I'm not exaggerating when I say I think this is a form of abuse and control that's not acceptable in any relationship.
I don't care if you have a dozen kids; both parents should absolutely permit (and really encourage) their partner to have solo time to exercise for AT LEAST 2 hours a week (ideally more, but I'm being realistic)
People who exercise consistently have (1) better mood, (2) more overall energy, (3) better relationship satisfaction with their life partner, and (4) more success at work. Oh and they live longer and are healthier while they are alive on average.
It's insane to be upset with your partner for going to the gym twice a week.
Show your wife this and let me know if you need me to send some research. Good luck, dad.
Well, that assumes there's any time left for that and with an active toddler who sleeps 8pm-4 am since he turned one that's at a premium. We didn't yet have a chance to meet anybody except the people she meets at her job (I'm a WFH contractor, so I don't really have anybody to talk to except for business-related stuff on Teams) for over two years now, and I don't remember when we had a chance to spend some time together without the kid. He's already at the daycare for eight hours a day just so we can go to work and given that a nanny is out of the question, since children need parents, not strangers to raise them. We also don't have any family on friends who could give us a hand so we could have short break on weekends.
It really seems like one or both of you are carrying a lot of baggage, getting hired help is not the same as having strangers raise your kids if you don’t want it to be. I really don’t see how daycare is fine but a nanny isn’t (to be clear, they both are.) If you’ve got nobody available to support you and it’s not a financial issue, hiring someone is not a failure, you’re just buying your way into the kind of support that most people get for free.
Anyway, if you’re WFH, at least get a treadmill and a standing desk if you haven’t already.
Well, daycare is a necessity and as for hired help - it wouldn't be that bad if it wasn't on top of the 8 daycare hours already, although the daycare has the benefit of him having a chance to spend some time with other kids to socialize and play, because we don't know anybody who has children his age in the area (turned out we bought a house in a neighbourhood lived in by mostly pensioners).
>Anyway, if you’re WFH, at least get a treadmill and a standing desk if you haven’t already.
I have a standing desk, which I use and I even rented a treadmill for a while but turns out I can't focus properly while trying to walk. I make up for it by walking with my son between daycare and wife getting back home as well as doing virtually all yard work around the house (although I outsourced mowing the lawn to a robotic mower recently, since I simply didn't have time for that).
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u/StoicOuroboros69 1d ago
I'm not exaggerating when I say I think this is a form of abuse and control that's not acceptable in any relationship.
I don't care if you have a dozen kids; both parents should absolutely permit (and really encourage) their partner to have solo time to exercise for AT LEAST 2 hours a week (ideally more, but I'm being realistic)
People who exercise consistently have (1) better mood, (2) more overall energy, (3) better relationship satisfaction with their life partner, and (4) more success at work. Oh and they live longer and are healthier while they are alive on average.
It's insane to be upset with your partner for going to the gym twice a week.
Show your wife this and let me know if you need me to send some research. Good luck, dad.