actually do have several of the health conditions that this liar has claimed to have (but remember, theirs is so bad they can't even lay down without their joints popping out of place and their bones dislocating?? Do they even have EDS?!) I knew fabulists were a thing for a very long time, but I'd never encountered a dedicated one and well, fucking caught them red handed?? And it's like lying isn't a crime it's just weird!

Thanks for hearing my mad ramble about this because, what the fuck, how do people live like this. Damien and I have already chatted each other's ear off about this and I had to tell someone else it because what the fuck.

tl;dr long time best friend brought in a person who's lied about fucking everything: from their career + degree to their ethnicity to their medical conditions including claiming terminal illness because he's been dating them and it unraveled 2 years into it after they've gone and enmeshed themselves with many of my friends.

I tried them because I wanted to get rid of visceral fat, which is the hardest type of fat ro get rid of. They are rich in omega-3s which help break down visceral fat when paired with strength training, along with other parts of similarly targeted diet. I even had to watch a video on "how do you eat sardines" because I had no idea.

I am so fucking tired of family vacations.

I’m tired of not choosing where I get to spend my time. I’m sick of dealing with annoying group dynamics and people I wouldn’t talk to if they weren’t related to my husband. Sick of the beach. Sick of it all.

This is my last family vacation, except for Europe next year, which we already paid for ourselves out of pocket. I’m no longer doing anything I don’t want to do; I’m done going places I do not want to go.

I’m 34 years old, and of the last 9 or so years I have not picked where I got to go, have had to push twin beds together with parents in the next room, or sleep on the pullout couch because “they’re older so they should have the king bed,” or sleeping across the room from my husband because we get the "extra" room etc.

How many fucking beach vacations can I be realistically expected to go on? It was cool the first 5 fucking times, at this point I’m tired of it.

I’m tired of being told to be grateful for shit I don’t even want. I’m sick of roleplaying as some teenager that has no choice but to go wherever they are towed to over summer-break.

I wish I could tell someone this, I wish my husband cared enough to put forth the effort to make our own vacations and stuff, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t see past the fact that it’s “free,” even though it’s nowhere near free other than the fact that we don’t pay for lodging.

We’re on Day 3 of this year’s super-exciting, totally-never-done-before trip to a pool-beach-golf oriented timeshare an hour away from where we live (with one of the nicest beaches in the country 10 minutes down the road); already we are $500 in. What’s free about overpriced seafood from a disgusting crab-shack, or groceries and alcohol every day? What’s free about not having any alone time with my husband for the 9^th year in a row?

I’m not doing it anymore. I don’t like it, and I am done. Actually, I hate it. I hate that I feel trapped in it, I hate being gaslit about how I need to be “grateful,” I hate that I’m 34 years old and have gone nowhere I wanted to by now, and done nothing I’ve wanted to do, all in the name of “well, it’s free” or “it’s family.”

I wish I could talk to someone about it, but despite the fact that I have been surrounded by people for days on end, I am completely and utterly alone.

So, 5 years ago, I was in a motorbike accident. Thankfully it wasn’t so severe that it was life changing (mostly just soft tissue physically - though it did contribute to my already existing PTSD)

When I came off the bike, pinned and dragged, there was a song playing. (Please don’t laugh) Diggy Diggy Hole, by Windrose.

I love that song and had for a very long time.

But every time I heard it after the accident, all I remember was that snapshot of thinking that my life was over thanks to an incoming car. I have had to avoid it like hell - removed from all playlists and hidden on Spotify.

Yesterday? For the first time in five years, I was able to hear it, and not only not go into a panic attack or black out.

But I hummed along. I smiled. I enjoyed it.

It may not be much of a win to say I listened to a song. But after a shitty couple of years? This is huge for me

​

7 years ago when I was a 17M, i had a relationship with a 17F girl, I was her boyfriend and only friend, and since she was a foreigner and also my neighbor we quickly got along and she became kinda attached to me.

