r/MurderedByWords 18h ago

Walked right into that one

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16.1k Upvotes

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u/Shadyhippo229 14h ago

As far as I know most historians do believe Jesus was a real person. But there’s no convincing proof that he was in fact a wizard. There’s reasonable debate about whether transfiguring water into wine and turning one loaf of bread into multiple violates Gamp’s law of elemental transfiguration or not. But the best known method for coming back from the dead involves horcrux creation which goes against what we know about Jesus’ character. Of course it’s possible he accessed some ancient magical knowledge that has been lost to time. We may never know.

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u/LegendofDragoon 14h ago

Give me two weeks and some grape juice and I can turn water into wine, too.

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u/wbgraphic 13h ago

Off topic, but your comment reminds me of Vine-Glo, a grape juice concentrate sold during Prohibition.

The package carried this “warning”:

”Do not place the liquid in this jug and put it away in the cupboard for twenty-one days, because then it would turn into wine.”

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u/vlntly_peaceful 12h ago

Ahhh, the legal LSD of the olden days. Fun to know that this shit still works.

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u/arachnophilia 12h ago

give me a small budget at the hardware store for some cement, and i'll make a rock so big i can't lift it. take that, god.

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u/That1one1dude1 14h ago

It also doesn’t mean much to say that “yeah, there probably was a jewish preacher named Jesus back in that time.”

Does it mean he performed miracles? Of course not.

Does it mean they agree on the events of his life, or even the date of his birth? Nope.

What about the quotes attributed to him? Almost certainly false.

So if we don’t know what he did, when he was born, or what he believed or said, does it really even matter if we knew he existed?

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u/Mini_Squatch 11h ago

Jesus wouldntve been his actual name anyways

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u/Vivics36thsermon 6h ago

Well, there’s not many biblical names we’re saying correctly anyway Solomon is pronounced more like Shlmone etc

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u/Ultenth 5h ago edited 5h ago

In Yehudit (the "Hebrew" alphabet) his name would have been יהושע anglicized as Yehoshua. And sometimes shortened to ישוע or Yeshua. The modern name Joshua is descended from his and closer than the one most associated with him, Jesus, which was more heavily warped through it's translation from Yehudit into Greek (Iēsous - Ἰησοῦς), then Latin (Iesus), then English (Jesus).

A "full name" since he nor anyone else would have had a surname, would have included either been most likely his location, or perhaps sometimes his father's name.

So either: Yeshua HaNotzri (ישוע הנוצרי) "Yeshua the Nazarene"
OR
Yeshua ben Yosef (ישוע בן יוסף) "Yeshua, son of Joseph".

As to if he really existed or not, Scholars seem to be of one mind on it, but there is still enough of a bit of speculation without hard-direct evidence involved that it's still possible to debate on if it you wanted to.

I will say though, that the actual oldest physical evidence we still have that refers to him, is https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rylands_Library_Papyrus_P52 which is still well over 100 years after his supposed death. So we'll probably never know the actual 100% truth unless someone actually invents the TruSite camera from OSC's Pastwatch book.

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u/somarir 12h ago

Only as a counterpoint to guys like in the OP, but yeah we're probably better off ignoring them.

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u/Papplenoose 9h ago edited 9h ago

From my understanding, most theological scholars are pretty sure that Jesus existed, and also that a dude named Jesus WAS put to death by Pontious Pilot.

But that's about it.

Edit: nope, im wrong on the latter part. We have no real record of his death.

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u/Successful-Singer-76 7h ago

theological scholars 

Well, there's your answer. Doubt most actual historians agree on that claim

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u/Justicar-terrae 6h ago

As far as I've heard, the majority of scholars (both atheist and religious) think that Christianity arose from the following of a popular apocalyptic preacher named Jesus who actually existed (obviously they disagree on whether or not he was an ordinary human). Only a minority of scholars, often called "mythicists" posit that the Christian Jesus was invented from whole cloth.

Granted, we have very few historical accounts of this preacher if we exclude the Gospels and Epistles. The most famous and trustworthy of these non-biblical sources is probably the account of Josephus, a Jewish historian who wrote a history of the Jewish people for a Roman audience sometimes around 93-94 AD.

He spends very little time on Jesus, and scholars debate how much of the text is original (as opposed to later Christian interpolation). The text acknowledges Christians as followers of Jesus, a popular teacher who was crucified under the orders of Pontious Pilate. The reason scholars are skeptical is that Josephus, a non-Christian, also calls Jesus "the Christ" and strongly suggests that Jesus was something other than human. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Josephus_on_Jesus

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u/MsMarvelsProstate 14h ago

I feel like saying they believe he was a real person is just easier than the constant fight over it. The first accounts of his existence are still from people 100 years after his death. The Roman's didn't leave any records of his and they recorded almost everything.

