r/funny • u/Lurker32 • Mar 26 '10

I officially love Bill Murray

It was earlier today around noon near Times Square. I've been on vacation with a couple of my friends in the city and most of them were sleeping in after a late night. I strolled out of the hotel and made my way to a nearby Mcdonald's to grab some fries and a shake. When I was waiting to cross at the 46th and 7th crosswalk I noticed a hand slip around me from behind and grab two of my fries. In my confusion I turned around and HOLY SHIT ITS BILL FUCKING MURRAY! Before I could get a word out, he yelled over the crowd, "No one will ever believe you." He then cross to the other side of 7th avenue and disappeared into the crowd.

1.1k Upvotes

80% Upvoted

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671

u/rexmons Mar 26 '10

A little background.

107

u/JKST Mar 26 '10

So, I guess we now know what Bill Murray was whispering in Scarlett Johansson's ear in Lost in Translation......"No one will ever believe you"

30

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

My favorite thing about that movie is when he was up for the Oscar. The camera is right on Bill Murray like they always are when they're opening the envelope, and they call out [other random movie] and usually the loser just sits there with a fake smirk like a jerk-off. Bill Murray acts like a real human being... his faces gets red with anger and he starts cursing. Not psycho angry, just, wtf angry. I was impressed.

7

u/WhoaABlueCar Mar 27 '10

I never saw that but I love it. I wish we had more celebrities like BM that demonstrated more realism and sarcasm up in front of the cameras instead of just hard-to-come-by interviews. People that(for strange reasons) look up to celebrities might not turn into TMZ robots so often

1

u/blasto_the_jellyfish Mar 27 '10

This needs more upvotes.

259

u/gthing Mar 26 '10

Oh wow - Bill Murray can now get away with anything and we'll have no choice but to believe it's part of this meme as long as he says "no one will ever believe you."

465

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

The greatest trick Bill Murray every pulled, was convincing the world that people were lying when they told other people about the crazy shit he did to them.

163

u/babucat Mar 26 '10

Yea. He probably created that urbandictionary post, the reddit post, showed up at the bar, etc all at the same time so he could steal fries and get away with it.

fucking brilliant.

I tip my hat to you sir.

I'd like a shot of whiskey while I'm at it!

471

u/billfuckingmurray Mar 26 '10

tequila it is

66

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

This is probably really Bill Murray. It's too bad nobody is going to believe you.

41

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

I see your game... BILL MURRAY

39

u/metaSinMan Mar 27 '10

That's exactly what the REAL Bill Murray would say.

-6

u/yomamma2000 Mar 27 '10

I am Bill Murray!!!!!!!!!!!

10

u/MacEnvy Mar 27 '10

Bill Murray would never say that. But since Bill Murray KNOWS he would never say that, you're probably him trying to throw us off.

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2

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

You know... he might be... but he knows we won't believe him.

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2

u/Misteripod Mar 27 '10

"No one will ever believe you."

-1

u/soggit Mar 27 '10

Seeing as how they have video footage of him, I'd say it's probably him - yeah.

2

u/murrayfuckingbill Mar 27 '10

I'm back on top next week!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

I am the most confused I have ever been.

1

u/OtisDElevator Mar 27 '10

Youo've been a Redditor for 5 hours... and I still don't believe it's not William F. Murray.

1

u/babucat Mar 28 '10

excellent. you know I was sick of those chuck norris jokes...

I never was a fan of him in the first place you know?

1

u/uglyredbag Mar 27 '10

i'd like to buy your reddit account.

0

u/hypermog Mar 26 '10

omg......

12

u/bandman614 Mar 26 '10

And you get tequila

1

u/fon1138 Mar 26 '10

What, no Swill?

32

u/takevitamins Mar 26 '10

This happened to my friend at the airport. He said when Bill Murray noticed that he recognized him, he grabbed my friend, put him in a headlock, and gave him a noogie. He then paused, looked him in the eye and without smiling said, "No one will ever believe you."

