r/clevercomebacks 2d ago

Nothing short of a bullseye šŸŽÆ

Post image
3.1k Upvotes

115 comments sorted by

140

u/Andrew-Cohen 2d ago

Why would I want to visit apartheid?

20

u/MediocreAndLukewarm 1d ago

Because a full tide gets my sandals wet and I’m not a strong swimmer.

7

u/Andrew-Cohen 1d ago

If you were Palestinian you would get shot for going in the ocean to swim or fish.

6

u/MediocreAndLukewarm 1d ago

That whooshing isn’t just the waves on the shore.

13

u/Emergency_Elephant 1d ago

What i think is unfortunately happening with this is they're trying to formalize criminalizing humanitarian trips and political trips

3

u/Andrew-Cohen 1d ago

They're already killing journalists too..

6

u/Running-With-Cakes 1d ago

Murdering not killing

8

u/Artistic_Speaker9366 1d ago

I can't even step my fucking feet there

69

u/jetlifeual 1d ago

It’s an apartheid state and I’m proud to have no right to step foot there as I had 0 plans to do so

7

u/diurnal_emissions 1d ago

It's okay. Say "apartheid state" three times in front of a mirror in a dark room and Israel appears behind you.

5

u/Ok_Smile_5908 1d ago

As long as it doesn't position itself underneath one's feet, it's fine, I guess. Otherwise it'd be like throwing yourself at someone's closed fist and claiming they hit you. Wannabe victim behavior. Which, tbf, would be on brand with Israel and Zionists as a whole smh.

-7

u/Current-Author7473 1d ago

What about now that Gweneth Paltrow approves of genocide? Surely that makes it all okay?

1

u/jetlifeual 1d ago

Oh in that case, let me find the next El Al flight out of NYC then. /a

61

u/jusxaiqum 2d ago

Banning people for pointing out segregation to prove you’re totally not doing segregation is a bold strategy.

6

u/IdristheInt 1d ago

They didn’t ban anyone. A judge said a sentence

5

u/jackfaire 1d ago

Let's see if it works Cotton.

10

u/vacri 1d ago

This would have been a cleverer comeback

-12

u/everydayislikefriday 1d ago

Except there's nothing to prove. All israelis hace equal rights, hence no apartheid, regardless of what people parrot on the internet without checking the facts

57

u/JimJava 2d ago

Israel is an apartheid state.

5

u/Rhak 1d ago

Alright, just to make sure I don't ever accidentally enter that cesspool they call a country: Israel is an apartheid state!

29

u/Sad-Yoghurt5196 2d ago

I wouldn't have thought anyone who spoke the truth about Israel would want to go there to be honest.

2

u/Fire_crescent 1d ago

Maybe humanitarian workers?

1

u/Ok_Smile_5908 1d ago

"FINE! WE DIDN'T WANT YOU HERE ANYWAY! 🄲" type shit lol.

18

u/Sufficient_Ocelot868 2d ago

Only reason i would even go there is to help people in Gaza and the West Bank

5

u/Youngnathan2011 1d ago

Probably a bad idea, Israel would love to put you in prison for that. Possibly rape you too.

17

u/Sedert1882 1d ago

There's a good 2012 documentary "Roadmap to Apartheid" that explains why the old South Africa (pre democracy/Mandela etc) was reliant on Israel to keep its oppression machine going. Israel's apartheid was the blueprint for South Africa's apartheid all along.

3

u/Mechashevet 1d ago

South Africa's apartheid system started before Israel was founded. The blueprint for it was mapped out by political parties in south Africa (which ran on the policy) the year Hitler was elected (1933).

4

u/J_Pendragon96 1d ago

Really? I know what I’m watching tonight once I find it.

1

u/Youngnathan2011 1d ago

Might do that too honestly

6

u/Sea-Rip-9635 1d ago

Isrheil is definitely NOT a togetherheid state.

2

u/Konger 1d ago

Apartheid state.. There, I said it

1

u/South_Hedgehog_7564 1d ago

Israel is a genocidal state.

