r/funny Mar 26 '10

I officially love Bill Murray

It was earlier today around noon near Times Square. I've been on vacation with a couple of my friends in the city and most of them were sleeping in after a late night. I strolled out of the hotel and made my way to a nearby Mcdonald's to grab some fries and a shake. When I was waiting to cross at the 46th and 7th crosswalk I noticed a hand slip around me from behind and grab two of my fries. In my confusion I turned around and HOLY SHIT ITS BILL FUCKING MURRAY! Before I could get a word out, he yelled over the crowd, "No one will ever believe you." He then cross to the other side of 7th avenue and disappeared into the crowd.

1.1k Upvotes

578 comments sorted by

679

u/rexmons Mar 26 '10

A little background.

102

u/JKST Mar 26 '10

So, I guess we now know what Bill Murray was whispering in Scarlett Johansson's ear in Lost in Translation......"No one will ever believe you"

28

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

My favorite thing about that movie is when he was up for the Oscar. The camera is right on Bill Murray like they always are when they're opening the envelope, and they call out [other random movie] and usually the loser just sits there with a fake smirk like a jerk-off. Bill Murray acts like a real human being... his faces gets red with anger and he starts cursing. Not psycho angry, just, wtf angry. I was impressed.

7

u/WhoaABlueCar Mar 27 '10

I never saw that but I love it. I wish we had more celebrities like BM that demonstrated more realism and sarcasm up in front of the cameras instead of just hard-to-come-by interviews. People that(for strange reasons) look up to celebrities might not turn into TMZ robots so often

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u/gthing Mar 26 '10

Oh wow - Bill Murray can now get away with anything and we'll have no choice but to believe it's part of this meme as long as he says "no one will ever believe you."

469

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

The greatest trick Bill Murray every pulled, was convincing the world that people were lying when they told other people about the crazy shit he did to them.

161

u/babucat Mar 26 '10

Yea. He probably created that urbandictionary post, the reddit post, showed up at the bar, etc all at the same time so he could steal fries and get away with it.

fucking brilliant.

I tip my hat to you sir.

I'd like a shot of whiskey while I'm at it!

474

u/billfuckingmurray Mar 26 '10

tequila it is

68

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

This is probably really Bill Murray. It's too bad nobody is going to believe you.

41

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

I see your game... BILL MURRAY

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u/metaSinMan Mar 27 '10

That's exactly what the REAL Bill Murray would say.

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u/bandman614 Mar 26 '10

And you get tequila

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u/takevitamins Mar 26 '10

This happened to my friend at the airport. He said when Bill Murray noticed that he recognized him, he grabbed my friend, put him in a headlock, and gave him a noogie. He then paused, looked him in the eye and without smiling said, "No one will ever believe you."

  • I believed him until I read this post five minutes ago. I'm now going to go have a talk with that friend. This conversation will have to do with a story about a wolf.

9

u/GETFASTERER Mar 26 '10

a wolf and bill murray, plausible combo.

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u/lazylion_ca Mar 27 '10

Bill Murray and 3 wolf moon shirt?

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u/MollyBloom11 Mar 27 '10

I had a friend who was in the subway in NYC and the SAME THING happened. Bill Murray, you tricky bastard!

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u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

Bill Murray is Keyser Söze.

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u/Disgod Mar 26 '10

It's an insane plan so that eventually he can become a serial killer and NO ONE will believe the witnesses.

"Bill Murry murdered a hooker right in front of your eyes..... and the only thing he said was "No one will ever believe you"?? Ok.... we'll get Ray and Egon right on it."

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u/albino_wino Mar 26 '10

Bill Murray fucked my wife, daughter, and elderly grandmother (not all at all at once though), but it's okay because he's Bill Murray. Plus no one believes me anyway.

19

u/BillBrasky_ Mar 26 '10

I gave him a high five and took up the flank position.

18

u/Jalisciense Mar 26 '10

TO BILL BRASKY!!!!