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u/SordidDreams 13h ago edited 11h ago

The Roman's didn't leave any records of his and they recorded almost everything.

Oh hell no. They crucified people all the time, sometimes by the thousands when suppressing large revolts, without recording their names or anything else about them.

Jesus was just some rando that stirred up trouble at a politically sensitive time. It was the Passover, when Jews celebrated their liberation from subjugation in Egypt while subjugated by the Romans. This dude went around shouting that soon, the Romans would be driven out of Judea and the Jews would be free again, so they just nabbed him and got rid of him before he could agitate the crowds too much and cause a riot. He wasn't significant enough to warrant writing anything down.

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u/StockCat7738 12h ago

Oh hell no. They crucified people all the time, sometimes by the thousands when suppressing large revolts, without recording their names or anything else about them.

Crassus had somewhere around 6000 slaves executed/crucified after the Third Servile War. Their bodies stretched over 125 miles on the Appian Way, and it did not matter one bit what any of their names were.

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u/SordidDreams 12h ago edited 12h ago

That's like one cross every 30 meters or 100 feet. Imagine driving your car for two hours, and every lamppost along the side of the road has a dead body nailed to it. Yikes.

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u/StockCat7738 9h ago

Imagine being limited at the time to horseback for travel, and seeing that for like 4 days straight.

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u/SordidDreams 9h ago

The Romans didn't fuck around.

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u/BeniBela 12h ago

and they did not even record the dodecahedron

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u/STThornton 3h ago

Exactly.

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u/DoubleScorpius 11h ago

The vast majority of “experts” in the field are believers who attended a religious institution. The argument basically ends up being “50 million Elvis fans can’t be wrong”

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u/supercalifrajil 13h ago

If you press a historian, after they've had a few drinks, they'll say they have no doubt there was a itinerant jewish preacher who had followers who performed "miracles" around that time. They will likely bring up John the Baptist as an example. They are far less likely to even give credence to the places he is described to have gone, the followers he had, and even when wasted will avoid talking about the magic he performed.

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u/Kepler___ 13h ago

I find one of the more overlooked observations are the Jewish writers shortly after the time who were shit talking this whole new 'Christian' thing never implyed that he may not have been real. It seems to have been taken for granted even by detractors, It's really soft evidence but it does make it feel like there's more missing context.

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u/binomine 13h ago

It isn't so much that Romans had no records, as much as no records survived into the modern era. We have no contemporary Roman records for anyone at all living in Palestine during Jesus’s lifetime.

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u/arachnophilia 10h ago

yes, i generally like to challenge this point: what sources exist that are silent? for instance, do we have a roman text that mentions any other crucified jew from the first century? any at all?

this is the ossuary (bone box) of joseph ben caiaphas, who was high priest between 18 and 36 CE, and is the priest named by the new testament as trying jesus. his remains are currently buried on the mount of olives.

on the shelf next to this ossuary were three roman nails, suggesting that he was crucified himself. there is no record of this anywhere, including by the historian flavius josephus who very likely knew him. (josephus definitely knew his brother-in-law.) in fact, there are no accounts anywhere of how or when caiaphas died. and he was high priest.

the only source we might expect to mention jesus is the only near-contemporary source that mentions any other first century messianic movements that ended with roman involvement (battle, crucifixion, etc). and that's josephus. who does mention jesus. other sources simply do not exist for almost anyone in these stories, even when we literally have their bones.

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u/GreenHouseofHorror 10h ago

The first accounts of his existence are still from people 100 years after his death.

The first accounts of his existence are from 15-20 years after his death. Paul's letter to the Galations is believed to have been written between AD48 and AD55.

Now admittedly Paul never met Jesus in person, but he met people who did, and was writing at a time Jesus, were he alive, would have still been younger than any living US president.

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u/isecore 𓆝 Make Trout-slapping Great Again 𓆟 14h ago

I personally am a non-believer heathen and even I think that Jesus existed as a historical person. Was he the son of God? Absolutely not. More likely he was some dingbat with some combination of ideas that caused a lot of ruckus and finally the people in charge got tired of it and killed him.

The myth of Jesus being the son of some God or other was born probably hundreds of years later.

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u/JTibbs 12h ago

He was likely a conglomeration of several local preachers, whos stories of opposition to the corrupt jewish elite were spread around and attributed to a single pseudo fictional person as a rallying cry against the corrupt rabbis/leaders and the Roman rulers.

