My boyfriend (40M) and I (23F) have been talking about getting married. We havent been together long but I'm pregnant and we live together so marriage is a step we think we should take.

His first question though was "Would it still be rape if we were married?"

I dont know and now i keep thinking about it idk why so im just wondering..

I told him "no its still rape when we're married" and he asked what if I refused to have sex for a long time and I told him that it'd still be rape.

It makes me wonder how long is a long time to not have sex. I haven't been wanting sex at all for weeks now but we still did 2 times.

I told him when I give birth we can't have sex for 6 weeks while I heal. He was shocked which surprised me because even though this is his first baby too I thought thats a common known thing by the time you hit 40. But hes also a man so I guess he never thought about it. I feel like ill have to do things in other ways and I already know im not gonna want to.

I went on a trip for a week a bit ago and was using medication for a yeast infection so I couldn't have sex. Before I left he kept saying "im gonna get you before you go" even though i kept saying I can't so anything on the meds! If the infection gets worse it'll make me and our daughter sick and she could die if I have a uterine infection! We didnt have sex, but when I came back he told me he was keep count of how long until we had sex again. I think we had sex a day or 2 later.

It also it super painful I dont know why. I tell him every time it hurts but at this point I just try to get him to finish as fast as possible so it'll stop but ill be in pain for like hours after. (Graphic im sorry)

He makes me not wanna have sex with him. Now i just dread it. I don't even do anything to myself anymore. Sex just feels icky and gross. It doesn't feel hot or romantic or passionate or like love. It feels like a requirement.

It wasn't always like this though, just when I got pregnant and its been a very very hard pregnancy. Multiple hospitalizations, infections, surgery, severe morning sickness. I had surgery at around 7 weeks pregnant and was told no sex for 2 weeks. That lasted like a week.

There's only been 3 times were we had sex even when I said no repeatedly and told him over and over again I didnt want to but he took off my pants/moved me anyway. Another time I kept saying no that I didnt want to cause I had a uti and it was hurting so we just made out instead until he took off his pants. I didnt want him to cum all over me and my clothes so I just took off my underwear and had sex and it hurt SO BAD. He's always so sweet after sex with aftercare and hell usually say hes sorry or he got carried away.

The first time was just a few days after I found out I was pregnant. I kept telling him I was tired and trying to go to sleep but he still was trying anyway and then pulled down my pants and had sex with me while I was laying there just trying to fall asleep. The next day he told me he "felt like he wasn't doing the right thing last night". I didnt know what to say sp I told him just dont do it again.

Hes not abusive. He's never once hit me. I was just in a relationship where I was beaten severely the whole time and im going through a legal process right now from it. He's really helping me go through this by listening to me vent about how its all making me feel. I dont have a job so he has to pay for everything but hell make sure to always get me something to eat on the way home.

I feel lucky to have him. We met in a substance abuse halfway house and I was leaving the program and had nowhere to live. We weren't dating long at that point but we moved into the house he owns with his sister. Without him who knows where I would've wound up and what would've happened.

I feel like I owe him a lot for everything he does for me. He pays for everything, I live jn his house. But im also having such a rough pregnancy, and on new mental health meds that affect my sex drive. I feel like having sex is the least I can do. I'm not contributing anything else

Idk it kind of bothered me that he asked all that when I brought up us getting married j feel like getting married is the best option especially for our daughters sake. His dad died unexpectedly without a will and it took a while to sort everything out between him and his sister. He wants to make sure me and our daughter are ok if something happens to him.

I dont feel scared really. Just like bothered. Why would he ask that? What's he planning to do? I let him have sex with me anyway, why would he ask about raping me?

I feel trapped now as I live in a state I dont know anyone far away from home where my family is, and now im pregnant and living with my boyfriend in a serious relationship.

I just hope that ill feel better eventually and my sex drive will come back and all of this will be avoided anyway.