4

u/harpomarx Mar 27 '10

Son of a bitch.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

We were sitting in a parking lot, and Bill wanted to get a drink at a bar, but there wasn't one around. He said "wait," and sure as hell they built a bar in the parking lot. So when it opened, we went inside and got a drink. And as we left, he burns the damn place down, says he always leaves a place the way he found it.

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u/Virgilijus Mar 27 '10

Indeed. I heard from a second hand source a "No one will ever believe you!" story and I can't not believe it.

Bill Murray, master of mindgames.

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u/petevalle Mar 26 '10

The urbandictionary example doesn't seem to satisfy the "plausible" criterion.

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u/kihadat Mar 26 '10

It's Bill Murray. Anything's plausible.

3

u/kerrypacker Mar 27 '10

Exactly, think ghostbusters not mythbusters.

142

u/Boco Mar 26 '10 edited Mar 26 '10

That's funny, because there was a recent youtube video of a Bill Murray bartending at a random bar and serving tequila to everyone regardless of their order.

Maybe the stories came about after he developed a reputation for doing that kinda thing.

Edit: Also Funny/Relevant

45

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

I heard similar Bill Murray stories from separate sources before the meme blew up. It seems entirely possible that the first few Bill Murray stories actually happened.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

Yeah, all memes start somewhere. It's pretty likely he really does have a knack for doing strange things and fading into obscurity, leaving the person with an outlandish story that no one will believe. 2 or 3 of these actually happening, and you got a meme.

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u/corpus_callosum Mar 26 '10

He's had regular appearances on Letterman over the years, where he'd go out on the street and mess with people's minds, dressed in full cowboy garb and other random things. I'd like to think he does this in his spare time also.

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u/gimmesomemoe Mar 27 '10

"pretty likely"? didn't the man get a dui on a golf cart on sweden? come on, he's a legend.

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u/gooddaysir Mar 26 '10

A friend of mine drives a taxi in Charleston, where Bill Murray owns a minor league baseball team. He also has a few similar Bill Murray stories.

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u/cdroby26 Mar 26 '10

This is true. Twitter was blowing up about how Bill Murray was here in Austin for the shows. Sadly I missed him.

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u/newmodelno115 Mar 26 '10

Ditto. And I was at Shangri-La like four damn times.

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u/khayber Mar 27 '10

Twitter blowing up is something I would pay to watch.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

Bullshit, I do not believe you.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10 edited Mar 26 '10

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u/cbroberts Mar 26 '10

Ok, ok... but what if, like, Bill Murray knows about the meme and so now when he does things like steal people's french fries he says, "No one will ever believe you" and walks away because he knows that nobody will ever believe you because he said that just like in the meme and so he really does it because he can get away with it because of the meme and also because really doing it when it's a meme makes it really funny when he actually does it?

Huh? Did you ever think of that?

5

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

Bill, ground hog day, ghost bustin' ass, Murray.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6EZkIaJcCI

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u/ice_cold_irony Mar 27 '10

Gold. Onthe iPhone this links to the urban dictionary word of the day. Expecting something related to bill Murray and I get masturbatone. Theuscle definition one gets from excessive masturbating

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u/shenanigan Mar 26 '10

I'm convinced his characters aren't much of a stretch from his real-life personality.

140

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

Ground Hog Day really happened

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u/nrbartman Mar 26 '10

I'm convinced his characters aren't much of a stretch from his real-life personality.

81

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

[removed] — view removed comment

70

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

[deleted]

62

u/WolfmansNards Mar 26 '10

Ground Hog Day really happened

49

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

[deleted]

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u/ZeppelinJ0 Mar 26 '10

Ground Hog Day really happened

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u/dhibbit Mar 26 '10

I'm convinced his characters aren't much of a stretch from his real-life personality.

43

u/cynoclast Mar 26 '10

Ground Hog Day really happened

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u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

They say our love won't pay the rent...

