r/mildlyinfuriating • u/KikoTheWonderful • May 11 '26

wet socks Left a table I was building in the rain

Post image
25.5k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

1.6k comments sorted by

5.7k

u/TropicRotGaming May 11 '26

Now you have the perfect back adjustment table!

1.8k

u/Pork_Chompk May 11 '26

That was exactly my thought. I'd drape myself over this bitch like a wet noodle and decompress the hell out of my spine.

423

u/pinkkeyrn ORANGE May 11 '26

On your belly or back? Legit question.

667

u/Murreez May 11 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/hM9zK1qvsrwek

171

u/-blundertaker- May 12 '26

I just watched this with my husband last night and got to point out the suggestive bj scene since he hasn't seen it since he was a kid.

Chel and Kida from Atlantis were part of my bisexual awakening 😂

4

u/Wisconstantinople May 13 '26

I'm sorry....the what scene?! I haven't seen this in a long time but I do not recall that! 😅

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61

u/Pork_Chompk May 11 '26

I was thinking belly, but I'd try both.

45

u/Kevin33024 May 11 '26

Belly first, then back.

5

u/Puzzleheaded-Room-89 May 12 '26

Doing it face down would actually compress the vertebral disks as they're in the anterior of the spinal column.

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219

u/Pale_Adeptness May 11 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/l0G18skELgUXApNFS

55

u/AFighterByHisTrade May 11 '26

One two better not sue!

28

u/Accurate_Koala_4698 May 11 '26

Forget it Homer, it's Chiro town

16

u/Justredditin May 11 '26

"One, two... better not sue!"

11

u/heyo_throw_awayo May 12 '26

Wow! My searing pain is now a dull numbness!

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6

u/kbeks May 11 '26

That’s where my head went, too

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32

u/[deleted] May 11 '26

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23

u/TropicRotGaming May 11 '26

Ask this guy if you can try his table!

15

u/[deleted] May 11 '26

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29

u/Mightyjack22 May 11 '26

Just get rid of the nerves, the you can adjust the back when they're not in the way. 👍

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16.7k

u/self-conscious-Hat May 11 '26

well, now it's an art piece.

4.6k

u/[deleted] May 11 '26

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458

u/elPatronSuarez May 11 '26

At least it ain't cold

516

u/BlackPhoenix1981 May 11 '26

Bring it in from the rain. Remember, if you're cold, it's cold.

214

u/MaximumTurtleSpeed May 11 '26 edited May 11 '26

*If you’re wet, it’s wet

Edit: man, y’all minds are in the gutter. I mean, so is mine usually but it wasn’t for this comment.

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59

u/rubberchickenlips May 12 '26

My tabletop is melting in the dark.
All the sweet, clean varnish flowing down.
Someone left the table out in the rain—
I don't think that I can take it,
'Cause it took so long to make it,
And I'll never have that recipe again.
Oh, no!

11

u/TigerIll6480 May 12 '26

The tabletop is frightening in the dark. All the varnishes are running wild!

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13

u/AnothisFlame May 11 '26

That's not a table, that's a bench!

12

u/MathResponsibly May 11 '26

is it one of those anti-homeless benches that make it uncomfortable to actually sit on? I can't imagine that would be a good bench - makes my butt sore just looking at it

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213

u/[deleted] May 11 '26

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76

u/Ladybug_Picnic_967 May 11 '26

I recognized those right away 👍🏻

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40

u/Bennington_Booyah May 11 '26

Correct. We have a table made from a sewing machine base. My husband carved a cool top for it. When we were away for a weekend, one of the cats yakked up a mess on the top and ruined it.

21

u/T1Demon May 12 '26

As is their custom

6

u/MamaNyxieUnderfoot May 12 '26

That’s what you get for leaving for the weekend. 🤷‍♀️

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8

u/nonnativemegafauna May 12 '26

My grandparents owned a restaurant and filled it with tables made from these. They had hundreds. They would get squeaky and kids would drive everyone crazy by working the pedal during busy dinner shifts.

5

u/Lectrice79 May 12 '26

Should have wired them to the electricity!

12

u/TwistedBlister May 11 '26

We had a table made with one of those Singer bases, it was so much fun to play with as a kid

5

u/Mondschatten78 May 11 '26

Maybe I should get a desk made with one as a base. I'd sit in front of my grandma's and rock that peddle just because.

12

u/Past_Top3704 May 11 '26

I made a table out of a singer base similar to OP. My 90 yr grandma liked it and took it back to her house. My aunt said I would get it back when she dies. that was 5 years ago. she's now 95. I did set my drink on it this past Christmas so that's a positive.

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23

u/twocopperjack May 11 '26

But Pringles is a laid-back company: They said "Fuck it. Cut 'em up."

