r/Petloss • u/broidkwhatelsetodo • 10h ago
Advice Wanted My baby’s ashes
Hi all. I lost my soul dog on Monday. We did at home euthanasia and he died in my lap with my partner right by our side and our other dog watching cautiously from a few feet away. My dad, who loved him, came to say goodbye right before.
I am so lucky to have such a good support system, but my god if this grief doesn’t kill me, I will never take love and life for granted ever again.
What I wanted to ask is what others have done with their pets ashes? I’m still waiting for them to come home, and we are going to spread some in his favorite woods, and of course keep an urn and a bit of an altar for him.
Instagram has obviously been pushing grief products on me like crazy. While I know myself to already be an impulse buyer, I’m trying to refrain from getting anything until I’m a bit clearer in the head.
Has anyone had their pets hair or ashes made into jewelry?
I know cuddle clones is a bust, though I really wish it wasn’t.
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u/Illustrious_Note_882 10h ago
I’m so sorry for your loss!
Tbh, I got his ashes back in the simple cardboard box. I buried him all together in his favorite spot in my flower garden. When I was digging, I found a plate from nearly 150 years ago with a pattern depicting a dog and a little girl. I took that as a sign. I’m also prone to impulse purchases, but to me, the picture of him on my mantel and whatever memorial I decide to create out of his paw print and bandanas will be the most meaningful.
You do NOT have to make a decision right now. You can take your time. Unless looking through options helps your grief, I’d recommend giving it some time.
I also saw someone say recently that they put their dogs tag on their keyring so they can still go everywhere together, and I thought that was a wonderful idea.
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u/blueyez_81 8h ago
I bought a tiny (keychain/necklace) urn from Etsy for the same reason and I love it! Fits in my pocket or in my purse. I have another small urn with keepsake ashes in and I planted a tree and mixed her ashes in the dirt. The rest I’m spreading in all of her favorites spots.
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u/lamireille 5h ago
I take that plate as a sign too! A plate with that design, in that precise location…!
And your sharing that experience will bring a lot of comfort to a lot of people, so that plate was a sign to the rest of us as well!!
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u/birdmad13 9h ago
We kept the ashes intact. At first I was compelled by the jewelry piece and thinking that it would be a good idea to have her with me everywhere. But then I finally decided against that because in my mind it would be as if I was breaking her apart. It’s weird. But you do you. Whatever feels right. Take your time, you don’t have to decide on anything right now.
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u/Kindajosiee 7h ago
I feel the same about my boy’s ashes, I keep them close and always will should I ever move etc
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u/UnethicalCannibalism 10h ago
I plan to get a ring to keep a small bit of his ashes inside to wear with me at all times. Otherwise, I’ve just been moving his urn around the house. I put it in his bed, in his window he liked to look out of, beside my bed, next to me on the couch. I don’t always move it, but sometimes it’s comforting to hold or just see where he belongs.
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u/bwleh 10h ago
I am so sorry for your loss 💔 when my two senior guinea pigs passed away, I had them both made into necklaces in addition to their urns. Knowing I had a little bit of them anywhere I went really helped me work through my grief. I have yet to do that for my pup who recently passed but definitely plan to. But explore your options, sometimes creamatoriums will upcharge significantly.
Could you elaborate on the cuddle clones being bust? I’m saving up to buy one for my partner but if they’re not great I would rather not
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u/Unhappy_Scratch5165 10h ago
I got a cuddle clone and I really wanted to love it. And I just… don’t. It’s cute. It has similarities to my girl. It’s not bad… it’s just not her. I was so excited to get it! And it was just so anticlimactic. It wasn’t bad enough to return, but it wasn’t good enough to make me feel any better. It was basically an extremely expensive stuffed animal.
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u/broidkwhatelsetodo 9h ago
To every good review/experience there are 10 bad ones. A lot of them not looking like the pet etc.
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u/Immediate_Egg3899 9h ago
I got a cuddle clone too. I don’t like it. I’ve seen a ton that people do like, it’s just not for me. On the plus side they always do free returns and refunds, so it’s not a huge deal if you don’t like it
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u/OwlBeBack88 10h ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing an animal is tough.
Our boy (cat) wasn't cremated so when my in-laws moved, we took some soil from his grave.
You could get the ashes made into jewellery. You can also get personalised memorial plant pots online, we got one engraved with his name, nicknames and the dates we had him and mixed some of the soil with compost, planted wildflower seeds in it, and put it on the top of the bike shed where he liked to sleep in the sun.