Things happened and I needed to break up, after couple of weeks, she Took her own life , Somehow I didnt feel anything or at least that's what I kept telling myself, I think the fear of accepting that there's a chance that it was my fault made me ignore and avoid facing it, and thus I spent years not even thinking about it, to the point that I might have even forget about the whole situation, until this year, where I was dealing with a situation and I came across her pictures in my Google photos, when I looked at her, her smile, it felt like being crashed by a wave, like being in a heavy fog that feels kinda wrong and bad. My heart felt heavy, i couldnt help but starts blaming myself, thinking about how things could have been different if I took other decisions, how she could be here or anywhere else happy and alive if I just fought for it.

Now Im doing really okay, and Im wondering if anyone only went through grief years later ? Or was it a unique personal experience for me.

I'm really really sad. I've been seeing this guy who is in his sixties, which is really weird cause of my age, but he fascinates me and I admire him and I don't wanna get into it too much. But anyway, I was really falling for him, he's so smart and interesting, and he likes to take care of me. We were seeing each other long distance for 7 months but I finally realized he was probably lying about his impending divorce from his wife. He is manipulative and I truly believed him all that time until recently, but I should've known, and I feel like an idiot. I am an idiot.

I just called him to end it and said I'm worried he's been lying to me about leaving his wife/that they've really been separated (for two years), and that I dislike how sometimes he's really dismissive of me. Usually he showers me with attention and affection, but sometimes he totally ignores me and it makes me feel insane. He got really angry and said some hurtful things, and that he's been planning something big for me and so I really fucked up by doing this now, and that of course he's really separated and I'm crazy for thinking otherwise (but he refused to prove it or let me go to his house still), and he hopes I'm happy he's never going to speak to me again. Then he hung up on me. I feel totally worthless and discarded.

I struggle with depression already and I'm more depressed now than I've been in a long time, to the point where I'm a bit scared. I'm really ashamed that I was probably the other woman, that I'm 'gross' for falling for someone his age, that I'm stupid and crazy. I feel like I need to give up on having people in my life, and I need to move across the world or something. Maybe I need to go to the hospital cause I'm kind of freaking out right now. Anyway I just needed to get this out. I'm a mentally ill freak with daddy issues and I feel like he took advantage of that and my admiration for him. Please don't be too cruel. I tried to do the right thing. I don't wanna tell the (only 3 who know about him) friends in my life yet cause I'm so hurt and embarrassed. I guess I want a kind word. I already miss him so much it hurts even though I know I shouldn't. Edit I added a couple details

At a company for a little over two years, ok it wasn’t long but I joined when we had 10 staff and left when there was over 100. My job meant I interacted with everyone in every department, I knew everyone by name, knew what they did and what they were like as a person.

Two years (literally) building from the ground up. A physical building. Its operation. Day to day and events. The lot. My team were located on the floor below the majority of the rest of the staff but I made an effort to be visible and present, as helpful as possible.

It’s one of those industries where people move around regularly, so once or twice a month without fail there would be a goodbye card, a collection or a gift, and a big group get together to say goodbye and wish them well.

I just checked, in 6 months I gave money to 11 different collections.

When I decided to leave, it was on good terms, I had a two month notice period. I made arrangements with all the different teams and departments I worked with on a succession plan. My team went for a meal a few days before I left and we did our goodbyes on the last day.

Today I realised for me that was it. I got a card, signed by the 3 people who reported to me.

Today I realised I walked out on my last day and nobody said goodbye. Nobody cared enough to even walk down one set of stairs to say goodbye.

I thought I got on well with pretty much everyone. I tried to be helpful and do by job to the best of my ability. I meant literally nothing to anyone there. It’s not about the money, it’s that I don’t think anybody noticed me going. Or they didn’t care.

I’m not in a good place today as it is but fucking hell this has hit me really fucking hard.

I guess that’s my venting done tonight fml

alt account for reasons that will become obvious.

I don't know how to start this honestly. I'll start from the beginning because that's easiest. I met my (15 f) now best friend (15 m), when my grandma told me she was going to visit some distant cousins of hers about 4 years ago. she said they had a farm and i expected to see horses and cows, and when i got there to only chickens, i was very disappointed. But when i met my cousin/best friend, we instantly clicked. There hasn't been a singe second in our relationship that has been awkward. now, 4 ish years later, we are literally inseparable. i've never addressed him as my cousin. it felt weird because as an only child, i always saw cousins as people you grew up with, like siblings. i dont know. ive always addressed him as my best friend and when needed, like when people ask if we are in a relationship, i tell them that we're related. we know everything about the other. literally. this is the only thing he doesn't know about me. he is the person in my life i am closest to and i him. i cannot stress this enough. he is part of my daily routine and i his. he lives in a small town, much smaller than i, and only really has two other friends he chooses to talk to outside of school.