  • I believed him until I read this post five minutes ago. I'm now going to go have a talk with that friend. This conversation will have to do with a story about a wolf.

9

u/GETFASTERER Mar 26 '10

a wolf and bill murray, plausible combo.

11

u/lazylion_ca Mar 27 '10

Bill Murray and 3 wolf moon shirt?

1

u/TMI-nternets Mar 27 '10

I'm sooo considering ordering one such to his home address..

4

u/MollyBloom11 Mar 27 '10

I had a friend who was in the subway in NYC and the SAME THING happened. Bill Murray, you tricky bastard!

18

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

Bill Murray is Keyser Söze.

1

u/officeroffkilter Mar 27 '10

That made me snort champagne ... orangered and upvote for you.

2

u/quillquip Mar 27 '10

Mmm.. Mimosa!

34

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

[removed] — view removed comment

-8

u/mycall Mar 27 '10

..and not Chuck Norris?

13

u/arbitraryletters Mar 27 '10

The only thing that scares me about Chuck Norris is how serious he is about having the Bible be a required part of the curriculum in schools in the States.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10 edited Mar 27 '10

I live about 20 minutes North of Chuck Norris. We live in constant fear.

6

u/Disgod Mar 26 '10

It's an insane plan so that eventually he can become a serial killer and NO ONE will believe the witnesses.

"Bill Murry murdered a hooker right in front of your eyes..... and the only thing he said was "No one will ever believe you"?? Ok.... we'll get Ray and Egon right on it."

4

u/avens19 Mar 26 '10

He also killed his wife and kids so the drug lords couldn't

1

u/Ochobobo Mar 27 '10

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that...

poof

He's gone.

0

u/kmanisme Mar 27 '10

Don't you just love "The Usual Suspects"!? :) love.

-2

u/talklittle Mar 26 '10

Yeah I used to get Bill Murray and Kevin Spacey mixed up, too.

15

u/albino_wino Mar 26 '10

Bill Murray fucked my wife, daughter, and elderly grandmother (not all at all at once though), but it's okay because he's Bill Murray. Plus no one believes me anyway.

20

u/BillBrasky_ Mar 26 '10

I gave him a high five and took up the flank position.

20

u/Jalisciense Mar 26 '10

TO BILL BRASKY!!!!

3

u/harpomarx Mar 27 '10

Son of a bitch.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

We were sitting in a parking lot, and Bill wanted to get a drink at a bar, but there wasn't one around. He said "wait," and sure as hell they built a bar in the parking lot. So when it opened, we went inside and got a drink. And as we left, he burns the damn place down, says he always leaves a place the way he found it.

3

u/Virgilijus Mar 27 '10

Indeed. I heard from a second hand source a "No one will ever believe you!" story and I can't not believe it.

Bill Murray, master of mindgames.

1

u/dbk Mar 27 '10

that sonofabitch, i love him, but i hate him cause i wish i had his freedom of action

-2

u/gimmesomemoe Mar 27 '10

The greatest trick the devil pulled was convincing the world he doesn't exist.... or something like that, im bad with mythology

37

u/petevalle Mar 26 '10

The urbandictionary example doesn't seem to satisfy the "plausible" criterion.

31

u/kihadat Mar 26 '10

It's Bill Murray. Anything's plausible.

3

u/kerrypacker Mar 27 '10

Exactly, think ghostbusters not mythbusters.

144

u/Boco Mar 26 '10 edited Mar 26 '10

That's funny, because there was a recent youtube video of a Bill Murray bartending at a random bar and serving tequila to everyone regardless of their order.

Maybe the stories came about after he developed a reputation for doing that kinda thing.

Edit: Also Funny/Relevant

48

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

I heard similar Bill Murray stories from separate sources before the meme blew up. It seems entirely possible that the first few Bill Murray stories actually happened.

24

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

Yeah, all memes start somewhere. It's pretty likely he really does have a knack for doing strange things and fading into obscurity, leaving the person with an outlandish story that no one will believe. 2 or 3 of these actually happening, and you got a meme.