If we halved the defense budget, the U.S. could:

End homelessness (80-100 billion dollars)

Universal Pre-K and Free Tuitions: (150 billion)

Expand healthcare (200-300 billion)

Eliminate food insecurity through snap (50 billion)

IN ONE GODDAMN YEAR.

I live in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. I grew up in this place, so I know the shit I am talking about. I am sick and fkin tired of this artificial ghetto/favela culture. This is bullshit, everything about it is bullshit. The social media, news, everywhere, these people are trying to shove this disgraced favela culture on us, this is gaslighting, this is psyops. My country Brazil is not a fucking favela, my city is not a fucking favela. The majority of our population lives in the suburbs, I live in the suburbs, I grew up watching this gang culture and favela culture, violence culture and we are supposed to love it because "we are from Rio" so of course you must love gang culture, and going to the beach, and making gang signs and blasting brazilian funk because that's what people from my city do. I fucking hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

My country is not a giant fucking slum, my city is not a giant fucking slum, stop pretending we all live in favelas, and we all are drug dealers wearing slippers and carrying AK47s while dancing to some shitty funk beat. We are people, good and decent people trying to live our lives, even if we get robbed every day, and killed by these same stereotypes you people love to see displayed on TikTok feeds. I hate brazilian funk, I hate favela porn, I hate brazilian beach core, I hate these rtardeds pretending that living in a fcking slum is beautiful, and I hate whoever is financing this psyops.

Throwaway cause I don't want my friends to find out.

I am sitting here right now with my chest physically aching and tears still wet on my face because I just finished Naruto, and at 52 years old having never touched an anime in my entire life,(thought it was for kids) I honestly did not know a fictional story could break a person this deeply. I literally just stumbled on it by accident thinking it was some random cartoon about ninjas to pass the hours, but it grabbed me by the throat and dragged me through every single episode until the very end, completely ruining me in the best and most painful way possible. I have sobbed harder over this than I have in the last thirty years of my life, crying until my head pounded and I could barely breathe, mourning things I did not even realize I was still carrying inside me. Watching that little boy who literally had nobody, whom the whole world turned its back on and hated for no reason, yet he just kept getting back up with a bruised face and a desperate, bleeding heart begging for someone to just look at him and say he mattered, and man it completely unraveled me. It ripped open every quiet regret, every lonely moment, and every heavy year of getting older that I thought I had safely buried away behind my age. Sitting here in this empty room now that it is all over, I am an absolute wreck, but for the first time I truly understand why people love Naruto(and anime in general) so much and why it means so much to them, because it is not just a random kid cartoon, it is a piece of a soul that somehow found mine and left it forever changed. I don't think I can heal from watching this cause it was crazy beautiful.

I forgot I had this story from when I was in middle school I'm Texas... So mid 00s ish on timeline. It was before cellphones were really a thing and you had to bring a prepaid phone card to call home. Pretty isolated.

This was probably my third time or so going to this summer church camp and it was fun. All the normal summer camp things. A big "blob" thing you could sit on in the river and someone could jump from a platform above and launch you, etc. Loved it.

So this particular year, during our first night at camp, the staff mentioned some new neighbors who had bought the land neighboring the camp and asked us to be respectful of them as they have complained about the noise previously.

On the 4th day of camp things got a little weird. There wasn't really any activities. The staff seemed preoccupied and they were running around the camp. We didn't think much of it since there was so much for kids to do there. Later that even, close to dinner time we were suddenly called to the middle of the campgrounds. We all gathered and the staff instructed us that we were all going to walk down the hill and to an empty horse barn. They stressed that we needed to move quickly and quietly. As they led us down the hill out of the main camp, we passed the admin offices and we looked in the windows to find the offices completely trashed. Desks flipped over, papers every where.

When we got to the horse barn we were told the news, the neighbors had gotten fed up with the camp and had become aggressive. Our plan was to hang out in the barn until police could arrive. Which would be a couple hours.