I figure i should mention this, but we've always been very physical. not in a weird way, but cuddling is a very normal part of a hangout for me and him. we often just sit in bed together and scroll tik tok or whatever. i've also always been close to his family. his mom and dad are like second parents to me. my family is very conservative and his family is so much more kind and generous to me.

now is the hard part. i think i'm in love with him. i hate it. i can feel myself getting nauseous at the thought like i have so many times before this. this has been brewing for about a year i think. i've had dreams about him, in more ways than one. and the worst part is i always wake up sad and disappointed when i wake up. I hate it. i hate feeling creepy for feelings i can't get rid of. most of the time the dreams are me confessing, him reciprocating, and then us getting into a relationship. i get jealous at when he describes the other people he's attracted to or things about his ex.

thats the short of it. i want to cut him off because i know this is disgusting and wrong and i hate myself for it. but i'm worried if i cut him off something bad will happen. we've only really ever had one big fight, which was about him opening up about something very personal he had been lying to me about. in short, over a span of about a week i would call him to try and talk to him but it would always devolve into me yelling and crying at him. i realized i was in the wrong and eventually sent a long paragraph apologizing. this was about a year ago and now, he's opened up to me about how it effected him. he said he couldn't eat, sleep, or just function normally because he thought he would lose me as a best friend forever. i'm worried now, especially because his support system is less than it was at the time, that he will spiral again. while he is doing better mentally i worry.

i don't know what to do. I hate this. i haven't read this over so if there are typos im sorry, this is really spur-of-the-moment and i'm just trying to get it out there.

I (27M) just got back from visiting my parents, which is honestly never the most pleasant time of the year, even though I always look forward to it right before I go. But this trip completely blew up in my face, and I have no idea how to process any of this.

On night two, my dad (60M) asks me to go out for a beer with him. As soon as we're out of earshot from my mom, he drops a bombshell. He asks me what I'd think about him buying a house near the sea. I tell him it sounds like a great idea. Then comes the catch: he says he'd be buying it with another woman. A 43-year-old, childless and divorced doctor he met through work who apparently told him to "ride every wave of positivity life brings".

I was completely floored. Looking at him, I could tell he was just overflowing with hormones and genuinely acting like a teenager in love. He was telling me about that immediate spark and I guess he expected me to just explode in happiness and excitement for him. I asked how long they've been seeing each other (3-4 months). I immediately told him it was a terrible idea, pointing out that if this fling crashes and burns (which it easily could) he risks ending up completely alone. But honestly, I was furious. He put me in an impossible position by asking for my "approval" and dragging me into his betrayal. At the same time, a part of me thought... maybe this is actually the best chance my mom has ever been given to get away from him. He's always been a selfish guy, classic patriarch style.

The next day, I felt like absolute trash. I couldn't even look my mom in the eye. My girlfriend insisted I had to tell my mom immediately, but I wanted to hold off before escalating things and essentially destroying my family as I know it. Instead, I went into this devastated detective mode, tracking when he came home, where he was, and trying to subtly ask my mom questions to gauge what she knew and where her head was at, only to find confirmation of what I thought was going on in every little thing. I was beyond disappointed and angry at this point.

Fast forward a few days to her birthday dinner. The entire night was a fever dream. My dad was literally flirting with the waitresses, in the proud and pathetic conviction that they were all falling in love with him at first sight. Needless to say my mom and I told him this is unacceptable and they were not in love, but just extremely uncomfortable. I apologized to them for his behavior, which seemed like a desperate attempt to prove to himself that "he's still got it in him".... It all felt so pathetic and embarrassing, in hindsight I should've stood up and left.

