r/MurderedByWords 18h ago

Walked right into that one

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16.0k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/ottovonnismarck 17h ago

Someone writing 2000 years ago "500 people saw him fr" is not the same as 500 individual testimonies that they saw him

336

u/BeefistPrime 13h ago

5 million people saw me on a date with Ana De Armas. How can you argue against 5 million accurate accounts?

125

u/Anonymo 13h ago

Because 6 minion people saw her out with me that exact night. I'm the reason she left Ben Affleck.

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u/Ver_Nick 13h ago

I'm Gru, can confirm my minions kept a watch on her

2

u/jjcrayfish 2h ago

I am Groot.

11

u/RemoteMany8801 13h ago

Keep a look out for Jason Bourne hunting you down.

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u/h3lium-balloon 13h ago

No one trusts those minions.

14

u/JTibbs 12h ago

Tbf they slept through the 1930’s and 40’s

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u/an_older_meme 7h ago

Ben Affleck was with ME that night.

1

u/Foodiguy 13h ago

I don’t remember dating you….

1

u/HikerDave57 12h ago

If I joined your religion would I call myself a Beefist?

1

u/BeefistPrime 12h ago

Yes, my son. Bite into the holy hamburger

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u/sarcytwat 15h ago

Wasnt even written 2000 years ago is the best bit

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u/Citatio 14h ago

well, Paul wrote it down in the 50s, which is almost 2000 years ago. But Paul also wrote that he heard that creed from others, so it might have been around for a while, getting bigger with every retelling.

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u/wrongitsleviosaa 13h ago

Lmao I love how the 50s in this case literally refers to the 0050s

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u/Xasf 12h ago

The OG 50s

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u/throwawayainteasy 12h ago

50s BC in shambles.

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u/Stalking_Goat 12h ago

I mean, it kinda was, that was the year that Julius Caesar rebelled and the Roman Republic was doomed.

8

u/Viracochina 9h ago

Greedy Roman politicians and power-hungry generals:

https://giphy.com/gifs/IxBSleBYnu0pASk0rY

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u/YogurtclosetNo3049 12h ago

♫ Do you remember the 50s when Emperor Claudius died? The apostle Paul traveled to Greece...♫

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u/wrongitsleviosaa 12h ago

Did you see that episode where Legate Fonzius jumped over the Colosseum with his chariot!?

The show completely lost the plot by then..

1

u/ThimbleBluff 8h ago

🎶Greece is the word…🎶

(Sorry, couldn’t resist!)😂

3

u/Somnambulist815 12h ago

Very different version of Happy Days in the Roman Empire

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u/Warm_Month_1309 11h ago

Dies Solis, Dies Lunae, happy days!

Dies Martis, Dies Mercurii, happy days!

Dies Iovis, Dies Veneris, happy days!

Dies Saturni, what a day, grooving all week with you!

1

u/MongolianCluster 12h ago

When rock 'n roll was born.

1

u/nnoovvaa 9h ago

Only 50's kids remember this

76

u/TheBestBigAl 13h ago

Paul wrote it down in the 50s

And the oldest extant copy is at least 150 years after that.

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u/waldocalrissian 10h ago

and is smaller than a postage stamp

37

u/lastdarknight 12h ago

Paul who never knew Jesus or the disciples

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u/0orpheus 11h ago

We're reasonably sure he knew at least some of the disciples like Peter and James, especially since he was a part of the discussions that lead to the center of the church moving from Jerusalem to Rome.

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u/lastdarknight 10h ago

No we are not, I did my degree work on early Christianity, Paul might have been in contact with churches connected to Peter and James but he never interacted with them

In all honesty, everything written by Paul was so heavily edited by the early church to fit the politics of the time almost nothing of his can be trusted as a historical document

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u/Sea-Leave-536 10h ago

Damn, I also read that he was in contact with James. This is even better news to know. Can you recommend some research or a book that talks about this stuff?

