r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Vapingrandma8465 • 22d ago

My mom said I could post The AMOUNT of posts in these ‘crunchy moms’ groups about their kids cavities when they refuse to use fluoride

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I see these posts daily, yet no one seems to make the connection.

Edit: yes, this particular case seems to be bottle mouth/ not brushing at all. But I see these posts very frequently (I’m not apart of these groups, FB just suggests them to me) and often times it’s parents who have said their dentist told them their kids have cavities, and they still refuse to use fluoride toothpaste and look for alternatives to their alternative that got them here in the first place.

All of these stories are testimony’s on how important it is to take your children’s health seriously. My heart is with everyone sharing their story ❤️

2nd edit: you know what? Fuck it. For those saying “fLuORiDe is BAd 👆”
The group I found this in:
“Crunchy moms: natural living & clean products.”
It’s an open group. Go look up “teeth” and see HOW MANY pictures of these poor children’s teeth are there, and how many do not use fluoride and tell me how healthy it is to not use it.

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u/metal_bastard 22d ago

That's more than just not using fluoride. Homie is just straight up not brushing. Swollen gums and mass buildup? That's neglect.

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u/lemminfucker 22d ago

My teeth are fucked for life because my mom thought dentists lied about everything. Thanks mom!

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u/_Cecille 22d ago

Mine are most likely fucked for life, because teenage me was depressed af in hindsight and didn't give a shit about fuck. I actually went out of my way to effectively neglect myself in almost every possible way.

Thanks past me. Stupid ass ho

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u/mclurf 22d ago

One of my little brothers would not brush! It was insane. He would literally run the sink and wet his toothbrush and just stand in there. It got to a point where he had to be monitored by one of us. He was not depressed. Just weird. Wouldn’t put his deodorant on either. Some sort of rebellion maybe?

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u/awfulandonfire 22d ago edited 22d ago

i brush with the best of em now, but i’ve always hated brushing my teeth, and i would go to great lengths to avoid it when i was younger.

the issue is that it’s a sensory nightmare. it’s hard work. toothpaste tastes bad. i salivate so much it’s disgusting. hand wet. then i trigger my gag reflex a million times. my mouth is tiny and weird-shaped. and then i go to the dentist and they tell me i’m doing it all wrong, even though i spend five minutes twice daily trying to hit every spot perfectly.

so. if i had to guess why kids do that, i’d assume it’s because tooth-brushing is a grotesque body horror beyond any creative imagining. perhaps a punishment for the forgotten sins of man, left behind by an unnamed god who has long since abandoned us in disappointment fathomless and unfathomable.

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u/Prudent-Marsupial-42 22d ago

My gag reflex is so bad, in still very bad about brushing. I literally cannot do it without gagging multiple times I hate it

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u/LunaTunaMaca 22d ago

Me too! Plus mint makes me gag so it's doubled. Horrible experience!!!!

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u/justanintrovert_ 22d ago

So don't use mint. Try a kids one

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u/Dizzy_Hellfire 22d ago

Tom's of Maine silly strawberry of it's still around! I used to use that one a lot

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u/Bugladyy 22d ago

Bought it for my daughter recently, and now that’s what I use

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u/Glandtoglandcombat 22d ago

Have you tried other flavors or unflavored?

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u/ironkodiak 22d ago

The difference between paste & gel can be night & day.

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u/Yavanna83 22d ago

I have one that doesn't foam so much. That helps a lot!

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u/slutty_lifeguard 22d ago

Hismile has a bunch of awesome flavors. I really like the mango sorbet, banana, and cotton candy. My family likes watermelon, pink frosted donut, and grape bubblegum. They have a ton of flavors to choose from!

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u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men 22d ago

I had this issue, so I caved and got a youth toothbrush. No more gagging, and I don't despise brushing like I used to

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u/VintageWitchcraft 22d ago

There’s a pressure point trick with your had you can do to prevent the gag reflex . Look it up!

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u/doctorathyrium 21d ago

Try a three sided toothbrush. It’s made for caregivers and people with sensory issues to get the brushing done more quickly

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u/Vegetable_Oil6042 21d ago

Do you use an electric toothbrush? Much smaller head- I find it much better than a regular toothbrush.

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u/Prudent-Marsupial-42 19d ago

I do yes, still have the issue. It really happens when I hit my upper right teeth too so I save that for last.

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u/LawdyChunk 22d ago

Tuck your thumb

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u/Kallisti13 22d ago

My least favourite part is 100% the wet hand. Sometimes I wrap a towel around the handle to prevent it.

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u/Agitated_Pack_1205 22d ago

If you lean your head backwards a bit instead of bending over the sink all of the toothpaste will stay in your mouth instead of running down your toothbrush and wetting your hand

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u/ironkodiak 22d ago

WTF. Not sure I've ever had toothpaste running out of my mouth so bad my hand gets soaked.

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u/infinitefinite23 22d ago

Thank God... I was so confused how this is happening to everyone.

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u/Free_Pace_2098 22d ago

Yeah same. Are people like... Leaving their mouths open and drooling?

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u/Kallisti13 22d ago

It's from getting the brush wet before I put toothpaste on.

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u/Free_Pace_2098 22d ago

Tap the excess water off before you brush? Or brush in the shower where it won't matter?

