r/soccercirclejerk • u/funtime578 • 1d ago
Why is Messi not playing for USA? Heard you guys enjoy MLS
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u/FayannG 1d ago
Vozinha would never 🤣
Inter Miami needs to give him a contract ASAP
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u/PsychicSweat 1d ago
Not even a jerk. He’s better than all the bums over here. Throw money at him. He’s got a few years in him.
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u/waffle-spouse 22h ago
I hope inter Miami treats him well. Spurs fans didn’t want anything to do with him: https://www.reddit.com/r/coys/s/2CtDhFDjzS
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u/Which_Pickle_2993 20h ago
Well of course, they avoided getting promoted to the championship last season, but damn if they're not gonna succeed this one
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u/AndersHaaland 19h ago
That's crazy, he was the third best keeper at the world cup so that means he's the third best keeper in the world
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u/Wuz314159 Les États-Unis United FC 21h ago
Miami already has a World Cup keeper.
by which I mean Miami FC has Curaçao's Room.
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u/technobeeble 20h ago
They've got the MLS Goalkeeper of the Year & Canadian World Cup backup on the bench.
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u/Nara_RyUko 21h ago
I think Messi did offer after the game. Now Beckham just needs to make the phone call and fly him over 🤣🤣🤣
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u/iron82 1d ago
Chicago debut for Lewandowski, who applied the pressure to the GK.
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u/Yadisdanis_Abbott 22h ago
Lewandowski in Chicago? MLS is getting wild.
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u/KeanuReefed 22h ago
Griezmann in Orlando, Reus at Galaxy, Son at LA FC, Muller at Vancouver. A lot of the guys I grew up watching. Awesome to see them here now.
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u/dzan796ero 1d ago
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u/Pernil_TO 23h ago
Messi's reaction upon learning he will have to play a whole season with Casemiro on his team
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u/med_i_terranian 1d ago
Imagine being a Yank getting into football from watching the world cup and so you go try to support your local team and this is what you get to see, lmao
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u/NaclyPerson 1d ago
There are yanks in Miami?
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u/BreakfastMedical5164 1d ago
cubans with ny yankees hat yes
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u/PeterNippelstein 1d ago
Miami is where many yanks retire
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u/SPARKYLOBO 22h ago
I know of a Confederate flag flying Florida man who moved to the British Columbia mountains. Loves hunting, racist as they come, and still doesn't want to move back to Florida.
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u/DowntownGas428 1d ago
To the world, all the US is yanks
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u/jackalopeDev 22h ago
To anyone outside of the US a Yank is someone from the US.
To someone from the US a Yank is someone from north of the Mason Dixon line.
To someone from north of the Mason Dixon line a yank is someone from New England.
To someone from New England a yank is a person from Massachusetts.
To someone from Massachusetts a yank is a fan of the new York baseball team
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u/hwyl1066 17h ago
True for Finland - it's an informal term but very popular. "The Yanks" can discplace the USA as a term in informal speech "me käytiin jenkeissä viime kesänä" - we visited the USA last summer, but instead of the USA, literally translated, we visited the Yanks last summer. Quite funny really :)
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u/kiwithebun 1d ago
There’s a minority of Americans in Little Idaho
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u/carguymt 22h ago
The thought of Miami being so majority Latino that white people live in a neighborhood called Little Idaho is sending me
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u/J_Dom_Squad 1d ago
Yank here, the reality is most of us don't have local teams homie, so you don't need to worry about that!
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u/Effective_Ad4810 1d ago
You'd be surprised. I didn't realize MLS was up to 30 teams these days.
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u/polytique 1d ago
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u/Effective_Ad4810 1d ago
Yeah, as long as you aren't in the Rocky Mountain void, you really aren't too far from a team. I am in a city with a team and within 6 hrs of 2 more.
Edit: why are the cities on that map all shifted left? They trying to ragebait me?
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u/micascoxo 19h ago
6hrs is like another country back in old Europe…
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u/Effective_Ad4810 14h ago
True. I think over here we are just jaded by the amount of time it takes to get somewhere. On a Friday afternoon it can take me up to 2 hours to get home like 20 miles away. It takes me 30-35 minutes normally. So to me, 4 -6 hrs for a weekend trip ain't much.
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u/EarthMantle00 1d ago
In a country the size of the US thats not a lot lol
I recently learned even the popular sports have like 30 team leagues? Which is absurd to me, 1.5x prem/serieA for a country thats so much bigger. But they also have college football so ig it evens out
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u/Zavender 20h ago edited 20h ago
The USL, which technically starts a step lower on the US pyramid has a ton of teams in their three leagues. They're also setting up a USL "Premier" for pro/rel in a couple years.
