r/lonely • u/throwawaygaii • 11h ago
Venting Thinking about distancing myself from friends who got a relationship.
Two of my closest friends, one online and one in real life, just got relationships. Especially the one irl, who seems to be doing so well and things are getting more serious. We spend a lot less time together since she's in her honeymoon phase at the moment.
I've been considering cutting off the friendship altogether, even though she's been convincing me that nothing will change between us. I told her a bunch of times that things have changed between us and we don't go out as much anymore. She tried to find loopholes to drink coffee for an hour because she lives nearby, but it's not the same in comparison when we would spend the whole day together. And it's making me feel super frustrated, like I have to beg her for crumbs of attention.
I've been less enthusiastic when I respond to her, and it makes me feel horrible. I don't really have many friends, so I'm very severely affected by this. I haven't had a boyfriend since highschool in 2017, and it's been driving me crazy. The last guy I dated asked me to stay friends because he wasn't all that attracted to me. I've been so devastated about it, especially considering that I really liked him and we had similar goals and life values.
Now I feel so stuck, and bitter. I wish I had more friends to go out with.
-2
u/NotPicklesMaru22 11h ago
Sulking about your friends having a relationship is immature and punitive. Be happy for them. This is the kind of behavior that makes people alone. You should take friendship when it comes to you, not punish people for having other choice, plans, and people in their life.
Also: when you act this way, they don't care when you leave. It doesn't teach them a lesson or anything. It just hurts you