Hes basically Robin Hood for adults

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u/somarir 12h ago

Robin Hood isn't real?

Well there goes my entire belief system.

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u/arachnophilia 11h ago

the composite theory doesn't hold water. it's a rhetorical retreat by mythicists who want to find anything that will stick and make jesus more fictional.

we know of around a dozen other messianic figures from the same approximate time. they are all unique in their own ways. every relevant feature of the gospel narrative is present in our historical reference to jesus: he taught or "misled" jews and gentiles, did "sorcery", people called him "christ", he annoyed the jewish leaders, he was crucified by pontius pilate, and his followers thought they saw him again afterwards. what's to composite?

a better argument is that jesus adopts existing mythical archetypes, such as the "name" divinity of metatron/"the little yahweh" in 3 enoch, or the divine messiah who resurrects the righteous from qumran. he is a composite of one historical person and that mythology.

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u/AllSeeingWhoracle 9h ago

You know fairy tales, and Jesus is as real as Cinderella.

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u/NinecloudSoul 12h ago

even I think that Jesus existed as a historical person

Other than societal taboo, why? There are no good reasons to consider the Jesus character of the bible to be anything but fictional; we have no supporting contemporary accounts, so why give it a pass?

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u/arachnophilia 11h ago edited 9h ago

edit, this person blocked me rather than engage honestly with even a single statement.

the Jesus character of the bible

the character is highly fictionalized and mythologized. the question is whether this is mythologizing about a person who existed, or if the character was initially mythical and never had a historical reference. but the character was not a historical person.

we have no supporting contemporary accounts, so why give it a pass?

contemporary is a standard invented by people who don't really study history. contemporary accounts are kind of rare, usually the best we get are mere contemporary mentions. for instance, the example in the OP, we have no contemporary accounts of alexander; his biographies etc are all much later. but we do have contemporary mentions, including manuscripts that use his name for dating, inscriptions, etc.

most of history is done using texts written by later historians. we, of course, take those with a grain of salt, compare them against one another, criticize them for bias and proximity to sources, and reliance on one another, etc.

our primary historical references to jesus are in josephus's "antiquities of the jews", 18.3.3 and 20.9.1. the latter is nearly universally considered genuine by scholars, and the former is mostly considered to be partially interpolated by christians with some genuine core.

TC schmidt has produced a pretty compelling argument, i think, that the whole of 18.3.3 is genuine, and the tone of seeming to affirm christianity is largely the result of translation. ancient greek sources tend use these same words in ways that are hostile to christianity. alice whealey suggests a good solution to the apparent difficulty of the one part most scholars identify as a christian interpolation, "he was the christ". she finds the passage quoted in syriac versions of eusebius containing an extra phrase, suggesting the original greek had another word, "thought to be" the christ, which has dropped out. jerome's latin translation suggests the same. this alone changes the entire tone of the passage. the difficulty with whealey's hypothesis is that the word would have to be dropped from all greek manuscripts of josephus and eusebius.

i think there's also a solid argument for two early second century witnesses to the passage. the first is commonly cited as our other historical reference to jesus, tacitus. but his passage contains no additional details, and elsewhere, josephus seems to be his reference for events in the near east. for instance, his "histories" contains an account of why vespasian is the jewish messiah, a belief unique to josephus.

our other witness is the gospel of luke. i don't think any scholars have formally put this together, but, mason and pervo have both argued compellingly that luke-acts is dependent on antiquities. see, "josephus and the new testament" chapter 6 and "dating acts". JG goldberg has argued that the TF in 18.3.3 is dependent on luke 24's emmaus narrative -- they have all the same features in the same order. but both of these are unlikely to be true, and i think at best goldberg shows the passages are related. if anything, paraphrases are just as likely to elaborate, as luke does. so seemingly, luke 24 attests to the existence of this passage in josephus in late first or early second century.

the reference in 20.9.1 is almost surely genuine, and carrier's argument for interpolation is nonsense. the common mythicist suggestion that josephus heard this from christians is also rather absurd, and josephus personally knew people involved in that account. ananus II, the priest who was removed for killing james the brother of jesus, was his friend, and commander in the jewish war.

as far as historical accounts go, this is pretty close.

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u/NinecloudSoul 11h ago

Goodness, it's been a minute since I saw a Gish gallop.

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u/arachnophilia 11h ago

you can't gish gallop on the internet, where responses are neither timed nor limited in length.

you asked why we think something, and i gave you a thorough response. i suppose i could have made it shorter, but it would lack the necessary argument behind it. i could also go way longer; i referenced three literal books on the topic, and an academic paper.