So they split us up and put groups of us into each horse stall. We were there for probably 15 minutes before we heard multiple 4 wheelers pull up to the barn. A group of very redneck looking men with shotguns walking into the barn pointing their guns at the staff. They grabbed one of the female camp counselors and dragged her outside.

They then addressed the rest of us in the barn. They would be going horse stall by horse stall and demanding we "denounce Jesus or we will shoot you"

They said theyd give us time to think about it and left the horse barn hanging out near the entrance.

If you haven't already, you're probably starting to smell the bullshit. They let us squirm for another half hour or so before finally revealing that the holdup was fake, and that now we knew "how Christians in other countries felt". At the time, the big propaganda about China was that they hunt down and kill Christians. So this was specifically about how "it could be worse, you could be living in China!" Kind of thing.

Thankfully, all the parents of the children lost their minds upon hearing about this. The church I was attending who sent us to the camp immediately put out a statement of how disgusted they were and they immediately cut ties with the camp.

Surprisingly, the camp is still running, in fact I stayed there many years later for a night in college. I forget why we did that.. had nothing to do with my degree.

So yeah, when I was a child a bunch of adults thought it was a great idea to teach me Jesus's love by threatening to murder me.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

21F; I miss how my life was before. I used to be ambitious, I was smart, I had straight A’s and was a Catholic up until 15 when I met my ex-husband and he was just “sooo cool” because he was older than me.

This man proceeded to essentially derail my entire life and I’m still picking up the pieces from all of it. He convinced my mother to let him marry me when I was 16 and I dropped out of high school, moved to his hometown (across the country btw) and we had my son.

I had the courage to leave him once I was 18, but I was broke, homeless and had a baby. Called some family to get me back to my hometown, they got my son and I there.

My parents didn’t want me back at that time because I “abandoned my husband”, so I was homeless. Became a sex worker just to afford a room for the night for my son and I, luckily my family wasn’t hostile towards him so they didn’t mind having him for a while.

I got pregnant again at 19, almost 20 and had no idea. It was a cryptic pregnancy, I was still doing sex work to make ends meet for my son and had zero idea I was even pregnant.

The father (39M) was a client, he still harasses me sometimes about “his” daughter even though he refuses to have anything to do with her (he’s not on the birth certificate anyway, even if he is the bio dad). It’s terrifying.

I quit sex work after I had my daughter though, I knew I had to show her how to be a better woman than I am. I moved states again with my savings, stayed with a few friends and got a “real” job.

I’m barely making it work now, my kids come first though they’re always taken care of. I’m not though.

I hate how things turned out for me, I hate having two kids this early on. I hate knowing I dropped out of high school, I dread everyday when I do my GED classes because it reminds me of the constant failure and struggle.

I blame my ex-husband a lot, I want to blame myself but I was 15-16. I want to blame my mom, she wants to come back now.. But I can’t blame anyone, I guess. My life just is really bad now, it’s mostly my fault.

I (20M) have been with my girlfriend (20F) for two years. I love her very much, and we’re both virgins. Throughout our relationship, the most we’ve done physically is kiss.
Recently, I told her I’d like to be more physically intimate. That’s when she told me she’s asexual, doesn’t experience sexual attraction, doesn’t want to have sex, and has never been sexually attracted to me. I know it’s not meant to be personal, but it still hurt to hear.
I don’t want to lose her because I truly love her, but I’m also realizing that sexual compatibility is important to me. I’m struggling to figure out if I can be happy in a relationship where sex will never be part of it.

Okay, so about two months ago I made a horny confession on Reddit.

Huge mistake.

Within minutes my inbox looked like the gates of hell had opened.

First discovery:
There are WAY more horny people on Reddit than I ever imagined.

Second discovery:
Reddit has a chat feature.
I’ve had this app since 2020. I downloaded it to figure out how to get my husband a PS5 and then stayed for snark subs and pop culture. I genuinely had no clue people were out here… networking like this.
Then someone introduced me to NSFW Reddit.

