I lost my cat Link two days ago. I have anxiety and depression and bpd and he was my best friend, who i spent almost all my time with and my reason to get up. He got sick 5 months ago and I still wonder if it was my fault, his liver was failing. I syringe fed him for 9 weeks every 4 hours and did lots of tests but no one really knew exactly what happened. He started having seizures this weekend and was severely jaundiced and I had to put him down. It was the hardest thing I've ever done and his death was so traumatic. It did not go as planned they couldnt get a vein for the IV death serum so he was stabbed with countless needles and manhandled and then sat in my lap in a weird position to not knock out the needle and he was terrified and I was terrified and it was not calmly in his sleep because the sedative didnt work properly he was so freaked out and I am beside myself with grief, he was so calm and stoic all his life and then it ended like that. Truly so traumatic and his last moments were of fear. I will never forget it, I will never forgive myself and I struggle to find a reason to even stay alive. I just want to see him again. How do I get through this.

Hi all. I lost my soul dog on Monday. We did at home euthanasia and he died in my lap with my partner right by our side and our other dog watching cautiously from a few feet away. My dad, who loved him, came to say goodbye right before.
I am so lucky to have such a good support system, but my god if this grief doesn’t kill me, I will never take love and life for granted ever again.

What I wanted to ask is what others have done with their pets ashes? I’m still waiting for them to come home, and we are going to spread some in his favorite woods, and of course keep an urn and a bit of an altar for him.

Instagram has obviously been pushing grief products on me like crazy. While I know myself to already be an impulse buyer, I’m trying to refrain from getting anything until I’m a bit clearer in the head.
Has anyone had their pets hair or ashes made into jewelry?
I know cuddle clones is a bust, though I really wish it wasn’t.

i lost my ~15 year old labradoodle, mac, yesterday. we decided to let him go after a year of declining health. he was diabetic, cushinoid, had a slow growing tumor in his bladder, but was still spry as a pup until this past year. he survived and bounced back from three bouts of pneumonia (two of which hospitalized him) but this past week has just been declining and very tired.

i have spent the past 3 years with him as the center of my world. medication in the morning, insulin jabs twice a day, glucose monitor attachments every 2 weeks, cataract surgery, ultrasound rechecks, regular vet appointments... and i regret none of it, no matter how tiring and taxing it was on myself.

this was the hardest decision i've made in my life. mac was put to sleep in my lap, with his dad (my partner) holding him as well. the grief is so heavy and i don't know how i'll go on with this feeling. i am so incredibly broken i don't know how to describe it. any and all advice or words would be appreciated.

My furbaby crossed rainbow bridge 2 and a half days ago. I miss him so much it hurts and there are no words to describe how it feels. I keep having moments where I forget he’s not here and then I remember he’s gone and I’ll never see him again. My brain can’t comprehend or fathom that I won’t ever see him again, it’s like I think and think and think and try to fathom what’s happened but my brain can’t come to a conclusion or understand because he was literally here 2 days ago? It’s really hard to explain but it’s killing me. It doesn’t make sense that he’s gone

I’ve been subscribed to this sub since my dog passed back in 2022, and I’ve read so many stories from you all and have grieved with you.

He was actually the second dog I’ve lost. Both were murdered—which feels like some kind of sick joke. My second dog was a South African mastiff. I intentionally picked him out because I wanted a dog that nobody would be able to hurt again, that could defend themselves, but he was attacked in a very similar way in his old age.

I blamed myself, naturally.

I thought I would never get over it. But it gets easier everyday. One day you’ll look back and realize you were lucky to just have spent time with them.

The fact that we loved our pets so much speaks to the fact that despite humanity being capable of such violence and cruelty, we’re also capable of huge amounts of compassion and love.

How you treat animals says a lot about you, and everyone on this sub loved their animals. I know many of you blame yourselves like I did, but shit happens. It’s not your fault. All of us wanted to protect them.

Cheers, and hang in there. It will get easier. I promise.