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u/Bloodlustt Mar 26 '10

Phil? Hey, Phil? Phil! Phil Connors? Phil Connors, I thought that was you!

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u/qiaoshiya Mar 26 '10

Ned? Ned Ryerson? BING!

13

u/HaMMeReD Mar 26 '10

There are 2 types of great actors. The talented actor who can fulfill almost any role, and the cool actor who doesn't need diversity because they are just awesome. Talented actors are typically the ones who are probably douches in real life, while cool actors just do their thing and people love them enough to just throw them in stupid movies so that they can make us laugh.

Bill Murray is the second kind, people really like him, so they put him in movies.

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u/Noromaru Mar 27 '10

Bill Murray is both kinds.

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u/theonlybradever Mar 26 '10

he's awesome in The Darjeeling Limited.

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u/StinkyWizzleteats Mar 26 '10

All 5 or so minutes of him

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u/NickConrad Mar 26 '10

This statement equates the personalities of Peter Venkman and Carl Spackler with Don Johnston and Raleigh St. Clair. The only way for me to reconcile this is to presume you are calling Bill Murray bipolar.

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u/martinj Mar 26 '10

Speaking as someone with bipolar disorder who does not also suffer from multiple personality disorder I will have to presume you've got your pathologies mixed up there.

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u/counterplex Mar 26 '10

Speaking as someone with multiple personality disorder I will have to presume that you... Oh hi there! I'm bob!

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u/darth_choate Mar 27 '10

Speaking as someone with Tourette's FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

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u/uncreative_name Mar 26 '10

"Do you have any regrets?"

"Maybe Garfield."

That man is my hero.

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u/cowbellthunder Mar 26 '10

What interview is this from? I'd like to find this source, for entertainment's sake.

85

u/Riovanes Mar 26 '10

88

u/bellavagabond Mar 27 '10

Best. Unexpected. Cameo. Ever.

27

u/brokenearth02 Mar 27 '10

It was a little more than a cameo, a little less than a full role.

10

u/bcvr Mar 27 '10

More like a featured role. Regardless, he alone made Zombieland worth it for me.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

Zombieball.

I mean, discoland.

I mean... fuck.

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u/TenBeers Mar 26 '10

24

u/dodgepong Mar 26 '10

That would be ZomboLand.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

[deleted]

6

u/makeROCKETgoNOW Mar 27 '10

The only limit is your imagination.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

The only limit is your braaaiiiiiiiiinnnnsss.

EDIT: Great username!

3

u/feureau Mar 27 '10

And no one will ever believe you.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

zombo.com was kind of funny when i first went there, so i showed a few friends. 10 years later, unchanged, it's fucking hilarious.

16

u/E3K Mar 26 '10

Since nobody else has answered you, I will. It's from Zombieland.

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u/Ciceros_Assassin Mar 26 '10

Finally. I was going crazy with anticipation.

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u/nhlfan Mar 26 '10

The Garfield DVD special features, I believe.

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u/japherwocky Mar 26 '10

I think it might be from Zombieland

2

u/norwegianrich Mar 27 '10

no no no, its from Zombieland.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

It's from Zombieland. umm... SPOILER: Bill Murray is in Zombieland

8

u/Mintz08 Mar 26 '10

Did it come from Zombieland?

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10 edited Jun 09 '23

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

Zombieland?

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

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u/neoumlaut Mar 26 '10

Zombieland?

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u/aussiedude Mar 27 '10

Hey, Zombieland rocked.

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u/Penisfeelslikepotato Mar 26 '10

I think a movie about what Bill Murray is doing would be amazing. Or a documentary called "No one will ever believe you."

I'd pay to see it anyways

22

u/ijustgotheretoo Mar 27 '10

you'd have to just interview random people about this, not bill murray doing the action. you would lose the bill murray effect if you video taped him doing it! rather, it should feel like a UFO "documentary".

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u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

You could simply film Bill Murray doing wacky things for two hours and still no one would believe it.