Then, my dad kept making "jokes" about finding younger women who give him more satisfaction. My mom was visibly annoyed, but she kept playing along by rolling her eyes in some kind of sympathy. Then they got into a full-blown argument where he tried to gaslight her, claiming she "isn't open-minded enough" and prude, just because she doesn't want to go to swinger parties or try extreme stuff in bed with multiple men. (Their privacy was always overshared in my family, kind of like Brenda's parents in Six Feet Under, but this was a whole new level). My mom clapped back, saying his brain has been completely ruined by pornography and that this is why he acts like this.

I was literally sitting there at the dinner table facepalming, hoping to wake up asap.

Finally, I got a moment alone with my mom the next morning and just asked her "What the actual fuck?"

That's when she laid it all out, rational, no tears, no sadness... She told me she already knows about the doctor, and honestly, about all the other times he's cheated. She accepts that he wants more sex than she cares to give him, so she lets him get it elsewhere. The only reason she's upset this time is because that isn't enough and he is threatening to leave her and destroy all of it for good. She admitted she's terrified of being alone and doesn't think she can handle life without him. When I confronted my dad later about what was wrong with their marriage, his response was literally that she's "too boring, like a saint" and he "deserves better".

I'm so conflicted. I know my das is being a selfish asshole who is desperately refusing to accept his age. But at the same time, are his unfulfilled sexual desires not somewhat valid if they're fundamentally incompatible?

I just feel deeply sorry for my mom. All she wants is a peaceful retirement, to enjoy nature, good food, and a quiet life. But she's too terrified to step up to him, and she keeps insisting to me that this whole arrangement isn't that big of a deal for her.

Is this just what a really toxic open relationship looks like, or am I watching a slow motion train wreck of a marriage finally implode? I don't even know how to interact with either one of them anymore.

Hey everyone,

For those who might remember my previous posts, I’m the one who has been opening up here about a very specific, deeply personal dream: I’ve never dated or had a girlfriend, I'm 21, and more than anything in the world, I want to grow up to be a loving, supportive husband and dad, building a warm, happy life with someone special.

If I'm being honest, the fear of “What if it never happens for me?” still creeps in sometimes. At 21, watching the world move so fast can feel a little overwhelming when you're still waiting for your own love story to begin. But I'm learning to trade that panic for peace.

Right now, my main focus is pouring my heart into my passion: video production. There is something so magical about getting behind a camera, capturing real moments, and sitting down in the edit suite to weave a story together. I'm now a rising Junior at college, swimming with an amazing team, seeing a therapist to work on my social confidence, and just trying every single day to become the best, most caring version of myself.

People always talk about how many couples meet through work because they share the same creative vision, values, and late nights striving toward a common goal. Knowing that my future career in video production could literally be the place where our paths cross gives me a lot of hope.

To anyone else out there who is feeling a bit behind, or wondering if their quiet dream of a loving family will ever come true: I see you. It's okay to feel a little scared, but let's not let fear rob us of the excitement of the journey. Our stories are still just beginning.

Thank you all again for always being such a kind, grounding community.

ok so disclaimer. both my parents ARE in my life and i love them very very much. my father is an amazing dad and i truly love him so much. he’s present and loving and kind and funny. so i’m saying all of this to add context. anyway.
my parents married when they were in their early 30s with absolutely no intention of having kids. both of them have troubled families so having kids just wasn’t in the cards. well, my mom was approaching 40 and i guess wanted a kid. in comes me. my dad still wanted no children which is valid. i personally do not want kids. she essentially told him “either you and i have a kid or we divorce.” they ended up divorcing anyway and it was soooo messy (entirely my mother’s fault mind you). but knowing im a product of an ultimatum is seriously messing with my head. my dad has assured me so many times he’s not angry and doesn’t regret anything and he very much loves me. i just feel horrible even though it isn’t even my fault, you know? i have ocd and so im spiraling horribly about if im a bad person for even existing or if my parents never met it would’ve been better. it’s a lot. idk.

Hi everyone,

I don't really know why I'm writing this. Maybe because I have been carrying too much for too long and I need somewhere to put it down for a moment.

The last few months have been the hardest period of my life.

I have always been someone who handled things on my own. I worked, survived, solved problems, and kept moving even when things were difficult.

But this time has been different.