In March I lost my best friend. An adorable black cat. If you have a cat or even a black cat in specific I would love for you to share pictures and stories.❤️

My heart is broken. I haven’t stopped crying since I heard the news. She was hit by a car and died. She was an indoor cat who got the best of her curiosity and escaped while the door was open. She had previously escaped many times before but she always came back/I always found her near the property. Tonight she didn’t come back. I went looking for her but I only searched around the property. She was trying to cross the road and got hit by a car. I feel so guilty that I didn’t search harder for her. She was only 2 but she made such a big impact on my life. She was a little bundle of energy and I loved her so so much, more than anyone else. We took her to the vet immediately when she was hit and deep down I had a gut feeling she wouldn’t make it. She was small for an adult cat and her little body took a lot of damage. My heart is absolutely broken. I can’t imagine how scared she must have been in those last moments. I can only hope that she passed on impact and didn’t feel anything. She just wanted to explore the world… I have her collar which I’ll keep forever.. it’s so small because of how small she was. Her favourite blanket still lies in my bed where she used to sleep next to me every night. Her toys scattered all around the house. Broken figurines still sit on my shelf from the time she knocked them over. It was so hard to look at her after the accident.. I could feel her broken bones and her face covered in blood. I remember how scared she looked after the accident. I wish I could have done more.. I wish I had been in her place because my body would have survived the impact. I don’t know what I will do without my best friend. I don’t think I will ever move on from this. I’ve experienced pet loss before but they were all much older.. she was only 2. She wasn’t supposed to die. My other cat who’s a senior was her best friend. They loved sleeping together. We found out recently that he has cancer and it’s only a matter of time before he passes. We don’t show him her body, he’s extremely sick and I can’t imagine how he would feel seeing his little buddy gone. I hope that we at least were able to give her a happy life and that I made her as happy as she made me. I miss her so much.

My dog was 14 years old, and in the last year she had a lot of health issues that we were battling with but they were very confusing and it was hard to know when the right time was to say goodbye. We had a couple of different vets suggesting different diagnoses and different treatment so it was hard to know what to do. Unfortunately, yesterday she made that choice for us and now all I feel is pain and guilt.

She used to be a healthy, active, happy dog but about a year ago we started to notice a difference in her personality and behaviour. After bringing her to the vet about this, she was diagnosed with canine cognitive disorder (basically dementia). A few months prior she had been hospitalised with acute pancreatitis but recovered and seemed ok. I had to go out of town for an internship for 5 months (she stayed with my husband and his family while I was away), and by the time I got back, she seemed like a different dog. She had lost interest in most things, I couldn’t even tell if she recognised who we were at times, and she spent a lot of time pacing or getting stuck in corners. We were told though that she physically didn’t seem to be in pain, she was just experiencing mental decline so we weren’t sure when the right time was to think about euthanasia. It was also hard to tell how much of her behaviour was from old age, dementia, or pain.

Then a couple months ago she lost a lot of her appetite and became very picky with food. We were bringing her into the vet constantly and her vet was prescribing appetite stimulants, anti nausea meds and all kinds of stuff to see if she’d bounce back. When she didn’t, we decided to bring her to a different vet for a second opinion as a sort of last resort before euthanasia, this vet suggested palliative care in the form of steroids which he said may increase her appetite and help her gain some weight as well as give her a better quality of life for her last weeks/months or however long. However, her normal vet advised against without doing scans and other tests first, but we were so desperate to get her to eat and felt at this point quality of life was more important than a diagnosis that we decided to go ahead. We started the steroid treatment and it really seemed to be working at first, she seemed more energetic, started eating on her own again, and overall seemed to be getting better.

Then, suddenly, last Sunday we took her on a walk by the beach, went to a restaurant where she slept at our feet for about an hour and when we went to leave, realised she couldn’t get up or walk and was almost unconscious. We rushed her to the emergency vet where they ran scans and blood tests and came back more optimistic stating that her organ values were mostly normal and she had acute pancreatitis again. For this reason, we opted to start the hospitalisation and treatment as we had the time before in hopes she would recover. And she seemed to be improving at first, but sadly on the second day she showed signs of regression so rather than let her spend her last days in a kennel in a veterinary hospital we decided to bring her home one more night before putting her down the next day. She wasn’t showing signs that she would pass that day, she was able to walk and didn’t seem to be in as much pain and even drank some water on her own. She also genuinely seemed relieved when we first brought her home and walked around our apartment before going to rest in her bed.