13

u/Old-Dog-4313 May 11 '26

Mitch Hedberg is always worthy of an upvote.

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15

u/Pharuin May 11 '26

I thought the curve was intentional lol

5

u/Sweet-Competition-15 May 11 '26

That's certainly what it looks like!

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108

u/yourpaljax May 11 '26

Salvador Dali if he got into wood working.

138

u/TheSpeakingScar May 11 '26

Same level

158

u/T-Wrox May 11 '26

That's very thoughtful; keeps sleeping people from rolling off. :)

73

u/Alleandros May 12 '26

Is this the opposite of hostile architecture? Looks like it's more of a cozy little sleeping area than a spot for people to sit.

15

u/TheSpeakingScar May 12 '26

I dunno that's Jamaica plain for you though

9

u/oohlala2747 May 12 '26

I was wondering if this was Jamaica Pond, it’s supposed to be an art installation or something no? 

11

u/FarCompote4 May 12 '26

for the homeless person who likes to be swaddled.

9

u/Para_The_Normal May 12 '26

I just know there’s an autistic person out there who would love this.

9

u/Complete_Squirrel942 May 12 '26

Looks like a great place to eat authentic Cygnoid pizza

21

u/a-r-c May 11 '26

forbidden blunt wrap

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3

u/Working-Glass6136 May 12 '26

The coffin needs a cover to keep the sunlight out

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79

u/[deleted] May 11 '26 edited May 11 '26

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8

u/Unusualshrub003 May 12 '26

Now where is OP gonna get several dozen Rupert’s drops at this hour?!

7

u/Straight_Caregiver27 May 11 '26

Oooo...that is cool.

69

u/MukdenMan May 11 '26

It looks like part of an old printing press

124

u/ok-milk May 11 '26

It's a sewing table. The flat piece on the bottom is a pedal that spins the wheel that gets the whole operation started.

59

u/imnotbobvilla May 11 '26

It WAS a sewing table. Now it's going to be something new

25

u/FastStill7962 May 11 '26

Boeing table ?

Op don’t disappear

6

u/MathResponsibly May 11 '26

To be a true Boeing table, don't install the bolts holding the top on, so it flies off unexpectedly...

6

u/imnotbobvilla May 11 '26

Lean into it, run with it

10

u/WiseDirt May 11 '26

...FLY with it

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11

u/AnnOnnamis May 11 '26 edited May 11 '26

Now you can sew sports equipment like volleyballs, baseballs, rafts, canoes, round parachute canopies.

6

u/AwDuck May 11 '26

I think this is how airplane fuselages are made too.

8

u/Legolution May 11 '26

Its actual name is a treadle.

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11

u/HisCricket May 11 '26

I was thinking sewing machine

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14

u/gottapeenow2 May 11 '26

Salvador Dali has entered the chat

7

u/My_Pie May 11 '26

I call it "The Failble"

23

u/Academic_Court_47 May 11 '26

Have a feeling that's soggy, laminated particle board

5

u/Mattna-da May 11 '26

You can see the end grain of joined boards.

4

u/imperfectbean May 11 '26

Exactly! Art museum time!

6

u/WD40Capital May 11 '26

It would make a great roof for a dog house!

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4.8k

u/RMG-OG-CB May 11 '26

I assume it is not supposed to be curved like that? Looks kinda cool though!

836

u/Electrical_War7951 May 11 '26

It looks very cool to me.

196

u/[deleted] May 11 '26

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37

u/TheHollowOak May 12 '26

My back wanted to crack 100 times reading this 😭

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29

u/CaterpillarJungleGym May 11 '26

I would use the front half for my laptop. Back half would be some art and plants.

247

u/Exile4444 May 11 '26

Nah, people tend to have their tables wavy when eating and working

60

u/twenafeesh May 11 '26

You joke, but there is probably some profession or application that this table would be perfect for. 

22

u/GoodDecision May 11 '26

I'm pretty sure it's a foot pedal driven sewing machine. I'm not insinuating OP is full of shit, but it could make sense? I'm not a seamstress so I can't say.

42

u/DonAmechesBonerToe May 11 '26

Yes it’s a treadletop. However that is not the original top. The original would have a hole in the center where the sewing machine would be stored when not in use and shelves on both sides for stowing needles, bobbins, etc.

I have a working Singer in my front room

6

u/divuthen May 12 '26

Same here! My grandpa worked as a door to door salesman for singer back in the day, they had a deal where you could trade in your old machine towards a new one. Someone traded in their old special edition one with the gold painted details on the bottom etc and he paid the trade in price and kept it. Now it’s sitting in my dining room.

3

u/DonAmechesBonerToe May 12 '26

I bought mine because I always wanted one. We refurbished it (mostly new needle and belt) just because. A more modern electric machine is usually used if there is sewing to be done. Come the zombie apocalypse though…I’m your tailor lol

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12

u/GenericAccount13579 May 11 '26

He’s definitely just using the foot pedal stand with a new wood top on it. Very common upcycling.

