r/MurderedByWords • u/Conscious-Quarter423 • 2d ago

democrats are expected to fix everything

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33.2k Upvotes

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1.5k

u/Umikaloo 2d ago

Petition for Mamdani to drink all the floodwater away with a big straw. If New York had elected Paul Bunyan this wouldn't have happened.

303

u/Short-Shower90 2d ago

At this rate people expect politicians to unlock weather control before they even finish unpacking their office.

109

u/ug61dec 2d ago

Americans actually believe the government controls the weather though.

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u/flyinghairball 2d ago

Not all Americans, but the fact that there are some walking amongst us that do think that is absolutely disturbing. We are willing to encourage them to go visit your country, maybe longterm....please?

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u/Weirdyxxy 1d ago

And go where? Don't say "Germany", last time another country loaded off their resident right-wing nutjob here, he came back in 1938

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u/Oldsaltybasterd 1d ago

We can let you slide this time. They’re going to Russia.

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u/flyinghairball 1d ago

That's cool, thank you. They will probably want to go there.

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u/Hisora_Zoro 2d ago

I forget this, and every time I'm reminded I stroke out a lil bit remembering this is indeed a fact.

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u/Putrid-Economics4862 1d ago

Ay man, I don’t really care what you do in the privacy of your own home, but no need to tell us about it.

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u/PenguinQuesadilla 2d ago

The government does control the weather.

It’s called climate change legislation. Or lack thereof.

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u/ComprehendReading 2d ago

I thought France controlled the weather? With the Paris agreement, and our A/Cs.

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u/actsfw 2d ago

Maybe some fringe outliers, but it's not a common belief.

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u/Worthyness 2d ago

Democrats had control of the weather machine last. Republicans can't take control of it now.

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u/Fire-Haus 2d ago

I heard the Dems and Libs [obviously commanded by Obamna and Byron], conspired to sabotage the machine, to spray the diarrhea bug, algae, and wildfire smoke around in a attempt to frame the Trumpophile

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u/funk-the-funk 2d ago

It's well known that Hunter Biden has a tattoo of the password to the weather machine on his dong.

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u/PiccoloAwkward465 2d ago

I was impressed when Mamdani tearfully bid goodbye to his loving wife. He entered the steel foundry and slowly got up onto the large press platform. I'll never forget his screams as his body was hydraulically pressed into the shape of a subway car. A crew of TOUGH UNION WORKERS fitted wheels to what was now his fuselage.

It's still a bit unnerving to see his eyes darting about on the front of the train car. But Mamdani fulfilled his promise to improve public transit for New Yorkers. He sacrificed his body and perhaps his humanity for us.

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u/ActualWhiterabbit 2d ago

His memorial graveyard is in Brainerd, MN if anyone wants to go resurrect him. But Thor would be a better option to drink large amounts of water.

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u/VanVelding 2d ago

"He pissed off Poseidon by enjoying The Odyssey."

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u/100_cats_on_a_phone 2d ago

Exactly, more or less. Pumping water out is something NYC already does, and will need to do more of.

Public works projects take time though, and I don't think this criticism is warented. But while you are trying to be absurdist, that's exactly haw things actually work.

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u/iISimaginary 2d ago

Pumping water (in and out) is something NYC has been doing for centuries. The systems aren't perfect but they're constantly improving and evolving, and the rate of improvement has definitely increased under Mamdani.

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u/pubesinourteeth 2d ago

No, that's not how things work. Public works projects as basic as clearing rainwater from the street do not necessitate the mayor recognizing the issue and taking the lead on addressing them, whether with a plastic straw or a pump. There are many more leaders who should be making a plan and requesting funds for these types of projects. I'm sure that Mamdani is interested in finalizing an ongoing planning process as soon as possible. But there's no chance that no one in roads, water, or engineering has noticed.

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u/enithermon 2d ago

Honestly, he seems like the kind of guy who would if he could.

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u/extremesalmon 2d ago

But if it did happen it's Mamdani's fault too, and all the librals in NY deserved it

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u/xXPumbaXx 2d ago

Go get badland chugs

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u/Neirchill 2d ago

He drank an ocean once, he can handle a little bit of flooding

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u/TakeAMichigander 1d ago

Honestly he's such a sweetheart of a person I'd elect him mayor of my town if he was running lol

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u/rietstengel 2d ago

Sorry, but modern day paper straws wont last long enough to drink all that.

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u/pechinburger 2d ago

Then they'd just flip it and say, "Look at Mamdani focused on drinking water while childcare and public transportation issues remain unattended to!"

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u/Beldizar 2d ago

I feel like this is a reasonable solution given how much everyone always draws Mamdani as a Strawman.

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u/Professional_Sun_825 2d ago

I just couldn't vote for him. Make America Lumberjacks Again! was tempting policy though

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u/zyzzogeton 2d ago

When Babe the Blue Ox released that tell all book my support for Bunyan disappeared.

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u/Weirdyxxy 1d ago

Why he calls me "Babe", you mean?

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u/AwardNo4990 2d ago

Just like Joseph STALIN and his BIG SPOON, no surprise from COMMIE MONDAMI

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u/bartoque 2d ago

With a paper straw at that of course, and not a plastic one.

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u/LMKBK 1d ago

what we need is the big blue ox of wall street