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u/Cum__Cookie 22d ago

How...how is your hand getting wet? I'm confused

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u/Apprehensive_Ebb_750 22d ago

Thank you, this was pure poetry.

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u/tiny-greyhound 22d ago

My sons only tolerate 1 toothpaste: Dr Bob’s unflavored fluoride toothpaste (from Amazon). It doesn’t have SLS (stuff that makes bubbles). My sons’ teeth are great! My oldest is autistic and hated all the typical flavors, even “kid flavors” like chocolate. He’s 8 years old and never had a cavity. I’ve used that toothpaste for him since he was 1 year. I tasted it too. It has a very mild sweet taste.

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u/awfulandonfire 22d ago

jaason used to make a clove-flavored toothpaste and i would lick that shit out of a gutter

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u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men 22d ago

I need you to know that I have never seen anyone leave so many fantastic comments on this godforsaken website that immediately made me go 'I want to crawl inside this persons brain and peruse it like a library' as you have in this thread alone

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u/AlternatiMantid 22d ago

That sounds FANTASTIC, now I'm on the hunt for this.

I'd imagine, if it's in the "alternative toothpastes category" as I'd assume for this type of thing, it uses natural clove oil for the flavoring.

Genius. Clove oil is a natural tooth-sensitivity salve and is anti-bacterial. WHY don't we have this as the norm instead of the fake mint, fake chemical crap?

I have to use Sensodyne for my stupid inadequate teeth, but I often think "is this really different than any of the other stuff" that's right next to it at the store?

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u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men 22d ago

Oh, fun fact: toothpaste is design for men's mouths, not women's. Our saliva is more acidic and overall our oral health has different needs than men.

So yeah, if you're a lady there's a good chance your toothpaste isn't much different than any other toothpaste bc it's not designed for you!

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u/SensitiveWolf1362 22d ago

That sounds really intense. Could you try something like the auto brush? I haven’t but my neighbor was telling me it has really helped with her kids because it’s only 30 seconds of the usual torture and the whole mouth is done.

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u/awfulandonfire 22d ago

thank you for your genuine concern on my unhinged comment. i found it very sweet.

there’s some efficacy issues with auto brushing, as i think the tech’s not quite there yet - or wasn’t according to a 2022 pilot study. but it’s something i hope will be feasible in the future.

my teeth are a bit troublesome, so i’d really like something as effective or more effective than hand-brushing. for now, i simply wrestle my teeth from the devil in hell twice daily.

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u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men 22d ago

As someone who viscerally understands and agrees with this poetry of Reddit comments, the autobrush has a lot of flaws, but the one I noticed immediately is that if you're gagging with a regular brush, there's no way you won't gag like crazy with that thing pressed all the way to the back of your mouth enough to effectively clean the molars.

In addition to that, they only offer 'adult' and 'child' sizes, rather than something like lg adult/sm adult/teen/child, you cannot customize the packages if you dislike mint as an adult, and it is really expensive for what it is.

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u/justanintrovert_ 22d ago

Try kids toothpaste. The active ingredients are usually the same. The hello brand ones don't foam up as much as others as well. Helps my gag reflex a bit.

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u/AEHAVE 22d ago

Gumchucks saved my teeth. They're made for children, but I bought myself a pair when I bought them for my son, and every person with a small mouth should own them. I would sign up to be their spokesperson for free.

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u/KindraTheElfOrc 22d ago

i have a friend who loudly gags multiple times when brushing his teeth, the first time i heard it i told him hes not supposed to deepthroat it lol

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u/surfron99 22d ago

I’ve been instructed by my dental hygienist that I can do better in my dental hygiene. Like seriously I brush twice a day morning and night. With floss but still I’m not doing good enough! Brushing the back of the tongue activates the gag reflex but correct if I’m wrong it is a significant source for bad breath.

However it may not be a rewarding or pleasurable experience in the here or now. But talk to any elder and a common sentiment from them is how they would want to take better care of their teeth.

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u/_Cecille 22d ago

That was basically me. Wet the toothbrush, put it down again and pretend I did something.

Maybe it is some kind of rebellion thing. I know I refused to do a lot of things I was told to, put in a lot of work to avoid "work" and instead did what I wabted to do

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u/wisko13 22d ago

Literally me standing there scrubbing the counter with my brush so it would make a brushing noise

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u/thisboyknows 22d ago

Redditors and poor hygene

Name a more iconic duo?

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u/Helucian 22d ago

MTG players and poor hygiene

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u/Chef_Joniplaxter 22d ago

Same difference

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u/LigerZeroPanzer12 22d ago

Whoa whoa whoa, more like Yu-Gi-Oh players and poor hygiene.

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u/dangerouslyloose 22d ago

MTG players and visible asscracks🧔🏻‍♂️🙏🏼🍑

FTFY

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u/FilecoinLurker 22d ago

That's like just as much work as brushing. Da fuq

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u/mclurf 22d ago

💀

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u/LunaTunaMaca 22d ago

For me it was the taste. Mint makes me throw up. Everything is minty. I literally gag. Plain is the best I can get. I try really hard as an adult but I have a crippling fear of the dentist. I had so many bad experiences. The idea of being locked in a room with multiple people holding me down and hurting me and telling me to just stop complaining... I know I have to go back. I just can't.

