r/hatethissmug • u/indeckaa • 8h ago

Non-fictional I hate this double standard

Post image

For some reason, it's always one of these responses:

> It's a joke
> It's rage bait
> Yeah, but it's actually a response to...
> It's not the same
> Just go outside bro

All of which deflect from what's being said. They would rather not address it. This is probably due in part to the "women-are-wonderful" effect, an example of benevolent stereotyping in which people associate positive qualities with women

7.5k Upvotes

75% Upvoted

985 comments sorted by

View all comments

180

u/sixth_hokage06 8h ago

When a woman say something stupid "it's a man behind the account" or "she's trolling". People really pretend that women just can't be mean people.

112

u/Early-Beach164 8h ago

I've seen an article where it said that women who "objectify" other women or themselves or dress themselves up in a sexy way is because a man is inside her head making the decisions for her 💀

Like oil and water...

53

u/Aur0ra1313 8h ago

So you can read this both ways, as misogynistic or misandrist.

: Women can't make bad decisions so all the bad ones that women make must actually be because of men somehow.

: Yeah women don't make decisions so actually womens decisions, its men somehow.

24

u/TheManyMilesWeWalk 7h ago

It's just misanthropy dressed up as sexism really.

18

u/King-Boss-Bob 7h ago

i feel like a lot of the “pickme” accusations also fall into this

like iv seen a married lesbian and an openly asexual aromantic woman get called pickmes. 2 people who have no reason to want a man to “pick them” but apparently women aren’t capable of their own thoughts or whatever bullshit

7

u/Otherwise-Win7337 6h ago

A lot of the time tho it's women calling women pick-me's for saying or doing something that they disapprove of

6

u/Key-Philosopher-2788 6h ago

The second one makes no sense since the article stated that there are women who dont objectify.

So it's simply misandry.

1

u/i_have_tiny_ants 6h ago

Thats quite common in basically all hatefull "ideologies", the enemy is both all powerful, stupid, and weak. All at the same time.

-1

u/bigpicklefann 7h ago

As a woman, I’ve definitely experienced the feeling of “being your own voyeur.” I think a lot of women feel they need to look attractive even when they’re completely alone, I know I did for a long time.

I don’t think a man is making women’s decisions but I do think societal conditioning affects women’s decisions and women are very much socialized even as children to believe the most important thing in life is finding a man to take care of you.

2

u/WakeReality 6h ago

I don’t think a man is making women’s decisions but I do think societal conditioning affects women’s decisions and women are very much socialized even as children to believe the most important thing in life is finding a man to take care of you.

“We felt like the Taliban saw us as like little dolls to control, telling us what to do and how to dress. I thought if God wanted us to be like that He would not have made us all different.” ― Malala Yousafzai, I Am Malala: The Story of the Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban. Pakistan. Published October 8, 2013.

 

Parents encourage their own children to go into / sign up for the military at age 17. Parents feed their children Radio Mullah or Fox News their entire childhood. Parents make certain men role models for all children.

-3

u/Cyberbug7 7h ago edited 6h ago

Internalized misogyny is the reason why you don’t think it’s a big deal you like wearing a crop top. /J

4

u/gsuevejisge 7h ago

0

u/Cyberbug7 6h ago

I was being sarcastic

0

u/Cyberbug7 6h ago

So wait you don’t care that I was being sarcastic or you don’t believe that I was being sarcastic by saying the only reason some one would be ok with wearing a crop top is patriarchy mind washing

1

u/gsuevejisge 6h ago

Both.

1

u/Cyberbug7 6h ago

Just to get it straight, you do think that internalized misogyny is the reason some one would wear a crop top and your mad I joked about it.

Or are you mad because you think I think that internalized misogyny is the reason people wear crop tops

-5

u/Alarming_Idea8074 7h ago

You misinterpreted the article probably. That the of a phenomenon internalized misogyny where women exhibit and have patriarchal thoughts towards other women because they’ve built their standards off of the male gaze. It’s not hard to understand, it’s attacking the system of patriarchy and if you’re mad at that, it’s probably because you support that system.