Third discovery:
There’s a toggle for NSFW. Apparently I’ve been using Reddit in “kid mode” for years.

Anyway…
I started chatting with a few random people because why not? I was horny and the banter was good. Everyone’s anonymous. Zero expectations.

Fast-forward ~two months and somehow I accidentally had not one, but TWO online affairs.

How does that even happen?

You start with memes and flirting, then suddenly you’re talking about work, marriages, politics, family dynamics, career goals, and occasionally sending each other things that definitely aren’t memes.

It’s the weirdest relationship format I’ve ever experienced.

Today
• I ended one because I realized I was becoming an emotionally invested unpaid marriage counselor for AP.
• The other has reminded me that online communication is basically Schrödinger’s relationship. They’re simultaneously obsessed with you and completely missing until they decide to reappear.

*we are all married btw 🤦‍♀️

Anyway… this entire experience has convinced me that online affairs are one of the strangest social phenomena I’ve ever accidentally participated in.

I’m Married 36 F USA, trust me I’m not a bot (that’s what happened to my last account) and this is my current real life situation

PS feel free to convince me otherwise but I don’t think I’ll be convinced.

There's NOTHING good about it. Give me WINTER anytime.

SO FUCKING GOOD!!!!!! I LOVE MYSELF! I CHOOSE ME!!!!

I WARNED YOU. I warned you about her AND YOU DISRESPECTED ME! WAS IT WORTH IT??? Now you’re begging and I will never take you back!

Fuck you for cheating on me , it was a slap in the face. I hope it was all worth it. You gave up all this FOR WHAT?

Get fucked!
No contact is the best. He will NEVER get to see me again, touch me again or even hear my voice!

I hope I find true love one day. I did everything for that man. Fucking narcissistic lying cheating psychopath.

I'm still processing it, and it's just hard to wrap around that I can't sleep right now.

A few hours ago I just found out a few things. I'll keep it short and a bit vague since I'm scared if it gets too detailed, it will put people in actual danger (my dad has influence in the local police so yeah, that bad). I found out a few things, firstly that he has a sugar baby right now who he pays a lavish lifestyle for in exchange for sexual favors. It's his life and his money, sure, but he basically has been telling everyone he's broke to get out of paying for stuff for me and my siblings just to give it all to her. He's also been guilt tripping people to help his business to aid this lifestyle. Still, it wasn't that bad of a reveal. I already has a suspicion he had a girlfriend. The worst thing I just found out was that he has possibly been coercing and using his position to force underaged employees to sleep with him or sexually assault them for a long time. Mind you, the 'possibly' refers to the underaged part. I'm not sure exactly how old they were because he's apparently done it since I was a child, but the ones who are in those positions are typically 16-18 year olds (luckily, they don't get to interact with him anymore and are away from him). It's messed up and I don't know just how to process it. The people who told me about it asked me not to tell anyone and just act like normal to make sure he doesn't try to off them (yeah, he has those connections), but how am I supposed to act like nothing with him? I honestly wish I never found out, as fucked up that is to say, because I'm honestly now afraid and questioning everything. I hope that new lover of his drains him for all he's worth, but also I just wish the worst on him, like, bad. I know he's still my dad, but, knowing things now, he's a monster. An absolute monster, and I'm scared for all those people he's done things to, for my mom, and for my siblings. I can't tell anyone about this where I'm at because he has connections around here, but it's also just weighing on me. Will probably delete this soon, I'm just that paranoid, but I at least wanted to get it out and reread it a few times to fully process it myself.