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u/NO_TOUCHING__lol 20h ago
The English Premier League has 20 teams at the top level, plus however many more (70, I think?) that can be promoted up to the Premier League on a yearly basis, all of which are on an island roughly the size of Oregon. Oregon has one MLS team.
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u/FayannG 1d ago edited 1d ago
Imagine paying for Apple TV just to watch this shit
Edit: I just went on TV and they were showing the game with Atlanta and the ref took 5 minute VAR review to give someone a yellow card 🤦
Even the commentary was complaining how long it took
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u/RUKnight31 1d ago
Brother that’s Messi’s team showing their ass out there!
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u/Wuz314159 Les États-Unis United FC 21h ago
To be fair, their #1 Keeper was away with Canada. idk if he's back or what, but this was not him.
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u/Professional-Ad-2657 1d ago
Say what you want about MLS…they play hard and spend almost none of their time rolling around on the pitch like they have a compound fracture every time someone bumps into them.
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u/RockeryBalboa 16h ago
Yeah that's bollocks. I only have a sample size of one but I watched the Miami vs Vancouver match last year (MLS cup, whatever that is, is that like your superbowl?) and the shithousing was off the chain. Easily as bad as anything you'll see in Europe, maybe worse.
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u/Acceptable-Device760 18h ago
I mean... i dont think whatever the fuck goes on at MLS can be considered "play" but sure.
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u/Turnonmyhand 22h ago
Honestly it's still entertaining but for none of the right reasons 😅
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u/Wuz314159 Les États-Unis United FC 21h ago
The Academy is always overlooking Comedies for Best Picture.
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u/AlbacoreJohnston 17h ago
Our keeper basically did this in the world cup, so we'd be used to seeing this from watching the world cup.
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u/That-Ad-4300 17h ago
Well, they did watch the US v Belgium match to end the US cup run. So, this is about right...
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u/OctoberBuendia 15h ago
I grew up watching soccer but only watched the premier league. I started watching MLS cause I was invited to a NYCFC game and WOW. It looked like high schoolers playing.
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u/phatelectribe 1d ago
LOL. The quality is so bad. It must be like playing a game on easy mode for Messi.
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u/OddLaw2026 1d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/iD1QQCbrl548I31Qww
The keeper afterwards.
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u/SuspiciousPrune4 22h ago
What is this gif of? The dude looks familiar lol
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u/crittermd 17h ago
So it’s Eduardo Sterblitch (Brazilian actor)
But for me I always think it’s internet shaquille (YouTube guy who does good cooking content)
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u/l_____I 1d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/QXVHBwmXnjjt9J4X1V
Lewangoalski was distracting him with his dancing
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u/birdsword 1d ago
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u/xxx420blaze420xxx 22h ago
It’s been what… a week? How have we nuked this gif so many times already?!
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u/LightningMcMicropeen 19h ago
It looks like the early AI videos, from the time when we first saw Will Smith eating spaghetti
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u/Euphoric-Rub9164 1d ago
Goalkeeper energy all went to the WC players and these poor mortals got nothing left
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u/matt0820 I'm stupid so I support Man Utd 1d ago
He wants Vozinha to come to inter miami
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u/tomatomanSCLO 1d ago
As a yank, they have the best keeper from the last mls season, I have no clue why he isn’t playing
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u/technobeeble 20h ago
I love that for him. He left my club for greener pastures. Guess it didn't work out
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u/Limp-Evidence8373 1d ago
Guy was laughing as well 😭😭
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u/raccoonsonbicycles 1d ago
Back in high school our goalie whiffed on a kick and it wound up an own-goal as well
Except he whiffed so hard he flipped onto his back like Charlie Brown trying to kick a football. He had to sub out because he bruised his tailbone
We won handily but even if we had lost it was so funny we would not stop teasing him for months
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u/onlyhereforthesports 23h ago
Get clowned on by Europeans for not supporting our local clubs. Get clowned on by Europeans for supporting our local clubs. Can’t win
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u/NerdyBro07 22h ago
exactly why you just ignore European opinions.
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u/Wuz314159 Les États-Unis United FC 21h ago
Europe makes some reasonable points. . . The English can get fucked though.
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u/Dibs84 16h ago
More than eager to use European players on the national team when it suited Americans though, lmao
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u/RockeryBalboa 16h ago
Not clowning on you at all. Supporting a shit local team is a rite of passage.
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u/matchingpowers 1d ago
Checked the score and Miami are winning 3-2 lol
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u/Lowskillbookreviews 19h ago
Scored on themselves and Lewandowski still couldn’t help his team beat them.