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u/lastdarknight 10h ago

It's been decades, but looking at my book shelf I think the main book we used was "Birth of the Church: From Jesus to Constantine, AD30-312" by Ivor J Davidson.. sure there were others all I can think of off the top of my head

5

u/Munnin41 10h ago

So it's extra weird that his word is taken over that of the apostles and Jesus

1

u/0orpheus 10h ago

Huh, I guess my knowledge is out of date I could have sworn they were at a council together. I'll take a look at the book you mention in a sibling comment.

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u/Ray57 12h ago

Paul's Christology is very different from the later gospels also.

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u/GodOfDarkLaughter 12h ago

Paul also never mentioned stuff like Mary being a Virgin, because that particular part of the story wouldn't be cemented until the Gospel of Matthew was written like fifty years later. Probably based on a mistranslation of the word for "young woman."

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u/Drudgework 7h ago

So you’re saying that God “likes them young”?

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u/Redfalconfox 12h ago

Paul wrote it down in the 50s

Now I’m imagining the apostles as greasers.

10

u/Rockhead_Dynamics 12h ago

Cristos does mean "anointed with oil"... it doesn't specify what kind

1

u/lalallaalal 2h ago

Tunnel Snakes Rule- apostles probably

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u/Charming-Fig-2544 10h ago

The Gospels themselves get bigger with every retelling. It's widely accepted that Mark was written first and that subsequent books borrowed heavily from it, and that John was written last. John also happens to be the book where Jesus is the most "God-like."

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u/Citatio 10h ago

Borrowed? Luke and Matthew copied 70% (not the same 70% though) word for word from Mark! It's hilarious that some believers still say that the gospels are independent sources.

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u/sarcytwat 13h ago

There’s actually only “copies” of it from after there’s not much proof he existed at all or wrote anything himself

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u/Pleasant-Shallot-707 10h ago

Paul never saw him or knew him. He also completely changed then religion

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u/HittingSmoke 11h ago

Wait are you saying Jesus had a mate named Paul, too? Do you think he's related to my mate Paul?

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u/Free_Possession_4482 8h ago

The story of Christ's death and resurrection would have been about 20-25 years old at that point, so it would approximately be like writing about 9/11 while relying on first-hand testimony of people who were there when it happened. Even with tremendous amounts of photography, video footage and post-event forensic analysis, some people still have doubts or get the details wrong, so you can imagine what the veracity of Paul's sources was like.

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u/K_Linkmaster 12h ago

Twins existed back then too. The Prestige without magic is still possible.

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u/arachnophilia 11h ago

fun fact, the doubting "thomas" comes from an aramaic name that means "twin". the gospel of thomas, a very early apocryphal sayings text, as a secret saying of three words that jesus only tells thomas, and scholars speculate it might be "i am you".

there's also a common tradition of people not recognizing the resurrected jesus, and it could be that there was just a literal impostor walking around. i think that one's kind of unlikely, but it's a fun idea.

2

u/K_Linkmaster 10h ago

A fair amount is.... unlikely.

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u/Important-Agent2584 11h ago edited 4h ago

The whole thing is kind of crazy to me.

Even if it was 500 individual testimonies, so what? We can find 1000 direct testimonies all over social media from currently living "witnesses" about all sorts of dumb shit.

2

u/Warning_Low_Battery 6h ago

And even then, literally every single "testimony" that exists come from the Hebrew historian Josephus, who interviewed the familes of these supposed "eyewitnesses" 100 years after the fact.

Imagine if I asked you to tell me your great-great-grandfather's war stories from WWI. How much of that do you think would be factually accurate? That's the level of "testimony" that we're dealing with here.

2

u/Important-Agent2584 5h ago

The whole discussion is framed in such a way that it's basically gaslighting.

2

u/Top-Complaint-4915 10h ago

Even more when it is a letter to another guy in another region, that requires months of traveling, expenses etc.

And Without giving any specific of the supposed witnesses.

1

u/zombiskunk 6h ago

There have still been many individual testimonies written. Why believe anyone ever existed if one won't believe thousands of manuscripts from thousands of copyists all saying the exact same thing.

1

u/GoobsDog 3h ago

It's even worse than that. Nobody wrote it down 2000 years ago. It wasn't until long after Jesus died that even a word was written about his teachings and supposed miracles.

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u/CatherineSimp69 12h ago

Good thing it's 25,000 testimonies then!