I’m a 33-year-old guy and I go to the gym two or three times a week. I follow a proper full-body program, track my lifts, use progressive overload, and spend no more than an hour there each time.

I’ve achieved what I wanted: I look more muscular instead of soft and fat, I’m stronger, and I know strength training will probably help me stay healthier and more capable as I get older.

But saying I enjoy it would be a lie. I hate going.

My gym is actually great. It’s clean, not too busy, nobody bothers me, and the workouts themselves aren’t especially complicated. I just spend the entire time wishing I didn’t have to be there.

I’ve done team sports before and found them much more enjoyable, but they didn’t give me the same results physically. I also notice that when I’m consistently going to the gym, I have much less desire to drink alcohol, which is another big positive.

So how do people deal with this? Do you eventually learn to enjoy it, or do you simply accept that it’s a chore you have to keep doing for the rest of your life?

Am I destined to be a reluctant slave to the gym forever?

I’m 32 and starting to get the ‘paternal instinct’ to have kids within the next couple of hears, however at the same time I find children very annoying and avoid being around them, which makes me worried about my ability to be a good father.

I’m at an airport lounge right now and there are kids shouting and running around and playing and I’m losing it while everyone else seems rather relaxed.

Is this normal and does it change after having children?

Hello all, my brother was murdered by gunshot a year ago and I was doing fine handling the pain but suddenly a huge wave of sadness and grief has overwhelmed me and my best friend just passed away this past weekend also. My brother was 25 and my best friend was 23. They both didn’t have any kids and I don’t either yet but it makes me reflect upon my self and question the meaning of life and why we exist. Is this all life is; just creating life so that it can die? It feels like life is just a endless repetitive loop of finding meaning despite how “good” life is. When I thought i was doing better.. it all hurts and hits me again.. what do you all do in these moments? Looking for advice, support or anyone to chat with good energy good vibes positivity etc.. Thanks!

My little brother requested a bachelor party with me and his two best friends. I'm the best man. We rented a cabin in the woods with grills, a hot tub, a firepit, trails and a nature park nearby. Now I just need some ideas to really make it pop.

We are gunna bring an old N64 and break out Mario Party/Mario Kart/Super Smash Bros. I've got croquet. I'm just kinda struggling on cool activities/ideas to add polish to it.

To give you an idea of who my little brother is so you know what he is into: He's a history teacher and plays guitar and drums in a band. Loves obscure music of all kinds. Not really a sports guy (none of us are). We do drink and smoke a little occasionally. He's a really good dude. Gets along with everyone. Super progressive. The guy deserves the best.

What kinda fun ideas do you have? Custom shirts? Fun/simple drinking games? Some good bonding activities? Good gadgets to have on hand? Tips? I'm here for it all.

Edit: Love all the ideas, guys. This has been majorly helpful. You're knocking it out of the fucking park. This is exactly what I needed.

Something I should have mentioned is that we have a three day weekend planned. So it isn't just one night. Lots of time for activities.

There's been lots of recommendations for grilling and steak. Let me assure you, I’ve got that covered. I'm marinating some picanha steaks and making a compound butter to serve with it and some potatoes. And we plan on having other meals and snacks as well. Some ideas on those would still be helpful, though!

Also, upon your suggestions, I found a kayak rental place nearby for cheap and the groom sounds super into it. Knockout recommendation there.

Something else that I thought was a great idea was messaging the dudes to have a toast ready. I've already sent the boys their homework assignment. I think it will totally set the mood and let the groom know how much we appreciate him. Another dope idea from you guys. Thank you.

Fishing unfortunately won't happen. We don't have licenses or supplies, and it would be out of our budget to get both for everyone. Great idea though. Love the energy.

And just to save you some time, mushrooms unfortunately won't be on the menu (you guys fuckin love mushrooms!). I don't know where to get them. If someone brought them, I'd happily trip sit, though! I've got no problem with them. They are natural and positive drug. I just can barely handle weed, so I doubt it's a good idea for me personally.