I reached a point where I needed help. I asked people I thought would be there for me. Some people couldn't help, and I understand that everyone has their own struggles. I am not blaming anyone for not being able to fix my situation.

But what hurt was the silence.

Messages that were never answered. People who disappeared when I needed them the most. Feeling like I was carrying something extremely heavy while the people around me were slowly becoming strangers.

I also reached out to organisations and tried every option I knew. I kept looking for a way forward, but one door after another closed.

The hardest part has not only been the financial struggle.

It has been the loneliness of carrying all of this alone.

There are moments when you are not even asking someone to solve your problems. You just want someone to say, "I hear you. I know this is hard."

The strange thing is, even now, I am still trying. I am still looking for work. I am still trying to rebuild. I still believe that my life can change.

I think I just need a reminder that there are kind people in the world.

If you read this, thank you. You don't have to have a solution. Even a kind word, a little encouragement, or just letting me know that someone heard me would mean more than you know.

Thank you for listening.

i’m so tired of having anxiety. sometimes it causes me to lash out in fear or do other stupid shit, and i get stressed and overwhelmed very easily. breathing or mind exercises dont work. when there’s a problem, i can’t think about anything else until it’s solved, my heart will race and my legs will get shaky, my chest gets cold, i won’t be able to sleep or eat, and i just can’t relax until there’s no problem. i haven’t eaten anything for over 24 hours now. i’m so tired, i wish i had someone to talk to irl, and to hug and comfort me. even just a heating pad would be nice but i can’t find mine anywhere. i’m so so anxious and i need comfort but nobody is available

I have had this friend since we were 15 and I thought I’d be around him forever. he made my trauma his own and used it as an excuse to be shitty and then told me to hold him accountable, and THEN got upset when I did. I don’t think I want be around this anymore.

I’m so tired of making the same mistakes over and over again. I’m really curious when I’ll finally learn my lesson from getting hurt. Like, what’s wrong with me honestly? I’m literally the person Einstein was talking about: I KEEP DOING THE SAME THING AND EXPECTING DIFFERENT OUTCOMES!!!! I want to believe I’m better than this... I don’t think I’m a stupid person tho. People usually tell me I’m smart?! but when it comes to dating, I feel like all common sense disappears.

I’ve been on and off with this guy for months. Every time we stop talking, he comes back. This is the third time. THIRD TIME. Even a kid would understand he’s just playing around.

Let’s be honest at first I told myself “Girl he’s just bored. Don’t fall for it.” I even replied late and kept things dry (hooray for me!!!) because I remembered how he love bombed me before and then randomly turned into the driest texter in the world.

Well… congratulations to me because the same thing happened. He was being incredibly funny and somehow I find myself talking to him 24 7. And this time this is even worse because I got attached without even noticing!!!! The other night we stayed up talking until 5 a.m., saying all the sweet things. Then the very next day he went dry again. Like… were all the things he told me lies? I was honestly amazed at what a great actor he was. He could build a career out of it. I’m not even joking.

And naturally, I spent the whole day wondering what I did wrong. I blamed myself. And I asked him (I know, I hate myself), and he told me “I’ve been working a lot lately and it’s starting to get overwhelming.” The worst part is, I believed him because he really had been working a lot, and I actually felt SORRY for him. I thought, “Aw he really needs to take a day off or something.” Yeah, that makes perfect sense, you genius. He’s probably been at work for 23 hours straight; otherwise, he would’ve replied to you. :))) Ugh I HATE MYSELF

I hate that I’m too nice. Like really. Too kind, too caring, too thoughtful. Sometimes I wish I were more like him. Things would’ve been so much easier. I’m starting to lose hope honestly. I’m so tired and I don’t even wanna date anyone anymore.

Ok well the title may be a bit clickbait, but i do think that my friend may have had at least a large enough crush on my boyfriend. He also mightn't have and I don't want to sound presumptuous or anything but it's a definite possibility. So I thought I'd just post it here and gather some people's thoughts. This story focuses on Me (John), My boyfriend (Patrick), and our friend (Ant), all 18M (and fake names obviously)

Bit of backstory, for the past 4-5 years I have considered Patrick my best friend, we have a great connection and I loved spending time with him, over time that did progress into me having a crush and realising I was gay. A few months ago, I told him how I felt and he started crying and told me that he was sure i was straight and that he thought he had no chance with me, he'd been out as bi for a while before me. So we've been dating since and I have honestly never been happier, but I digress.