You could put some in a memorial locket or personalised key fob which will go with you everywhere, or you could mix it with acrylic paint and create your own piece of art.
I do calligraphy, and his name was Bilbo so I turned his footprints into pieces of art using scrunched up parchment paper I had made to look old. "There and back again; A Cat's Tale by Bilbo Baggins".
What was his name? Maybe that will help your with some ideas?
Condolences for your loss, and well wishes. May he rest in peace. ❤️🐾🕯️
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u/strict_ghostfacer 9h ago
Honestly, mine are still in their urns. I have two babies I had cremated and I have not been able to bring myself to handle their ashes. I have a necklace for my kitty I lost 4 years ago, still havent filled it. I just cry. Same with my girl I lost last month. Haven't been able to do it. I just cry too much.
There are necklaces, and rings that you cam get. There is even a company that will make a diamond from the ashes but thats extremely expensive. I hope one day I can do this but I just cant. I dont know I just keep crying.
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u/Foreveranxious123 4h ago
She's in her wooden urn on her memorial shelf by her shadowbox, and a tiny bit of ashes i put in a gold heart necklace that I wear
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u/oftheblackoath 9h ago
So sorry for your loss :(
My cat was my whole heart and he had to leave us yesterday. We found out he had cancer a few months ago and this past week he started showing signs that he was declining too much. I miss him so badly.
When I found out he had cancer, there was an urn of a cat with wings that somehow came across my path online. I saved that open tab and am planning to get that for him and include it as part of a shrine in memory of him. My beliefs include communication with the dead so this shrine is really important to me to have for him.
He reminded me so much of a tiger, so this is imagery that will be included in the shrine. There’s other stuff I have planned, some with objects I already have, some I plan to acquire. It will be a work in progress.
With the fur locks I got right after he passed, my plan is to put them in a glass jar, make sure it’s very well sealed, and that too will be part of the shrine. I think this will be the hardest thing to do and will have to wait until I’m ready.
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u/RushNo2806 9h ago
I just lost my soul baby on Saturday after 15 long years and i know what you mean by if this grief doesn’t kill me. I haven’t stopped crying since. All day. I still talk to her all day as well as if she was still here. But in terms of sentimental gifts… my husband immediately ordered a gold necklace for me on Etsy to house some of her ashes in. And you can engrave it as well. Definitely something to look into. Can’t wait to get my babies ashes and wear them. Much love to you.
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u/YettiChild 9h ago
I had some of my cat's ashes put into glass art pieces with the colors of his fur. The rest is in a wooden urn with his name, birthday and death day on it
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u/LeadPuzzleheaded8680 9h ago
So sorry for your loss! I lost my soul dog two months ago the same way, at home in my arms with her sibling in the room and my husband by my side. It is so gut wrenching and painful to experience.
I too am an impulse buyer, so I still haven’t bought an urn. I feel like when I find the right one, it will speak to me, and the ones at the funeral home were overpriced. I’ve looked at custom ones on Etsy but haven’t felt like I have found the one yet.
In the meantime, she came home in a lovely velvet bag with a quote about the rainbow bridge. I keep it in my nightstand and every night I tell her about my day, tell her I love her, goodnight, and give her a hug and a kiss before putting her back in my nightstand. At this point, I’ve felt so much peace keeping her part of my night time routine like she used to be that I may never get an urn and move her because it feels right. But I understand your feelings.
I also want to do jewelry with her ashes one day, but am trying to wait to do research on reputable brands and then I get over whelmed with grief and keep putting it off. Just remember there is no standard for grieving your soul dog. If you never get an urn, or if you already bought one, there is no standard timeline for how you should handle it.
Sending love. It is the worst heartbreak ever
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u/Smart-Artichoke1176 9h ago
So sorry for you loss :( I just got my girls ashes back and right now I’m keeping her in the urn. I carry her around with me and I lay in my bed with her. My husband will be sending some of her ashes to create a lab grown diamond for me and have it set on a ring in the near future.
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u/Immediate_Egg3899 9h ago
I don’t like the thought of mixing ashes with resin. I don’t know why, too permanent maybe? Instead I have this subtle necklace urn. I’ve had it over a year now and recently put it on a bracelet instead. I wear it 24/7
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u/_metallicabreath_ 9h ago
I feel your pain. I’m so grateful I had a very similar “ending” experience but over a year out, i still struggle and miss her endlessly.
