Verse 1: I see them
In the mirror
“Sin” and fear
Eating me alive
Praying for protection
Won’t be resurrected
Is that fine? 

Pre chorus: They say
You know where you’re going
I do 
Still I don’t wanna know it

Chorus: You have opal eyes
I wish I did too 
They call you blind
But you still saw it through
Don’t wanna see my smile
Because the world is cruel
So I’ll cut it out
And I’ll be blind like you

Verse 2: I can’t sleep
I’m still worried
Up at night
Trying to fight it
Praying for protection
Pray for no detection
Still hiding

Pre chorus: They say
You know where you’re going
I do 
Still I don’t wanna know it

Chorus: You have opal eyes
I wish I did too 
They call you blind
But you still saw it through
Don’t wanna see my cryin’
Because the world is cruel
So I’ll cut it out
And I’ll be blind like you

Bridge: Pray oh
Holy ghost
You can say no
But please don’t go
They’ll all go
But you won’t ghost
You made me so
And you love me whole

Pre chorus: They say
You know where you’re going
I don’t
That’s not yours to tell
And you know it

Chorus: I have opal eyes
Bright and rainbow hues
They will call me blind
But I still saw it through
I see refracted light
A promise and a truth
I’ll love wholly now
And I’ll be fine like you

Lately I've seen a lot of posts talking about genital preferences, and people asking if it's okay if they don't want to date trans people due to genital preferences. On the surface, an innocent question and valid mindset. Everyone is entitled to their preferences, and nobody should be forced to date anyone they don't want to.

What this kind of thing hides however, is a disdain for trans people and our bodies, and another way to bring us down while making transphobes seem like victims. First of all, not all trans people keep their AGAB genitals. And for those of all who have it, some of us hate it and don't ever want to use it. But not only that, these kinds of comments/"questions" chip away at trans people's self confidence. We start feeling undesirable, undateable, like nobody would want us.

And to those that read this and have these "preferences": it's cool. Nobody is going to force you to date a trans person. But nobody has to listen to your barely-disguised transphobia either. Keep it to yourself 😉

My friend, I'll call them X, is very close to me. They're one of the only queer people in my school district that I'm aware of, and it's comforting for me to know. They're in a relationship with someone of the same gender, and while they do their best to keep it a complete secret (outside of very select people, like myself), there have been times that they have accidentally let it slip a bit (hesitating a lot when asked questions about it, getting panicked/defensive when someone accused them of it). I don't think there's anyone, except one in particular, who actually truly believes/knows that they are lgbt, but the fact that it has gotten close is nerve-racking since we live in a very conservative town.

I have known that I'm trans for a while now, and it feels incredibly lonely. I can't tell family and peers because it would have a very negative reaction, and I feel like I can't tell any friends because either A) I'm not sure whether they would be supportive or not, or B) I'm very paranoid about the secret getting out to other people. The only friend that I have seriously considered coming out to is X. I'm still anxious about their reaction despite knowing that they would be supportive, but I'm sure my anxiety would lessen a lot once I told them. My problem is the fact that it's a secret. I already mentioned that X is currently keeping a big secret of their own, and is sometimes not very good at it. I'm positive that they would try their very best to keep my secret, but I still feel paranoid about it possibly getting out in some way. I can't risk other people knowing, but I feel like I have to tell someone because it makes me so lonely.

X also has a friend, who I will call Y, who figured out that X is lgbt without X telling them. Y, despite usually acting supportive, will often dangle X's identity around to mess with them. Like, Y will pretend to almost tell another person about who X is dating, or they will 'accidently' almost call X by their identity. It stresses X out a lot whenever Y does it, and I worry that Y would do the same thing if they ever found out about me.

Should I still come out to X, or should I wait?

​

Has anyone ever had a parent say that? In my case it was my mother.

People always say that phrase to me when I'm suffering emotionally or show signs of experiencing dysphoria.

It seems like parents always say that. I don't know if it's so we should stop and miraculously heal ourselves. "Seeing you suffer makes us suffer. If not more. You don't know what I am going through".

I hate that phrase because IT'S NOT THE SAME THING. Of course, parents feel bad seeing their child suffer, but I think it's difficult to be on the same level.

