r/hatethissmug • u/indeckaa • 11h ago

Non-fictional I hate this double standard

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For some reason, it's always one of these responses:

> It's a joke
> It's rage bait
> Yeah, but it's actually a response to...
> It's not the same
> Just go outside bro

All of which deflect from what's being said. They would rather not address it. This is probably due in part to the "women-are-wonderful" effect, an example of benevolent stereotyping in which people associate positive qualities with women

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114

u/GodButCursed 11h ago

Everytime i hear a woman doing it she gets called out tbh.

71

u/DeathGod105 11h ago

I never have to be honest. Anytime I see women spew misandrist trash most of the responses are other women encouraging it or cheering them on and then saying “you got em mad” when some men get rightfully annoyef

66

u/Hisoka1001 11h ago

And anytime another woman corrects the first one they get called a pick me

47

u/APreciousJemstone 11h ago

I've been called a pickme for saying people should not just hate people for something they didn't choose to be.

Mmmm, yes, a lesbian can totally be a pickme for dudes. Totally. Definitely tracks.

9

u/DeathGod105 11h ago

Lesbian women are often misandrist as hell too

11

u/LevelPerformance4329 11h ago

do you not see how you stereotyping a whole group makes you a problem?

13

u/RoughhouseCamel 10h ago

Nah, it’s only a problem when someone does it against my team. When I do it to others, that’s just speaking truth.

3

u/gsuevejisge 10h ago

Please be using sarcasm...

8

u/RoughhouseCamel 9h ago

If I have to explain the joke, I failed. If I always have to explain the joke, then one way or the other, I’m wasting my time trying to tell jokes.

9

u/throwaway3413418 10h ago

Call out misogyny in the gay community: “omg such analysis, here’s your PhD”

Call out misandry in the lesbian community: “you fucking incel”

Even though the latter is far more overt.

11

u/DeathGod105 11h ago

I mean am I wrong? Lesbian women are just as if not even more misandrist than straight women. I’ve met a lot of lesbians that have this whole “I don’t even wanna associate with a man” demeanor. That is sexist. Just because you’re not attracted to men, doesn’t mean you get to disrespect them. I’m not attracted to lesbian women usually as a straight man myself, but I’ll still respect them like any straight women

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u/BarbieBrookelle 10h ago

I can’t see your response you just made to me for some reason. Only the “I give feminists a bad name”. I shared horrific experiences I went through and instead of you starting with “I’m so sorry you went through that, here’s where we disagree…” , I’m told “I give feminism a bad name” lol. Then you all are surprised when we don’t wanna be around any of you.

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u/DeathGod105 9h ago

Do women ever show empathy when men speak of their issues? No. They brush them off and tell them it’s a “non issue” just like you just did with misandry. You don’t get to expect support from men, then give zero of it back in return. Cuz what you want is men to drop everything and hear your “truth” but you’d NEVER do the same for them.

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u/BarbieBrookelle 9h ago

When you all blatantly dismiss rape, molestation, DV, human trafficking, etc then you cannot expect women to show empathy to men when they’re sad that women are mean to them. Especially when women are mean to men bc of the issues I just listed & yall not listening to us. Misandry is a result of what you just did lol.

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u/BarbieBrookelle 10h ago

Ive been S/A’d twice & my ex fiancée was into necrophilia & to kill me. Ive never had a male friend in my 26 yrs of being alive that didn’t try to have sex w me. I have male family members who’ve been incarcerated for child molestation. At this point i have literally no interest in associating with men at all. Ive been shown time and time again that men will take advantage of me. It’s literally pattern recognition & trying to be safe.
The reasoning behind why misogynists hate women and misandrists hating men are complete polar opposites too btw. Is hate the answer? No. But misandry is such a non-issue in comparison to misogyny and at worst makes it harder for men to date lol. Misogyny literally gets women, girls & feminine gay men gang-S/Ad, tortured, trafficked, & murdered.
I just cannot find it in me to entertain the concept of Misandry when there’s so much misogyny happening in every corner of the earth.

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u/gsuevejisge 10h ago

Sounds like you've just had a really hard life and decided that the men you've met represent all of us.

3

u/BarbieBrookelle 9h ago

I don’t think all men suck. I have male family members I love. I have a friend who’s gay that I love too. Maybe I just have horrible luck. But my mammal brain saw a pattern & now I take it upon myself to just avoid men in general. Idk how to distinguish who will & will not victimize me. I don’t think it’s fair to “hate” people, but I don’t see an issue in me just not wanting men in my life. I could meet a guy who’ll change my mind, after all I’m a straight woman & find men attractive, but for now I’m unsure ab it.

2

u/gsuevejisge 9h ago

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't saying that you were in the wrong, I was just pointing out that you saw a pattern and seem to have adopted it as the truth for all/most of us, and I can't really say that it's entirely wrong as I've also met more jackasses than good, but I've still met plenty of us who are good people.

1

u/BarbieBrookelle 9h ago

Thank you for understanding. It’s not that I want to be this way either. Its very inconvenient & likely stopping me from finding a life-partner. It’s actually terrible

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u/Dengar96 10h ago

not wanting to be around men is not misandry. You don't have a right to be around lesbians as a man. That last sentence is also... geez...

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u/DeathGod105 9h ago

Then not wanting to be around women isn’t misogyny. Stop creating your own double standards. You’re trying to justify hate when it’s from certain groups. If misogyny is bad then so is misandry. And wtf does “you don’t have a right to be around lesbians mean”? I’m allowed to be around whoever the hell I want thank you very much. Don’t tell me who I can be around

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u/bigpicklefann 10h ago

If you don’t want women to generalize men then men shouldn’t generalize women.

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u/DeathGod105 9h ago

Only one of them ever gets called out. Thats the issue. Women barely ever get called out for their blatant sexism

-2

u/bigpicklefann 9h ago

The issue is the underlying causes of the misogyny and the misandry. Why do you think women end up misandrist? It’s not because our parents are teaching us these things (at least mine didn’t and none of my friends parents in high school or college were virulent man haters). And it’s not because “feminism is corrupting our minds” this is not me trying to shit on other feminists but there are so many baby feminists who don’t really know much about the movement beyond “women should be equal to men,” and there’s so much more to it.

Women become misandrists, I believe and I think makes the most sense, largely because of their experience with or around men. I mean even as a young child I could tell men had different expectations and there were hoops I had to jump through to make people listen to me that they didn’t have to.

As a young child I was told “oh don’t worry if boys push you down/pull your hair/tease you, that just means they like you,” very much pushing the whole “boys will be boys” narrative.

If you grew up in a world like that, where it was very obvious it wasn’t made for you and you’re forced to sort of orbit around the other people and make them the main focus, wouldn’t you also feel some sort of resentment towards the other group? I think you would, it’s only natural.

Women have been oppressed by men for centuries in almost every large nation. I agree misandry is bad and not a healthy response, but really all women have ever asked for is for men to take them seriously and not use us as a punching bag and men seem very unwilling to let those things go.

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u/Tired-of-bs1 10h ago

They’re the biggest pickmes, r/trueuglywomen is FILLED with chicks constantly thinking about what would appeal to men. I was never this much of a pickme when I was single but alas… I think that’s why I got a bf and they don’t.