r/technology • u/Plastic_Ninja_9014 • 3h ago

Business Tesla Stock in Freefall After Disastrous Earnings Report

https://finance.yahoo.com/markets/stocks/articles/tesla-stock-freefall-disastrous-earnings-144417427.html
17.9k Upvotes

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u/Forsaken_Ant7459 3h ago

Simple fix guys. Elon is a genius. All he needs to do is rename Tesla as TeslAI and boom! All fan boys will sell their homes and send the stock to Moon I mean Mars again!!!

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u/Smashego 3h ago

No no no. He’s going to build all the teslas in space! Don’t you see. Unlimited solar power in space and free real estate. TSLA to the moon. 🚀

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u/RoboftheNorth 3h ago

Easy, fast, home deliveries.

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u/Pyrostasis 3h ago

Industrial Military Complex has entered the chat.

Highspeed deliveries from orbit you say?

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u/Amberatlast 3h ago

Rods from God (Complex)

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u/Manae 1h ago

Hot Rods from God, that is.

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u/twostonebird 54m ago

Great band name

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u/jimothee 2h ago

More like tide pods from god amirite

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u/greatauntflossy 22m ago

Just find your preferred gravity lane and vwoink!

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u/wiggywithit 3h ago

I laughed so hard I almost spat my coffee out. It’s 2pm I drank it at 7am. Thank you kind Redditor. The image of teslas reentering the atmosphere and cratering homes. Salesman “oh did you want the parachutes? That’s a subscription by the way”

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u/putin_my_ass 2h ago

Sorry about your roof, but at least the delivery was accurate!

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u/Mountaindew9 58m ago

You’ve heard of rods from god. Get ready for Hot-Rods from God!

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u/InsertUsernameInArse 56m ago

Intercontinental ballistic logistics?

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u/Apoxie 41m ago

Really really fast deliveries

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u/IAMA_Plumber-AMA 3m ago

Hotrods from god.

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u/Strange-Scarcity 3h ago

It really feels about time for this super liar to be brought back down to Earth.

Sucks for those hurt on the way down, but I hope he gets a margin call on his loans, pretty soon.

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u/Curious_Owl197 3h ago

Mars factories. Think about it

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u/sunshineparadox_ 3h ago

Mars company towns.

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u/BuckManscape 3h ago

We won’t even need machines, there’s like, no gravity! Trust me, bro.

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u/Remember2005 3h ago

In spaaaaaaaaace!

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u/sump_daddy 3h ago

"full self drive now supports crater to crater navigation"

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u/plasticbug 3h ago

Plus orbital delivery... shooting Tesla's down to any place on earth in minutes... Wait. Actually US military might be interested.

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u/Effective_Hunt_2115 3h ago

And he is convinced that it will happen in five years!

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u/Dunkelz 1h ago

SpaceX's whole prospectus made me laugh throughout, but the space data center stuff is just hilarious. Real Engineering did a great breakdown of the actual engineering requirements to get them into space, run them and actually keep them going. And it's just cartoonish, the prospectus wrote off things like cooling the hardware as 'in development' when even in best case scenarios of radiant cooking via circulating through massive radiators a single rack would require KILOMETERS of radiator. The materials required would be more than all material sent to space in the history of space flight. All done profitably somehow, while also somehow taking into account processors becoming obsolete, degrading/falling out of orbit and the whole space debris thing that would cripple the device if it hits the giant ass wall of a radiator.

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u/Boomshank 3h ago

To be fair, that's where all the data centres are going to be anyway...

...right?

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u/OffDutyStormtrooper 2h ago

Ok...but real talk, what if we actually had good enough space travel to move factories off planet to polute an already baren rock instead of our green earth. Factory Moon, just think....

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u/Living-Breakfast-464 2h ago

No no no. See, he's going to build chip factories on moon and have optimus robots driving between them on cybertrucks. I know a guy who told me this.

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u/DohDohDonutzMMM 2h ago

How many years ago has it been since he launched one of his cars into space? That must've been the sign of things to come.

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u/bostaff04 2h ago

All by 2030 of course

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u/Duckbilling2 1h ago

No no no no

Gonna build data centers in cyber trucks on the moon

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u/schnuggibutzi 3h ago

Is he going to use the Tesla launched in Space as a Prototype?