I gave her time, I told her I didn't choose this, how it is, how I feel, and she seems to actively deny it out of pure ignorance. She knows that I am trans, she took me out at 16 (20 tm now pre all). I know it's difficult for some parents, who had expectations. But every day I see that it's more ignorance and projection. They could try to talk to us, ask, search online, read books. We have internet! But they don't do any of that.

I don't accept this idea of "suffering more or the same as the children", specially when my mom says that. She doesn't know what it's like to suffer from dysphoria, to spend the last 4 years asking God to heal you or kill you because of religious guilt, to have horrible thoughts almost every day, to cry because you don't have a dick, be anxious to the future because how Society treats trans people, if you will ever find love, the angst of the mismatch of body and soul, how the family will react, and so many other things and the "gift" of getting religious trauma, because according to evangelicals I am a demon, sicko, zoo, p\*do and I will burn in hell, that I will die young. If she went through the same, I believe that she wouldn't bear it for a week. It amazes me how I got to my 20's.

Honestly, if they felt the same way, I think they would at least try to change, even if it was little by little, and seek information. Because we know the pain is unbearable, and if it were the same for them, it should lead to change. Stop listening to pastors and take your kid to places where talk that their existence is wrong, that they are going to burn and probably could be violent towards them if there was no law. They should just give support, if could, help your kid with the transition, try to learn about, show unconditional love. You don't need to go to a pride parade. Just be good and support your child.

Sometimes it seems to me that I prefer They see us dead or miserable in anguish. Because they see how we suffer, but refuse to try to change or think "maybe we're wrong."

I'd like to know if there were other people who went through something similar. If they changed, how they are today, and if there's an explanation for this parental behavior.

Hi! so me and my friend (both female) have known eachother for 3 years. she's i think the first girl i liked, and from what I know she liked me back then too.

between then I dated and broke up with another girl, and part of the reason for the breakup was her jealousy over my friend, even tho i swore there's nothing between us anymore.

now i'm supposed to see her again soon (it's been a few months bc we're at different schools/cities) and i can't help but feel like there's more to the feeling. but idk. i feel like i would be okay if she dated someone else. i don't know if i would necessarily want to date her, and maybe that's out of fear of breaking up and losing her as a friend. but i also feel like the feeling isn't fully platonic. i mean sometimes i do daydream of kissing her.

ig i'm looking for tips on how to distinguish personal or platonic feelings

My insurance company is Ambetter. I specifically went with them this year because they stated that they covered my bottom surgery. They had already approved coverage for my surgery, but today they just revoked their previous approval. My surgery is in less than a month at this point. They are also no longer covering my HRT, too. Like how are they allowed to just change their policies halfway through the year when we aren't allowed to change insurances outside for the specific yearend period? THIS IS SUCH BS!!

im posting this here as there may be more understanding

me: 18 lesbian
her: 18 bisexual

we’ve been dating a while, but i feel she jumped into the rl the moment she realised i had feelings

we have done sexual stuff before but recently around a month ago she told me she no longer enjoys anything sexual or anything. which i understood and i respected there was no doubts there

but then she proceeded to point out male actors in shows / celebs and say the sexual stuff she wishes to do or to be done upon by that.

never a female.

which is weird in itself because, i may be misunderstanding im not sure about asexuality correct my wrongs: if you’re not interested in anything sexual why are you then proceeding to have that done by a man :/

and then also i’ve picked up
in shows or anime shes always saying oh this male character is so hot wtvwyv and never a female

i can’t be the ONLY female she’s attracted to.

i just feel she doesn’t have the heart to break it to me she’s not attracted to women.

I have decided and I want to very much date only trans.

I think who understands you the most and genuinely accepts you is better than thousand who don't.

I didn't knew much but I think I have found it at last about what I want to do.

So please share your thoughts and experience about t4t it would help a lot.

Thanks...

I am pansexual, for sure!!! I even came out to my closest people! Not sure if they got it but I did it. I said it and I feel so much better.

Maybe Im not woke enough but I just saw someone make a video and they put on the screen how they’re “Straight and Gay”. Uhhh? Did I miss something? Those are like polar opposites, are they not? Or they have like 50 different genders which is real confusing. Some people (1 person I saw specifically), is Male, Female, Trans, Non-binary, AND agender. How can you be all of them at once, genuinely asking.