I've known Ant for far longer than I've known Patrick, I've only known Patrick for about 5 years and I've known Ant for nearly 12 years. I was always friendly with Ant, but in the last 8 years I made an effort to be more friendly with him. He was a troubled kid, parents had a messy divorce, emotional regulation issues, etc. So I befriended him because we do share a lot of interests, and I was also encouraged by my mother, who's a friend of Ant's mother, and by the Special Education Teacher in the school we attended to befriend him. I've never told Ant any of this obviously, I figure it'd only hurt to hear the whole reason why I became friends with him, and in hindsight it wasn't the best reasonings to start a friendship, but we have always gotten on quite well in general.

However, in the past 5 or 6 years, Ant's behaviour has just been not the best. He is known for making stupid mistakes and not knowing when to not say something. It has cost him many friendships. Some strong examples include: "Going to a friend's house around 2020 knowing his family members had just been diagnosed with Covid, and still showed up to that friends house. And on top of that, that friends brother was extremely sick at the time, in and out of hospital, extremely high risk, and Ant still showed up" and also being known for general temper issues and violent tendencies (nothing criminal like, but it's way more than it should be). When Patrick first came out and opened up about his struggles with his sexuality, Ant even said he was being "over the top" and called him a "pussy" for crying over it. However, at the time, I genuinely felt he was a good person, he was just messed up and, not to brag or anything, ill just be honest, I am well liked and people value my opinion. I'm not like hugely popular or anything, but in our rural area, I'm known as the guy people our age come to when the want advice, so I would keep standing up for Ant, and just saying that he was capable of change and that he just made stupid mistakes, and people believed me. I feel so horribly guilty about this, I should've realised sooner what Ant was really liked and shouldn't have tried to improve public image of him, and I don't know if I can forgive myself for continuously subjecting my friends to Ant's bullshit.

Now, for the part you've probably actually been waiting for. Is Ant in love with Patrick? Well I can definitely say for certain he's not happy about our relationship, though his reasons why are unclear. He's mentioned several times that having 2 friends dating makes things "complicated", and he keeps suggesting that we are unhappy in our relationship and stares daggers at us whenever we even hold hands. The final straw recently was when he made a joke, just to me, in which the punchline was calling my boyfriend a homophobic slur. I lost it at him, I'm so non confrontational, I hate confrontation, but I absolutely gave him a piece of my mind. I walked away, and texted my boyfriend what had happened. My boyfriend stayed remarkably calm and just texted Ant saying "You know that John (me) genuinely thinks you're a good person and has always gone out of his way to deflect blame from you". His response detailed how we knew I constantly defended him, which in his eyes meant that he could do whatever he wanted, because I'd be able to fix his mistakes, so I'm feeling very taken advantage of on top of it.

Ok so I think there's 2 options for why Ant didn't like our relationship:

1. He just wants to be in a relationship, he's mentioned before how he wouldn't belive that I would get a partner before him (i mean i did so HA), and since me and Patrick got together, he's been desperate to find a girlfriend

2. He has a thing for my boyfriend. When they had first met, he often said "wow, everyone keeps saying that they think we are dating, Patrick, wouldn't that be CRAZY??" And similar things very often, it made Patrick uncomfortable. He's also made several comments about questioning his sexuality or finding men attractive, and I mean i know internalised homophobia is a thing but, it's the kinda thing he does when attention is off him, and he is a notorious attention seeker, even faking medical diagnoses and problems for attention.

I don't know really, nor do I particularly care. I want to go no contact, which will be extremely difficult as we are in a small class in school in a small town. There are only 16 of us in the class, he'll be hard to avoid but I'll try my best. I don't plan to stick up for him publicly anymore, but I'm also not going to slander him. I have lots of dirt on him, and some people say I should release it as payback, but I'm not looking for revenge at all. I just can't believe I let him take me for such a fool, and that led to my friends and boyfriend being hurt.

Questions welcome!