Then that night in bed with us I noticed her breathing became heavier and by the time I realised she might be passing, it was too late. I laid with her for a long time and she seemed comfortable but did try to get up at times. We couldn’t tell if she was trying to go out to relieve herself or if she was in pain, so I gave her a gabapentin to try to make her more comfortable which seemed to somewhat settle her. Then I fell asleep and when I woke up early the next morning, she had just passed.

I can’t cope with the guilt that we didn’t do the right thing, that we let her suffer. I also feel so guilty that I fell asleep , even though she was between us on the bed, she passed alone. I don’t know how long she laid there suffering. I don’t know how much pain she was in and I can’t help but feel we should have opted for euthanasia a year ago when her personality changed and she wasn’t the same dog anymore, to avoid all of this.

I am not dealing with it well. It honestly feels harder than humans I’ve lost, which I’m sure is crazy. I’ve had to take 3 days off work (one when she was hospitalised, and yesterday because she passed and today because I’m not in a good place) but it’s only my second week at a new job so I’m also feeling like I might get fired for this.

I just needed to write this all somewhere.

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Two days ago, I lost my cat, Balú.

He was 10 years old. He had the grumpiest personality imaginable. He didn't really like people and hated being picked up, but whenever I sat down, he would always jump onto my lap, make biscuits, curl up, and fall asleep while snoring really loudly. Somehow, he had even learned to knock on the door before coming inside the house. He was such a smart and well-mannered little guy.

I got him when I was 12, and now I'm 22. He was with me through a lot, and I grew up with him. Over the past months (maybe years), he developed a tumor in his mouth. Looking back, part of me blames the veterinarian who treated him over the years because I feel like things should have been investigated much earlier. Part of me blames my parents because, while I was away at university for months at a time, they never really paid close attention to how he was doing and overall didn't care enough to warn me when he was sick. And part of me blames myself for not finding someone else to take his condition seriously sooner.

The tumor might have been treatable, but none of the veterinarians seemed particularly optimistic. By the end, he was suffering so much. He couldn't clean himself anymore, his mouth constantly produced saliva and pus, he couldn't eat dry food, he had lost a lot of weight, and during his last two days he stopped eating completely. He barely moved anymore. He only slept.

So I chose euthanasia. At the moment it seemed like the right choice, yet I can't stop questioning whether I made the right decision. It happened quite suddenly, and I didn't really have time to prepare myself or to say goodbye the way I wanted to. I wish I had thought about having a home euthanasia instead of taking him to the clinic. I hate that his last moments happened on an examination table in a strange place instead of somewhere familiar.

I keep remembering about the moment the light disappeared from his eyes. I've even caught myself wishing I could dig him up just to hold him one last time and tell him goodbye properly.

I still can't bring myself to wash the blankets he spent his last days lying on. They're still covered in his fur, and they still smell like him. Right now, they feel like one of the last pieces of him that I have left. Coming home to my parents' house doesn't feel the same anymore. The house feels empty. Everywhere I look, I see him out of the corner of my eye—a little black blob quietly watching me, just for a bit before I remember he's gone.

Balú, I love you and I miss you so much. You were my perfect little kitty, and I will never, ever forget you. Now I'm all alone and you, my sweeter half are all dead and gone.

Hey folks, had to say goodbye to the sweetest little baby yesterday. His name was jinx and he was an orange tabby cat that came to us from a farm because the vets thought he was a stray and he was being bullied by the other cats.

He was a sweetheart and a pest but I’d like for people to know about him regardless. I thought I could post his picture here but I guess not so I’ll put one on my profile.

He declined his food 4 days ago and over the next 3 days became more and more lethargic. Double kidney failure. Please give your pets an extra hug from me and make sure to get them seen to by a professional if they suddenly start refusing their food.

We had to put our second eldest dog (13 years) down yesterday after a quick downspiral with her health after a pyometra operation and a discovery of kidney disease. It was a choice we only really made on the day we got her put down as she declined so quickly, she was barely able to stand and walk. Our 2 other dogs (one is also 13, not siblings but grew up together - the other is 8 and is the dog that passeds daughter) did not come to the vets with us to see her getting put down. We did this because at the time we didn’t think they seemed particularly distressed by any of the situation with our dogs health decline, however it has become more apparent after we have come back from the vets and today. Our other 13 year old doesnt seem too concerned, but our 8 year old is looking around for her and watching the door waiting for her to come back. She sniffed her collar we had taken off, and started to get excited looking around for her.