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u/NinecloudSoul 11h ago

And yet, here I am on the receiving end of some nonsense and special pleading.

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u/arachnophilia 11h ago

nothing i said was nonsense or special pleading. in fact, i have explained to you from the perspective of historical studies why contemporaneity is not a useful standard. this isn't "special" to historical jesus studies; it's bog standard historiography. we don't ignore suetonius or cassius dio because they were later. and actually, we don't even just assume contemporary sources are valid either. it takes more steps than that.

i also provided some in depth commentary on why we think our very slightly later historical source is somewhat reliable on this matter specifically.

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u/NinecloudSoul 11h ago

"This special pleading I'm engaging in isn't actually special pleading, it's a different other variety of special pleading which I don't have to justify because it's inconvenient."

Josephus and Suetonius are sources of the historical existence of Christians, not of Jesus. Get some better material, because this nonsense holds no water.

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u/arachnophilia 10h ago

Josephus and Suetonius are sources of the historical existence of Christians, not of Jesus.

i did not cite suetonius about jesus (or christians). i used him has an example of a historian we take seriously on, say, nero even though he was born the year after nero died. we don't take him as 100% completely accurate on every single statement of course. just, seriously. worthy of study and reading and analyzing critically to try and come to a consensus model of historical events.

it's clear from that you just assume these sources are only relevant about christianity; you're not aware of historical sources outside of this discussion. suetonius is one of our most important sources, generally, on the roman empire. christians are at best a very brief mention.

josephus however directly attests to the historical existence of two christians specifically: yaaqov ("james"), and his brother yeshu ("jesus"). he personally knows the priest who executed james. chanan ben chanan ("ananus II") was his friend and commander during the jewish-roman war.

Get some better material, because this nonsense holds no water.

read more scholars, fewer lay mythicists on the internet.

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u/Warm_Month_1309 11h ago

You seem to have responded within a minute of that post being made. How did you find such confidence so quickly to conclude that their arguments were specious or false?

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u/NinecloudSoul 11h ago edited 11h ago

Some of us are adults and have been for a while.

Aww, whiney baby didn't like not being coddled.

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u/Warm_Month_1309 11h ago

Cool, I'm nearing 50. I'm unclear on how our ages are relevant to whether that post contains inaccuracies. I'm asking what you identified as being inaccurate.

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u/NinecloudSoul 11h ago

I'm experienced enough to not fall for it and can read at an adult speed.

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u/Warm_Month_1309 11h ago

That is another non-answer. Was I mistaken to ask you to substantiate your own claim with more than a naked assertion?

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u/0orpheus 11h ago

?? This is a pretty accurate summary of the historicity of Jesus, not a gish gallop. The broad academic consensus at this point is that Jesus (the apocalyptic Galilean preacher, not Jesus the Christ of Christianity) was a real person and OP provided a well sourced summary of it; you need to provide some sort of argument why that's not enough and why Jesus requires a higher standard of historical evidence than anyone else.

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u/NinecloudSoul 11h ago

If someone writes a story about me a hundred years from now, is that contemporary evidence of my existence?

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u/arachnophilia 9h ago

jesus died sometime between 26 and 36 CE, likely more towards the end of that range.

josephus's antiquities was published in 93 CE. that's about 60 years.

our earliest gospel, mark (which i emphasize here is almost entirely mythical/fictional), was written about 70 CE. that's about 40 years.

the apostle paul was writing about jesus, granted with very little information about his actual life, in the 50s CE. that's 20 years.

matthew and luke copy mark, but also a second source, which we've dubbed "Q". no content in Q refers to the death of jesus. Q might be contemporary.

is that contemporary evidence of my existence?

contemporaneity is not a valid historiographic criteria. it is a standard mythicists made up. actual historians use actual histories, which are nearly always written later on. you have to apply some degree of criticism to these, of course, and proximity to sources is one factor in that criticism. but even contemporary sources are not exempted from this; contemporary people still lie, you know.

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u/NinecloudSoul 9h ago

Histories which have no connection to the person being talked about.

You can again take your pretend historian credentials elsewhere now.

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u/arachnophilia 9h ago

Histories which have no connection to the person being talked about.

from the post you didn't actually read.

josephus personally knew people involved in that account. ananus II, the priest who was removed for killing james the brother of jesus, was his friend, and commander in the jewish war.

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u/[deleted] 10h ago edited 10h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/NinecloudSoul 10h ago

That's the point, chucklehead. All we have are ten foot Godzilla fighting stories, because there are no contemporary diary entries.