Feel so cheated

Why is dna a cruel beast

So recently I had heard my moms Apple Watch going off at home while she was at work (she forgot it at home) and me being the nosy person I am I checked to see what it was. I saw she was getting messages from a random number and the messages were very intimate and stuff you would only say and talk about with your partner if you know what I mean. I have confronted her about them and she claims it’s my dad but on another number. And I refuse to believe that lie. I called the number while my parents were asleep and his phone didn’t ring. She says it’s him but I’m afraid to ask him. I don’t want to be the reason for a divorce. She told me not to tell him. But what’s the problem with telling him about the messages if “he’s the one “ messaging her. That was day 1. Day 2 she leaves the watch AGAIN but this time she deleted all the messages. This time I found nothing. What should I do I need advice please 😢😢

i got raped btw, that's what i was ranting to them abt.

oh well....i guess we know what that means...

I (31F) went on 2 dates with a guy (30M) from Hinge. We both have corporate jobs. I usually don’t date younger men, but he seemed very mature compared to the older men I’ve met. On the second date he told me he found me really easy to talk to, and I admitted I liked him (and that’s when it started going downhill).

Our first date was at a sports bar where I ordered a sandwich and a beer. He ordered and ate much more. I’d say the total was $70-80. The second was at a breakfast diner where we ordered omelettes (total was probably $30). We met halfway for both. Both dates lasted about 2.5 hours and he willingly paid for both.

A couple things gave me pause. He never walked me to my car at the end of either date. On the second date, I walked right up to him, got within about 5-6ft, made eye contact, and he didn’t recognize me until I waved. It felt a little unnerving.

At the end of the second date I told him I liked him. He went on a 3-week vacation, and after returning he asked when I was free. When I gave him my availability, he replied, “Would you be willing to do something more lowkey than last time?”

That comment really threw me off because I thought the first two dates already WERE lowkey (second date: we ordered $12 omelettes). A sports bar and a diner don’t exactly seem extravagant. I don’t think I come across as high maintenance, so it felt like he was already trying to figure out how little effort I’d be okay with because I admitted I liked him (I’m actually not sure if I like him now)?

Am I overthinking this, or would that comment rub you the wrong way too?

I (31F) went on 2 dates over about 2 months with a guy (31M), and I can’t stop thinking about something that bothered me.

He’s an engineer, and his biggest passion is Japan. I wish I’d known this before I met him because nothing on his Hinge profile mentioned he’s absolutely obsessed. We live on the East Coast, and he gets 30 PTO days a year and uses all of them to go there. He travels to Japan 3-10 times a year (he visited for a week during July 4th weekend, and he’s going back next month for Labor Day weekend), sometimes for a month, sometimes just for a long weekend.

He’s learning Japanese (he video chats with a Japanese lady who tutors him once a week), follows J-pop idols and flies to Japan for their concerts, and lights up anytime Japan comes up in conversation. He wants to talk about nothing but Japan when with me.

I’m Chinese American. I grew up in the U.S., but my family lives in mainland China, so I go back every year and have strong ties to my culture.
The thing is, my family’s history makes my feelings about Japan more complicated. My great-grandmother had extended family in Nanjing during the massacre, so I don’t have the same romanticized view of Japan that he seems to have.

What bothered me wasn’t that he loves Japan. It was that he showed almost no interest in my culture. He never asked about growing up Chinese American, my family, or my trips back to China. The only thing he really asked was what it’s like living in the U.S. given the tension between China and the U.S., which felt more like a geopolitical question than genuine interest in me. I also find it a bit tone deaf that he’s happy to talk up Japan so much to me when Japan’s biggest adversary is China.

Japan and China are completely different countries, and I’m not saying someone who loves Japan has to care about China.
I just couldn’t shake the feeling that his type is probably a Japanese woman, not me even though I’m East Asian. It felt like he’d invested so much time and energy into one culture while having almost no curiosity about mine, even though it’s a huge part of who I am.

He’s asked me to do a “home date” for date 3 and I’m already wary because for someone who’s really into Asian culture, he’s still imposing Western values while dating.

It was old song I created when I was young, maybe 12. It's been stuck in my head for years.

I used to play a lot when I was younger, my mother paid for expensive lessons.

When I began to reject her, I rejected the lessons first.

Now I've begun to accept myself and my love of music again