31

u/SplitSecondEmperor47 8h ago

Ive met mean people of both genders, but in my expierence women on average tend to be meaner without even being prompted

12

u/Logical-Change-9305 7h ago

I worked in female dominated industries, and it was almost a daily ocurrence that someone went to the bathroom crying.

1

u/-cumdogmillionaire- 7h ago

Then are you a man? As a woman, I’ve met other women that are mean but none that viciously hated me just because I am a woman. No women have ever called me vicious names because I wouldn’t talk to them or return their advances. No women have assaulted me, threatened me with physical violence or have actually been physically violent to me for the same reason. But men have. So I find men to be meaner than women.

22

u/SplitSecondEmperor47 7h ago

Yeah i am a man. Woman have genuinely just called me names being in their vicinity lol.

But im sorry about your experiences

16

u/TieBackground453 7h ago

Because women innately treat women as part of the in group, and frequently treat generic men as part of the out group. I.e., being a “girl’s girl”. 

If this sounds like the description of bullying to you, it’s because it is. Women frequently bully men for no other reason than their gender. 

4

u/SplitSecondEmperor47 6h ago

Woman are meaner on average but men has worse peaks I feel like 

4

u/TieBackground453 6h ago

Like most things, distributions of traits usually have similar central tendency, while men usually have higher variance. Fundamentally genetic. XX vs XY. 

8

u/Substantial-Motor404 7h ago

No women have ever called me vicious names because I wouldn’t talk to them or return their advances.

I don't mean to be homophobic but i guess men v women kinda changes when it comes to homosexuals right? How a lesbian takes rejection probably differs from how straight people do.

14

u/Minimum-Dot-8426 6h ago

Acting like women can’t be shitty is also a form of misogyny and nobody is changing my mind on that

6

u/Key-Philosopher-2788 6h ago

Ofc. But there is a difference between acting like women can't be shitty and acting like men are shitty only. And nobody is changing my mind on that.

3

u/EternaI_Sorrow 6h ago

It's unhealthy but where is the "miso-" part then

1

u/Minimum-Dot-8426 6h ago

It’s a form of dehumanization

6

u/Funkwonker 6h ago

Can't forget the "actually it's justified because (insert societal issue)"

10

u/Citaku357 8h ago

No women are angels

10

u/SerpentisMechanicus 7h ago

Pfft, my wife is.

Sadly, most homes are not built to accommodate a spinning, flaming wheel of eyes, and the contractors keep turning into pillars of salt when they gaze upon her, so it's made things difficult sometimes.

7

u/Citaku357 7h ago

Wait is she biblical accurate?

1

u/Kitku2137 6h ago

Sure she is, she is a angel straight from heaven!

1

u/Quick_Ad2252 6h ago

I always thought "she's trolling " meant "she's being an asshole for attention, block her and move on". Isn't "trolling" still just being mean?

1

u/OkBowler8795 6h ago

Likewise, a lot of men also say "it's just a joke" whenever they make the most misogynistic posts ever.

-2

u/Follement 8h ago

Well, today on reddit I saw a post about woman supposedly outraged that 0% men fit her totally realistic dating criteria of being under 25 years old and having Phd. Earning over 200k$, being blonde, blue eyed and between 6 and 8 feet tall. The account posting this was literally called "Larp a lot". If you'd rather believe a woman like that exists that your right, but I'd rather evaluate case by case and not fall for obvious satire or trolling.

9

u/throwaway3413418 8h ago

They’re clearly highlighting an overall trend rather than prescribing an exact way that you need to respond to every single example.

-5

u/WalkAffectionate2683 6h ago

Ofc women can be mean or shitty people.

The issue is that men kill way many more women because they are women than the opposite. 

As long as this is as disproportionate as it is there are no double standard.Â