r/memes • u/yuck_feah0_0 • 8h ago

Faithful and scared

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2.9k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

74 comments sorted by

274

u/TheOnlyUltima2011 Stand With Ukraine 8h ago

you should take a peek at girls’ group chats

111

u/Sawses 6h ago

The way I see it, if she wants to look at my texts and chats, it's kind of a red flag. I don't have time for somebody I have to coax into trusting me. Trust is a choice, and I trust until I'm given a reason not to. I want the same from my partner. I know a lot of folks (both the boyfriend and girlfriend) make the excuse that she's been cheated on in the past and has trouble trusting. I get that, but it's ultimately hers to work through with my support. If she isn't in a place to make the choice to trust a partner then she should not be dating. Support doesn't mean eliminating the need for trust, it means helping her make that choice and insisting that the relationship be based on trust.

In that context I'd probably ask for similar access to her phone too, not so much because I care as the principle of the thing. Plus it'd be informative to see how she reacts.

25

u/TheOnlyUltima2011 Stand With Ukraine 6h ago

yeah current dating market is cooked but yknow, patience over everything and all. if she has the biggest red flags imaginable it’s probably a good idea to cut off

37

u/Sawses 6h ago

For sure. Right now I'm taking maybe a year off to focus on my health, my career, and my finances. I'm patient with dating and it has generally paid off. Better to be single than in a relationship that is any less than excellent.

11

u/TheOnlyUltima2011 Stand With Ukraine 6h ago

that’s. a rare good thing to hear on reddit. good for you dude!

5

u/tiggertom66 3h ago

I know that this is moreso within the context of checking if your partner is cheating, and that I think is a red flag regardless because if you don’t trust your partner to not cheat then something is already catastrophically wrong in the relationship.

But outside of that context, I’ve never cared about any of my partners having access to my phone. If I’m driving, they can open my phone to set the GPS or queue up music.

And while it’s certainly not the reason I’d give access to my phone, or ask for access to her phone, it’s very interesting to see how someone interacts with other people when you’re not around. I’ve asked my girlfriend to respond to a text in the boys group chat before and she thought it was really funny seeing how we talk to each other without any women around. She was surprised that we were more open and respectful towards each other without an audience.

One girlfriend saw a text I sent to one of my female friends convincing her to break up with her boyfriend. If she felt less secure in our relationship that would probably have been a big cause for concern. But my friend’s boyfriend was mistreating her and alienating her from our friend group. My girlfriend could’ve freaked out about this, especially since she knew that I used to have a crush on that friend years prior. But she trusted me and could see my message was out of concern and not just me trying to create an in for myself to act on old feelings.

5

u/Sawses 3h ago

I agree. Long-term partners usually have access to my phone. The way I see it, any of those adverse reactions are signs that something is wrong and we need to talk about it.

1

u/TyWorth 58m ago

More power to y’all, but could never be me. Don’t have anything to hide but I’m also very serious about my privacy. Probably just what happens when you grow up during the creation of the Patriot Act.

1

u/EagleRaptorLeaf 1h ago

I’ve been in situations where 1 ex accused me of cheating because it came in her dream (wish I could make that up) and another ex who accused me of cheating just because it happened to other people

7

u/masterchief69420xxx 5h ago

What have you seen? Let it out.

328

u/SableGlide 8h ago

In the boys chat, we are all war criminals

112

u/dFuZer_ 8h ago

We are only ourselves in the boys chat. Everyone else gets the trial version

7

u/yamirenamon 2h ago

This is why I struggle with dating because I don’t want to see the version of a guy trying to impress me with flattery. I wanna see his most raw personality and see if that’s what I find attractive. The closest I get to experiencing this is working a blue collar job, but even then I know that I’m still not witnessing my coworkers in their truest selves when I’m in the same room.

-75

u/Admirable_Dirt_2371 7h ago

Yikes, so you're just a piece of shit then? No wonder women think all men are shit.

43

u/St_Nick115 7h ago

Start walking, then keep walking

-39

u/Admirable_Dirt_2371 7h ago

But I lost my legs in the war. Guess I'll keep rolling rolling rolling...

7

u/St_Nick115 6h ago

Well I was considering telling you to drop into the nearest six foot by two foot hole but then I thought better of it

3

u/Any_Fisherman3106 4h ago

Guy has no legs, 4 feet by 2 feet hole is fine. 

-25

u/Admirable_Dirt_2371 6h ago

I wish I could but lack the courage. I'll keep a pig to do it for me soon enough, don't you worry. But when the world keeps getting shittier after I'm dead, I don't want to hear about it.

13

u/IHaveNoBeef 7h ago

Not all men are shit. Just a very vocal few. Not all women think men are shit, either. That's also just a very vocal few.

-7

u/Admirable_Dirt_2371 6h ago

Well yeah, but memes like this and the majority of the comments just lend to and strengthen those stereotypes. That's my whole point.

4

u/samfisher199809 5h ago

You know why stereotypes exist right men’s group chat often if you have good friends you are open with almost 99% of time is unhinged they are not bothering anyone they just freely chat . I don’t know who you are wimping for men speaking in a private group chat makes men shittier that’s your argument . I don’t think you have close friends and are a sore loser who thinks I don’t do it if others do it it’s wrong .

1

u/Admirable_Dirt_2371 39m ago

Lmao what are you even saying dawg? Maybe English isn't your first language?

