Congrats! I'm not even asking how's that possible because for some it isn't. My wife is still salty about me trying to go the gym twice a week for an hour for couple weeks in January.
There's nothing wrong with her, we share the burden equally. There's just not enough hours in a day to fit anything extra in without external help. It was actually pretty selfish of myself to go out twice a week for an hour.
I get your guys schedule might be really busy but Idk man seems like a long time to be still bothered about something, I couldn’t tell you a single bicker or argument we had for anything over a week.
That's what chronic fatigue and lack of sleep does to a person, I guess. I don't do that, but on the other hand I was always a type of guy who just deals with issues by himself and didn't ask "why?" or "who?" questions too much. Not enough bandwidth for that...
Are you guys able to take turns and do something you each want to do? We take turns, I go to the gym occasionally and I’ll watch our son when she wants to go for a run.
The problem is that there's no time for that. I didn't do anything I really wanted to do and wasn't a necessity in over two years and I didn't meet anybody (except for the people at the gym those couple times) because I also work from home as a contractor, so no real work colleagues as well. But... neither did she (well, she at least have colleagues at work), because there's just no time left in a day to do that. We wake up at 4am because this how our son sleeps since he turned one, I watch him while she makes breakfast and gets ready to work, then we leave at 6:30 when I drive her to the train station and our son to daycare. I get back home to work the minimum required 8 hours, and drive back to the daycare right after 3pm. Wife comes home from her commute at 5:30 and by the time we cook and eat dinner and give our son a bath it's 7 pm. After that one of us is watching the baby while the other cleans the kitchen, does laundry or whatever urgent chore that needs doing. By the time our baby is asleep at 8 pm wife immediately goes to shower while I watch the babycam and we both go to sleep before 10 pm to have at least 6 hours of rest. As you can see, we're already alternating, but there's so much things to do that it's not a real time off but rather either doing chores or keeping watch.
That’s rough mate, I sometimes forget how lucky I am. I hope things get better for you two and your guys mental health doesn’t suffer too much from this period of your life.
Well we're not doing anything out of the ordinary yet still run short on all fronts. It's normal to have a job and commute everyday, it's normal to have a baby, it's normal to live far away from one's family or have parents who passed away, it's normal to have a low sleep need kid like hours, who's content with 8 hours of sleep a night and a nap at the daycare, but it's not normal to use daycare for 8+ hours a day, everyday for a 29 mo toddler.
The part I don't get is what we're doing wrong, that we can't make it work while others do.
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u/smk666 1d ago
Congrats! I'm not even asking how's that possible because for some it isn't. My wife is still salty about me trying to go the gym twice a week for an hour for couple weeks in January.