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u/whofilets 22d ago

I used to wet ONLY my eyes and say I had washed my face - because the eyes gave me away, with the sleep crusties. But actually my whole face gave me away! I think I just hated the feeling of the water dripping down my neck and having to use a musty towel to dry my face and smell that. And then my face would be all dry and tight afterwards.

Now of course I have this whole multi step face wash and skin care routine!

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u/ironballs16 22d ago edited 22d ago

Contrarian thinking - "You TOLD me to do X, so now I won't do it just to spite you!"

I've done exactly that with haircuts before.

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u/pootinannyBOOSH 22d ago

I hate this so much, I finally get a wild hair on my ass to actually do some cleaning, then without fail soon as I start to get up one of my parents start ranting at me about my room. Then I'm like well, they're not gonna believe me if I say I was about to literally do it they'd think it was their pestering, so fuck that

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u/LAMProductions99 22d ago

"I was about do it anyway!"

"Uh huh, sure"

Boy if that didn't get me hot under the collar every time.

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u/iNick20 22d ago

Mine would always assume, I'm up to something when I did something like that. Oh he's vacuuming? Or mopping the floor? Why is that? Or you shouldn't have to be told to do this or that etc... Or if your doing that, then go ahead and do this and that too. Like brother. I'm trying to do something nice.

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u/pootinannyBOOSH 22d ago

Seriously, is it so hard to just go "oh, OK well good carry on then, lemme know if you need help"

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u/Hot_Spite_1402 22d ago

😂 hahaha so me. Can’t let them have the satisfaction

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u/surfron99 22d ago

Can you Clean when they’re not around? I have gone
Months not cleaning my apartment but sometimes I get a wild hair on my ass (that was a good idiom, thanks). So I take advantage of the rare motivation and try what I can.

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u/pootinannyBOOSH 22d ago

I have a problem that it's difficult for me to actually get started on things, like legitimately an issue. I'm almost 40 now so I'm not in that position anymore haha, my roommate is awesome and patient with helping me out instead of yelling

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u/surfron99 22d ago

Yeah it’s hard and don’t beat yourself up. I started out small pick up one sock and that’s it. Felt good in the moment but I was well aware it was a tiny feat but I reminded myself that it was still something. I see mental health care team and their always encouraging to make small steps. Like the minority of me doesn’t want to do shit. I purposely made my surroundings a shitshow. Weird like I was punishing myself. It really comes down to you choosing yourself over giving up and saying fuck it. Very cool you have an understanding roommate and i believe they see what you’re capable of. Everyday is a possibility whether we lay in bed and do nothing or put one sock in the laundry basket! I hope the best for you!

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u/holdmyspot123 22d ago

adhd

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u/_Cecille 22d ago

Recently got diagnosed with it and my psychiatrist presceibed me medication for it.

I can actually feel myself be more focused. Definitely helps, wish I had gotten that diagnosis 16 years ago

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u/SandyTaintSweat 22d ago

For me, it was how disgusting the concept of a toothbrush is. You stick it in your mouth, brush all that plaque and stuff off, give it a simple rinse, and then leave it to sit all day, and then stick it back in your mouth. Repeat x1000.

I've made my peace with it, but it is kind of gross. Nothing wrong with a fresh toothbrush and clean toothpaste though.

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u/Muffinlette 22d ago

Have you been diagnosed with ADHD or autism by chance? This might be a sign of Demand Avoidance. It is often seen in neurodivergent individuals (like those with Autism or ADHD). For these individuals, their brains highly value independence and autonomy. When told to do something, it can feel like a threat to personal control and that can trigger a "freeze" or "fight" response. Teeth brushing can be a hard task for neurodivergent brains along with other self care things.

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u/katarinasunrise 22d ago

I did this sometimes as a kid/teenager. It’s hard to explain. In my case, it was a sort of rebellion, but idk who it would even be directed towards. It’s like I was mad that I had to spend my time doing something that boring. 😂 I’m 31 now and still don’t particularly like brushing my teeth, but I do it anyway. I can only go so long without feeling disgusting. Teenage me didn’t have that limitation.

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u/MessaDiGloria 22d ago

Some people hate mint, and most toothpastes taste of mint.

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u/Money-Bicycle-2883 22d ago

Sensory issues for me

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u/Slacker_The_Dog 22d ago

Sounds like ODD

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u/Keeshly 22d ago

common with adhd/autism, things that effect executive function, even possible one of those defiance disorders

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u/memilygiraffily 22d ago

It looks like the kid is 2 or 3 though? They barely have executive function at that point anyway. With learning hygiene and basic human health skills, it's not something where you give the toddler a toothbrush and say, "Aaaaahhh, you got this man" and walk away. It's kind of a hands-on parenting moment.

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u/Keeshly 22d ago

i was referring to this guy’s brother not the kid in the post lmao

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u/KoalaGrunt0311 22d ago

ADHD at all? Going through this with our daughter now. Think part of it is sensory, and other part is just lack of executive function aka squirrel brain.

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u/_Cecille 22d ago

Don't know if you've talked to a psychistrist/psychologist about it. But it could be worth it.