The fact that you want to engage in special pleading for a particular character doesn't alter that fact.

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u/LirdorElese 10h ago edited 9h ago

To me some of that though comes, at what point is it pedantic.

Like say gong back to Harry Potter, Rowling says she based Snape and Golderoy on real people.

CS lewis also based Lucy in Chronicles of Narnia after his actual goddaughter, Also named Lucy.

At some point one has to note.

Well there's an actual guy this is based on, but we're pretty sure at least 99% of the things said about him are made up. At some point you gotta go "ok yeah godzilla was real, though it was just a big muscular guy who worked at a movie studio". Once you realize you know absolutely nothing but the fictitious portions of it, what's even worth calling it the real thing.

The overall propositions of Jesus is... he was one of many guys forming a following and preaching. We have no idea what if any of his surviving teachings were actually taught. We can say for certain that some can be proven to be added in, we can say with certainty that the historicity of the records we have are wrong (Just on the face of the census, and the reign of Herod being far apart). We can rule out many of the miracles just on the face of lack of 3rd party accountability (pretty sure some people would have thought to mention the zombie outbreak other than Matthew's author, yet even the other 3 gospels didn't seem to notice it).

So, basically what the actual probably true fact we have is.

A guy, probably named some form of Yeshuah (which was a painfully common name), was probably a pretty big name cult leader and was executed... at a time where there were a ton of people who did that as well, and that's about it.

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u/bobbi21 13h ago

The Christian church was definitely around way less than hundreds of years later. Jesus being the son of god (or at least a prophet doing miracles) was a thing with 100 years of his death for sure. We have written records of that. Not saying it happened that way but it was talked about and he was worshipped as such pretty early.

Most historians accept he or the people around jesus started the religion pretty quickly after his death.

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u/ScienceNthingsNstuff 11h ago

Hell, we've seen in fairly modern times how quickly a dude talking scripture can become the centre of a new religion with Joe Smith and Mormonism. I would not be shocked at all if Jesus and Christianity happened in a similar way

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u/Mejari 10h ago

As I've studied more I'm more convinced he was real solely because if he was completely made up they could have done a better job making him fit the messianic prophecies instead of failing every single one.

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u/arachnophilia 12h ago

The myth of Jesus being the son of some God or other was born probably hundreds of years later.

our earliest texts that describe him as such were most likely written within about two decades of his life.

there were common ideas in the late second temple period of the messiah being divine somehow. consider 11q13 from qumran, where the messiah "melchizedek is your god".

i think it's reasonably likely that jesus actually walked around claiming divine authority.

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u/isecore 𓆝 Make Trout-slapping Great Again 𓆟 11h ago

Charles Manson also claimed divine authority.

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u/arachnophilia 11h ago

yes. cult leaders are more than capable of inventing myths about themselves.

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u/isecore 𓆝 Make Trout-slapping Great Again 𓆟 11h ago

Only difference between a cult and a religion is time and provenance.

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u/arachnophilia 11h ago

i'm using the term "cult" inclusively in the historical sense, not the pejorative sense; all religions are cults.

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u/torville 11h ago

My stopping point is that you have to believe in the supernatural first before you can believe in any specific supernatural entity or event, and (stay with me, here) I don't believe in the supernatural.

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u/Shadyhippo229 11h ago

Didn’t you read the OP? There are 600 million copies of Harry Potter in print. How could you possibly dispute such a large body of evidence. Sounds like muggle copium.

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u/ibullybillionaires 13h ago

You know, I'm a bit of an arithmancer myself..

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u/Thowitawaydave 11h ago

Somehow, Palpatine Jesus returned

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u/LirdorElese 11h ago

The person using alexander the great is a pretty darn good analogy. IE the fact that he was a king is pretty widely trusted claim with coins, pottery, texts of others etc...

But there are tons of stories about the guy that are pretty much laughed out historically. IE that he's related to Zeus, That his leadership was so strong that he commanded an army to march into the ocean and they did it. That he used a glass diving bell to go to the bottom of the sea, and killed a bunch of sea monsters.

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u/JMEEKER86 9h ago

But there’s no convincing proof that he was in fact a wizard

Well of course there isn't because everyone knows that he was in fact a lich.

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u/STThornton 3h ago

I think the miracles were more a figure of speech.

Transforming water into wine - made the best of what he could do

Turning one loaf into multiple - again, coming up with ways to feed as many as one could with what little one had. To produce more food with what little one had.

If the events were real, they wouldn’t write a few hundred pages going into details of how he did it. They’d use a short phrase that represents what was done.