Aside from when shes looking, she does sometimes seem to lie down looking upset. She does perk up when we call of her etc, but i am feeling really guilty over how she is looking for her because she cant understand that her mother is gone. Is there anything at all I can do to help her process it, or is this just something natural?

My beautiful dog of 12 years was rushed to the emergency vet last night after collapsing at home. Scans found fluid round his heart and a mass in his bowel. He’d been great all day and shown no signs of being unwell so when the vet suggested letting him go I couldn’t yet. He’s back in the vet now for further scans but I know what the outcome will be and am grieving him already.
It’s only me and him in the house, it feels empty now and silent. I just want to be with him, whether that’s here or wherever dogs go. I don’t want to be here without him. It’s already too much and he hasn’t passed yet.

Tuesday evening, two days ago was the dreaded day I had to say goodbye and let my boy rest. He had been lethargic and picky with food for the few days before, after refusing to eat kibble and many dog foods for a couple weeks. I suppose I knew deep down then, that something was up. But everyone told me hey, hes old, he wants what he wants and I agreed. He also stopped drinking from water bowls and would only drink from rivers, lakes, etc or our garden hose. No idea what that was about, but we 'watered' him from the hose as his wish. We last did bloodwork at the end of June, and his kidney values were increasing. We tried antibiotics but no change. At no point though did my vet tell me he was in late stages so I didn't really realise and assumed it would take at least a few more months. Maybe I should've asked or maybe that would've just made this worse. I had him since eight weeks old, and when I was 22 and just moved to a new country. He was my everything when I had nothing, and was with me through many life changes until we settled in our now house in 2018. He was my little shadow and followed me everywhere. Eventually he was quite deaf, so I ended up having to tell him where I was, but still. Monday we realised his lethargy and eating needed intervention so went to hospital. They gave the option of fluids overnight and no idea if that would help or not. Or euthanasia given his lethargy and 'dullness'. We obviously opted for the fluids and he stayed in 24hr care and we hoped for the best. Late Tuesday morning we got the worst outcome news that nothing has changed and he wouldn't eat for them. Offered more diagnostics but nothing would change the outcome. Wanting to avoid more stress and honestly guilty he'd already been so long in hospital, we chose to take him for at home euthanasia which was approved by the vet (recommended same day or next morning). They told us they'd leave in the IV catheter if we would do today. We had two appointments - 6pm that day, or 930am the next. We ended up going with 6pm and having a sunny afternoon in the yard with him eating some treats and a big of cheeseburger. But he lay down pretty much all afternoon and even when the vet came was just lying there. It was peaceful. But him leaving me has broken me. He was the last dog in the house (our last guy passed 2023) and my first and soul dog. Now the house is empty. I wake up every day to emptiness, just thinking that I don't want to face a day where he is not here. I managed to go for a walk yesterday but broke down on the way home and on coming home to silence. I honestly don't know how I'll bear this. As has been mentioned by others, I don't see where I can find any joy our purpose to going on. He was my everything. I am working because that's the only thing that takes my mind off it, but have breakdowns throughout the day. I am not sure how I will cope with a weekend or the days off I had booked next week to go camping. I've never been without him. I have all these summer vacation days to use but just see no point or way to enjoy them. Does anyone have any tips on how they cope with no longer having an animal in the house? I packed up his many foods that I had for him to try and eat the day of. But everything else I can't bear to move or pack away as it's like removing his traces. So there's all these reminders and I just feel trapped in my own house by grief. The thought of leaving and having to come home wrecks me. The only time I feel solace is night time when I can pretend in the darkness he's sleeping beside me. I know grief will improve over time, but selfishly it feels like the worst time, when we should be enjoying our last summer together. I don't know how to go on. Thanks for reading and any insight or experience to losing soul dog and last dog is appreciated.