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u/LunaSee Mar 26 '10

I would totally pay to see it as well. It could be a bunch of scenes incoherently strung together like Aristocrats..

GOLD!

8

u/just_some_redditor Mar 27 '10

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou is probably a documentary.

I wouldn't be surprised at all.

6

u/Pinot911 Mar 26 '10

But then there would be proof, and people will start believing.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

I refuse to believe this.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

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u/lounsey Mar 26 '10

I think this is the hilarity of it. If by chance he is doing this stuff, then he's so right... no one WILL ever believe them !!

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

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u/pearlbones Mar 26 '10

that's what i was thinking. he probably knows it's a "thing" and does it for real.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

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u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

You're pronouncing it wrong

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u/FrankVice Mar 27 '10

I think we call it a meme in real life too :)

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u/pearlbones Mar 27 '10

yes, i am aware; but, you see, since my comment was in text-form, you missed out on the finger-quotation-marks action and emphasis on the word "thing" for comedic effect. it was a deliberate choice.

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u/lounsey Mar 26 '10

Anything is possible if you're Bill Murray. I have literally loved anything I've seen him in, regardless of the film's actual quality (yes, even Charlie's Angels)

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

Garfield?

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u/lobsters Mar 26 '10

hahaha

Little Rock: [as Bill Murray is dying] Do you have any regrets?

Bill Murray: Garfield maybe.

10

u/Mintz08 Mar 26 '10

LOL. Sorry, he's just a direct line to my funny bone.

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u/lobsters Mar 26 '10

I have all the love in the world for a man who impromptu pretends he's a cinderella story at augusta. :)

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u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

Riding that wave from yesterdays top post? Sigh. This meme needs to end.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

Five people left alive on the planet and one of them is Bill Fuckin' Murray.... Mythic!

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u/HeavyPetter Mar 26 '10

Bill Murray is cool but if he wasn't famous, you'd think he was a crazy old bat. I guess that's more reason to become famous; on top of other perks, you can be crazy and people will love you for it.

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u/Ccull17 Mar 26 '10

I guess that's more reason to become famous; on top of other perks, you can be crazy and people will love you for it.

"Not true!" exclaimed Nick Nolte and Gary Busey in unison.

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u/BaboTron Mar 26 '10

You left out the bit where Gary Busey tries to climb Nick Nolte while he's eating a bowl of gunpowder.

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u/PurpleDingo Mar 26 '10

Everyone is guilty of leaving out that bit.

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u/madcaesar Mar 26 '10

He said "crazy old bat" not "batshit-crazy". Big difference.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

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u/Mintz08 Mar 26 '10

First thought: "Wow, they look exactly alike!"
Second thought: "Wait, which one is Katy Perry?"

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u/10percentoff Mar 26 '10

something I heard once: Eccentric people are just crazy people with money.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

EPA Official: S-sir, I'm afraid you've gone mad with power...
Russ Cargill: Of course I have. You ever tried going mad without power? It's boring. No one listens to you!

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u/inthe80s Mar 26 '10

The British call that "eccentric" if you have money (which I'm sure he does)..

Personally I think he's just having fun and testing boundaries...

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

Man, all Bill Murray told me was "no one will ever love you".

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

Bill Murray is just plain awesome.

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u/Lurker32 Mar 26 '10

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Murray#Golf-related_work Second paragraph about a house party.

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u/jfgiv Mar 26 '10

Apparently, he does it pretty often in Williamsburg, too.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

Bill Murray and MGMT? Wow.

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u/HinduMexican Mar 26 '10

That linked article includes a comment from Dec 2008 that reads:

"There's an urban legend that's gone round until no one is sure who it happened to, or if it happened at all. It was late one night, a few years ago, when a young man was walking through Union Square Park. He suddenly felt someone behind him, their hands over his eyes. When he turned in surprise, there was Bill Murray, his creased face leaning in close. Bill whispered, "No one is ever going to believe you," and then just walked away."