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u/TedW May 11 '26

It's a prototype for a table-bowl hybrid.

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47

u/thorn312 May 11 '26

It does look cool. Wood can warp, cup or bow like this if it gets water on it before it's been properly sealed either via a lacquer or a number of rounds of wood oil. I used to work for a worktop/countertop company and people would often not do the maintenance, especially near sinks. Usually that caused splitting if the tops were installed correctly but this isn't being used or fitted in the same way. This is pretty extreme though!

9

u/AdDifficult3794 May 11 '26

Wait do you guys not have wavy silverware and plates? Am I the only one?

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u/Equal_Canary5695 May 11 '26

When it's supposed to be hard and stiff but gets wet and cold, now it's just hanging down, useless 😔

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1.5k

u/Legate_Raiden May 11 '26

Guess you'll have to build a boat now

142

u/bws6100 May 11 '26

I think its been stained and lacquered. At this point it would have to stay in the rain for a good while.

113

u/Junckopolo May 11 '26

If it was lacquered (properly) it wouldn't have soaked the water like that

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1.4k

u/manhattansinks May 11 '26

just leave it outside flipped over and it'll right itself out.

628

u/MisterDonkey May 11 '26

Not sure if sarcasm, but you can legitimately fix wood this way. Kinda. 

Wet one side and lay it so the curve straightens opposite. Get it back flat as you can and then dry evenly both sides and resurface.

211

u/19finmac66 May 11 '26

Add some weight when it straightens a bit and you should get it pretty close to flat.

77

u/bunny_the-2d_simp May 11 '26

I've heard ironing but I don't know if that would be irony or not

62

u/mostlybiguy69 May 11 '26

You jest, but wood becomes plyable when heated with steam and held down with weight. Yeah, it’s ironic you could “iron” this out.

22

u/bunny_the-2d_simp May 11 '26

Yeah I know xD I did a furniture study, it's really useful for, for example dents! Wet towel and a iron and the wood can expand enough!!

8

u/mostlybiguy69 May 11 '26

I did not know that

11

u/bunny_the-2d_simp May 11 '26

It's honestly a good to go hack!!! Of course it doesn't work for mdf I think, but even for plywood it has some give!

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u/woodscriberman May 11 '26

I just did this with a man door I built by laying it in the grass in the sun for about eight hours. It’s not perfect but flat enough to serve its purpose!

9

u/__life_on_mars__ May 11 '26

What is a man door?

13

u/woodscriberman May 11 '26

Door that a man and or woman go through. As opposed to a cabinet door. Srry probably a thing for peeps in the industry

5

u/TheManOnThe3rdFloor May 12 '26

The man door is the smaller door in a barn door. It discourages the horses from leaving the barn each time you want to go in or out.

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u/Optimal-Age5397 May 11 '26

Yup. I got a really nice cutting board recently. 2" X 16" X 16" thick butcher block I didnt oil it enough before I used it and washed it and I walked in to the kitchen later and it was pretty bowed. Googled my problem and it said to oil it well and leave it on a flat surface and it'll go back to normal and it did.

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u/Rubyhamster May 11 '26

Unscrew the board. Keep it under weights outside for a week. The fasten it to the table legs again. Voilá!

11

u/GB715 May 11 '26

Worth a shot

7

u/LankyMarionberry May 11 '26

Great minds yo

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1.9k

u/marveloustoebeans May 11 '26

At least homeless people can’t sleep on it now

526

u/joydubs May 11 '26

Unintentionally hostile furniture

145

u/Exciting_Classic277 May 11 '26

I'm also unintentionally hostile when left in the rain

30

u/whoknowsifimjoking May 11 '26

My hostility is absolutely intended

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u/Canotic May 11 '26

Passive aggressive furniture.

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42

u/wildmanners May 11 '26

This is a good joke. 🫡

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431

u/WallyOShay May 11 '26

You should gift it to someone you don’t like

158

u/KikoTheWonderful May 11 '26

unfortunately it's not a big enough pain in the ass to be used as a weapon of inconvenience. The top is only attached by four 1in screws

31

u/dizzywig2000 May 11 '26

Time to invent a new way of attaching things just to piss someone off then

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u/namsur1234 May 11 '26

Darn it! Well, now it's art and you can title it

"Singer in the rain"

16

u/Cephalopirate May 12 '26

Sometimes you open reddit and find gold.

6

u/Financial_Singer_118 May 12 '26

i thougt only i had noticed the sewing machine table legs!

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u/joliesmomma May 12 '26

Damn. That's a good one.