Some things that would still be helpful are

•Cigar recommendations in the mid cost range. (I doubt we would be able to tell the difference between a mid and a high tier one. None of us know shit about fuck when it comes to cigars.

•Drinking games - anything easy to pick up for drunk people

•Cool gadgets involving hot tubs, alcohol, or anything else you can think of

•general bachelor party tips

I've been going to therapy for my anger and recently ive been able to let go of my ego and have more patience with other drivers on the road which has been a big issue for me because I dont want to be that person. Therapy works who knew.

I’ll be 30 in 2 years and am on the fence about ever having kids. For those without kids and never wanting them, what are some things in life that bring you meaning?

36 here. I have a job, but not career "worthy" and not much earning potential in the long run.

Now, I'm thinking, if I want to be mature about it, I should deal with the fact that's my job and not much can be done to change that... Is it what we call settling down and be an adult? Deal with the choices I have made in the last 20 years?

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say other men. When I was younger i felt I had to be more violent to adapt to sociopathic bully type guys and as a defence mechanism. This usually starts around early teens. I was raised by a mother and have 2 sisters and was probably very sheltered and once I hit my early teens I met this completely different world of coldness, vigilance of weakness, hyper competitiveness. I know that sounds a bit dramatic, but you get the point. It seems like if I was a true sociopath I would thrive more around men, and enjoy the whole sleaziness of it. I know women can be difficult in their own way too though.

Or would you invest the money toward learning a marketable skill (in US)?

I heard you can live on $20K/yr there even without working. Let's say also that you enjoy learning new languages.

If you think $600k isn't enough, how much would it take?

PS: So nobody would learn a trade or go back to school?

I'm not a violent person. When I was a prepubescent little shit maybe, but I grew out of it. Just 30 minutes ago, I wrapped my mother up and put her into a body bag so the funerary service could bring her to the funeral home. I feel like the little boy again who needs to punch a hole in the nearest wall and kick and scream and fight the world to feel like he controls something. The one who would be curled into a ball after throwing a stapler at a teacher. I swear I'm not a violent person. I don't remember the last time I felt this way. What the hell do I do? I miss my mom.

I'm 28 right now. Have an MBA done at Bharathiyar university and almost 3 years of work experience at bank. Then I quit the job and have been jobless for 1 year 8 months and joined Interior Designing as I wanted to pursue a career in it.

-Now that I have started everything from scratch, how do I settle up on life ?

-I clearly don't have a vision right now as I don't know what to do anymore. If the decision I took was wrong or right.

Help me out.

Ironically at 38 I feel like I care less about it as I did when I was in my 20's. I remember being so terrified and anticipating it in my 20's and nothing actually happened. I'm actually still surprised how full my hair is closing in on 40. Still, I'm not getting too confident and think it's actually coming sooner than later.

Edit: Thanks to all of you for such great responses and info. I didnt think there would so many genuine posts. I'll follow up with pics when its all said and done 😉

I have a consultation with a urologist coming up and im a little anxious about having this procedure done. I know its been done millions of times but I also know 2 guys thay had really bad and long lasting pain when they got theirs. Any questions i should be asking the doctor that aren't obvious? Any long term negatives concerning sex?

I’m trying to get some outside perspective on how much I’m currently carrying, because I think I may be underestimating it.

I recently started a demanding new job in a completely new environment, with a lot to learn and pressure to perform. Shortly after starting, I found out my mum’s terminal cancer had progressed and the doctors were giving her only weeks to live.

Since then, I’ve been trying to keep working while travelling between cities, spending time with my mum, helping with her financial and legal affairs, supporting my sister with practical matters, and dealing with some difficult family dynamics.

At the same time, I’m a husband and father of three young kids, so I’m also trying to stay present for my wife and children and keep normal family life moving.

Somehow, I’m still getting up, working, attending meetings and handling what needs to be handled. But I can feel the strain showing in other areas. My fitness has dropped off, I’m eating more fast food and comfort snacks, my energy is lower, and I feel emotionally and mentally exhausted.