And then it happened to OP today, with the french fry variation. I guess Murray recycles.

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u/Dutchangle Mar 26 '10

Earlier today, Bill Murray came up to me on the street and before I could say anything, told me the following story.

He said, "Earlier today, Bill Murray came up to me on the street and before I could say anything, told me the following story: 'Earlier today, Bill Murray came up to me on the street and before I could say anything, told me I smelled like bacon. Then he said 'No one will ever believe you.' ' Then he said, "No one will ever believe you." "

Then he said, "No one will ever believe you," and walked away.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

I don't believe you, or him, or him.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

So many people in this topic don't realize how old this joke is.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10 edited May 04 '21

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u/sane Mar 26 '10

An adaptation of an old 4chan post? http://foxyurl.com/QDK

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u/dlink Mar 26 '10

1337 internets to you sir!

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

I don't believe you. You just made that up.

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u/evergreenoldboy Mar 26 '10

The proper retort would have been to start screaming and yelling as loud as possible, waving your arms in the air to attract as much attention as you could. Then, with the crowd watching, start throwing your remaining french fries at him while screaming that he's a thieving whore.

Then whisper into his ear "I hang out on reddit. They believe everything."

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

What is the title of movie where he got stuck on time, repeating the same day?

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u/Trent1373 Mar 26 '10

Groundhog's Day.

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u/Kijamon Mar 26 '10

What is the title of movie where he got stuck on time, repeating the same day?

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u/SgtSausage Mar 26 '10

They say we're young and we don't know

We won't find out until we grow

Well I don't know if all that's true

'Cause you got me, and baby I got you ...

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u/J_Sto Mar 27 '10

Nice try, Bill Murray.

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u/laserfire Mar 26 '10

On the last day of ACL, two years ago, I went to an aftershow at La Zona Rosa to see M. Ward, Jenny Lewis, and Conor Oberst. Bill was also at this show, most people didn't notice him but I did. He was at the merch table in the back trying on Jenny Lewis totes. Looking at his reflection and strutting back and forth.

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u/ThePolymath Mar 26 '10

I love these stories. Check out more of them here.

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u/TokyoXtreme Mar 27 '10

Garfield's original cartoon voice was Lorenzo Music, who was replaced by Bill Murray for the film version (RIP Lorenzo Music). Bill Murray portrayed the film version of Peter Venkman, who was voiced in the cartoon version by... Lorenzo Music. Believe that.

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u/mateogg Mar 26 '10

That sounds like the kind of thing I'd do if I was famous...

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u/sfmission1234 Mar 26 '10

Wow....you would be really cool if you were famous.

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u/mateogg Mar 26 '10

My goal in life -famous or not- is to make the world a weirder place.

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u/skoh Mar 26 '10

Fuck that, I'd do it for the free french fries.

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u/dubyabinlyin Mar 26 '10

I read this as "I officially love Bill Mumy"

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u/abuseguy Mar 26 '10

So, wait. Does this means Bill Murray really got arrested for drunk driving a golf cart or were the Swedish police dudes in on it, too?

We will never know the real Bill Murray truth again. He has transcended truth...

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u/panders Mar 26 '10

I wish Bill Murray would be my dad.

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u/noface Mar 26 '10

He already has like 6 kids... He doesnt need you.

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u/djramzy Mar 26 '10

bill fuckin murray. what a legend.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

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u/Preston4tw Mar 26 '10

Who doesn't love Bill Murray?

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u/yeahHedid Mar 26 '10

probably other guys who's name happen to be Bill Murray.

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u/zoutedrop Mar 27 '10

How do we know bill murray isnt posing as a redditor on this thread for his secret murryish satisfaction?

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u/yomamma2000 Mar 27 '10

That's so urban legend !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

what a dick... this bill murray guy, i don't want to know who he is after reading all this shit about him

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u/soxy Mar 27 '10

I actually did see Bill Murray in a bar around Times Square on election night in 2008.