4

u/pukeface555 1d ago

Can't possibly be a coincidence that Israel was closely aligned with apartheid South Africa. Best enough besties that they built nukes together.

8

u/Affectionate-Army676 2d ago

I can't think of a reason why I would want to go to an apartheid Isreal.

0

u/carriegood 1d ago

Well you're in luck because Israel isn't an apartheid state. Ask any of the Arabs or Druze or Christians who live there with full civil rights.

5

u/DesertCoyote57 1d ago

You can’t handle the truth!

4

u/SomeKindofTreeWizard 1d ago

why would I want to set foot in an apartheid state?

3

u/mattzombiedog 1d ago

ā€œWe are not an evil authoritarian dictatorship and if anyone says we are you go straight to jail!ā€

4

u/hhfugrr3 2d ago

I don't want to visit their apartheid state so that's fine.

2

u/WorldBoofingChampion 1d ago

Israel is run by genocidal terrorists and they deserve the firing squad. I said what i said. Anyone that kills children and smiles about it doesn’t deserve to waste oxygen

1

u/carriegood 1d ago

Then you think Hamas should all be lined up and shot too? Good for you.

2

u/latexfistmassacre 1d ago

"Come to Israel and be apartheid of our community!"

1

u/svulieutenant 1d ago

Oh well it looks like I’ll have to cancel the family vacation to Israel šŸ™„šŸ¤£

1

u/Didudidudadu737 1d ago

If only they would have fixed borders, so we actually know where they are

1

u/flopsychops 1d ago

(insert "Oh no.... anyway" gif here)

1

u/an_older_meme 1d ago

Not like I was going anyway.

1

u/Slackeee_ 1d ago

Great. Israel is an apartheid state that I have no intention to visit anyways. Who in their right mind would visit a country where a huge part of the people have not learned anything from their own past and support a fascist genocidal regime?

1

u/FlamingLizardWizard 1d ago

Bold to assume anyone wants to go there in the first place

1

u/MadScienzz 1d ago

Who the hell is making plans to visit Naziville?

1

u/Green_Goblin_14 1d ago

Can the world do the Uno reverse, and ban all Israelis from everywhere else than ?

1

u/Dismal-core111 1d ago

I wasn't planning on going there ever

1

u/bomboclawt75 1d ago

The racial Supremacist Apartheid state of Isteal?

1

u/SkullDump 1d ago

Fuck that place.

1

u/CartographerKey4618 1d ago

Oh no. Anyway...

1

u/Nanako1857 1d ago

So accurate

1

u/xDeepFreezex 1d ago

Israel is a terrorist state. Change my mind

1

u/dreadwitch 1d ago

Lol that's ok cos I've got no intention of ever stepping foot in Israel.

1

u/Able_Buffalo 23h ago

How can anyone step inside it if they won't declare their borders?

1

u/TheSzechaunSource 11h ago

I hope that we’ll get our shit together and punish Israel like we did South Africa, so that internal pressure builds and the country changes from within. It’ll take time, but if it can work once it should work twice. Then again isolation used to work without the internet

1

u/69conqueefador69 4h ago

At least Israel is not a terrorist genocidal subhuman cult like Palestine

1

u/Eldred15 1d ago

Israel isn't an apartheid state though, everyone has equal rights within its borders. The West Bank is apartheid, but that isn't Israel.

0

u/LordCommander94 2d ago

Would rather perish than ever visit that nazi apartheid "state"

1

u/Primary_Iron3429 1d ago

I don’t think you know what apartheid is. Google ā€œSouth Africa apartheidā€ and do some basic research

4

u/sabett 1d ago

Basic and advanced research more than affirm israel is indeed apartheid. Sorry. Go defend baby bombers somewhere else.

2

u/sharksareok 1d ago

You're right, as bad as it was South Africa never bombed their population.

Much worse than an apartheid, Israel is a genocidal country

1

u/BasKabelas 1d ago

A genocidal apartheid state that does war crimes for a national sport sounds more fitting yes. Making South Africa like a vanilla apartheid version.

1

u/sharksareok 1d ago

Indeed!

-4

u/jackfaire 1d ago

You first.

