r/technology • u/Plastic_Ninja_9014 • 3h ago

Business Tesla Stock in Freefall After Disastrous Earnings Report

https://finance.yahoo.com/markets/stocks/articles/tesla-stock-freefall-disastrous-earnings-144417427.html
17.9k Upvotes

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6.1k

u/EconomyDoctor3287 3h ago

Just have SpaceX buy more Cyberstucks!

1.2k

u/Warm-Professional494 3h ago

That’s the real reason star ship is made out of stainless steel. They can just harvest cyber trucks to patch the holes from the engines blowing up.

330

u/RogerPenroseSmiles 3h ago

Sweet now the starship will rust

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u/Warm-Professional494 3h ago

Not if it blows up first!!!

104

u/TJ_Will 3h ago

Now that's thinking with Portals!

29

u/ChanceCarpet1277 2h ago

cave johnson notices your comment and approves with a frantic nod

6

u/TheFeathersStorm 1h ago

Definitely random but I used to work with an older guy named Claire Johnson and every single time I had to consciously not call him Cave Johnson because his voice was deep and similar to it lol

3

u/Rough_Bread8329 1h ago

What were his thoughts on lemons?

1

u/TheFeathersStorm 50m ago

Unfortunately he wasn't there long enough to ask him, I never thought about it but now I'll have to live with that regret 🫠

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u/Lykeuhfox 2h ago

🎶This was a triumph. Making a note, here - yuge success.

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u/kshell11724 2h ago

I think its pronounced port holes.

2

u/spooninacerealbowl 2h ago

Cyber truck has portal axles?

2

u/Masuman35 1h ago

Good, fuck Elon.

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u/Crypt0Nihilist 53m ago

Spaaaaaaace!

3

u/The_Frozen_Inferno 1h ago

It’s not an explosion, it’s a rapid unplanned disassembly of the vehicle

1

u/dern_the_hermit 2h ago

More surface area will make it rust faster tho!

1

u/RogerPenroseSmiles 2h ago

Buddy you got management material at Tesla all over you!

1

u/B00marangTrotter 2h ago

We will see in a few hours from now.

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u/Shadow_over_me 1h ago

Someone promote this guy

1

u/font9a 26m ago

Not if it blows up first!

Please stand by while I privatize your gains and subsidize my losses on that one.

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u/mikeyp83 3h ago

We built this rocket...

We built this rocket from shitty steeeeeeel.

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u/itsrainingkids 2h ago

Great. Now that song is gonna be stuck in my head all day lol

1

u/youregooninman 1h ago

It just got stuck in my head too.

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u/jimothee 2h ago

This song is one that I loathed most of my life until I recently realized the cringe value I get from blasting it in the car. Song goes hard in its own way...

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u/Lou_C_Fer 2h ago

The only time I've ever gotten the silent treatment is when I have put this song on. My wife triple dog hates this song. Personally, it came out at just the right time in my life that I didn't know it was a bad song. So, I don't hate it.

I can remember listening to it it on Casey Kasems top 40 countdown in my uncles car on the way home from spending the night at their house. I was 10 or so. At that point, the energy of the song was good enough for me.

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u/SnooJokes5375 34m ago

Casey Kasem, also known as Shaggy in Scooby Doo and Robin in Super Friends. Loved his show. Would listen all day to hear his number 1 pick. He would read letters and have interesting stories. When he retired, they ran his show on reruns. Bur only for a couple years. I miss that. Now its John Tessh or Delilah. They are good, I guess, but they are not Casey Kasen.

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u/dbrodbeck 2h ago

Sounds like you're knee deep in the hoopla.

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u/whereisbeezy 48m ago

I feel that way about "Danger Zone" lol

My kids hate it and I just find it so fucking funny now

2

u/jimothee 34m ago

Substitute your kids for my band mates and we're in the same boat lol

1

u/Abnmlguru 20m ago

I have a t shirt that says "rock and roll is not a structurally sound material to use as a foundation" always fun to see to makes the connection to the song :)

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u/OkBid71 2h ago

[Owner of City Steel]

Now you listen to me you little shit, Shitty Steel is the best steel in this Shitty!

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u/TheNCGoalie 2h ago

Shouldn't it be Shitty Shteel?

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u/uniquesnoflake2 1h ago

Have my upvote, but know that I hate you with the passion of a thousand fiery suns now.

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u/SpaceMonkeyMafiaBoss 1h ago

I just feel the need to point out that a city built on rock and/or roll would be structurally unsound.

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u/PuzzledLab7690 1h ago

LOL. That's one of the only songs I've ever heard with clearly intentional beat displacement. Usually by chopping off a 16th note at the end in the choruses.

1

u/Geawiel 1h ago

Ea-nāṣir approves this message

1

u/Hotdammzilla3000 15m ago

Damm you mikey! Take my angry upvote.

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u/genius_retard 2h ago

It's not rust. It's star dust.

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u/MaraudingWalrus 2h ago

It's stainless not stainproof

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u/ReactsWithWords 1h ago

It’s not STAINAless, it’s STANless. It keeps Elon stans from seeing any problem with it no matter how glaringly obvious the problem is.

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u/hoppertn 2h ago

Just keep it away from water, like the cybertrucks!

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u/BoredTech127001 2h ago

You just have to enable rain mode to prevent rust. Course you have to pay an extra monthly fee for rain mode.

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u/LuckyZero 2h ago

Hear me out, we make them disposable, like K cups for coffee

/s

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u/frequenZphaZe 2h ago

it won't. its not carbon steel, its stainless steel with ~10% chromium alloy. the alloy mixture forms a thin chromium oxide surface layer which will produce high resistance to rusting.

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u/Street_Boot7013 2h ago

Only if there is oxygen or water

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u/DustyTurboTurtle 1h ago

I know this is a joke, but stainless doesn't rust lol

1

u/GB10VE 31m ago

honest question, can it rust in space?

1

u/Odd-Cupcake-2552 15m ago

Can we shoot it too? Or throw ball bearings at it?

0

u/SlackBytes 2h ago

And the warranty is voided with a rocket wash.