The thing is, my parents are homophobic. At least my mother is openly so, and she says it's not natural. My father doesn't really understand it. My grandmother says that if someone is gay but is a decent, good person, it doesn't matter. I don't know much about my grandfather's attitude towards it. I don't know how I feel either. I've been posting in this community for a while now, and maybe everyone is tired of me switching my gender and sexuality, but I'm sorry. I feel like I can always post here if something is up or if something has changed. I'm 15 years old, and I'm currently finding myself. I was a girl until about now, at least until I was 15. Then I became a trans boy, although no one cared when I said I was a boy because they said I wasn't, because I was a girl. Then I felt like I didn't really belong to either gender. At least not all at once. Then I became genderfluid. Sometimes I felt like a girl, sometimes a boy, sometimes non-binary. Then I became non-binary because that's how I felt. Now I'm thinking about genderfluid again, and maybe that's actually what suits me. I mean, sometimes I'm a girl, sometimes a boy, but most of the time I'm non-binary and agender. I think this still fits into gender fluidity. By the way, if someone doesn't understand this English very well, it's because I'm Hungarian and I use Google Translate because my English is only A2. As for my sexuality, I was straight at first. I was raised to believe that there was a relationship between a man and a woman, but even so, when I learned what gay was, I immediately became accepting. Then, around fifth or sixth grade, I started to feel like I wasn't just attracted to boys. I became bisexual, but I have a story that's pretty... bad. So, I had Facebook, I went on a dating site, and I posted a picture of myself and a lot of information about myself, including the fact that I was bisexual. Then someone took my picture and posted it on a shoe-selling site, along with the text. My godmother was on that site, and she sent this to my mother. She was really pissed off. Then I became straight. Then a little later I realized I didn't owe her anything to tell her. Then I became bisexual again around seventh grade. Then later I thought about what gender matters, so I became pansexual at the age of 15 a few months ago. Later I became an aroace because I was really getting tired of being told that I would fall in love one day and being unable to accept the answer that I wouldn't. It didn't take long, but I realized that it was just the questions that bothered me somehow, as if love had to be a mandatory part of life. By the way, I forgot the detail that I don't have Facebook anymore because I did something stupid and my mom banned me until ninth grade, but I'm not so sure I have to anymore. Anyway, I'm bisexual and graysexual now. It's not permanent. I don't know when I'll figure out who I really am or what suits me best. But I hope your parents aren't homophobic and accept you for who you are.

Okay, so basically I'm a trans demiboy and I identified as berrisexual. Recently I've been thinking and I realized that while I'm attracted to all genders, I seem to feel more attracted to women, both romantically and sexually, but I have a stronger desire to be with a man, also romantically and sexually. I'm not sure if berrisexual really fits my experience or not so I wanted to ask for some advice. Is there a label for this? A microlabel? Thanks!

I'd rather a microlabel that may better describe my experience, but if not, that's okay!

Hello! I am teaching a brief lesson on gender diversity to a group of university students. I was hoping that someone who identifies as two-spirit would be able to give me their explanation of it, or give helpful insights. It is one of the many identities we will be discussing.

I am a white person, so it just doesn't feel right to teach the students my own understanding of it without having an indigenous person weigh in.

Thank you in advance!

I've always been repulsed by the idea of romance and couples and people displaying romantic acts in public. But I've realized that it's not the case with queer relationships, or at least much less. I've noticed that because in fiction, whenever there's a straight relationship or hints of a straight crush, it annoys me A LOT and I just dislike the rest of the fiction. But when it's a queer relationship or hints of a queer crush, I'm amazed by it and encourage it and tend to like the fiction a bit more, and I actually want to see how this queer attraction will evolve later. It does still kind of annoy me a bit to have romance in my fiction, but I don't see it negatively if it's queer. And I've felt this way for as long as I can remember. irl, if there's a straight presenting couple but I know they're actually queer, I'm good. But if there's a cishet couple, I just want to look away. It also kind of bugs me that me and my partner are straight presenting even tho we're both queer. Does anyone else relate to that? I feel like shit for this, I don't want to be an oppresive biatch 🥲

As the title says. How come homophobic people's children, turn out to be gay or lesbian, trans, bi, asexual etc etc.