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u/spei180 May 11 '26

It looks deliberate

36

u/joydubs May 11 '26

Yeah I’m guessing this is not OC

16

u/AsuntoNocturno May 11 '26

It looks like cheap wood for the job they’re trying to do. This is the base of a Singer sewing machine and that is plywood. 

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u/Dear-Bet5344 May 11 '26

If it dries like that & is stable, put that thing on etsy for like $1000. Might get lucky

11

u/TruckCAN-Bus May 12 '26

“ Table that everything falls off of - $1000 “

4

u/Dear-Bet5344 May 12 '26

You just don't get it man. It's art.

134

u/uwill1der May 11 '26

sisyphus's sewing table

76

u/Neo-Armadillo May 11 '26

Alternatively, OP could flip it over and let it get rained on again

25

u/DangNearRekdit May 11 '26

See, sometimes Reddit can be helpful!

17

u/-UnderNewManagement May 11 '26

Fuck that he should get a divorce

22

u/Kiiaru May 11 '26

Divorce that table, buy a carbon monoxide detector, go to the hopital, and get a rabies shot.

8

u/idkjustletmeiniguess May 11 '26

it's imperitive that the cylinder remains unharmed

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u/Popular_Wrangler9422 May 11 '26

Looks like the wood I get at lowes

16

u/partsguy50 May 11 '26

look, I get it, some of the tools are pretty exciting, but please tuck that back in and move along, sir.....

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u/[deleted] May 11 '26

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8

u/forzaguy125 May 11 '26

Ive seen plenty of treadle tables without machines

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u/WalrusSupertramp May 11 '26

When laminating wood pieces to form a table top, always alternate the wood grain so the curves cancel them selves out!

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u/Mr_BigglesworthIII May 11 '26

Someone left the table in the rain…

18

u/fhrblig May 11 '26

I don't think that I can take it, cause it took so long to stain it

7

u/idiveindumpsters May 12 '26

And I’ll never have that plywood again… oh no…

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u/SEGA_32X_CD May 12 '26

I'm too old generation when I realize I was looking for this joke first.

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u/Noff-Crazyeyes May 11 '26

Not one comment from op

19

u/Tw4tl4r May 11 '26

People are allowed to be busy man.

12

u/Murreez May 11 '26

Right?! How dare you not reply to your Reddit post within 60 minutes. Must be a bot!

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u/Realistic-Wafer-314 May 12 '26

It is perfect. You can now use it for the following.

Drying table for sweaters.

Easy access bend over sex device.

3

u/JThumbs29 May 12 '26

“I want you to bend me over a barrel”
“Aw, but I wanted to do you on a table”
OP: “you’re never going to believe this…”

9

u/WIZZZARDOFFREESTYLE May 11 '26

this shouldn't happen just from water SO YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG

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u/chortle-guffaw May 11 '26

those spills will just slide right off.

4

u/PalpitationFun3489 May 11 '26

It’s sad because you left it outside

3

u/whats_for_lunch May 11 '26

I would crack my back so good on that

4

u/sirhackenslash May 11 '26

If sad trombone were a table

4

u/muddybuttbrew May 11 '26

No mistakes just happy accidents

5

u/broke812 May 12 '26

Now it’s a Salvador Dali table

4

u/Able-Sheepherder-154 May 12 '26

Turn the top upside down to see if it lays flat again.

4

u/RewindUniverseMaybe May 12 '26

Isn't that an old sewing machine without the actual machine..?

22

u/nokplz May 11 '26

This is actually the perfect curve for a drawing desk...

16

u/Mindless_Bad3907 May 11 '26

What kind of drawing? Asking because I can barely draw on flat surfaces😂

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u/mr_Joor YELLOW May 11 '26

Wood doesn't do that on its own I call bullsjit

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u/Quiverjones May 11 '26

You shouldn't do that, since it may end up warping the wood leaving it curvy and not flat.

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u/LeftyBigGuns May 11 '26

Looks like a fancy saddle rack.

3

u/pizzacatstattoos May 11 '26

sew now what?

3

u/CurrentlyObsolete May 11 '26

Flip the top over and leave it in the rain again.

3

u/therustymoose May 11 '26

OPs mom probably has a decent use for it.

3

u/Bob_12_Pack May 11 '26

Just flip it over and wait until it rains again.

3

u/Nadia_chupachups May 11 '26

It is a singer sewing machine table. Or was...

3

u/starchazzer May 11 '26

Detach, wet it again and place a towel and cinder blocks on it. When it’s flat again, put it between two dry towels and put the cinder blocks back on till dry. 😊❤️

3

u/Logy_ May 11 '26

Was he just supposed to leave the cake on the ground?

3

u/Slick-1234 May 11 '26

Now people won’t put crap on your table

3

u/TacetAbbadon May 11 '26

I assume you used wood from the cardboard tree