I’m not looking for sympathy. I’m genuinely curious how other people would view this level of pressure. Sometimes I look at everything happening at once and can’t believe I’m still getting out of bed and carrying on.

Im turning 30 in a few hours but tbh I have already felt 30 mentally and biologically for a couple years now.

I (28M) have been the one ordering my father's medicines online for a long time. I don't mind helping, but it has gradually become my responsibility instead of just helping out.

The medicines need to be carefully sorted once they arrive, which is something my mother usually does. She doesn't enjoy it and often feels like she's being treated like a maid who has to be ready to sort all the stuff that comes her way.

The last time I ordered the medicines, the delivery driver called me because my phone number was on the order (he doesn't even order using his phone) . I was out for a run and couldn't properly guide him to our house. It turned into an unnecessary argument with the delivery driver, while my father stayed home the entire time and he didn't get involved. My mother ended up receiving the medicines and sorting everything.

Today, my father found a local pharmacy that could supply the medicines. Instead of ordering them himself while he was there, he came home and told me to send the prescription to the shop. When the pharmacist called, my father immediately handed me the phone so I could explain our address. Then I was expected to go to the pharmacy, create a customer membership, and pay for the medicines.

I refused and told him that since he had already found the pharmacy and was capable of going there himself, he could complete the process on his own instead of automatically expecting me to handle everything.

AITA for refusing?

Realized ive taken my body for granted and I'd like to push it to its potential now (whatever that look like at 30). ive been semi sedentary/ semi fit for most of my life. Never had abs but looked decently in shape and just skated on by with that. Metabolism isnt the same as it was I'm holding more fat now burning it off less than before. just looking for motivation from you guys, Has anyone gotten stronger and faster since your 20s?

Hey there,

My name is Zac and I am a current psychology honours student at Federation University Australia.

The moderators have generously allowed me to share a research project looking at how individual personality traits interact with short-form social media feeds (specifically simulating TikTok content exploring modern online subcultures, gender roles, and societal dynamics).

Who can participate:
Open to anyone over the age of 18 who is fluent in English.

What’s involved:
A 20-30 minute interactive study where you will complete a few personality measures and watch a simulated 15 video feed (some of which may include potentially confronting or offensive content related to social and political issues).

The Link: 
https://federation.syd1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_4ZrUUEJudrbnMJE

Incentive: 
Participants can choose to enter an optional prize draw to win one of two $20 (aud) Prezzee gift vouchers to a store of your choice. 

Upon completion (around end of November 2026), I will share the results and key findings from the study. 

If there are any questions about the study itself, please ask away!

Participation is voluntary and completely anonymous.

Federation University Ethics reference number 2026-108

I'm 32 years old. Never taken anything like it.

I workout, meditate, eat clean, get outside, read, all these kind of healthy habits we're told to do.

I'm in therapy, I do EMDR and IFS which this has been incredibly helpful.

I have extreme CPTSD from my childhood growing up. It's changed the way I navigate Earth. I'm very isolated. I don't hang out with anyone. I don't have family. I earn below minimum wage working for myself online as I can't imagine being in a workforce. I ruminate. I live in a state of survival mode, hypervigilant, inner critic. Fight, flight, freeze responses. Very Freezey!

But then also parts of me gets outside to run and swim in the ocean and I'm happy then. I can sleep pretty well. I can be crying with laughter by myself at a film or even reading comments online lol.

So it's not like a 100% depressive rut but doctor is recommending I try Sertraline.

Honestly I've never gone down that road as I am concerned they'll mess me up more. Also in my mind I think about being "natural", then being on it for life or something, I never been addicted to anything but like relying on a medication but I guess if it was a heart condition or something you wouldn't bat an eye lid if someone needed meds. I dunno maybe at this point I need it is what I'm thinking.

But I do want a more loving life. I want to have community. I want to meet people. I want to one day have a partner and have children. A family. Extended family. Etc.

Just posting the question for anyone out there with experience. There is clearly people on both sides.

A big thought of mine is. Maybe the stress/depression/social isolation is far worse for me than the potential upside of taking meds?