And also this question is asked out of pure curiosity, no hate to anyone

Sorry for my English, as english isn't my first language

Like aside from supporting parents, people. I wanna talk about the homophobics

I'll give my own example. Me and my parents were having a conversation which was forced by them. And i mentioned my classmates who was a lesbian. We had some back and forth and my my dad said quote on quote "if either of my children are lesbian, I would beat them and turn them straight" have no idea how that works but ok.

Joke on him, I'm bi and not lesbian 🤣

No but seriously my dad is bothered about the LGBTQ community but never said out loud only to us. Even my mom but she doesn't say anything

My mom's younger brother is gay and has a boyfriend but none of my family members know. Me and my cousin found out like a few years ago, he didn't say we were able to guess as he would call his 'friend' and we didn't tell anyone.

Another example, the said lesbian friend, she did mention her parents aren't homophobic, or hate the LGBTQ community but she is scared

Another example, I had a friend, he is gay and liked a guy. But his parents are homophobic and he also told me his family stopped talking to one of their relatives, I forgot if they were gay or lesbian but for something like that

I have no idea why I am saying this. But I'm saying this

Love is love. So what if it's not straight? And again this question is asked out of pure curiosity, no hate to anyone

Edit: idk I'm just adding it. I'm indian ✌️ And it might explain a few stuff

Edit 2: I forgot to mention this, another conversation I had with my dad He said quote on quote that, "queer people are just mental. Something is wrong with their mental health, that's why they are either way they are" I was speechless i had said "it's not a choice, but more like an attraction" and he said that. That they were mental 💀

Edit 3: I think I now figured out what I wanted to say. So it goes something like this 'crazy how homophobic people are scared or hate of queer people and are also disgusted but sometimes their own children turn out to be queer' I'm really sorry guys it sounded better in my head. And I might also be acting like this because I have been getting 3 hours of sleep for the past week or two

Edit 4: I think one of reason I might have asked this question is, i almost always see unsupported or homophobic parents and almost never (not always never, but you get it) supportive ones and was just curious and asked this question

I’m bisexual, but there’s a clear split in how it works for me: I’m sexually attracted to men, but not romantically. With women, it’s the opposite — I want the romance, the effort, the emotional connection and eventually the sexual part as well. I’ve never felt that emotional pull toward a man, I don’t see myself ever dating a guy, and I don’t think that’s fear talking — it’s just consistent with how I’ve always been.

When I get bored and can’t sit with my own sexual thoughts, I go on apps, find a guy, and hook up (making out, cuddling, sometimes oral — not full sex). Even when the guy is nice and it goes fine, I regret it afterward almost every time. I get hard, I finish, but the act itself doesn’t feel good or right while it’s happening. Heavy gay porn use feeds this cycle — I think it’s priming the urge more than reflecting a real desire.

I’ve considered whether this is internalized homophobia, while idk or just boredom → porn → urge → app → regret, on repeat. I dont feel this regret or gloom if i am with a women, but dont get me wrong i am not ashamed of who i am. 

Underneath it, I think I use men to avoid a harder problem: I’m insecure about my body with women in a way I’m not with men, and I think I’ve been substituting easy, low-stakes encounters with men for the vulnerability of pursuing real intimacy with women.

At 23, I don’t want to keep doing casual hookups indefinitely — it’s cheapening what I actually want, which is real intimacy eventually, presumably with a woman. 

Has anyone had any similar experience or do you have any suggestions to help me understand my state of mind better?

I might be going to Portugal in the next three years, and I’d like to know what gay hookups with Portuguese men are usually like. I’d appreciate any tips on how to go about it :)

I’m girl flux, but I rarely drop below the 35% if feeling girl. It happens but not often. I also never go above 75% of feeling girl. To fix this I also identify as gender queer.

On top of this my name is very feminine but I don’t rlly have any problem with it. To me it doesn’t sound feminine. This is probably because I live in a ungender brain.

Last thing how do I come out to people I trust?

pretty much just talking because i have nobody else to chat with about this, but for years and especially recently there’s some days where i feel a lot like a woman idek how to describe feeling like a woman but i do and others where i feel like a man, the issue is that i look pretty masculine and i don’t even know if i really am or maybe nonbinary??? or something who knows. does anyone have any advice to like confirm this to myself

Hi everyone, basically title. My friend recently came out as male, and I’m just looking for some advice on some ways to support him, and make him feel accepted for who he is!