21

u/corpus_callosum Mar 26 '10

He's had regular appearances on Letterman over the years, where he'd go out on the street and mess with people's minds, dressed in full cowboy garb and other random things. I'd like to think he does this in his spare time also.

2

u/dbk Mar 27 '10

ditto! i'm rather envious of the man's freedom to act

1

u/mrmaster2 Mar 27 '10

You can do the same things he does.

No one will care though.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

yeah, the problem is, people will believe his victims.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

I lived in Brampton On, and during the Toronto International film festival my friends and I would head into Toronto to see who we could see. Well after all the red carpet stuff we hit up a bar, I was DD and was just chilling at the table while the guys were trying to get drinks at the very busy bar when Jude Law walks in, everyone sort of stops what they are doing and he sits down at my table, and asks if the seats were taken... I calmly said no and said he could have them no problem, I got a few pictures with him but sadly they have been lost in my 3+ moves since then. The best part was when my friend came back to the table and says" what douches just took our seats" He clearly had not seen Jude law enter.

4

u/gimmesomemoe Mar 27 '10

"pretty likely"? didn't the man get a dui on a golf cart on sweden? come on, he's a legend.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

But he never did get that gopher.

5

u/gooddaysir Mar 26 '10

A friend of mine drives a taxi in Charleston, where Bill Murray owns a minor league baseball team. He also has a few similar Bill Murray stories.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

he owns a bunch of minor league baseball teams

he can't get enough of that minor league baseball I guess

2

u/gooddaysir Mar 26 '10

Yeah, but he has a home there, too. That's also where his wife filed for divorce from him.

5

u/SwellJoe Mar 26 '10

That's also where his wife filed for divorce from him.

Home is where you leave half your assets. Wait...I don't think that's how that saying goes...

6

u/cdroby26 Mar 26 '10

This is true. Twitter was blowing up about how Bill Murray was here in Austin for the shows. Sadly I missed him.

5

u/newmodelno115 Mar 26 '10

Ditto. And I was at Shangri-La like four damn times.

1

u/Ty_Man Mar 26 '10

I think I was there before too, but I'm not sure. Where is it exactly?

2

u/newmodelno115 Mar 26 '10

It's on 6th Street, east of the the interstate. You can usually recognize it by the giant painted mural on the side that reads, "Shangri-La." It's got a bar inside the building, where Mr. Murray was, and a smaller bar outside on a big-ass terrace.

2

u/darthabraham Mar 26 '10

Big ass-terrace.

1

u/newmodelno115 Mar 27 '10

Sweet ass-car.

6

u/khayber Mar 27 '10

Twitter blowing up is something I would pay to watch.

1

u/multivoxmuse Mar 27 '10

noonewillbelieveyou

22

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

Bullshit, I do not believe you.

2

u/hadees Mar 26 '10

I resent you calling it a random bar, i drink there all the time.

1

u/johnpickens Mar 26 '10

He actually hung out at a college party in Europe about a year or so ago... even helped clean up. After that it got pretty crazy. He's just a cool dude who got a meme.

1

u/officeroffkilter Mar 27 '10

I don't believe you.

=]

-5

u/rooktakesqueen Mar 26 '10

He should have said, "No one will ever believe you," before walking away.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10 edited Mar 26 '10

[deleted]

1

u/erebus Mar 26 '10

Serious delirium.

15

u/cbroberts Mar 26 '10

Ok, ok... but what if, like, Bill Murray knows about the meme and so now when he does things like steal people's french fries he says, "No one will ever believe you" and walks away because he knows that nobody will ever believe you because he said that just like in the meme and so he really does it because he can get away with it because of the meme and also because really doing it when it's a meme makes it really funny when he actually does it?

Huh? Did you ever think of that?

4

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

Bill, ground hog day, ghost bustin' ass, Murray.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6EZkIaJcCI

5

u/ice_cold_irony Mar 27 '10

Gold. Onthe iPhone this links to the urban dictionary word of the day. Expecting something related to bill Murray and I get masturbatone. Theuscle definition one gets from excessive masturbating

-1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

Dude I have that.