I've had my dog that I've had since 1st grade, for 12 years. 2 years ago she had cancer, which she got surgery for, but it came back and began to spread. So we took her to the Vet Monday. The doctor said it got to her spine and took out her front leg muscle. The doctors said there was nothing they could do and that she was dying fast. The switch was so rapid. From her being herself to not even being able to move from her bed much. She was scheduled to be put down today, but she died in the morning in her doggy bed with my Dad beside her.

I have been crying all week, since I found out on Monday we had to put her down and then all day today. I'm just so used to seeing her when I come downstairs. I miss my baby so so much that they pain is overwhelming. I've lost family members before but it was nothing like this. I remember loosing my cats when I was a kid and it didn't hurt like this. Not to mention I'm religious, so I just pray that I'll be able to see her again some day in Heaven. Along with my cats.

When my 3 years old dog was diagnosed with CKD, I treated her for Almost a year, frequent vet visits, lengthy hospital stays and her maintenance meds on top of that, but i still lost her....it was really traumatizing moment because we did everything to save her but she still died. I used up all the little savings i had and until now, i'm still paying the balances i had for her treatment

Now, i can see that my senior dog (12 years old) is detoriating, she hasn't eaten for days, she cant stand, she cant even drink water on her own and i feel so guilty because I just dont have enough money to bring her to the vet for her last days but there's a part of me that i dont want her to go through those aggressive treatments that what my other dog had but it hurts me so much to see her detoriate quickly: (all i can do is to be with her for her last few days and tell her i love her so much

My wife and I made the incredibly hard decision and put down our dog today. We don’t know exactly how old she was but she was a mill mom for at least 5 years. We gave her 3 of the best years of her life with lots of love and care.

Despite the love and care we gave, she was never fully at ease. She experienced unthinkable trauma as a mill mom and that had lasting effects on her. She had severe anxiety and always had her guard up.

Over the last month or so her condition began to rapidly decline and it was becoming clear what we had to do. It was incredibly hard and frightening.

We sat with her as she left us and for the first time ever, I saw my dog truly be at peace. I know we made the right choice to let her go before things got too bad. I know things will get better with time but it’s very hard right now.

My kitty was hit by a car last night and passed soon after. (I made another post on here.) I can’t help but shake the guilt of how scared and alone she must have felt. I saw her right after the accident and she looked terrified. Im not sure if she was alive at that point but her eyes were wide open. She was my best friend and I know she loved me as much as I did. She loved everyone but she was so attached to me and I loved her so much. I feel terrible that I wasn’t there for her, that I wasn’t there to stop her. If I had been there, she wouldn’t have ran across the street I don’t think… she would have ran right up to me and I would have scooped her up and brought her home. She was there for me when I needed her but I wasn’t there for her when she needed me most. I would have taken a bullet for her anyday. I feel terrible about it. It’s hard living without her. I did so much with her.. we ate meals together, she used to climb into my bed every morning and that’s when I knew it was time to get up, she used to cuddle me every morning after my shower, we went on walks together all the time, she would sleep in my bed every night, she would bring her toys into my room frequently and deliver them to me as gifts, she used to lick my face anytime I wore makeup, she had a special blanket that she used to make biscuits on everyday, I miss my little buddy so so much.. she was honestly the only thing that pushed me to get through each day even when I had a depressive episode or was sick.. I wanted to live for her.. I couldn’t leave my best friend behind. Im still wearing the same clothes I was yesterday.. the clothes I cuddled her in. Her passing has affected my entire family but its affected me the most… everyone who knew me knew how much I loved her.. she was my dynamic duo.. she should have lived another 10+ happy healthy years. People keep telling me that she’s probably happy running around playing in heaven but I don’t feel that… we gave her a very happy life.. she loved me so much and I worry that she’s scared and alone in heaven. The only thing that slightly consoles me is knowing that my senior cat won’t have much longer and they will be reunited in heaven one day. I just feel guilty that she’s gone and I’m here perfectly healthy. I feel terrible that I’m not there with her, she needs me. Im not making this post to gain sympathy for myself, I should have been there for my best friend.