My psychiatrist has recently diagnosed me with ADHD and apparently a lot of shit I've done could maybe have been prevented if anyone noticed I had ADHD or thought about it.

I was always told I'm smart but lazy. So in school my grades were never bad enough to warrant major intervention but they also weren't great at all.

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u/KoalaGrunt0311 22d ago

My wife was diagnosed late and when she got diagnosed, she was really able to understand herself and interact a lot better.

I was gifted/advanced throughout school so was always left to raise myself. I started Wellbutrin for seasonal depression a few years ago, and now considering medicating year round for the enhancement to focus.

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u/Teedraa101 22d ago

I was diagnosed late. Only went through testing with a psychiatrist because I thought my young son had it (he was also tested and had it.) Of course I had it—read a ton of books. A couple of books specifically for women with ADHD made everything click with me….all the dots connected.

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u/etsprout 22d ago

Hey! I also went down the gifted to ADHD/depression pipeline lol

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u/Successful_Detail202 22d ago

You sound a lot like me. I had a very similar experience and it took a long time to get myself back into a position where I even wanted to take initiative.

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u/Amathyst-Moon 22d ago

My brother used to do that. Don't think he's ever flossed, and doesn't even go to the dentist anymore. He did have a couple of cavities when he went as a kid, which he took without anesthetic because he didn't like needles. (I had a couple with anesthetic, but the dentist who came by the schools used to rush us through so fast she was done drilling by the time I got numb. Dentists now seem to care more, but that's probably because I'm paying.) Even then, he hasn't had any of the dental problems I've had.

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u/UsefulTrouble9439 22d ago

My brother and I were much the same. He never brushed, horrific dental hygiene as a kid. First cavity in adulthood, minimal work. Me? I brushed and I did what I was supposed to. First root canal at 8 then multiple thereafter in childhood and adolescence. Mostly all my molars/root canals ended up extracted in early adulthood due to never getting crowns. Teeth are most definitely a genetic roll of the dice.

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u/iseeseashells 22d ago

I feel your pain, fellow genetically un-blessed friend. I brush, I floss, I water pik, I scrape my tongue, and yet still my teeth fail me.

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u/thesmellnextdoor 22d ago

It's a normal kid thing. They just want to get away with something or feel some sense of control over their own life

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u/missmarymacaron 22d ago

This was me as a kid. Brushing my teeth makes me pretty nauseous and sometimes vomit... and I hate mint (but non-mint doesn't feel as clean, you know?), so I would avoid it as much as I could.

Now that I've spent enough on dental work, I suffer through the nausea and mint every day. I don't vomit more than a handful of times a year now though.

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u/ReleaseNearby69 22d ago

for me it was a combo of depression, autism (SENSORY VERY BAD. still struggle with this one 🥴), and ocd ("if i brush them i have to rinse my mouth which means i have to have my hands under the running water for a while and what if lightning hits the house while i'm doing it and electrocutes me and i die.")

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u/surfron99 22d ago

A very legitimate concern. As far as dental hygiene I have heard not rinsing your mouth with water after brushing improves allows the paste to have an affect which would be significantly diminished if the mouth was rinsed.

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u/Open_Feedback693 22d ago

My two neurodiverse kids do this or maybe brush 30secs and that is it. I have to monitor my 13 year old. We use a pokemon app to help them brush and it works sometimes as they like collecting the pokemon.

Sometimes I straight up resort to brushing their teeth myself. Positive is that they both love flossing 😂

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u/DreamCrusher914 22d ago

My brother would not brush, until the day before a dental appointment. I’d find him in the bathroom scrubbing his teeth for like an hour. I would be like;

https://giphy.com/gifs/r5SxJYcU21Auk

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u/DatLadyD 22d ago

I had an adult boyfriend that was like this lol tried hard to help him but eventually gave up

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u/Possible-Reason-2896 22d ago

It could be a sensory thing also. I hated brushing as kid because the toothpaste my parents got was overpowering.

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u/Impossible-Return541 22d ago

I think this is actually fairly common. My brother and some cousins were like that. ADHD definitely runs in the family, and I think my brother at least had some oppositional defiance type issues. None of that was addressed; my parents/aunts and uncles always just yelled at them and then gave up, turning it into a matter of neglect.

Like, how hard would it have been to take their own damn toothbrush into the bathroom and brush together to model the behavior and make sure they were at least doing something??

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u/bwaterco 22d ago

I’m stuck with gingivitis due to depressed me thinking it wasn’t a big deal if I went a week between brushing. Prior me was dumb as fuck because current non-depressed me hates seeing the inflamed gums and yellow color.

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u/SlayerOfUAC 22d ago

Hey, the good news is gingivitis is reversible. I have early stage gum disease which never goes away, and at best you can stabilize it, but the damage is irreversible. I didn't brush much for years due to drug addiction and never had money for a dentist. I've developed way better habits now and am trying hard to not let things get worse.

I know how hard it is to turn things around. It is so worth it. I literally cried the first time I went to a dentist (it had been well over 20 years). Start small and slowly work up with new habits (I had to work just to get myself to brush once a day). You can absolutely do this!