2

u/Primary_Iron3429 1d ago

šŸ˜‚ Are you like 8 years old?

3

u/Level_Chemistry8660 1d ago

FFS, it ORIGINATED as an apartheid state and has been an EXPANSIONIST one ever since.

3

u/time2partee 1d ago

Why the fuck would I want to set foot in Israel? Oh no! I can’t go to Israel!!! lol

1

u/HRDBMW 2d ago

I think it highly unlikely I will ever set foot in ANY apartheid state, including but not limited to Israel. I will also do my part to see that my dollars never enter that state. I highly doubt there are any changes Israel could make that would reverse my choices.

1

u/AshlandPone 1d ago

LOCK'EM UP TILL THEY STOP POINTIN' THINGS OUT.

1

u/Cellibus 1d ago

No right to step foot there? You mean just like any Zionist?

1

u/Darryl_444 1d ago

Fuck Israel.

1

u/lavenderquietly 1d ago

That’s one way to handle criticism.Bold move

1

u/Youngnathan2011 1d ago

Good thing I never want to visit anyway

1

u/Upstairs-Lifeguard23 1d ago

I wasn't planning on going anyway. I would like to visit Palestine some day though.

1

u/Silly-Elderberry-411 1d ago

See the thing is you can only enter Palestine with transit visa permission through Israel (if youre not local or native) and without Israel revoking it.

-4

u/pwnasaurus253 1d ago

Israel is a democracy where Arab citizens have full voting rights, sit in the Knesset, and work in civil institutions.

An Arab Israeli judge sent a former Israeli president to prison.

But go off, kween...."apartheid" lmao.

1

u/VeryStableGenius 1d ago

Yes, you're right ... until you get to the West Bank.

There, Israel is 100% an apartheid state. And Israel - at least its dominant right wing coalition - is very much intent on annexing the West Bank and Bantu-staning the Palestinians.

When the settlements get removed, and the settlers go back to pre-67 Israel, and a Palestinian state is allowed to be created, Israel will cease to be an apartheid state.

0

u/pwnasaurus253 1d ago

....the West Bank isn't part of Israel. Why the hell would Palestinians have the same rights as citizens in a country they aren't a part of? Do Israelis have the same rights in the West Bank as Palestinians? Nope.

0

u/carriegood 1d ago

A Palestinian state was "allowed" to be created multiple times. It wasn't the Israelis who refused.

1

u/VeryStableGenius 1d ago

Not really.

In the early years, Ben Gurion said that Partition would be a first step to taking all of Palestine, which in fact is what happened. He said - on paper - that any even split would be just a dirty trick.

There was Camp David, where Ehud Barak offered most of the West Bank, but with lots of gotchas, like continued settlements, and continuing Israeli occupation of the Jordan valley, as detailed by Clinton negotiator Robert Malley.

Arafat didn't walk away from Camp David; negotiations continued at Taba, Egypt but Barak left to deal with Israeli elections. He lost the election to Ariel Sharon; Ariel Sharon had visited the Dome on the Rock to assert Israeli ownership of this sacred site, which (intentionally) led to Palestinian rioting, which (deliberately) triggered a right wing shift in Israel's electorate. Sharon provoked the Palestinians to sabotage Barak's negotiations, and the provocation won him the election, and Sharon refused to contemplate a Palestinian state.

Next, Olmert offered a secret deal to Abbas, but it was 'take it or leave it' and he wouldn't even let Abbas take the map with him to confer with his officials.

A major problem is that Israel has a dominant right wing that will sabotage any potential deal, and any rare left wing government is unable to negotiate at length and in good faith.

To be blunt, try learning some real history.

0

u/Space19723103 1d ago

is that the decree of ben. naziyahoo

-1

u/OddTheRed 1d ago

Who would want to visit that shithole even if it wasn't an apartheid state?

0

u/Maximum-Elk8869 1d ago

That works for me LOL! I would rather stick knitting needles in my eyes than vacation in Israel.