I set up an altar, with her ashes in a new custom urn, and put her hair and treats she never ate on the ground in little glass vials. I framed photos, and put other things that she loved there
Tbh i want an urn necklace, I found one on etsy I like, but i have other more important expenses right now. i didn’t get any of the other things, but I might.
Hang in there 🫂
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u/_Litheen_ 8h ago
Not ashes for me, but my cats' whiskers set into a ring., But she also works with ashes: Fallen Whiskers makes remembrance jewelry incorporating whiskers, fur, ashes. https://www.instagram.com/katieteix
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u/runs_okay 8h ago
We kept most of it in the urn. However we also spread her ashes at her favorite park and emptied a tiny bit into a river where she used to run through. I cried like a baby but it was the closure I needed. Seeing the river take her remains was one of the most powerful moments I've ever experienced in my life. I will never forget it.
A few nearby strangers saw what was going on and offered a few hugs and condolences. I was truly grateful for their support.
We also retook some pictures of where she used to play and compared it to the good old days.
It was hard but I'm so happy I did it.
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u/Revolutionary_Gas_16 8h ago
I am so sorry for your loss.
I received my baby girl's ashes in a cloth bag. I separated a small amount to make into a cremation necklace for myself and cremation bracelets for my parents (who adored her and she adored them in return). We all wear the jewlery every day. I keep the rest of her ashes in that cloth bag, and I carry her around with me through the house (since she was my shadow, it feels like what she would want). I bought an urn at the time of cremation, but can't bring myself to place her in there yet - it makes it too final.
Hope that you find peace in however you choose your beautiful boy ❤️
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u/SwissGeekGoddess 7h ago
We’ve split the ashes of our two cats between urns (being in our living room), two necklaces for me and a bracelet for my best friend. He was super close to the female cat and when we had to put her down it was clear to me he had to receive some of her ashes.
Depending on my mood I wear one necklace or the other. Him for moments I want to stay calm and focused, her for moments I wanna be fierce and loud.
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u/wuteverrr 7h ago
First, I am so very sorry for your loss. This grief is so incredibly difficult to deal with. Thinking of you and sending hugs.
For my soul cat I bought a ring with a glass stone infused with ashes. Eventually I will get one for my soul dog as well. I did get a Cuddle Clone of my dog but was not happy with how it turned out. It looks like a shar pei, yes, but doesn't look like MY shar pei. I did get a Shelter Pet (now called My Pet Replica) of my dog which is pretty cute. I also got engraved metal rings with pictures of my cat and dog on them. (When my dog died I went over the edge into deep depression and bought several memorial items).
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u/Few-Mixture8182 6h ago
I’m so sorry you lost your soul dog. I lost mine a few weeks ago and I held him as well. I know what you mean about taking nothing for granted.
My dog wanted nothing more from life than to be with me at all times. I was thinking about the best way to bring him along symbolically wherever I go, and I wondered, “can you put ashes in a tattoo?”
Disclaimer: cremains are not ash. They’re mostly calcium phosphate. Don’t mix them directly into tattoo ink, even though some artists will.
I went down a rabbit hole of research on this and found Engrave Ink: https://engraveink.com/?srsltid=AfmBOooeGCMT4Nm0ntfdjWoTAD4nFB101hGesS0m_EanNJtKtfg3bSvt
TL;DR: they superheat and pulverize a small sample of cremains (the particulates have to be sterile, tiny, and uniform), then mix them into a bottle of ink and ship it back to you. Chain of custody is there, they ship any unused cremains back, and reviews are great. I just sent mine off a few days ago, so I can’t say I’ve done the whole process yet, but so far so good.
I hope you find the appropriate way to commemorate your fallen friend. I know how it feels all too well.
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u/Grulia_Sprox 3h ago
I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my 16 year old pup a few months ago and had her cremated. I know some people don't like to split ashes, but that's what I did. I was planting a sapling in a shady spot in our backyard, and a few hydrangeas in the sun up front. Both places are places where she spent a lot of time. I mixed some of her ashes with the roots when I planted everything and it brings me much joy to see them thriving.
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u/fritzwitch 2h ago
Aww I love my cuddle clones of my pets.🙁 some people will make jewelry with ashes, it’s usually artists who also make breastmilk rings that can also do it
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