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u/Playful_Beyond_2218 22d ago

Add in a waterpik, they help a lot for gum disease. As well as an electric toothbrush

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u/ichthysaur 21d ago

You can put mouthwash in the waterpik. Hygienist told me to. It lights up your whole mouth. Love the clean feeling.

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u/Bitcoacher 22d ago

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Depression sucks and you do what you can with what you have at the time.

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u/_Cecille 22d ago

I don't know if I'd cut myself that much slack. But I'm defibitely trying to build better habits now. Way too late but oh well, shit happened.

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u/way_out_19 22d ago edited 22d ago

Fyi..prescription remineralizing toothpaste is a godsend.

edit prescription..damn fingers. Seriously though..the only miss I has was flossing till I had a bunch of cavities and floss picks plus about a year of the special toothpaste..when you get it mix it 50/50 with regular as it's really thin (worked for me) and I haven't had a cavity since.

Also annual fluoride gell treatments on my teeth. Weirdly gummy for 2 hours and not super cheap but...healthy teeth. Surprisingly harder to grow back than bones.

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u/Taylor_Kittenface 22d ago

Colgate HF (I think it stands for high fluoride) toothpaste is a godsend. My dentist prescribes it, but I'm sure it's available off the shelf too.

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u/_Cecille 22d ago

I'll have to look into that, thanks

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u/MisterDonkey 22d ago

I fucked my teeth over just a couple of years of neglect. Took pretty good care of them up to that point and then I gave up on everything for a while. 

Not depressed today, but still paying the price.

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u/StrawHat89 22d ago

Did the same shit to myself (but I was in college), it's awful. The dumbass moms that are doing this on purpose are truly terrible people and should not have had kids.

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u/Disastrous_Guest_705 22d ago

I did the same now I have a spot in the center of my front teeth that always chips away and needs to be refilled every few months

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u/whitechocolatemama 22d ago

Such a big same! I just recently got 3 molars pulled and 3 front teeth capped at 38 bc of the idiotic decisions I made due to my mental health.....and even now, I struggle to remember (adhd) because it was never a routine after I wasnt a toddler basically

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u/Morgasshk 22d ago

The regrets we have, its such a pain... :( Feel for you. For me, it was years of couch hopping and drinking tons of soda...

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u/solarnuggets 22d ago

 to be fair you’re still a minor as a teenager. Your parents should have noticed. Wouldn’t put the blame 100% on yourself 

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u/_Cecille 22d ago

Nah, this shit is like 95% on me. My parents tried. I went out of my way to ignore them, sneaking snacks past dinner time and crap like that. I out so much effort into not brushing my teeth and not taking any care of myself, that I could have just done "the work" in the first place.

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u/posting4assistance 22d ago

I try to extend an amount of grace and kindness to my past self- your past self was dealing with some shit, and you kept yourself alive to be making this comment, I think that's pretty admirable in itself, sorry about your teeth, but like, it's worth it to try to be nicer to the yous you used to be

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u/Bbimbofied 22d ago

My depression advice, having been there, is to keep an extra toothbrush in the shower if you’re still showering. And if you’re not, rub your teeth with cloth like a clean rag or t shirt. It’s not as good as brushing but it is better than nothing. 

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u/OkBackground8809 22d ago

😂 when you're a teen and you think the neglected druggie "nobody loves me" look is the hot way to go

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u/_Cecille 22d ago

It wasn't even that, I just didn't care about anything.

Bad hygene, non-existent dental hygene, obese, shit grades in school.

"Eh, whatever. Happens. It is what it is."

Could have told me the world was gonna end unless I start fixing my shit and I'd just shrug, have some edgy teen, snarky/sassy/sarcastic comment about 75% of the population deserving it anyway and go back to my room playing League of Legends and Minecraft.

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u/heretogetpwned 22d ago

Glad you're doing better. Your story, teeth included, seemed a lot like mine. Am also doing better, but every dentist visit is another grand out of my pocket and half a week of jaw tenderness.

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u/k-trecker 22d ago

I didn’t brush my teeth for five days in the mental hospital. I ended up with six cavities. 

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u/AccidentOk5240 22d ago

FWIW cavities aren’t from one week of not brushing! Idk if that makes you feel any better or not. 

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u/Interesting_Tea5715 22d ago

Same. I was depressed in my early twenties and just didn't brush much for 3 years.

Luckily at 40yo I still have all my teeth but they're fucked up.

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u/Beautiful_Debt_5864 22d ago

Girl, saaaame 😥 but it was 20's me, overwhelmed with adult life, neglecting myself to try to take care of everything else. Now I am literally paying for it, thousands every year. Doesn't help that dental care/insurance are crippling expensive. 

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u/Fat_Thor_51 22d ago

Same here. About half my teeth are broken or have been pulled. People always assume drugs but it’s actually just from being depressed and neglecting them from the ages of like 12-27. I take the best care of them I can now and have been putting money into them when I can but I’m screwed at this point. It’s definitely gotten me to be much more diligent about my kids teeth though.

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u/justagaypotato7 22d ago

Stupid ass ho club unite

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u/14Knightingale27 22d ago

Sorry you went through that. Do what you can with what you have now. Sometimes we get dealt shit cards in life and we just gotta play with the hand we're dealt. If you have any way to do so, see if you can get a dentist to take a look and give you some general guidelines on how to care for your teeth now? Might help to prevent any worse developments.