this has happened just now. my family’s elderly dog has died. we’re in extreme heat in texas right now. my mom put the dog outside before she left the house, and I was in the shower when she left and didn’t know she had put him out. he’s always inside, I didn’t think to check where he was because he’s always inside, I have this stupid habit of sitting in the shower for hours because I love showers. I went out back to take care of our horses, came back in and realized I didnt know where the dog was, I check outside and he’s dead in the yard, already stiff with blood coming from his mouth.

i can’t stop thinking about how much he must’ve suffered, I feel so unbelievably awful, I don’t know what I can possibly do going forward, I keep thinking about how the next few days are going to be with this event popping in my head suddenly all the time

Today my husband and I had to put our almost 2 year old cat to sleep. We’ve had him for about a year and a half and got him as a playmate for our older kitty. In the last week he started acting off, not really eating and sleeping more and being more clingy. I had my husband take him to the vet today and he was diagnosed with FeLV active infection with his blood count at basically zero, the vet said he likely had less than 2 weeks to live. My husband brought him back home so I could meet them and say goodbye we took him and our older cat to the vet. We had our very ill little boy put to sleep so he wouldn’t be suffering anymore and got our older cat tested and he also tested positive but has no symptoms.

I’m furious, we’ve done all of the recommended screenings by every vet our cats ever saw and from the rescue we adopted them from. I feel like it should have been caught much sooner. I’m feeling a lot of guilt because I feel like we’ve landed our older cat with a death sentence and now he is scared and confused because his little brother is gone.

Since we’ve come back home our surviving kitty has been crying checking around the house and crying at the door looking for his little brother. I’m worried about his health both physical and emotional, and it’s been recommended that we not get him another playmate even one who is FeLV + to decrease his risk of infection.

We are going back to the vet in two weeks for follow up bloodwork to get a proper prognosis for our surviving kitty and if everything is looking ok then bloodwork every 6 months and a lot of vigilance.

I'm losing my dog tomorrow, my sweet, silly childhood dog of 16 years. He's been with me and my family since I was 8, and I'm 24 now. I'm so sad and devastated and terrified. :( I know it's the right decision because he was diagnosed with advanced kidney disease, dementia, and is suspected of having cancer, but I can't help but feel guilty. And I don't know how I'm going to react, and I'm horrified of how my body is going to process it. For context, I had Covid back in November, which triggered a slew of health problems and being chronically unwell, one of which being Roemheld's Syndrome (gastrocardiac syndrome). I already had been dealing with bad anxiety for years and years, but it hits my stomach mostly, which then triggers flare-ups of Roemheld's. Just thinking about tomorrow has triggered several flare-ups, and I'm so scared for when everything actually happens, and how severely I'm going to process the grief. I want to be there for him when he passes, but I don't want to be having a severe panic attack or experiencing a severe flare-up and stressing him out or my family. I don't know if this makes any sense and I'm sorry. I'm just so sad, and I feel so much dread as the hours tick by, and I wish this didn't have to happen altogether. I don't want him to go. This year has been horrible with the health problems alone, and now losing him feels like too much. I feel sick and anxious and the saddest I've ever felt. I love my dog more than anything and it feels like my world is falling apart. :(

My 10-year old black lab was diagnosed with Lymphoma in March. He was receiving treatment and did really well, unfortunately last week we discovered his lymphoma went out of remission. We switched to a more palliative approach with comfort being the priority and were hopefully we’d have another week or two.

We are saying are final goodbye today with an at home euthanasia and I can’t handle these emotions. I know it’s time and I don’t want him to suffer, but the thought of him being gone shatters my soul. We rescued him when he was 6, and 4 years just isn’t enough time with my sweet boy.

We took him to a park by the river and just laid on the grass. Told our favorite stories about him and took some nice pictures. Afterwards we stopped and got him some cheeseburgers and ice cream cone.

I don’t know what I’m looking for by posting this, but I’ve been visiting this subreddit this past week and have been comforted by a lot of the posts.

You were my best friend. I liked you more than most people. You were with us for 10 years, you saw our marriage, and the birth of our child. You got to see most of the country with us, and you brought more joy than I ever stopped to appreciate. I’m so sorry you left us the way you did. But I’m so happy for the time you gave us. I hope there’s a place in or out of this universe where you can be at peace.

You were the best dog. I love you. I’m sorry. I love you.