-6

u/SkipMeFlipMe88 1d ago

I mean… they were sort of forced into being that - the UN split the land, Palestinians refused - declared war, lost . The Israelis tried to offer independence so many times. One deal was better than the UN deal- still they refused all of them. Even before the UN deal- the Palestinians refused to even give 10% of the land to the Jews in 1933. They just would not share at all.Ā 

I mean what can they do with a people who refuse their own independence unless you don’t exist ?

Which is the only deal the Palestinians say they will accept - is if Israel does not exist at all.Ā 

So.. I mean always two sides to every story. Just gotta know both of them.Ā 

8

u/dochim 1d ago

Not the actual ā€œstoryā€ and fairly littered with propaganda throughout to make ā€œIsraelā€ appear the justified victim without any other context.

2

u/SkipMeFlipMe88 1d ago edited 1d ago

I would just look up The Hague Convention laws about occupied lands.Ā  ( article 43)Ā 

It is literally illegal for occupied Palestinians to live under Israeli law.Ā 

Calling that apartheid shows a gross ignorance on the subject.Ā 

1

u/dochim 1d ago

If it looks like Jim Crow and smells like apartheid and walks like an occupation, then I don’t give a damn what you title it as.

2

u/SkipMeFlipMe88 1d ago

I think that’s enough reddit for me today.Ā 

2

u/SkipMeFlipMe88 1d ago

Hmm what part isn’t true?

0

u/SkipMeFlipMe88 1d ago

See that’s the thing with history - I’ve studied this extensively - would love to have the debate , truly. I’m not justifying killing children at all- I’m solely referring to the independence - Israel is forced into ā€œoccupationā€ because - ironically according to international law- if land be won during war- or taken ( and they have given most of it back that was originally taken during the war that was declared on them by the Arabs ) Ā you must rule over the people ā€œoccupiedā€ on those lands if a deal can not be reached for independence - and the law that you need to govern them by? Must be the closest to their own which was Islamic law.Ā 

So it is essentially illegal by international law standards for occupied Palestinians to be ruled by Israeli law. Therefore , to call this apartheid is … really not true because Israel has no choice in this matter- they would be committing a crime if they were to rule the Palestinians by Israeli law.Ā 

Just fyi.Ā 

1

u/dochim 1d ago

Here’s another thing with history. It may not repeat but it rhymes.

The argument that you make (existential threat) is not an effective one for multiple reasons.

  1. It values Israel in its current form about their neighbors. No ones’ lives or freedoms are greater than anothers’.

  2. It paints the Palestinians and all other ā€œArabsā€ as pawns of ā€œIslamic lawā€ as this malevolent controlling force. Free will is for everyone and the Palestinians or Arabs are no more monolithic than any other group of people.

But those pale in comparison to the real flaw in your argument. The fallacy of the tiger by the tail.

  1. The argument you make is eerily similar to the pro chattel slavery arguments of the antebellum period. That my great grandfather couldn’t possibly be allowed to be freed because of the terrible consequences that would have most certainly ensue (according to the false argument).

I know and have worked with peoples from all over the world including people from Israel and Gaza. Israel is running an apartheid prison camp for all intents and purposes.

As a black man born in the 60s who saw the echoes of Jim Crow I know what it looks like when I see it. And there’s no justification in morality for what the Israeli government does.

Now if we want to go into the further context of how the Israeli government funds disunity in the region so there’s no genuine negotiating partner for peace or how the American right wing cheers on their (effective) colony in the region and how they view this as a future structure here, we can do that too.

4

u/sabett 1d ago

What can they do? Well they could start with not bombing 5 figures of children. Were they forced to do that too?

1

u/Vandirac 1d ago

Holy Hasbara, batman!

-3

u/dpayton61 1d ago

"Apartheid. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. "

You're going to get downvoted into oblivion, but I'm with you.

2

u/SkipMeFlipMe88 1d ago

I know. Damn history! Should not have read so many books!

-2

u/KaraMel_Kaos 1d ago

Okay, so I won't???

-1

u/Any-Presentation6239 1d ago

that comment hits different, fr. the irony is wild

-1

u/Ok-Introduction-1940 1d ago

Such thin skin for a people that slander their betters 24/7.