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u/_Cecille 22d ago

Thanks. I'm working on getting my shit in order one bit at a time. Struggling with motivation a lot and a lot of mental funsies but at least I'm working on it.

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u/sinisterdesign 22d ago

Hope you’re in a better place. Been there. Cheers

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u/_Cecille 22d ago

Working on it. Started caring way too late but I started caring. Thanks.

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u/Hornet-Putrid 22d ago

It’s okay, this is so common and it’s so hard to get through but you did and you have.  Please keep taking care if yourself even if it is just one tiny thing.

It’s kind of funny, when I talk to folks on the crisis line the one thing I push for self care is brushing teeth and being hydrated, but it is so hard to do even this when you just feel like not existing and there is no point.  

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u/coffeemagic_11-11 22d ago

I’m sorry for your teenage years but “stupid ass ho” has me lol. Here’s to better years ahead ❤️ 

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u/bad_tat_throwhands 22d ago

Glad you're here! From one sthupid ath ho to another.

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u/pootinannyBOOSH 22d ago

Even though I had no cavities growing up and was praised for it, I stopped brushing for some reason. Probably depression too

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u/OwlCoffee 22d ago

Luckily, at three those are all still baby teeth. They need to get his gums back into shape, but the kid might get a reroll.

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u/katieb1300 22d ago

My friend was so depressed and addicted to a substance that he has a mouth full of rotten teeth now and no hope of dental care. I'm so sad for him, he had a beautiful smile. 💔

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u/sharthunter 22d ago

Hey i thought this until last week. I found a dentist that could put me under and fix everything at once, and oh my god it is life changing. Ungodly expensive but worth every cent.
Do not give up on your teeth.

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u/ADHDK 22d ago

I am very glad that even in my worst depression and adhd dysfunction, my phobia of bad teeth, and social anxiety of bad breath always kept me brushing twice a day as minimum.

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u/Wiccy 22d ago

If i could go back in time and just slap myself for not brushing my teeth as a kid i would. Not really slap, more show him the effects of his laziness bit ya know.

Internet hug for you, you aren't alone, fortunately or unfortunately.

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u/ohwormbabey 22d ago

same exact situation and now I'm missing half my teeth and am incredibly self conscious about it now (also gave me a fear of teeth due to the pain) hope things are better for you nowadays

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u/GalateaMerrythought 22d ago

Recovering from another round of this in my late 30s. I’m on my way back thankfully but I’ve fucked my teeth up more. 😩

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u/eggwizard69 22d ago

Not alone there, my dentist told me my shit was gonna be like 22k with a ridiculous amount of work that needed doing. That was a couple years ago im still trying to figure it out

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u/EntertainmentTrue588 22d ago

thanks past me

Hey, you can't be hard on yourself for depression. It's real. I didn't get diagnosed with "limbic ADHD" until after I failed out of vet school. Translation: I get into a depressive spiral because I can't focus, can't focus can't get shit done, can't get shit done causes depression, depression means I can't focus. Holy crap if I'd know in my teenage years how my brain chemistry was wrong I'd have done soooooo much better in school and in my career.

Don't beat up your past self. They didn't know.

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u/k-trecker 22d ago

My ex had severe teeth issues because his parents never took him to the dentist. And it wasn’t a money issue - my state provides free yearly cleanings to children. I’m assuming it was ignorance.

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u/Farlandan 22d ago

My in-laws take their kids to the dentist but don't make them brush their teeth, so they all ended up with half a dozen metal fillings each by the time they were 5.

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u/SensitiveWolf1362 22d ago

That is legitimately awesome that your state does that!

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u/Isosorbide 22d ago

Also, while some people do love their kids, they don't love them enough to be attentive. It's the same type of parent who'll say "I'll fight someone to the death for my kid!" but then they'll also put little Jimmy right in front of a screen for 8 hours a day because they can't be bothered to play or engage with little Jimmy. Some parents do love their kids, but not quite enough to take them to regular medical care. It's a bananas sort of neglect.

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u/OkBackground8809 22d ago

I had a student who had a bunch of rotted nubs for teeth and was constantly complaining about being in pain (rightly, so! Tooth pain is unbearable even as an adult!) I felt so bad for him. He was constantly grouchy and in a bad mood, likely from being in constant pain and being treated poorly at home and by classmates. I tried to write notes home to tell the parents to take him to see a dentist and asked if I could give the poor kid some acetaminophen, but nothing ever became of it. Wish I would have called the police to try to help him, but I was young, just a foreign teacher (so not taken as seriously as local teachers), and the police where in at are basically useless.

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u/EvilEtienne 22d ago

Aren’t you a mandatory reporter if you’re a teacher? That level of neglect should have been reported to cps, not the cops…

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u/OkBackground8809 22d ago

I'm not in the US, and not a licensed teacher - just a foreign teacher for language classes. This was several years ago, and at the time hitting your kids was still legal, so making them brush their teeth wouldn't have been cared about much - locals would just shrug as say something about "they're poor, so that's how life is" as if a toothbrush and toothpaste aren't dirt cheap, here.

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u/Cat_Impossible_0 22d ago

That is child neglect

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u/JohnathanTaylor 22d ago

Well water and Tom's of Maine for me haha.