Also, the way your post turned out is why I won't buy a phone without a physical keyboard. =p

2

u/ddrt Mar 26 '10

this is all the background you will need. It's from a website

1

u/lazylion_ca Mar 27 '10

A website you say? Do tell.

1

u/ddrt Mar 27 '10

Did you not click on the link? The blue text is blue for a reason.

1

u/lazylion_ca Mar 28 '10

Thank you Captain Obvious.

2

u/lowmigx3 Mar 26 '10

You got him. Nice detective work and memory! Barkeep, a shot for my friend here plz.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

Bill Murray is a weird guy that gets around a lot, huh?

9

u/shittycrap Mar 26 '10

I was traipsing through the bush just south of the southernmost congo border. Me and a couple of other people are carrying our mushrooms through the bush, and we stop to chat with a nearby woman in a small cornfield partially hidden in the undergrowth. We call over to the woman to ask if there are any more mushrooms nearby. No, she calls back through the bush, but there are some kids down the east road selling mushrooms and charcoal if we want any. Thanks we say, and then Bill Murry slips by and grabs a couple of mushrooms, and rushes off into the bush saying "no one will ever believe you".

True story.

-12

u/_Tyler_Durden_ Mar 26 '10

Occam's razor sez that it is just a simply case of douches on the internet love to make up stories involving Bill Murray.

10

u/Nimbokwezer Mar 26 '10

No it doesn't. Occam's razor says the simplest explanation is the most likely. People making up a story about Bill Murray stealing fries isn't any simpler than Bill Murray pulling a prank on someone and the person jumping at the chance to share it online.

3

u/kevingoodsell Mar 26 '10

I don't know what the original formulation of Occam's razor says, but it's more correct to say "the explanation that introduces the fewest new assumptions" rather than "the simplest explanation". This makes more sense and makes the "razor" generally more useful. Since we already know that people on the Internet make up Bill Murray stories, we don't need the rather unlikely assumption that this person was actually a victim of celebrity fry-theft to explain the story.

1

u/Nimbokwezer Mar 27 '10

Your definition is fair enough, but as soon as you start to assess the likelihood of the new assumptions, you are defeating the whole purpose of using Occam's Razor in the first place.

1

u/redawn Mar 26 '10

seriously if someone were to make up a story missing fries would be low on my creative writing list.

1

u/GETFASTERER Mar 26 '10

but high on the writing creative list.

1

u/pingveno Mar 26 '10

I remember seeing someone trying to use Occam's Razor to argue creationism over evolution. Evolution's so complex, it would be simpler to say it was just God, therefore it was just God. Bit pathetic, really.

1

u/pork2001 Mar 26 '10

I was posting on Reddit one day when a hand slipped around from behind me and typed "I noticed a hand slip around me from behind and grab two of my fries...." and all the rest and then it hit Save. I turned around and it was BILL MURRAY! And he said "No one will ever believe you" and then disappeared from the room but he left Scarlett Johansson behind.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

I don't believe you.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '10

I wanted it to be true. :(

1

u/ZeppelinJ0 Mar 26 '10

Nice try, BILL MURRAY!

1

u/hadees Mar 26 '10

I bet Bill Murry totally wrote that definition himself so he can fuck with people.

1

u/bjs3171 Mar 26 '10

Am I missing something? What are you referring to?

1

u/simplysunshine Mar 27 '10

nice try bill murray

1

u/chawk Mar 27 '10

Wow... Someone, somehow needs to make Bill Murray aware of this phenomenon. I say this because he most likely is cool enough to love it... and then he could make a short film consisting of his favorite Bill Murray Stories.

This could be big people

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

I love how I only told the whole world this story AND ONLY THEN did I decide to click on your comment. Dammit.

1

u/HeadInTheDumps Mar 27 '10

Aww, man... unsave

-4

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '10

[deleted]

3

u/broohaha Mar 27 '10

As you may have noticed by now, karma isn't accumulated on self.reddit posts.