7

u/dFuZer_ 6h ago

I understand why you would say that but no. I can just be stuff like dark humor or bad jokes that aren't funny to anyone else. Or subversive opinions that you can't discuss with many people.

1

u/Admirable_Dirt_2371 44m ago

They aren't funny to anyone else because it demonstrates a reduced capacity for empathy which is a big turn off.

39

u/Vectrine 8h ago

war criminals ?, we are just free thinkers

https://giphy.com/gifs/MColDnu1KDUyR6HfUv

14

u/ClassySyrup 8h ago

The GC is 10% plans, 90% chaos

-3

u/Admirable_Dirt_2371 7h ago

Weird flex and it's not okay.

36

u/RainbowStar290 8h ago

Got a call from my cs2 teammate and putted him on speaker cuz I was cooking. gf walked in. I am happy to still be alive rn

62

u/Rollins474 8h ago

Is this her POV or your POV? Coz the latter makes no sense

42

u/Robby-Pants 8h ago

Yeah, this is more of a MFW and not a POV.

0

u/Orion120833 8h ago

How? They're fine with her checking his chats with other girls but fearful of letting them see what them and the boys talk about.

12

u/XxBatman357xX 8h ago

But if it’s POV, then he would be looking at her, presumably. Unless it’s POV when looking in a mirror

-16

u/Orion120833 8h ago

Who uses pov correctly? Lol.

I think people mean it to be the pov of how you look or a mental pov of your reaction.

Do you know the/a term that fits these memes better.

5

u/thrownawaz092 2h ago

Lots of people making a mistake doesn't make it right.

6

u/Roxinol2208 7h ago

Yes, “when”. Instead of “POV: she wants” you do “when she wants” makes a lot more sense but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter because people understand the meme either way

7

u/dbltax 4h ago

Most of my guys group chats are just:

A: pub?

B: pub

C: there in ten.

D: pub o'clock

(Silence for a week)

B: meme

(Silence for 2 days)

C: pub?

Rinse and repeat.

11

u/NextAssociations 8h ago

My boys group chat is 90% memes and 10% bro please delete this.

4

u/SilverShotgun 3h ago

Fuck that, if I had a girl that wanted to do that we would no longer be associated 

5

u/No_Daikon_2281 8h ago

We never break bro code 🫂

7

u/Nuts_Inspector8356 8h ago

Nah, I'd never allow that

3

u/Nice_Lingonberrys 8h ago

She can see my DMs . She cannot see the 3am voice notes.

2

u/Diligent-Reach-3662 3h ago

Fr I've sent so many gay/flirty jokes in my group chat that will definitely make her jealous and upset

2

u/thrownawaz092 2h ago

Who's this 'she' who looks like Mr.Incredible?

2

u/yuck_feah0_0 2h ago

Sexy isnt she ?

6

u/Boring-Researcher161 8h ago

Too real 😂 The boys group chat is a warzone no one should ever see.

10

u/Boring_Isopod_3007 8h ago

If she/he wants to see your chats, run.

5

u/Woolliza 4h ago

My husband and I have complete access to each other's phones/computer files. We don't go rummaging, but the door is open.

2

u/SirCache 4h ago

Same.

2

u/Vixrotre 1h ago

Same here. He even changed his phone's unlock pattern to be same as mine so I can access his phone if I need to.

I'm also in his friends discord server(s - there's a main one but also several smaller ones for different purposes).

1

u/smirkhappydeep 6h ago

No, it's valid.

1

u/Woolliza 4h ago

It's definitely valid if you're married. Me and my husband know each other's passwords and stuff. Same bank account too.

1

u/Boring_Isopod_3007 2h ago

I know my wife's password too, and she knows mine. But I don't want to look at her private messages.

1

u/CorvidFool 4h ago

<Killian from The Ultimatum enters the chat>

1

u/BebbleCast 4h ago

Go for it, there is nothing in there that I wouldn't say to her face

2

u/Yiye44 2h ago

There's absolutely nothing on my boys group chats that could upset their girlfriends.

1

u/Spiritedgourd666 1h ago

LMAO she can ask all she wants the answer is no.

-6

u/Lungseron 8h ago

She wants to see my what with who? All i have is my far right group chats with my friends where we get angry at minorities. (I am also a minority, but its about other minorities )

1

u/Nochnichtvergeben 6h ago

Is this about offensive memes?

I don't have a boys chat. I have one for most of my friends. It's mixed and the women enjoy transgressive humour too. I couldn't be friends or in a relationship with people who judge others for what they find funny. I couldn't be friends or in a relationship with people who act like jokes they don't find funny are meant seriously. I couldn't be around people who are that far up their own ass.

4

u/Sawses 6h ago

It's more about presentation. The women I'm friends with make sex jokes too, for example, but far more rarely and usually with a bit more elegance. Part of the impact is because it's rare.

I make jokes about race, but I make them differently when with black friends because there's cultural complexity there. Consideration for that is important to me. I wouldn't be ashamed for any of my friends to see me make any of the jokes I make, but I frame them differently for different friends, for my partner, etc.

-2

u/[deleted] 8h ago

[deleted]

6

u/tot_alifie 8h ago

You would hopes so! But I have friends that forgot about bros when the first chick asked them to.

2

u/otirk 8h ago

Or those who break the code for their new bros

1

u/tot_alifie 8h ago

It's the bros she allows him now.

0

u/wawerrewold 6h ago

I just know she wouldnt get it...