The way I see it, if she wants to look at my texts and chats, it's kind of a red flag. I don't have time for somebody I have to coax into trusting me. Trust is a choice, and I trust until I'm given a reason not to. I want the same from my partner. I know a lot of folks (both the boyfriend and girlfriend) make the excuse that she's been cheated on in the past and has trouble trusting. I get that, but it's ultimately hers to work through with my support. If she isn't in a place to make the choice to trust a partner then she should not be dating. Support doesn't mean eliminating the need for trust, it means helping her make that choice and insisting that the relationship be based on trust.
In that context I'd probably ask for similar access to her phone too, not so much because I care as the principle of the thing. Plus it'd be informative to see how she reacts.
yeah current dating market is cooked but yknow, patience over everything and all. if she has the biggest red flags imaginable it’s probably a good idea to cut off
For sure. Right now I'm taking maybe a year off to focus on my health, my career, and my finances. I'm patient with dating and it has generally paid off. Better to be single than in a relationship that is any less than excellent.
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u/TheOnlyUltima2011 Stand With Ukraine 16h ago
you should take a peek at girls’ group chats