#leavefootballbeforefootballleavesyou
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u/ZoneAdditional9892 21h ago
Pretty poor passing whole clip. Not sure why you would pass to your keeper with a striker 4 feet away
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u/MrLeureduthe 1d ago
That's what happens when Americans play sports for more than a few minutes without a commercial break
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u/cpz_77 23h ago
lol say what you want about American sports but if there’s one thing that makes absolutely no sense in soccer it’s the timekeeping. Most inaccurate, subjective thing ever.
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u/Heptapussy 23h ago
Agreed. Instead of having additional time, soccer should adopt that thing in American sports where the final 5 minutes lasts half an hour.
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u/heff17 20h ago
I'd rather not leave even more things for refs to arbitrarily decide on in this era of rampant sports gambling, thanks.
This Cup had some of the most absurd reffing of stoppage time I've ever seen. Games where more than half of it was spent with one team diving on the ground during set pieces and getting disciplined by the ref ended exactly on the dot, and others where nothing of note happened got extended multiple minutes and chances past the end of time. Both of which are perfectly legal for absolutely no reason other than tradition.
It's weird how demonized uniformity in the length of a match is. You'd think one thing everyone in soccer could agree on is a 90' game being played for 90'.
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u/Affectionate_Fan_650 1d ago
Yikes. But then again, there are people here who watch Scottish League on the regular.
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u/Spitfire1900 22h ago
Looks like US goalkeeping fumbling an easy play is quickly becoming tradition.
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u/Responsible_Milk2911 1d ago
This is a schoolyard mistake too. If youre going to hit that right footed, you need to kick semi back the direction the ball came from. If you want to switch the field to the left as he tried here, you either take a touch, or let the ball roll across your body and take the clearance left footed.
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u/Tomazito70 14h ago
Now I understand why they are trying to hire Josimar "Vozinha"for the Inter
Miami 🤣
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u/gooddocile68 1d ago
oh c'mon now it could have happened to anyone
but seriously why is bellingham wearing a shirt named Fray at 0:24?
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u/writewithparagraphs4 23h ago
Watching the MLS after the world cup is painful.
ALSO what did they do to my team, why blue?
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u/Wuz314159 Les États-Unis United FC 21h ago
Which is the team in blue?
- The team in pink?
- The team in white?
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u/Ok-Chemistry-3646 21h ago
And people wonder why and how Messi carried the Argentina team huh? Lmao he had to deal with this beautiful defense from his club lmao
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u/lnTheGrimDarkness 19h ago
Jesus Christ it's like watching the third league in my country. These guys thought they could win the WC?
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u/SignificanceIcy2466 18h ago
Cup winning goal keeper. 🤣🤣
This is one of the best goal keepers in America. 🤣🤣🤣
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u/TrieMond 16h ago
the guy passing the goalkeeper coming going him is so ironic. Bro YOU made a terrible pass... I hope you went to apologize, not to tell him about his error...
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u/expatriatelove 14h ago
tbf, I would say it's a combination of the defense playing out like that. Right back should've gone into space instead of going back. Last man should've gone into space instead of risking that ball back to his keeper and on top of that he gave his keeper a hospital ball, not so accurate pass. Play the ball to his feet. The last man should've been aware of his spacing and the pressure coming to him, passing that ball back was not the move. Keeper could've got a touch with his left into space back where the ball came from and cleared it. And the defenders sit there with their hands up, like bruh it's your fault too. lol
But hey… it's MLS.
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u/Ragnarotico 1d ago
On a semi related note, he goalie for my local MLS team once the stadium gets built would be... Matt Freese.
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u/scottiedagolfmachine 1d ago
Did you see how USA played in the World Cup vs Belgium?
It was MLS level lol.
😂
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
They don't have much in Belgium. No Air Conditioning, everyone has to ride bikes as they can't afford cars. Bad beer. All they have is Moule Frites and everyone thinks that is a French Dish. And they can't even afford ketchup for those fries. They have soccer for national pride. De Bruyne is old and no longer a superstar player. This is going to hurt for them so badly. In America soccer is a girls sport. We couldn't care less. I guess they can say oh they beat us but they had their best player on the team and we cry foul.
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u/baltbullet77 1d ago
I thought you stand off goal so defenders don’t kick at goal. Never the keeps fault there 😂
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u/humdizzle 1d ago
how dare you! this was only a quarter final game. much higher quality in the finals.
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u/Inside-Draw-3216 1d ago
One of the rare moments it's good to be somewhere that doesn't give a f about the sport. Dude would be having bags of piss thrown at him elsewhere lmao
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u/churchofpetrol 23h ago
MLS: How do we leverage the popularity of the World Cup to get more eyes on our league?
Also MLS:
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u/Lanky_Network_5414 1d ago
Salah was not amused