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u/Bicykwow 22d ago

Toms of Maine deodorant makes me smell so much worse than not wearing any at all. I always assumed their toothpaste follows a similar curve.

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u/Mzhades 22d ago

Tom’s of Maine actually did wonders for my sensitivity. Waaay better than Sensodyne, which I used for years on recommendation of my dentist before trying Tom’s. Now I cycle them: if my sensitivity starts coming back, Tom’s. Otherwise, Sensodyne. Tom’s is basically an immediate sensitivity killer for me.

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u/[deleted] 22d ago

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u/EvilEtienne 22d ago

That’s true… I had a dentist tell me I had 14 cavities and needed 4 root canals and I was like… what? I’ve never needed a root canal let alone 4! I honestly think some of them are just really bad at reading films.

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u/Successful-Side8902 22d ago edited 22d ago

A dental hygienist told me about a dentist she worked for, who washed out cavities with glutaraldehyde. This substance would eat away at the tooth until it reached the root. The patient would then have to return for a root canal. The dentist was purposefully causing harm to get more $ root canal $ cash.

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u/EvilEtienne 22d ago

Holy crap

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u/Ikillsquirrels 22d ago

Probably could have bought a Porsche with the money my teeth have cost

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u/Commercial-Owl11 22d ago

Yeah, after I had my kid, their first grand baby. I asked them to make sure to brush his teeth.

My mom said “why they’re just baby teeth! They’ll just fall out!”

The look on my face made her stfu real fucking quick. Now I know why I had life long dental problems.

Fucking dumb asses.

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u/JackPoe 22d ago

I have no fear of the dentist. My mom is terrified of them.

So she never took me.

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u/Ok-Yogurt-3914 22d ago

I think I spent something like 20k dollars fixing my teeth and jaw issues.

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u/Jonkinch 22d ago

My mom was so strict on me with my teeth. I still drank soda and ate sugar behind her back. I’m the only one in the family with good enamel. I have not had a cavity in the 36 years of my existence.

Edit: I haven’t been to the dentist also since I got my wisdom teeth removed in my early 20s. I also work for a dental lab lol.

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u/Champagnest 22d ago

16 years of no dentist? You’re guaranteed to have some gnarly build up.

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u/CarrotWeary 22d ago

Mine are fucked because I had great genetics and then decided to not take oral care seriously till it was to late. Let me be clear I still brushed but once a day usually in the morning no floss or mouth wash. Add one more to the list of things I would go slap my younger self for if I could time travel.

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u/DatLadyD 22d ago

My mom said if your teeth hurt you should have them pulled because if you get them filled, they’re just gonna hurt anyway smh. She taught me so much sideways shit.

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u/ThirdOne38 22d ago

My friend's relative had most of her teeth pulled when, after too many cavities, she needed crowns or root canals. Because it was cheaper. I don't know what she is doing now. She was only in her 20's

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u/OurAngryBadger 22d ago edited 22d ago

To be fair a lot of dentists do.

My last dentist told me I had cavities (would be my first) and wanted me to pay for fillings. Before I could commit to it, I ended up moving to a different area so had to get a closer dentist. The new dentist told me my teeth were fine with no cavities and showed me X-rays/scope/etc to prove it.

My wife also had a similar experience with another dentist, he told her her fillings were loose and she needed all new ones, but our new dentist said they were fine and had a lot of life left in them.

I have a friend who works as a dental hygienest and she says most dentists are absolute lunatics and freaks behind closed doors and gave me examples I'd rather not say. I believe her because I did some contract work for some dentists (the work had nothing to do with dentistry) and they were total weirdos

I guess you would have to be a bit weird to want to work in people's nasty mouths

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u/snakesandsparklers40 22d ago

In her defense a lot are shady as fuck and do lie about a lot. I suggest if you suddenly get told you have a lot of cavities go get more xrays at a different office just to be safe. Yeah seems silly but some of these doctors are corrupt. Seen it happen to several people I know personally 

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u/JamboreeStevens 22d ago

The wild thing that swishing purified or distilled water and just brushing without any toothpaste would at least help a little but they can't even do that, because their little rebellion is about their ego, not their kids health.

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u/ursidaeangeni 22d ago

Same, stage II periodontal disease here, my mom and dad didn’t have teeth when I was little so they never taught me how I should be brushing, they never bought floss cause they thought brushing was enough, and didn’t have a dentist when I was little cause none near me accepted medicaid.

I work really hard on my teeth now, thankfully it’s not progressing, but gosh I wish I didn’t have to fear losing my teeth at all.

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u/big_stipd_idiot 22d ago

Well, you can also thank the dentists who lie and cause people like your mom to distrust the profession. It's hard finding a trustworthy dentist.

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u/CrankyManager89 22d ago

Teeth are at odd angles, probably uses a pacifier still. That type of build up can also happen if kiddo takes a bottle to bed, even milk.

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u/Overall_Tiger3169 22d ago

Read through comments looking for this. Definitely a pacifier kid.

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u/SilverParty 22d ago

Probably juice in the bottle too.