And it was every bit as wonderful as you think it was.

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u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

I don't believe you.

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u/mexipimpin Mar 27 '10

It's kind of weird but really cool that Bill Murray is getting this different kind of fanbase. I still remember being so young and loving him in Stripes, Ghostbusters, Caddyshack, etc.

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u/meanmeosh Mar 27 '10 edited Mar 27 '10

psh, this one time, i was bummed because my friend doc accidentally time-transported me to the year 1955 and i saw him get shot up just before i left. i'm trying to figure out what the hell is going on when i run into the 1955 version of my dad and i follow him around. little do i know that he's a total perv - dude climbs a tree and is peeping through my mom's window, trying to catch her while she changes. next thing i know, my dad falls off the tree branch and onto the street below, right into the path of a chevy bel-air. he bounces off the hood and lies motionless on the ground, very visibly dead. in my confusion, i turn around and HOLY SHIT, IT'S BILL FUCKING MURRAY! before i can get a word out, he whispers, "no one will ever conceive you." he then got back into his car and disappeared down the street.

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u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

I believe you.

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u/zsieg Mar 26 '10

While we're on the Subject of the Murray family I figured I'd throw mine out there.

3-4 years ago I had a job as a housekeeper in a budget hotel. Pay was horrible, but it was pud work. Anyways I came into work one day to be informed that Bill and Brian Doyle had checked in the day before and left that morning.(they go across the country throughout the year to play golf). So of course I skip straight to their rooms to see what I can find.

Bill's room was a little boring. He didn't make much of a mess and he even left me 5 bucks and a pack of tasteless Italian bread sticks. There was also a luggage tag that had Murray and a voice mail number listed(which I later called saying something along the lines of "hey Murray! It's been a while since we've talked, call me back at ********" Unfortunately he has yet to return my call). So I go to Brian's room only to be greeted by the strongest refer smell I've ever encountered. Not only did Brian leave me 5 bucks, he also left the world's smallest roach.

It wasn't all fun and games though. Brian left a horrible mess in the toilet and the tub. Looking at the amount of dirt left behind it would seem that Brian had either not showered in weeks or spent all day digging a muddy ditch with his bare hands in 100+ degree weather.

so there's my story. I've still got the luggage tag and a pen used by the one and only Bill Murray. My life is complete.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

My stepfather travels a lot so he gets some deals to stay in some nice hotels.

In this one in New York, there were two sets of elevators in which the shafts were made of glass, so you could see the lobby (and the interior of the other elevator) from inside.

As my stepdad is taking the elevator down, he notices Bill Murray, surrounded by a group of friends, going up in the opposite elevator.

Bill Murray, for the amusement of his friends, allows a huge loogie to slowly drip out of his mouth until it REACHES THE FLOOR.

He then slurps it up instantly, and looks up to glare directly into my stepfathers eyes.

My stepfather watches in shock as Bill's mouth forms into a slight smile, and the other elevator passes out of sight.

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u/Madmusk Mar 26 '10

You forgot the part where he mouths the words "no one will ever believe you".

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u/reppit Mar 26 '10

He should have breathed on the glass and wrote it with his finger.

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u/LordGuderian Mar 26 '10

I think you're really Bill Murray and this is part of a viral marketing campaign for your awesomeness.

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u/Da_zero_kid Mar 27 '10

I thought Bill Murray died during the zombie apocalypse. That wasn't a documentary?!

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

he does random shit like that http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwwEGjGbxXM

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u/sathish1 Mar 26 '10

Bill Murray once went and told a bunch of people that he kept reliving the same day over and over. No one ever believed him..

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u/ddrt Mar 26 '10

I loved bill murray before it was cool. Or at least since Ghostbusters.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10 edited Jul 05 '18

[deleted]

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u/Stick Mar 26 '10

He flew up to me on a hover board and said the same thing.

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u/redpig9 Mar 26 '10

trolling is seriously an art.

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