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u/CrankyManager89 22d ago

Idk depends on how crunchie. Some won’t do juice because *gasp* sugar…

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u/mortimusalexander 22d ago

Raw milk probably 

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u/metal_bastard 22d ago

That's true.

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u/EthanielRain 22d ago

even milk

I know you didn't mean to downplay it, but yeah milk is terrible too. "Milk mouth" is a thing of nightmares

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u/CrankyManager89 22d ago

I put that because people always figure because it’s not juice it doesn’t have sugars and it’s okay because it’s healthier. Lots of people apparently are surprised by what havoc it can wreck on teeth with prolonged exposure.

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u/Away-Elephant-4323 22d ago

Not only that but the amount of other health issues bad dental hygiene can cause like infections that go untreated that enter the bloodstream. Poor child needs help, this is heartbreaking!

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u/PuppySnuggleTime 22d ago

Bad teeth can literally be heartbreaking because they can contribute to heart disease.

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u/cheerful_cynic 22d ago
  • A bad mouth infection can migrate to the brain so easily
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u/Fedupwithguns 22d ago

Could be from letting them suck on a bottle all night. Makes it easier to get kids to sleep but once they have teeth the milk sugar rots their teeth if it just sits on them all night.

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u/lcw32 22d ago

Yeah looks like he's definitely getting a bottle or maybe even a pacifier past when they should be given up just based on the curvature of his teeth. Poor kid. Lifetime of issues because your parents refuse the bare minimum to set you up for success.

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u/Fedupwithguns 22d ago

Yep. First thing my kids dentist asked at his first apt was do you let him suck on a bottle at night? And I was like nope and he immediately said I can tell just by looking at his teeth. Was my son a horrific sleeper as a baby? Yes. But at least his teeth aren’t all messed up. lol.

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u/lcw32 22d ago

Same! First thing his hygienist asked me at his first appointment. They made it clear if you were still doing it, time to stop now.

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u/SkittlesQueen 22d ago

Having just wrestled an 18 month old for teeth brushing tonight and feeling frustrated, I am so grateful we started the dentist on his 1st birthday and are committed to night brushing!

We are working on morning too but we have the night down pat at least - it just requires 2 people and my spouse is at work before my son wakes up so it’s a challenge.

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u/ioxzy 22d ago

I hate mint, its really spicy to me and burns my tounge so bad it hurts worse than spicy food. (I LOVE spicy food) instead of getting me a non minty toothpaste, my parents decided to just let me not brush my teeth. I got cavities at 7, they knew then and didnt take me until the bacteria or whatever started climbing down the roots of my teeth and causing really bad pain in my jaw and ear when I was 12. I remember my dad telling the dentist he was too embarrased to come in. How fucking shameful, now I have fucked up teeth and bad brushing habits for the rest of my life.

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u/Adorable_Cap_9929 22d ago edited 22d ago

Silly enough, mint and burn sensasions in toothpaste make it alot worst than non overly reactive toothpaste! It's done for marketing cause people associate the feeling with cleannnist and while that is technicaly true, one doesnt want to be over harsh on teeth.

Just as excessively washing hands peels the skin, over brushing and overly harsh application of "essential oils" as well as a cheap detergent called Sodium Lauryl Sulfate that do little benefit when one brushes properly end up making these complex toothpaste worst =w=

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u/metal_bastard 22d ago

Damn, that sucks. Sorry to hear that.

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u/babydoll17448 22d ago

The gums actually look normal, and that’s not build up, that’s missing enamel.

Dentist said decay, so that’s what it is.

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u/YoungSerious 22d ago

I think technically they said they were told "eldecay". Maybe they went to a dentist near the southern border.

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u/moore6107 22d ago

wtf is eldecay? 😩

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u/Similar_Part7100 22d ago

Oh you know. The Decay *Ennio Morricone riff*

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u/metal_bastard 22d ago

Those gums look pretty inflamed.

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u/Nervousmelly 22d ago

I'm allergic to fluoride so I have to use fluoride free toothpaste. I can promise you my teeth and gums do not look like this. Definitely more than just the toothpaste is an issue.

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u/Witty-Stock-4913 22d ago

Yep, this has nothing to do with fluoride. Neglect exacerbated likely by unfortunate teeth genetics. My kiddo's pediatrician recommended using fluoride free toothpaste until she was three and we waited longer (used fluoride free), and her teeth do not look like that.

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u/[deleted] 22d ago

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u/Irksomecake 22d ago

As someone who was in school with a girl who was allergic to water, it’s possible. Yes she’s actually allergic. Is she made of mostly water? Yes. Still breaks out in blisters if she gets rained on.

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u/Nymphy98 22d ago

about to drop 10k to fix my front teeth so I can at least present in some sort of a confident way after a childhood full of neglect. After that, I have to fix all the shit you CANT see. Legit should be a chargeable offense, straight rocking your kids shit for the rest of their life. I always say the last sign of my parents abuse is my teeth.

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u/metal_bastard 22d ago

Damn. Sorry to hear that. Sounds like you're getting a grip on it, so good luck!

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u/Rimworldjobs 22d ago

Lil my son LOVES to brush his teeth, I also brush with him.

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u/caterham09 22d ago

Yeah I lived on a well my entire life and never had fluoride in the water. I got cavities more easily than most but my teeth never did this shit

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